Title: Breakaway
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 50ficlets
Prompt: 35, Break
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

"I think it's best that we both make a clean break from our pasts," the Doctor murmured, sinking back against Ianto's chest as the warm water of the bath lapped around them. "You from Torchwood, and me from .... other things."

Ianto tapped one long finger against the Time Lord's lips, shaking his head. "One thing in particular that you need to make a clean break from, Doctor," he said softly, brushing his lips against the Doctor's hair. "All the guilt that you still carry around with you."

The Doctor sighed softly, closing his eyes and leaning his head against his lover's shoulder. "You're right, I know. But it's not that easy, Ianto. That guilt has been building up for a very long time."

"I know it has -- which is all the more reason for you to put it behind you," Ianto said firmly, his arms moving around the Doctor's waist under the warm water. "Us being together is the start of a whole new life for you, and the guilt of the past has no place in that life."

"Do you know how hard it is to just push that guilt out of my life?" the Doctor asked, sighing again. "Ianto, if it was that easy to do, if I could just make it disappear by wishing it gone and refusing to think about it, then it would have vanished long ago."

"You've nurtured that guilt, Doctor," Ianto told him, wishing that there was some easier way to put what he wanted to say into words. "It's not that you really want it -- but you've made it such a part of yourself that it's hard for you to negate it."

"Which is why it's all the harder for me to make a break away from it." The Doctor fell silent for a few moments, then he took a deep breath before he spoke again. "I can't make a break with everything from my past, Ianto. There's too much that I can't leave behind."

"I don't think you should expect yourself to push everything away," Ianto told him. "Just the bad parts of it, the parts that you don't need to remember."

"And what about you?" the Doctor questioned, turning his head slightly to look up at Ianto with raised brows. "I know it can't be easy for you to put your work with Torchwood behind you -- or what you had with Jack. That would be hard for anyone."

And I would know, were the unspoken words. Ianto almost winced, but he managed to keep himself still. Of course the Doctor would know how hard it was to put Jack behind him, considering that he'd been involved with the immortal as well.

Besides, Jack had been the first man Ianto had ever dated. The first man he'd had a relationship with. The first man he'd fallen in love with -- though that love hadn't been returned, any more than Jack had returned what the Doctor had surely felt for him.

"Yes, it's hard -- but not impossible," Ianto finally said, his words soft. "I have someone now who's so much better than him -- someone who I love much more than I ever loved Jack."

"I know you loved him," the Doctor said, closing his eyes and sighing softly. "I did too, at one time. But he's not capable of returning anyone's love -- we both found that out the hard way. I just .... wonder sometimes if you still have feelings for him."

Ianto shook his head immediately, knowing that he was telling the Doctor the unvarnished truth. "No, I don't," he said, his voice firm and steady. "My feelings for Jack had become nothing but friendship before I met you, Doctor. You've been the only man for me since our first meeting."

"I hope that we've both managed to put the part of our pasts that includes Jack where it belongs," the Doctor said, relaxing in Ianto's arms. The young man could almost feel the tension seeping out of the Time Lord's body as he held the other man.

"Yes, we have -- and I've made a clean break with Torchwood, too," Ianto said slowly. "I do miss it in some ways, but it was time for me to leave."

"It's past time for both of us to break away from things that we've left behind." The Doctor's voice was stronger now, firmer, as though he'd made a decision that he was determined to keep. "I have to put the guilt over Gallifrey behind me. I should have done it long ago."

"I know that it isn't easy to let that go, Doctor," Ianto told him, brushing a gentle kiss across the Time Lord's cheek. "I've never been in that position before, so I can't say that I understand just what you're feeling. But I know about guilt. And I know that you can't hang onto it."

"I won't say that I'll be able to put all of that guilt behind me in one fell swoop," the Doctor admitted with another soft sigh. "But I'll try, Ianto. I don't want that to cloud our relationship -- and you're right, of course. It should be kept in my past."

"I'll be here to help you, love," Ianto said softly, bending his head to kiss the Time Lord. "You're not going to have to deal with anything alone again -- especially something as hard as that. I'll be here to help you along, every step of the way."

"And I'll be here to help you with anything you might need," the Doctor whispered, raising a hand to stroke Ianto's cheek. "We're a partnership, you know."

Ianto could only nod; he was too choked up at the moment to speak. With each other's help, the two of them would indeed be able to make a break from the past -- and they would walk into their future, all the stronger for doing that together.

***