Title: Bring Me To Life
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Owen Harper
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Table: Buffet 1, fc_smorgasbord
Prompt: 61, Chance
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Owen Harper, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

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Owen leaned forward in the chair he was sitting in, frowning as he rested his elbows on the console of the Tardis. He'd been deep in thought for a while, but the problems swirling around in his head didn't seem to have any clear solution.

What was he doing here with the Doctor? Oh, he knew how he'd come to be here, of course. Jack had asked the Doctor to save him from that radiation, and the Time Lord had risked his own life to do so. Owen had gotten incredibly lucky there.

But the Doctor had done more than that. He'd whisked Owen away to New Earth, where they'd had the technology to literally bring him back to life. No more walking around inhabiting what was literally a dead body. He was returned to his life as a normal, functioning human.

He'd been given a second chance, a chance that no one else he knew would ever have. It had seemed miraculous enough when that glove had brought him back, even though it hadn't been able to return him to his original state.

This was so different from the half-life he'd been leading when the Doctor had rescued him. He wouldn't have thought that he would be so happy to have his life back; he'd been able to do so much when he didn't have to worry about being killed.

That wasn't something he would want to go back to, now that he looked back on his time spent as more or less a walking corpse. It had taught him something about his own humanity -- as well as making him softer and gentler towards others.

But it hadn't been an existence he'd enjoyed. That was it, he told himself as the word came into his mind. Existence. That was all he'd had. It wasn't a life; he was merely existing, walking through the world as a shadow.

The Doctor had made sure he'd had another chance to live his life as he wanted to. And he was more grateful for that chance than he could possibly put into words. He would never be able to thank the Time Lord enough for giving him that chance.

Was that the only reason he was here? Did he feel such gratitude for the Doctor that he'd somehow thought it was love? It was all too easy to get those kinds of emotions confused in his own mind; he'd found that out more than once in the past.

No, Owen told himself firmly, pushing that thought away from him. He wasn't merely grateful to the Time Lord. He loved the Doctor; there was more holding them together than him being grateful. There was a much stronger emotion that bound them to each other.

He knew that the Doctor loved him. He could see that love written on the Doctor's face when the Time Lord looked at him, see it in those dark eyes whenever their gazes met. The force of that love staggered Owen, and almost made him feel ashamed.

He hadn't done anything to deserve a love as strong as the Doctor's. He'd spent most of his life being selfish -- and even though he'd been a doctor and had saved lives, he'd still thought of himself and his own desires far too much.

There had been times when he'd tried to be less selfish, to think more about others than himself. And there were times when he succeeded admirably in doing that. Hell, that was what had gotten him killed in the first place, wasn't it?

But there had also been far too many times when he'd only thought of himself, following the thread of what he personally wanted instead of what would be for the best in the long run. And those were times that he bitterly regretted and wished that he could change.

The Doctor had given him that chance. He might not be able to go back and change the past, but he could try to be a better person in the future and think about the big picture first, rather than putting his own desires ahead of the world.

He wouldn't be able to change himself completely. He knew that, and he didn't want to try. He wasn't a bad person overall, after all. He didn't need to wear sackcloth and ashes, or give himself penance. He just had to try to put others ahead of himself.

After all, Owen thought with a small smile, the Doctor wouldn't have fallen in love with him if there wasn't something good to be seen, some spark that had attracted the Time Lord. So he didn't need to change in every way. He just needed to work on the bad parts.

He'd come a long way since he'd joined Torchwood. His heart had healed from losing two people he'd loved -- though if he was honest with himself, the second affair of the heart would have burned out very quickly if she hadn't been a selfish bitch herself and left him.

He had thought that he'd never give his heart to anyone else after that -- but now he knew that wasn't true. He'd always told himself that he didn't need love in his life -- that the physical union was enough for him, and that the emotional side didn't matter.

But in his time with the Doctor, he'd learned something about himself. He needed the kind of love that the Doctor gave him. He could exist without it, but he couldn't live. He had only been half-alive when he'd been holding himself back from giving his heart.

The Doctor had given him a chance to love again, when he'd been absolutely sure that there would be nothing more of love in his life. The Time Lord had opened a door that he'd been sure was fully shut and locked, a door that he'd never be able to walk through again.

He wasn't going to waste that chance. Not many people were given the opportunity that had been given to him, and it was ridiculous for him to question why he had it. Just as it was ridiculous to question what he was doing here.

He was here because he loved the Doctor, and because he wanted to be here. Nothing forced him to be here; it wasn't mere gratitude that kept him on the Tardis. He was here because there was nowhere else in the world that he wanted to be.

There was no way that he could go back to the life he'd lived before, not after he'd been with the Doctor and lived this life of complete freedom. And, truth be told, he didn't miss his old life much, because the one he'd stepped into was so wondrous.

The reason that he didn't want to leave wasn't only due to the amazing places he got to see, though. He didn't want to leave because he would leave his heart behind if he did. He'd fallen in love with the Doctor, much more deeply than he'd ever loved before.

That love was what kept him here. A love that bound him to the Doctor more surely than any marriage vows could ever have done, more strongly than anything he'd ever felt for anyone else. He wouldn't forsake that love, not for any reason.

He'd been given a chance that he would have never expected, the chance not only to put his life back together, but the chance to spend that life with someone he loved. The Doctor had held out a hand to bring him to life, and he never wanted to let go of that hand.

Owen smiled as he heard the Doctor's footsteps in the corridor, approaching the control room. Oh yes, he knew just why he was here. And now that he'd been given this second chance with his life, he was going to show the man who'd given him that chance just how much it was appreciated.

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