Title: Broken Again
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: R
Table: 1, 10_hurt_comfort
Prompt: 5, Broken
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor turned onto his side, wincing as he did so and biting his lip to hold back a groan. He didn't want to disturb Ianto; the young man was sleeping beside him, and the Time Lord knew that humans needed a great deal more sleep than he himself did.

Besides, Ianto was exhausted. He needed to rest. Humans tired much more easily than Gallifreyans, and Ianto had certainly been through enough to warrant sleeping for a few days, not just hours. The Doctor wanted to let him get all the rest that he could.

He owed his young lover so much, the Doctor thought as he lay there, his eyes wide open, unable to sleep. If it hadn't been for Ianto, he could possibly be dead by now. Or he could have had no choice but to regenerate into a new body -- something that he definitely didn't want to do.

How many times could this happen? How many times could he get himself into a situation that Ianto had to pull him out of? And, more importantly, how many times could Ianto do it before he made the decision to walk away for good?

The Doctor closed his eyes, as though to shut out the vision of Ianto turning away from him. No. That wasn't going to happen. Ianto loved him too much to leave him. They were soul mates; they were destined for each other. Ianto believed that as much as he did.

But how many times could he be broken, over and over, again and again, and still expect this man to love him and want to be with him? It couldn't go on forever, in an endless circle of the Doctor needing Ianto to come to his rescue.

He'd do it, of course. Ianto wasn't the kind of person who would turn away from anyone in need -- and certainly not the person he loved. But the Doctor didn't want to put him to that test. It wasn't fair to Ianto -- though he knew that the young man would do anything for him.

Ianto had searched for him tirelessly, finally finding him and getting him out of the situation he'd been in. All without losing his composure. It was a remarkable feat.

He would have expected Jack to take it all in his stride; but Ianto had never dealt with something like medieval slave traders before. It had surprised the Doctor that the young man had found him at all, that he'd had the resources to be able to do so.

But he had, and that was the only thing that mattered. They were both safe in the Tardis, far away from the time and place where they'd been for the past few .... what was it, days? The Doctor had lost all sense of time, at this point.

Funny, how someone who could travel in time and space could pay so little attention to time. He gingerly rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Now, there was something to think about. Something to distract him from the aches and pains of his body.

He hadn't wanted to look at himself when Ianto had gotten him back to the Tardis and stripped his clothes off. He was bruised and battered, and, to his eyes, broken and unattractive. Ianto wouldn't want to look at him, to be with him.

Of course, his young lover had proven him wrong, gently tending to his wounds, taking the Doctor into his arms and holding him until he'd fallen asleep.

How could he ever repay this young man for everything he'd already done? The Doctor turned his head to look at Ianto, all the love that he felt for the other man in his gaze. There was no way that he could ever begin to put into words how grateful he was that this man loved him.

Ianto accepted him for who and what he was, followed him into all these situations that he managed to get himself into -- and even managed to rescue him from them when they were too much for him to handle alone. It was more than anyone else would do.

What had he done to deserve that kind of love? Nothing, as far as he could see. He'd gotten Ianto into trouble, made him risk his life several times. And he'd probably have to do it again in the future. Hardly a fair trade, not in the Doctor's eyes.

He counted on Ianto for so much. For love, support, and for help when he needed it. Of course, he gave the same in return, but somehow, it didn't seem like enough.

That was ridiculous. In Ianto's eyes, it was more than enough. He'd certianly said that more than once, so many times, in fact, that the Doctor had to believe it. Ianto wasn't the type of man to lie; if he said something to that effect, he meant it.

What would happen if it was Ianto who was in this position? What if his young lover was the one to be captured, battered and broken? An icy shiver made its way down the Doctor's spine, and he could feel a cold sweat breaking out over his body.

He'd been in the position of having people he cared for hurt before. But never anyone who was as close to him as Ianto was; he'd lost lovers, yes, but he'd steadfastly refused to believe that anything of the sort could possibly happen to his soul mate.

Turning over onto his side so that he was looking at Ianto, he let his eyes roam over those familiar features, the face he'd grown to love. What would he do if anything happened to Ianto? How could he go on if he lost the love of his life?

The Doctor closed his eyes, holding back the rush of tears that threatened to spill over. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to acknowledge that anything could possibly happen to take the man he loved away from him.

But he couldn't ignore the fact that he was constantly putting himself in danger, and Ianto as well. Anything could happen, and he had to be prepared for that eventuality.

If he thought he was broken now, he would be bloody well useless if anything happened to Ianto. He'd not only be damaged in body, but in spirit as well. It would be impossible for him to go on without this man by his side. Utterly impossible.

No. He couldn't let himself think that way. Ianto was human; eventually he would age and die, and he'd have no choice but to keep living. He couldn't decide to end his own life because he'd lost the person he'd mated with. That wasn't reasonable.

The Doctor's lips quirked in a wry smile as the words echoed in his mind. Since when had most of what he'd done ever been reasonable? Ianto had often said that one of the things he loved about the Time Lord was the fact that he was so unpredictable.

If anything happened to his lover, he would have to deal with it as best he could. But hopefully, he'd be able to keep Ianto from harm. He hadn't done a bad job of it so far -- even though he wasn't as successful at keeping himself out of harm's way.

Ianto apparently looked at that as his job. He was always here, to protect, to soothe, to comfort when it was needed. To fix him when he was broken. Like now.

At least it was just his body this time. He'd been beaten, bruised, and battered, to the point where he knew that even his resilient body was going to take a bit of time to heal. Much less than a human's would, but still, longer than normal.

He wasn't young any more, after all. Over 900 years. That wasn't ancient for a Gallifreyan, but he knew that he'd been lucky to survive this long. As many times as he'd come near to death, it was a miracle that he'd managed to cheat that spectre and stay alive.

Oh, his body looked young. But there were times when he felt every bit of his more than 900 years. Times when he felt worn down, both with age and with the responsibilities of who and what he was.

Ianto kept him young. Ianto made him feel as though he was invincible, that he could do anything. And he didn't want to lose that feeling, any more than he wanted to lose the all-consuming love that had finally come into his life after he'd waited so long for it.

He couldn't help smiling at the thought. With each regeneration, he seemed to become a little younger, in body if not in spirit. But Ianto had made him feel young in every way.

Even if he was feeling battered and broken now, he would heal. And if it happened again in the future -- well, he'd have Ianto there to help him pick up the pieces of himself and fit them back together again, for a long time to come.

When the time came for this era of his life to be over .... he pushed the thought firmly away from him, locking it down in the recesses of his mind. Time enough to think about that when it actually happened. It wouldn't be any time soon -- at least, he hoped not.

He was lucky to be here, to have someone in his life who loved him as deeply as Ianto did. Without that, he might have been much more badly broken than he was, and it might have happened long before now.

Wasting the time that they had together with worries about the future wasn't an option. He'd just have to learn to take it all one day at a time, even though that wasn't easy to do.

The Doctor turned over onto his back again, closing his eyes and slipping one thin hand under his pillow. The aches and pains in his body seemed lessened now that his mind was a bit more at peace; and within a few minutes, he'd fallen asleep beside his lover.

***