Title: Closer To Destiny
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Owen Harper
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, letter100
Prompt: 64, Destiny
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Owen Harper, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

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Dear Owen,

I know that writing letters may feel strange to you when we're in the same place, but this is so much easier for me at times. I can start a conversation without having to come up with those awkward opening words, when I'm not sure of what to say.

It's easier for me to talk to you about some subjects than it is to talk with other people. You've opened your heart to me about the losses in your past, and that makes it easy for me to talk to you about my own losses. I suppose that's one thing that draws me to you.

But it's not only that. There are so many reasons why I want you to stay here with me, and why I'm infiniately grateful that you decided not to go back to your life on Earth, either as a part of Torchwood or as a doctor.

You know how I feel about you. That goes without saying. But there are reasons other than loving you that make me want to keep you here. Not only because I don't want to be alone, but because I can't see my life going into the future without you.

I've never been one to believe in destiny. I've shrugged that away and scoffed at it so many times that I couldn't begin to count them. But ever since I was given the chance to rescue you from what you'd been condemned to, I've started to look at destiny in a different way.

Was it destined that I was to rescue you from that radiation, and spirit you away to New New York to be resurrected? I can't help but think that it was. It's not something that I would have considered doing if I hadn't been asked, but I'm glad that I did.

At first, I didn't believe that you and I would be companions, much less lovers. I was absolutely sure that you wouldn't want to travel amongst the stars, that your calling as a doctor would make you want to take up the threads of your life on Earth.

I won't deny that I felt a lot of regret over that. I wanted you to stay with me, as a companion if nothing else. But it didn't take me long to want you as more than a companion, though I was sure that you didn't feel the same way.

I'd have known better if I had looked into your mind, wouldn't I? Maybe I should have. It would have saved us a great deal of time, and we wouldn't have spent so long performing that civilized ritual mating dance that seems to exist in all cultures and species.

You seemed so far away from me during those first weeks we were together on the Tardis. I didn't think that you had any interest in me at all, as anything but a friend. And to be quite honest, there were times when I felt guilty about having you here.

I couldn't shake the idea that you would be happier back on Earth, working for Torchwood again, and that I was somehow making you feel that you had to stay with me out of gratitude. Perhaps that's why I may have seemed more than a little distant myself.

At the time, I was afraid to get too close to you, even though I wanted to very badly. I thought that you would eventually choose to leave, the way that all of my companions do, and I didn't want to give you my hearts only to have them broken.

That's happened too many times in the past, and I couldn't bear to deal with it again. I know that you'll have to leave me eventually, but having someone leave because of death is very, very different than having them choose to leave of their own free will.

It's always seemed to be my destiny to have my companions and my lovers leave me; I've thought for most of my life that I was fated to be alone. But now, I find my opinion of my own destiny changing, and I'm daring to think that I can hope for more.

Maybe I shouldn't do that. Maybe I should keep myself slightly apart, keep that knowledge in the back of my mind that everyone eventually leaves. It's an attitude that's hard for me to shake, especially after my somewhat stormy involvement with Jack.

I know, I know. You don't need to be reminded of Jack, or that I was involved with him. And really, neither do I. That was in the past, and whatever romantic feelings that I had for Jack are long gone, I can assure you of that. He's only a friend now, and will never be more than that again.

Besides, I've learned something rather important over the time that we've been together. Jack wasn't my destiny -- I knew that all along, even though I wanted desperately for him to stay with me. He wasn't the man who I was meant to mate with.

You are my destiny, Owen. You always have been. But before you were killed and brought back, before that terrible day when you almost died for a second time, you wouldn't have been able to see that -- and neither would I.

When I sat there at the side of the hospital bed watching you sleep, after the doctors of New New York had brought you back for a second time, I felt an attraction that I couldn't explain at the time. It seemed deeper than love, a primal attraction that I couldn't put a name to.

I know now that it was destiny drawing me towards you, bonding the two of us in a way that can never be broken. We may not have gone through the ceremony that my people do when they choose a mate, but we're bonded nonetheless.

Maybe it's because I sat there and literally watched you come back to life; maybe it's because I was the one who gave you the chance at that life. But whatever the reason, we've been brought together by a destiny that we've moved closer to with each passing day.

It's inevitable that we'll be parted one day -- but destiny has brought us to each other for a reason. We're meant to be together, Owen, and I know that even though you put up a front and pretend not to give way to your softer emotions, you believe that just as much as I do.

We may not have all the time in the world to be together, and some of the situations we manage to get ourselves into may shorten what time we have. But I intend to savour the time that destiny has given us -- and make every moment of that time count.

Your

Doctor

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