Title: Conversations in a Time Bubble
Author: sqyd
Characters: Ianto, Gwen
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Spoilers: End of DW s4, vague tw s1 and 2.
Word count: 700
Disclaimers: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters. If I did, I'd take better care of them.
Summary: What to do when stuck in a time bubble.
Set during DW The Stolen Earth and Journey's End.
Unbeta'd, sorry.
Notes: Just a quickie.

IANTO: That was a pretty stupid idea.

GWEN: What?

IANTO: "Going out fighting?" We were more likely to kill ourselves thanks to ricocheting bullets than put a dent into those Daleks. We could have just fallen back and taken out the mini-submarine. I have no idea how Daleks do underwater, but at least we would have a fighting chance.

GWEN: Well, I wasn't thinking, alright?

IANTO: Thank god Tosh was. God, I miss her. Even Owen a little.

GWEN: (rueful) Me too.


**********************

GWEN: So what are we going to do now?

IANTO: You could write all those overdue reports.

GWEN: The world might just be ending and you want me spend my last hours writing reports??

IANTO: Good point. There is a bottle of brandy in the conference room. I'll go and grab it.


**********************

Gwen sitting on the sofa, watching Ianto fussing around with something.

GWEN: (tipsy) You know, you do have a cute arse.

IANTO: (also tipsy) Channeling Jack does not become you.

GWEN: Sorry, hic!  Sometimes I don't think before I talk.

IANTO: Like when you told us how lonely and pathetic we all were, unlike you and Rhys - all that after shagging Owen and constantly making goo-goo eyes at Jack?

GWEN: You are a mean drunk, Ianto.

IANTO: Only when the world is ending.


**********************

(both pretty drunk)

GWEN: (despondent) I told him, you know.

IANTO: Who, what?

GWEN: Rhys about Owen. Then I retconned him.

IANTO: (confounded) That's really fucked up. And I thought you were the normal one.

GWEN: Hand me that bottle.


**********************

IANTO: (half way to sobering up) No Gwen, I'm not going discuss Jack's and my sex life with you.

GWEN: (still quite inebriated) I didn't mean it like that, but you are so buttoned up - I'm just curious how you are when you are err... unbuttoned. (giggles)

IANTO: (rolls eyes) I think you had enough to drink. (Attempts to take her glass away, but she hugs him.)

GWEN: C'mon Ianto! If you don't tell me I'll keep imagining you two doing wild things.

IANTO: (mumbles) Probably you wouldn't be far off.

GWEN: What?

IANTO: He likes to cuddle.

GWEN: Captain Jack Harkness, cuddle?!

IANTO: He especially likes it when I hold him as he falls asleep.

GWEN: He told me he didn't sleep!

IANTO: He does after sex. For a couple of hours anyway.

GWEN: I didn't figure him for a cuddler. He is just so... bossy.

IANTO: Not in bed.

GWEN: Awww! I think I've just acquired a whole new set of wild fantasies about you two.

IANTO: Great.

GWEN: God, I need more booze.

IANTO: Jack has a secret stash, but it's some very special stuff. He'll kill us if we get into it.

GWEN: Aw c'mon, it's the end of the world. It would just go to waste.

IANTO: (thinking) Fine! You are a very bad influence, you know.


**********************

(Both really, really sauced.)

IANTO: (trying to keep straight face and failing) It's not what you think.

GWEN: (giggling wildly) But it's naked?

IANTO: Hic! Most definitely,  but there is no actual hiding.

GWEN: Phew! I imagined you two running around the Hub naked. It would...

IANTO: ...look silly, I know.


**********************

GWEN: (eyes unfocused) Have you ever wondered why he wears a belt and suspenders?

IANTO: (slurred) All the time! Hic! It's most incon... inconvenient.

GWEN: I know! I know, I know... let me finish... He's afraid his trousers just, you know... have a mind of their own, and will drop whenever.

IANTO: Sentient trouser! I drink to that! (They clink glasses, spilling half their contents in the process.)

**********************

(Not quite so drunk any more.)

IANTO: And the answer is...

IANTO/GWEN: (in unison) BANANAS! (They fell over each other laughing.)


**********************



When Jack returned he was secretly expecting a hero's welcome, but the Hub was strangely quiet. Even stranger was the general mess and disarray. Ianto wouldn't... His heart started beating faster. When the Doctor contacted them from the TARDIS they were both fine! His hand reached for his Webley as he inched further into the Hub. Then he saw them piled on the sofa. He walked up to them, careful not to make much noise. They were slumped against each other, Gwen's head on Ianto's shoulder, slightly drooling, his head resting on hers, snoring softly. Jack leaned in and sniffed. The smell of alcohol hit him like sledgehammer. He smirked as he walked away, and still smirked when he returned with a blanket. He carefully tucked it around them.