Title: Damnit Ianto
Author: emeraldsage85
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I am so going to hell for writing this.
Disclaimer: I don't make any money from this. Torchwood belongs to RTD and the BBC.
Summary: Torchwood, Rocky Horror style, with Jack and Ianto as Brad and Janet. Crack galore.***
Jack: Hey, Ianto!
Ianto: Yes, sir?
Jack: I've got something to say.
Ianto: Yes?
Jack: I really liked the skilful way you beat the girls to Gwen's bouquet.
Ianto: Oh, Jack. *Rolls eyes*
Jack:
I've got a present for you, you know (Ianto)
It's tied up with a nice little bow (Ianto)
It's good for sex and a blow (Ianto)
I've one thing to say and that's damn it Ianto
I love you so
The weevils were mean but I let them go (Ianto)
Then I came to give you a strip show (Ianto)
I liked watching your cock grow (Ianto)
I've one thing to say and that's damn it Ianto
I love you so
Here's a cock ring to prove that I'm no joker
There's three ways that love can grow
That's good, bad, or mediocre
Oh, I-A-N-T-O, I love you so
Ianto:
Oh, it's exactly what we lack! (Oh, Jack)
Now we can get it on in the sack! (Oh, Jack!)
As long as we don't hurt my back! (Oh, Jack!)
I've one thing to say and that's Jack I'm mad
For you too
Oh, Jack
Jack:Oh, damn it.
Ianto:
I'm mad.
Jack:Oh, Ianto.
Ianto:
For you.
Jack:
I love you too.
Both:
There's one thing left to do ahooo
Jack:
And that's go see the pterodactyl who flew low (Ianto)
When we met in the warehouse so long ago (Ianto)
Made me give you the eye and then just know (Ianto)
Now there's one thing to say and that's damn it, Ianto
I love you so
Damn it, Ianto
Ianto:
Oh, Jack, I'm mad.
Jack:
Damn it, Ianto.
Both:
I love you.
Jack: Enough singing. Let's go back to your place.
Ianto: I'll drive.
Owen: I think I'm going to be sick. *Throws up*
Tosh: Well, at least if they're shagging they won't be singing anymore.
Gwen: Actually, I thought it was kind of cute. I wonder if Rhys would sing that with me.***
- Main Torchwood slash page
- New stories page
- Jack/Ianto stories
- Ianto/Owen stories
- Other pairings stories - ie threesomes
- F/F stories
- Gen stories
- Amazon.com - Torchwood: Children of Earth
- Amazon.co.uk - Torchwood - Children of Earth [DVD] [2009]
- Amazon.ca link - Torchwood - The Complete First Season (7DVD)