Title: Down and Out
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Table: 100moods
Prompt: 62, Melancholy
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor closed his eyes as he leaned back, settling himself more comfortably against the tree trunk. He and Jack hadn't been here for long, but he already felt at home in this forest glade; it was soothing and peaceful in a way that seeped into his soul.

It had been considerate of his lover to bring him here; he had been feeling melancholy lately, and though Jack hadn't mentioned it in so many words, his state of mind hadn't gone unnoticed. He couldn't help but wonder if Jack would bring it up, now that they were here.

He couldn't really say just why he'd been feeling this way; the melancholy seemed to have caught up to him when he least expected it. The strange thing was that he had no reason for the feeling; there wasn't anything in his life that he was sad about.

There was absolutely no reason for him to feel down. He had everything in his life that he could possibly want -- Jack was by his side, he had a companion and a lover who he could trust completely, who would never leave him. So why wasn't his soul singing with happiness?

He simply couldn't figure it out. He was used to doing a lot of soul-searching, especially in the time tha he'd been apart from Jack, but try as he might, he still couldn't come up with a concrete reason for the overwhelming melancholy that he'd been feeling lately.

Maybe it was simply because he wasn't used to having things go so well all the time. He and Jack hadn't run into any problems with the Master -- or with any of his other ancient enemies -- since they had been back together. And that in itself seemed odd.

Sighing, he tried to empty his mind, to not think about anything. If he could successfully do that, then maybe he could concentrate on the why of his feelings, without letting anything else get in the way. It was worth a try.

The Doctor gasped when a sudden shadow fell over him; his eyes flew open, and he raised a hand to shade them as he looked up. Jack was standing in front of him, a concerned look crossing his features as he looked down at the Time Lord.

"I'd ask you what's up, Doc, but that sounds so corny," he said softly, his blue gaze focused on the man sitting beneath the tree. "So instead of that, I'll just ask you what's wrong and if you feel like talking. But you don't have to talk if you don't want to."

The Doctor shook his head, moving over slightly to give Jack room to sit down beside him. He sighed softly and leaned his head against the tree trunk again as Jack did so, leaning against his lover as Jack slid a protective arm around his slender waist.

"I don't really know what's wrong," he admitted, feeling more than a little foolish as he said the words aloud. After all, he should know what was going on in his own hearts and mind, shouldn't he? "I've just been feeling very melancholy lately -- apparently for no reason."

"I've kind of noticed that, Doc," Jack said softly, his arm tightening around the Doctor's waist. "You don't know why you're feeling like this? Isn't there any reason you can think of? Like some kind of anniversary that's setting it off? Anything from the past?"

The Doctor shook his head, frowning as he did so. "No, it's nothing that I can bring to mind," he murmured, wishing that he had some concrete reason for his feelings. "I've tried to think of what could be making me feel this way, but honestly, Jack, I'm drawing a blank."

"I'm not," Jack told him, his voice still soft, but now with a slight edge to it. "This is the anniversary of the day I walked out on you. I'll always remember this day, for the rest of eternity. It's the day that I made the biggest mistake of my entire stupid life."

The Doctor blinked again, feeling as though he'd just been hit in the face by the proverbial ton of bricks. Jack was right; this was the anniversary of that fateful day that he had turned his back and walked out of the Tardis, changing both of their lives irrevocably.

"If I'd had any idea how much pain I'd be causing both of us, I would never have been so damn stupid," Jack continued, regret obvious in his voice. "But I remedied my mistake -- even if it did take me way too long to do it. And I"ll spend the rest of our lives making up for that."

"You've already made up for it," the Doctor told him, hoping that his sincerity in saying the words would come through in the tone of his voice. "Just by coming back to me, and by wanting to be a different person from who you were before when you couldn't be faithful to me."

"I'm sorry about that, Doc." Jack's blue gaze was fixed intently on his face; the Doctor could almost swear that his lover was looking directly into his soul as he spoke. "I regretted that from the second I left. I wanted to turn around and come back, but I had too much foolish pride."

"So did I, or I would have followed you and fallen on my knees and begged you not to leave," the Doctor told him with a wry smile. "We've both made mistakes, Jack. And I suppose that's the source of all the melancholy I've been feeling lately."

"Part of your subconscious mind is remembering how you felt on that day, I guess," Jack said with a sigh. "I'm sorry that I made you feel that way, Doctor. I can promise you with all my heart that I'll never do it again. I know where I belong now. And where I want to be."

The Doctor rested his head against Jack's shoulder, closing his eyes and feeling the melancholy start to seep out of him. Trust Jack to find the path to his inner feelings, as no one else could have. This man might know him better than he knew himself.

"I know who I want to be with," he murmured, his voice soft and loving. "And now that I know why I've been feeling the way I do, I know that there's no reason for me to feel this way. I'll always remember that day with regret, but that sadness doesn't have to stay with me forever."

"Put that sadness behind you, because it's not something you'll ever have to think about again," Jack told him, his breath warm against the Time Lord's cheek. "I'll never leave you again, Doctor. And I don't like to see you feeling so down and out."

The Doctor nodded, his dark gaze meeting his lover's blue one as the feeling of melancholy dissipated into the air. His hearts felt as though they were soaring; Jack's words had lifted him from the place that his emotions had been mired in, freeing him from an unpleasant feeling.

"Thank you, love," he whispered, raising his head to smile at his lover. "You're right -- that day is in the past, and there's no need for either of us to return to it. Let's keep it where it belongs and look to the future. I think there's going to a great one ahead of us."

Jack's answering smile let him know that the immortal fully agreed with him. Jack bent his head to capture the softness of the Doctor's mouth with his own; the kiss made the Time Lord's head spin and the breath catch in his throat, driving away all vestiges of any melancholy that might remain.

***