Title: Finding Heaven
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, 50ficlets
Prompt: 25, Heaven
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

This was his idea of heaven, Ianto thought with an inward smile, snuggling under the warm blankets of their bed next to the Time Lord. Only the Doctor could make him feel that complete satisfaction could be found in spending a morning in bed with his lover.

He'd never felt like that with anyone else in his life -- not even with Jack, and if he was honest with himself, the immortal had been his strongest emotional connection with anyone before he had fallen head over heels in love with the Doctor.

Even his relationship with Lisa hadn't been as intense as what he'd shared with Jack. But that had been more of an odyssey of discovery for him; Jack had been his first male lover, and he'd been finding out about himself in that relationship, rather than being comfortable with it.

He had questioned so much about what he felt for Jack, but he'd eventually found his answers. And now that he was in love with the person who was meant to be his soul mate, he knew that he'd found exactly where he belonged.

When he'd been with Jack, he had never had a chance to discover what it could be like to lie in bed all day with the man he loved. They had always been busy with things to do, and their relationship had taken a back seat to Torchwood.

That was one of the biggest regrets he had about being involved with Jack. Yes, he'd loved the immortal, and he'd known that Jack had cared about him, in his own way -- but he had never been as close to Jack's heart as he'd wanted to be.

He'd never been able to feel that he was Jack's heaven, that his boyfriend had thought about him in that sort of loving way, considering him a refuge. He'd been fun and games for Jack, but nothing more. Their relationship had been terribly one-sided, in some ways.

Had Jack really been his heaven? He'd wanted to think that for a while, but he'd slowly come to realize that it wasn't so, and never would be. So when Jack had told him that it was time for their relationship to end, he'd accepted it, and had moved on.

Ianto couldn't deny that he was glad that he'd been involved with the immortal. Jack had given him the experiences he needed to find himself, to discover what he really wanted. And without Jack, he would never have met the Doctor.

Without Jack, he would never have even known this incredible man existed; even though he was sure that the two of them had always been destined to be soul mates, he seriously doubted that they would have been able to find each other without the help of Torchwood.

He'd known from the first moment he kissed the Doctor that he had finally found his long-searched-for heaven. All he'd had to do was touch the Time Lord, look into those fathomless dark eyes, to know that this was where he'd always been meant to be.

And miraculously, the Doctor had felt the same way about him. He hadn't expected that; he'd been so sure that he would be expected to prove himself, to show in some way that he was worthy of the Doctor's love, worthy to stand by his side.

But there had been none of that. The Doctor had simply opened his arms and his hearts, and accepted Ianto into them as though he'd always been waiting for him. That acceptance had amazed Ianto, and at the same time, it had given him security and confidence.

No one else had ever accepted him so completely into their lives before. No one else had ever given him the sense of peace that he found when he held the Doctor, the feeling of safety and security that took him over when this man was in his arms.

He'd long since given up trying to find that heaven that he searched for; he hadn't known it with Lisa, and thinking of Jack in terms of "security" was something that could only make him laugh. With the Doctor, it was all possible, in the best of ways.

Not only did he have the security of knowing that he was where he belonged, but he was loved in a way that he'd never dreamed of being loved. The Doctor didn't just love him -- he needed Ianto, in the same way that Ianto needed the Time Lord.

The two of them completed each other; apart, they were puzzle pieces searching for the place where they were supposed to fit in. Together, they made the picture of their lives complete; they were a circle that had no beginning and no end.

The Doctor was indeed his heaven, Ianto thought, closing his eyes and relaxing against the pillows, the Time Lord resting comfortably in his embrace. There wasn't any other place he'd rather be than right where he was -- and no other person he'd rather be with.

***