Title: How to Make Deathly Situations Fun
Author: cameragirl
Pairings: Jack/Ianto with Ianto/Owen friendship
Rating: PG
Summary: Ianto & Owen make the best of working at Torchwood.

***

Rhys had been patched up & given a sedative. Gwen was holding him in the back of the Torchwood SUV that had been driven to the scene shortly after the chaos had ended. Owen and Ianto had dropped off the Harwood's Truck on the side of the road & taken their sleek SUV back to the scene for clean up.

Tosh was able to use one of her gadgets to make the space animal disappear completely. A short of waste eliminator that came in handy whenever Ianto needed to clean the pterodactyl nest. She did it as quickly as she could before Jack or Owen were able to stare at the dead mass with even more pity.

Owen had started to help Ianto tidy up the men, and force-feed the unconscious men their retcon. Ianto was used to doing it but was grateful for Owen's help. Owen didn't mention when he found a stun gun mark in the middle of one man's forehead, and Ianto wordlessly cleaned up the giant syringe Owen had used to carry out his mercy killing.

They were disposing of the whole of the contents of the medical room that wasn't really a medical room when Jack had come in.

"Everything ok?" he asked, looking at his two employees, searching their blank faces for something that was there, but was very well hidden.

They both nodded, not making eye contact and just waiting for Jack to leave.

"Are you ok, though?" Owen asked quietly when Jack had left the room. "I mean, this is the fourth time you've gotten held at gunpoint in the last month. It's got to take a toll, mate," He pointed out. "Although, you did your usual eye roll. You're lucky they didn't notice," He added quickly after an afterthought.

Ianto chuckled quietly. "I'm fine. Rolling my eyes was an accident. Sometimes it just happens when we're dealing with idiots, I can't help it. Did you have four times?" He asked, a sudden smile came across his face. Owen looked at him curiously before he caught the same grin. They both had completely forgotten about their bets.

Ever since Jack had left with his Doctor, Ianto and Owen had taken to placing bets on weekly or even monthly happenings on missions. How many times Tosh could say "cross-reference" in a day & how many times Gwen would call Rhys. The last time they had discussed bets, it was Ianto's nicknames, Ianto being held at gunpoint, Owen was going to try to flirt with aliens, and a final bet of could Owen be nice to Tosh without being sarcastic. The last bet was more Ianto trying to help out Tosh with her almost lovesick behavior and help Owen to not have such a cold heart.

Once they had become proper friends it was easier to help the other make of fun of himself. Owen would joke about how many times Ianto would go into Jack's office and Ianto would poke fun at the amount of times Owen would make a wrong diagnosis.

It hurt and helped at the same time. Ianto had tried to explain it to Tosh when she had questioned Ianto and Owen's sudden friendship. It was good to joke about the ridiculous aspects of their work life. When they found out they had things in common, the friendship had really taken off.

They had drowned their sorrows in beer and horrible, late night gore movies. It was then that a properly drunk Owen had slipped about his dead fiancé and about how he still blamed Jack for the death of his loved one. A not quite so drunk Ianto had decided to join in the confessions and admit that sometimes he still missed Lisa and tried hard to blame Jack.

Though this did not always work and it was quite hard for Ianto to be cross at Jack for anything. After getting over his initial shock that Ianto wasn't angry at Jack for leaving with his Doctor, Owen agreed that it was difficult to remain angry at Jack for anything but it didn't mean that Owen wasn't allowed to let his grudge resurface.

It was then that Owen became almost protective of Ianto whenever Jack was concerned and Ianto was certain not to encourage any teasing where Owen's feelings were due.

That is why, when Jack finally returned from his spur of the moment excursion, he was cornered by a serious Owen Harper who threatened him. He made sure Jack knew that none of them would stand for him teasing Ianto and yanking him around.

This confrontation led to Ianto, after cautiously accepting Jack's offer of a proper date, threatening to withhold any types of physical intimacy if Jack made an inappropriate joke or comment about Owen.

Both Owen and Ianto shook out of their thoughts and finished their retconning. When they were getting ready to leave, Owen handed Ianto a paper on which was written: I OWE YOU.

"I had six," He explained.

"Six what?" Jack asked, after just having come back into the room, Tosh with him this time.

Ianto was too concerned with Owen's response to even register Jack's question.

"Hang on, six? You intended on me getting held at gunpoint six times this month?" Ianto exclaimed.

"What's going on?" Jack interjected but they both still ignored him.

"Well, you have to admit. Four isn't that shabby, and it's awfully close to six. Only two off, you know," Owen said cheekily, causing Ianto to roll his eyes.

"Six what?" Jack asked again. He was finally answered by Tosh.

"Six times Ianto would be held at gunpoint," she explained simply. "They like betting, hopefully it's a phase," Tosh added, after seeing the look of confusion on Jack's face.

"How long have you two been betting on life and death situations?" He asked seriously.

His employees looked sheepishly at one another.

"I dunno, since you left," Owen reasoned. "Oi! That reminds me," He turned to Ianto. "What did you have for him this month?" He nodded his head towards Jack.

"For me? You took bets on me?" Jack's mouth hung open. He didn't know whether to burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of his team or just send them memos concerning gambling during work hours.

Ianto grinned at him before answering Owen. "I think I had three."

"Damn, I had four for this one! We've only got one so far," Owen counted it off with one finger.

"Don't worry the months not over yet, I'm sure I'll die at least a few more times," Jack told them sarcastically.

"Mmm, we weren't worried," Ianto responded nonchalantly.

***

Martha had left and the Torchwood team was back to operating as normal. Well, as normal as they could, seeing that their medic was dead. Still moving, talking, and annoying people but Owen Harper was definitely dead.

Owen was in his medical bay. He supposed he could still call it his medical bay, A dead person could own things couldn't they? Owen didn't feel the need to dwell on it any longer. Instead, he just watched his feet swing back and forth but looked up when someone walked down the steps.

"I owe you some money." Ianto grinned.

Owen gave him a tired smile. "You know I really can't do anything with it. What am I going to do? Use it to support myself? I don't need to eat."

"Dead people still need to pay rent." Ianto pointed out stiffly. "Especially since their landlord doesn't know their dead." He added as an afterthought and grinned at Owen.

"Where's my shirt?" The Welshman added.

Shrugging, Owen answered, "Can't be too sure. Left it somewhere. It's pretty much ruined."

"Suppose that can't be helped." Ianto said conversationally.

"Mmm" Owen agreed. And after a few seconds of silence. "You said you owed me something?"

"Yes, well." Ianto looked as though he was unsure with himself. "If you are still in, I owe you twenty."

"In? Twenty? What are you going on about?" Owen asked confused. He hadn't the slightly idea what Ianto was talking about.

Ianto pulled out a ratty notebook and opened up to a bookmarked page. Before reading allowed, he grinned at Owen again. "Well, you died correct? Not only did you die, but you got fired. Again." Ianto emphasized the last words.

"I don't remember making any bets on deaths!" Owen laughed out loud, appreciating the weirdness of the conversation.

"Yes, well, you were drunk." Ianto pointed out.

"But how the hell did we expect to receive payout if we were dead?" Owen mused.

"Torchwood." Ianto said simply. "Although, allow me to point out, that you are currently dead but still receiving your money."

"Point taken." Owen nodded, taking the money from Ianto and pocketing it. "I'm off now."

"Need a ride?" Ianto offered.

"Nah, you're not a chauffer. You'll end up coming back here afterwards," Owen looked around, "Is tomorrow a good day to decide some more?" He asked.

"More bets?"

"Yep."

Jack's voice interrupted whatever Owen's response would have been. "Sure, why not? I am, we only deal with aliens, we'll ask them to please keep it quiet tomorrow while you both place bets. You did get my memo didn't you?"

"Mmm dead people can't get memos."

"Myfanwy ate my computer."

Jack shook his head in silent laughter and decided to let the issue go…for now. "Coming Ianto?"

"In a minute, I need to lock up." Ianto replied. Jack nodded and went into his office.

Owen and Ianto walked in comfortable silence up to the tourist office.

"Night Ianto." Owen gave him a tired smile. "And…thanks. For everything."

"Of course. Good night." Ianto returned the smile and watched Owen walk away.

It was good to have his friend back, even if that friend was technically still dead. Ianto shook his head, he was shagging an immortal and one of his best mates was dead. Bloody Torchwood.