Title: Gift Horse
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5, 50episodes
Prompt: 31, King
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

"I'm still trying to get used to the feeling that I'm immortal," Ianto remarked to the Doctor as the two of them sat at the kitchen table. "It still feels like something that couldn't possibly happen to me. I don't think I've quite slipped into it yet."

"Maybe you should talk to Jack, and ask him how he learned to deal with it," the Doctor told him, frowning. "But I thought you already did that when we were at the Hub. At least, I thought that you had. If you'd like to go back so you can spend some time talking --"

But Ianto was already shaking his head, negating that idea. "I've already talked to Jack about how he felt. And I think his experience was very different from mine. He didn't have anyone to help him through it -- and he didn't really know what had happened for a while."

"That was my fault," the Doctor admitted with a sigh. "I shouldn't have gone off and left him there -- but I was so disconcerted by what he'd become that I was frightened by it. I wasn't prepared to deal with what he was, and that was wrong of me."

"It's different this time around," Ianto said gently, wishing that he could absolve the Time Lord of the guilt he felt over that particular incident. "You weren't involved with Jack then, and you didn't feel that you were doing the wrong thing by leaving him behind."

The Doctor nodded, the gesture somewhat reluctant. "True, but it was still wrong of me. I believed in the wrong person at the time. I should have realised that Jack was the one I should have been placing my trust in and have kept by my side."

"You're well rid of that childish nuisance, from what I've heard of it," said Ianto, making a face. "You're far better off as you are now -- and I'm sure that you can agree with me." He held out a hand across the table to the Doctor, hoping that they could change the subject.

"You're certainly right about that." The Doctor's smile told Ianto that the Time Lord was casting about for something else to say, and when he finally did speak again, the subject was completely different. "So, how does being immortal make you feel?"

"I-I'm not sure," Ianto said hesitantly. "It's not something that's easy to put into words. Jack said that it wasn't easy for him, either, so I suppose that's normal. Not that anything about becoming immortal could be possibly be called 'normal.'"

The Doctor had to laugh at those words, nodding in agreement. "There certainly isn't -- and at least you became immortal in a way that makes much more sense than what happened to Jack. And it was also less painful," he added, with a wink.

Ianto couldn't hold back a laugh at those words. "I know it was," he said, with a shudder at the thought of how Jack had become immortal. "But that doesn't mean that dealing with it is any easier. It's .... a strange feeling, knowing that I can't die."

"Most people would be happy to have that feeling, Ianto," the Doctor said softly, his gaze meeting the other man's and not looking away. "Are you saying that you regret it? Do you wish that it hadn't come to be? Because I'll be honest with you -- I wouldn't change it."

"Neither would I!" Ianto exclaimed, shaking his head vehemently. "I wouldn't want to go back to the days of knowing that my time with you is finite. I wouldn't change what's happened to us -- but I think even you have to admit that it's a bit unsettling."

The Doctor nodded, leaning back in his chair. "Yes, but probably much more so for you than for me," he pointed out. "After all, I'm .... well, literally immortal. There isn't an ending to my regenerations, Ianto. I can literally keep going until the end of time."

"So you've always known that you were immortal -- even though you're not always the same man," Ianto murmured, stunned by the Doctor's words. "I never thought of that. But .... since you're in a different body when you regenerate, doesn't that make you a new man?"

The Doctor sighed softly, shrugging. "Yes, in most ways. The personality that I have now, if all of this hadn't happened, would disappear when I regenerated. I'd still have all of my memories, and I'd still be the Doctor. But not exactly the same Doctor."

"I can't even begin to put into words how relieved I am that you aren't going to change," Ianto whispered, reaching across the table to take both of the Time Lord's hands in his own, gripping them tightly. "I couldn't have borne to lose you. Not ever."

"Well, now you won't," the Doctor told him with a smile. "Ianto, don't hold me so tightly, love. I'll lose the feeling in my hands if you keep this up." He laughed softly as his lover hastily released his hands, gazing across the table at the younger man.

"What does being immortal make you feel like?" Ianto asked, his gaze fixed on the Doctor's face. "You've never really told me that. I know it's probably hard to put into words, but I believe it's easier for you than for me, because you're more used to it."

"I don't know, really," the Doctor said, a slight frown creasing his brow. "There aren't any words for us to describe immortality, are there? I know that some people would say that it makes them feel powerful, but I don't think that's how I feel at all."

"I think the first phrase that popped into my mind to describe it was that I felt like the king of the world," Ianto said, his voice soft with wonder. "That I felt as though nothing could hold me back, and that I could accomplish anything I wanted to -- now that I have all the time in the world."

The Doctor nodded slowly, agreeing with his young lover. "I suppose that could be an accurate way to describe the feeling," he said slowly, as if he was turning Ianto's words over in his mind. "In fact, that may probably the best description I've heard."

"I keep telling myself that it's probably not a good way to feel -- and that I should be careful of something that came to me so unexpectedly," Ianto murmured, averting his eyes from the Doctor's. "I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but --"

"But it still seems strange to you that we should be granted something that means so much to both of us, out of the blue, as it were," the Doctor finished for him, the slight frown back on his face. "I've been thinking along those lines too, believe me."

"I don't want to seem ungrateful," Ianto told him, feeling guilty that he was making the Doctor question all that had happened to them, everything that seemed like an answer to their hopes and dreams. "But it's just so -- so sudden and so unexpected."

"Looking gift horses in the mouth is one of my specialties, Ianto," the Doctor told him, shaking his head and laughing wryly. "I've been told that I'm far too cynical at times, and that I never believe in anything. But at the same time, I've also been told that I'm too trusting, so ...."

His words trailed off, making Ianto reach over to take his hand again, more gently this time. "Don't worry about it, Doctor. For whatever reason this gift was given to us, I doubt that it's a returnable one. So we're going to have to get used to it."

"Well, you know that you're the king of my world," the Doctor told him, returning the pressure of Ianto's hand on his. "You have been since the moment we met. Whether you're immortal or not, you'll always rule my world, Ianto."

"And you rule mine, Doctor. You always have, from the first moment I laid eyes on you." Ianto stood up, moving to the Doctor's side of the table and holding out his arms for the Time Lord to stand up as well and come into his embrace.

Wrapping his arms around the Doctor, Ianto drew the Time Lord close against him, feeling happier than he had when he'd first started this conversation. He wasn't going to question this gift horse, he told himself firmly. There was really nothing to question, was there?

They'd both been given something that they'd wanted -- and maybe even needed. And even if the Master had been the cause of this, and he hadn't intended to bestow these gifts upon them, then the tables had turned in their favor, and he wasn't going to argue with that.

Whatever had brought this good fortune into their lives, he was going to stop worrying about it. After all, he now had the Doctor by his side for eternity. His dreams had all come true, and no matter what might come later, he intended to enjoy them to the fullest.

***