Title: Go To Pieces
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: R
Table: 1, 50ficlets
Prompt: 12, Pieces
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor turned over onto his back in his bed on the Tardis, gritting his teeth to keep from screaming. His body still ached from his recent encounter with the Master, though he was slowly recovering from that physical aftereffects.

He was on his way back to the 20th century -- to Jack's time. To Cardiff. He didn't know why he felt the need to go there, but he did. Maybe it was just because he knew that he'd be close to Jack, at least close as far as actual distance was concerned.

Of course, he wasn't going to actually go to the Hub and see his former lover. Not in the condition he was in. That would only make Jack feel guilty -- or it would provoke a storm of scolding, of Jack telling him all the reasons that he shouldn't go charging into conflict with the Master.

Seeing the guilt in Jack's expression, or being yelled at. He didn't know which was worse.

He finally managed to find a position flat on his back that didn't make him ache as much as any other position he could be in, and stared up at the ceiling, wide-eyed and sleepless. How much easier it would be if he could lose himself in sleep, if only for a little while.

But that wasn't possible. No, he would lie here and suffer the aches and pains of his healing body, and think of Jack.

This probably wouldn't even have happened if Jack was still his companion. He'd have avoided the Master, instead of rushing into a situation that he knew the other man would be drawn to. That was his own fault, his own stupidity, as Jack would say.

He didn't even have to ask himself why he did things like this. It was because his instinct for self-preservation seemed to fade more with each regeneration -- especially now that he didn't have anyone in his life who was special to him.

Well, that was a lie, really. Jack would always be part of him, his hearts and soul. But Jack wasn't with him any more. Jack had chosen to walk away.

And he would probably continue to drag himself back to the place where his former lover resided, to try to put the pieces back together every time they were torn away from him.

What would Jack think if he showed up now? There was no telling. He'd probably do what the Doctor had already thought of -- but he would more than likely also want to take care of him, and give him a safe place to stay until he walked back into the Tardis and left again.

And he would leave. He was honest enough with himself to know that he would. As much as he loved Jack and wanted to be with him, to resume their relationship, he wasn't going to stay on Earth. He couldn't.

He had responsibilities. He couldn't turn his back on who and what he was. And in his own way, so did Jack, though he had the luxury of choice that the Doctor didn't have.

The Doctor winced as he shifted slightly, a particularly sore spot on his back irritated by the abrupt movement. He couldn't present himself to Jack like this anyway, even if he wanted to. He was in no shape to let anyone see him.

And besides, he didn't want to be taken care of, not really. He didn't want it pointed out to him that he'd been a little foolish to go rushing into a situation without having anyone to watch his back. He'd been lucky to get out of there alive, and he knew it.

He'd have to put the pieces back together himself this time. It was time he stopped relying on Jack for that. Or, for that matter, relying on anyone. That kind of dependence should have ended long ago, and never started again.

But he'd allowed himself to be weak with Jack. It was time for that weakness to be ecised from his life, cut away ruthlessly and efficiently.

Only he couldn't do it. He knew he couldn't. Jack was too much a part of him. Even when he was in pieces, physically and emotionally, he still felt the need to lay those pieces at Jack's feet and let the other man do with them what he would.

The Doctor sighed again, closing his eyes and giving in to the inevitable. He'd go back to Earth,. yes. To Cardiff. And back to the Hub. He'd see Jack. And he'd tell the other man how he felt. He couldn't keep fooling himself into thinking that he could walk away.

It was time to let those pieces be put back together. By the one person who could do it.

***