Title: The Hands of Fate
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 3, letter100
Prompt: 58, First Sight
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

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Dear Ianto,

It's strange that I'm always writing you letters when you're right here on the Tardis with me, isn't it? I suppose it's because I love to see your face light up when you find them -- and then to see the blush creep over your skin as you're reading.

I've never said anything in these letters that should make you blush like that, have I? I don't think so, but I can't be sure. I know there's nothing racy in them! So I can only assume that it's the feeilngs I've expressed that bring that pink blush to your face.

I love seeing it. I love knowing that you like reading what I have to say. And I know that sometimes I don't put those sentiments into words often enough -- so I make sure that you know how I feel in words that I might have a hard time saying.

It's not that I don't want to say those words. You know I do. But I've never been an eloquent man, at least not where my feelings are so deeply involved.

From the first time I met you, those feelings for you have been so strong that they've overpowered me. I still feel overwhelmed sometimes when you look at me, knowing that such an incredible man has chosen to spend his life with me.

There are times when we're in bed, when you're making love to me and looking down at me with such a look of devotion on your face that I wish I could hold that moment in my memory forever, that it would never fade away from my mind's eye.

And there are moments when I look at you as you're sleeping, the moonlight or the dim silvery glow of the Tardis' inner light illuminating your face, and I find it hard to believe that you're with me, that you're real, and not just some figment of my overactive imagination.

But it's not my imagination. It's reality; you're here with me, and you've wrapped me in a love that I never thought I could have, a love that I'm grateful for every day of my life. I've never felt so safe and secure as I do with you -- or so cherished.

I think I knew that you were the one from the first time I saw you. It was only a glimpse when I was in the Hub, but there was an attraction between us that I couldn't deny.

I didn't even know if you'd seen me then. All I could think of for days afterwards was you -- Jack had told me your name, but I had the feeling that he was very protective of you at the time. I didn't know if you were together or not.

It took me a while to find out that you had been, but that your relationship had ended. And even then, I didn't dare let myself hope. I was too afraid of being let down yet again, of giving my hearts to someone who would walk away like all the others.

That was a mistake. If I had been bolder from the beginning, how much time we would have saved! We would have been together longer, and I'd have had more time with you. But that's as it is; we're together now, which is the important thing.

That first glimpse I had of you .... I'll always remember it. Your face was fixed in my mind, like a beacon that I couldn't help but gravitate towards. I wish that Jack had introduced us then, instead of keeping me in the dark for weeks about who you were.

"A team member," that was all he told me. As though that would satisfy my curiosity, or take away the driving need I had to be close to you.

Then, when I came back and saw you again -- and you began leaving those flowers and notes in the Tardis before I knew that it was you doing it -- I only wanted to be with you more. It was a bit of a shock to find out that you felt the same way.

What would I have done if you hadn't felt the same way? I don't know. Probably have gone off to a distant planet and licked my wounds, and dreamed of what might have been. I'd have found another companion -- though not a lover.

I don't want to think about what I would have done. If it had come to that, I know that I wouldn't be happy; I'd be living, existing, but I wouldn't know the contentment that you bring me. There would still be an empty space inside of me that would never be filled.

You've filled that space in a way that no one else ever could, Ianto. And from the first time I saw you, I knew that you would. I knew that you belonged with me, and that I was meant to be yours. I never doubted it, not in my hearts.

My mind might have made some protests, but that was only my consciousness trying to protect me from more hurt, more loneliness. My hearts told a different story.

And now .... here we are, as I believe we were always meant to be. You by my side, traveling the galaxy with me. Of all the companions I've ever had, you're the first one who's also been my lover -- and you'll be the last.

I can't conceive of ever being this close to anyone else. I can't even imagine that I would ever want to travel with anyone else after you. No one else could ever bring me this closeness -- and no one else could ever be a part of me in the way that you are.

But I won't think of that. Our parting is far, far in the future, my love, and it's not something that either of us need to brood on now. You and I will have a long life ahead of us, together, in spite of the dangers that will inevitably be throw into our path.

You've been my soul mate from that first glance -- even though I didn't know it then, and at the time, you had no idea that I existed. But somehow, that only seemed to bring us closer to each other, to cement the knowledge that we would meet and be as one.

I've never been one to believe in the hands of fate. But in our case .... I think fate has brought us to each other. For once, fate has been kind rather than cruel.

I hope it will keep doing that. But even if it doesn't, I know that fate has given me everything that I could possibly ask for in this life -- or in any other. And I hope that we'll both continue to feel that way for a very long time to come.

Your

Doctor

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