Title: Hope There's Someone
By: Gerodie Phoenix
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, mentions of the Doctor/Rose
Rating: PG
Note: First Torchwood fic in a long while so I may be a little out of practice. I preemptively apologise for it potentially sucking.
Spoilers: Post Journey's End. Spoiler alert.

***

He’s wide awake, unable to sleep as the light from the street lamps filters in through the crack in the curtains. His mind is racing and regardless of where he is, of the one he’s with he can’t stop thinking about another. Another lost soul out there, wandering aimlessly looking for something, needing something to pull him from the loneliness of his existence.

“Jack?” He asks groggily, his eyes not quite open, hearing the low sigh coming from him. He knows why he’s awake, why Jack Harkness is so tormented and unable to give himself to sleep. He sees the pain in his eyes, a tremendous sense of guilt emanating from him anytime he looks at the younger man and Ianto knows there is little he can do to take away his pain, to make the guilt go away.

“You’re looking at the stars again, aren’t you? There aren’t many out there tonight Jack.”

“Hey nice to know they’re still there, better than the darkness or the sight of 27 planets in the sky.”

“That is true. You stopped that.”

Jack does not answer, feeling as if he does not deserve any credit for what had been stopped at The Crucible, all credit he feels owed to the lost traveler he can not shift his thoughts from. Looking at Ianto, having him there to be his security in the dead of the night he feels undeserving, as if such a gift has been bestowed upon the wrong immortal. He hopes there is someone out there, someone who can find the Doctor and bring him back from the brink, just as Ianto has for him. Jack has felt that loneliness once, that loss that came with it and deep down he knows that the man who has once more saved the world does not deserve to know that feeling. He knows instinctively Rose is not with him and something in his mind screams Donna is nothing more than another painful memory that the Doctor is left with, an all too real image to remind him that he had once not been so alone.

“I didn’t. He did. And now, he saved all those people Ianto…but he can’t save himself. I can protect you and Gwen and we fight and we’re lucky because we have something that makes it worth it, something we can all find comfort in the darkest of hours. But he doesn’t, and no matter how many damn times he saves this little planet he’s always alone, he never has what we have.”

“You feel guilty? Is that it?” He asks quietly; almost afraid to hear the answer as if knowing Jack feels guilt for having some small amount of happiness will break his heart in two. He knows that pain himself, that feeling of being so undeserving of something so good, and no amount of time can make him forget about his own loss that had almost broken him.

“I don’t deserve this. Being here, being with you and seeing the things I see because of you, because of Gwen. If I had stayed with him, if I was there then he wouldn’t be alone. But then I wouldn’t have what I have now.”

“You survived without us before Jack, I’m certain you could do it again.”

“That’s the thing Ianto, I don’t think I could. I told you before if I just stayed in one place I would have never seen the things I have, loved the people I have and I mean it. This planet is like a drug, it’s addictive and quitting is extremely difficult.”

“And what about him? When does the guilt on your part end then?”

“I don’t think it does. Maybe it just gets better. If I found someone he has to, he’s the Doctor after all. He’s brilliant.”

“As are you Jack.”

***