Title: Four Hypervodkas
By: Jessie Blackwood
Pairing: Jack/other males
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Characters owned by RTD and the BBC. I don’t own any of it, except maybe the idea for the story, etc. etc. etc., no infringement of copyright intended, no money being made, etc, etc. Just love them, just playing with them, like everyone else here. Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Warning: Explicit, M for adult theme. Jack with just a little bit of slash/Swearing
Summary: What did happen after Jack was sentenced to death, had four hypervodka's for breakfast and woke up with his executioners?

Lovely couple, they kept in touch…

Jack woke up with a raging headache. He actually, if he was honest, ached all over. His mouth felt like something had crawled in there and died. He felt sick, his eyes felt too large for his skull, or his skull felt as if it had shrunk, he wasn’t sure which. The thing he was most aware of, however, was that he was alive. That was a disappointment.

* * *

Jack was resigned to the fact that there was no way out of this. He had come to the end of the line. Tried one con too many and been caught, been careless and tried it on the wrong person. It was all over, he was sentenced and awaiting execution. Boy but this planet was unforgiving. He looked disinterestedly at the bars of his prison. They were backward enough to need bars, and their methods of despatch…he shuddered. Torn apart by being chained to two hulking quadrupeds being driven in opposite directions…that was going to hurt.

“What do you want for your last breakfast?” came the disinterested question later that day.

Jack (he had always been Jack, whatever name he had chosen to go by) looked up and grinned weakly “A way out?” he suggested.

“Funny man. You get anything you want, within reason, so what’ll it be?”

“Last meal huh?” Jack shrugged. Maybe something to dull the pain and make him too far gone to be scared. “Four hypervodkas.” He said, watching the man’s expression.

“Four? What’re you trying to do, poison yourself?” Jack shrugged and waited and the guard shrugged “Your funeral.” He grinned at his own joke and walked off, muttering about the foolishness of the condemned.

“My, you’re cute.” The comment came from outside the cell and Jack looked up and frowned at the woman who stood beyond the bars. She was dressed an a grey jumpsuit which was belted at her slender waist and her hair was blond and piled on her head in an elaborate cascade. She looked more like a model than a prison warder. She was joined by a man, both of them attractive and, like their countrymen, diminutive in stature. Jack was six feet in height, an average human male for his time, these guys were little over five and a half feet tall at best. The woman was a little less than five feet maybe. She stood with hands on hips, tilted her face up and her deep brown eyes fixed him with a look.

“Don’t you think he’s cute?” she asked the man and he nodded, eyeing Jack up and down, openly admiring.

“Well guys, sorry to disappoint you but I have a date with death tomorrow…”

“We know.” The woman said “I’m Evie and this is Davyn, my husband. We’ll be your executioners tomorrow.”

That was a conversation stopper. Jack looked at the couple and sighed. Any other time he might have considered chatting them up, they were not bad looking, either of them. Somehow, though, he wasn’t in the mood.

“Aw, come now.” Evie was saying “Things might not be that bad…”

“Believe me, I have no idea how they could get any worse right now.” Jack sank into his seat and stared at the floor.

“So, what did you do to earn the High Command’s wrath? Murder an official? Rape someone?”

“I’m a con man.” The admission was not one he wanted to make. He was a fraud and they were going to kill him for it. He hadn’t even killed anyone this time.

“So who did you con? The First Minister?”

“The Chief of Security.”

“Oooo, you know how to pick them.” The man said.

“What did you do? Sell him his own ship?”

“Almost. I stole a work of art in his collection and sold it back to him. The stupid bastard didn’t even realise what was in his own collection. It would have worked too...”

“…if the Chief of Police hadn’t been there and he recognised it…” she added. "He is the Chief of Security's brother after all..."

“So you know then. Why ask me if you knew?”

“Breaks the ice, makes for conversation? Believe me, no love lost there. They’re brewing for a coup and when they do, we’ll be there.”

“Too bad I won’t be around.”

“You never know. See you tomorrow Sweety, get a good night’s sleep, there’s a love.”

* * *

Jack sat there glazing at the glasses in front of him, trying to remember what he was supposed to do. Two were empty and two were still full. Oh yes, drink the third one. That was it. He reached out and tried to focus on the tall glass. The first one had been good. He had knocked it back, feeling the fiery trail of the liquor burn its way down to his stomach and settle warmly inside him, just as he remembered. Whoever had mixed these knew their stuff. He made a mental note, which he promptly forgot, to send his thanks and appreciation to the…the guy who had made them. He reached out and took hold of the third glass. He knew he had to drink it but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember why. He raised it to his lips and tipped it back. The second had been as good, washing over his tongue and down his throat, an alcoholic haze settling over his senses, numbing feeling and disconnecting his brain. The third one added a happy feeling of weightlessness to the whole and he lay down, finding something to giggle about. He blinked at the tray with three empty glasses and one full one. Can’t have that, he thought, one full one. Whose was it? He blinked blearily around, looking for anybody lurking in the corners of the room but there was nobody else there…oh well, finders keepers…he reached for it. The fourth one slid down a throat gone numb and into a brain that didn’t remember his own name or where he came from or anything else, for that matter. Although he didn’t know it, his choice of breakfast had achieved the desired result.

“Will you look at that?” Evie said, gazing through the bars at the sleeping man. She went in and tried to wake him, to no avail. She sniffed a glass and frowned “Hypervodkas.” She confirmed.

“Come on, lets get on with it.” Davyn said gently “He won’t know what’s happening anyway.”

* * *

And so to the feeling of disappointment that he was still alive. The drinks hadn’t worked then. Either that or they had cruelly decided to wait until he regained consciousness before subjecting him to pain and torment. He lay back, closed his eyes and cursed. He really had wanted to be out of it when they executed him…

“Good morning Sweet thing.” Said a familiar voice. He turned to see Evie in bed beside him.

“I suspect…” Davyn said, from his other side, “…that you are not feeling your best?”

“Oh Crap!” he swore and closed his eyes.

“Don’t fret Lover.” Evie said, leaned over and kissed him. Surprised, he opened his mouth to the kiss. Then she drew back and popped a little pill in under his tongue. It dissolved before he could react, then he swore at the bitter taste and grimaced. “What was that?! You poisoned me?”

She laughed “No, no, its just to cure that hangover. Go to sleep now.” and his eyes sagged shut and his body relaxed and Evie and Davyn shared a small smile over his prone body.

When he next woke, he felt much better. He was thirsty and tired but his head had ceased to ache and so had the rest of him. He was alone in the big bed and sighed, wondering what the hell had happened. Minutes later the door opened and Evie came in, closely followed by Davyn. They both flopped on the bed and sighed.

“Hard day?” Jack asked, conversationally.

“You don’t want to know.” Evie said. On balance, Jack thought, he probably didn’t.

“If I may be so bold as to ask, why am I still alive?” he enquired.

Evie rolled over and grinned “Well Sweetheart, in our job, we have perks.”

“One of which…” Davyn added “…is our pick of the prisoners.”

“And you’re it.” Evie said, sitting up. “We’re allowed three a year. You just happen to be No 2. Oh, don’t worry, we never free murderers or rapists or the violent kind, we’d be just plain stupid to do that…” she was disdainful. “…but you, you’re cute and you’re harmless…”

“Wouldn’t say that exactly…” Jack frowned.

“Well, you’re not a killer, not this time anyway.” She grinned at him. He flashed her one of his own. “And you pulled a fast one on the powers that be, we like that.”

“But…” Davyn added “...there’s a price.”

“Isn’t there always?” Jack responded “OK guys, lets have the bad news…what do I have to do to secure my release? Kill someone? I have to warn you I'm not much good as an assassin...”

“Well, I would have thought what we wanted was obvious, given where you are, but if you insist on being dense, I’ll tell you.” Evie said, leaning over and planting a kiss on his cheek. Then she whispered conspiratorially in his ear “We get to have sex with you. Simple, isn’t it?”

“Aha, I see now. Well, when you put it that way, yes, it is. Can I go free afterwards then? Or are you just going to throw me back in the cell…?”

“Heavens no, how could you think that?” Evie pouted at him “That would be just plain ungrateful.” She leaned in close and he felt a delicate hand clasp around a certain part of his anatomy through the blankets. “Although…” she said thoughtfully “…we wouldn’t mind if you stayed a while…” He moaned as her touch tightened and closed his eyes. She giggled and released him. “We can be very generous.” She assured him, then became brisk.

“I think a shower is in order first, after all, you’ve been in that awful cell for days.” And she dragged him out of bed and towards the door.

He succumbed to the fast hot jets of the shower without complaint, gratefully cleansing himself of several days in a damp and dirty cell. The bathroom was huge, its tiled floors bearing a large stone bath tub as well as the shower. “My, you do scrub up well.” She said on seeing him emerge. "And you smell...ooo, gorgeous." Davyn’s eyes were openly admiring as he came back into the bedroom. The man was already in bed, clothes neatly piled on the chair.

“So, how do we work this?” Jack asked.

“Get into bed and find out.” He said, flipping back the covers. Jack got in and slid next to the man, fitting his body next to him. Davyn sighed as the warmth from Jack's skin hit him and he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close for a kiss. They were thus engaged when Evie came back and Jack felt her slide in behind him, her soft breasts pressing against his back. Davyn’s tongue explored his mouth, his hands roamed down Jack's ribs. Jack moaned into their kiss again, thrusting against Davyn’s touch. Evie kissed his neck and shoulders, her delicate teeth biting gently. Jack was rolled onto his back, aware he was the one seduced, unable to do anything else but respond. It was obvious they worked as a team very well and they must have done this countless times. Jack wondered why they had picked him, then dismissed the thought. They had, that was all he cared about. He wasn’t dead. He was having what promised to be mind-blowing sex instead, always the better option.

At the height of it, a sheen of sweat covering his skin as he thrust hard into Evie's delectable body, with Davyn pressing close behind him, Jack was once again slightly amazed at his luck. Then he dismissed it, junking the thoughts as unproductive. He knew he was good between the sheets and his features were considered handsome on most planets. Once he got 'em to notice him, the rest was easy. Luck probably had nothing to do with it. He grinned and leaned down to kiss Evie, pressing back against Davyn, hearing the man's throaty growl as he did so. Oh yes, I'm good alright, he thought. They may have set out to seduce him, but he had clinched the deal.

They collapsed in a heap in the bed, gasping and breathing hard. Jack wrapped him arms round both of them, drawing them close, to rest their heads on his shoulders. Evie curled into him and Davyn lay alongside and they slept, exhausted. Jack grinned. They were a lovely couple really. He had been subjected to much worse in his time. These two were angels by comparison.

* * *

“Keep in touch” Jack said, getting on the transport that would take him away from this little mudball. All foreigners were being shipped off, due to an impending situation wherein the powers that be had called a state of Marshall Law and suggested visitors leave while they still could. His papers were in order, his belongings returned and he had spent the last five days in an almost perpetual state of bliss. Evie and Davyn waved to him as he left, and he really hoped they would be alright.

* * *

“So, the coup was successful?” Jack asked, seated at the communication bay in the café on the next planet out from Evie and Davyn’s.

“Oh yes, it was completely.” Davyn said with a grin and Evie laughed “We’ve retired though, we’re running a coffee shop now, much more interesting.”

“Good. Glad its all worked out for you.”

“It has, and thank you Jack, it was a mind blowing few days.”

“Thank you. I’d be not half the man I was if you hadn’t chosen me…” he grinned.

Evie laughed and Davyn snorted at the joke. “You take care Jack, call us if you’re in town.”

Jack sat and thought about it afterwards and decided that one more good con should see him fixed for life. Then he could give it up. People like Evie and Davyn were few and far between. Who knew who he would run into next… He sipped his coffee and smiled, wondering what the future held…