Title: Ianto’s Problem
By: amuly
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Tosh, Owen as characters
Word Count: 2,428
Rating: R
Summary: Ianto has a problem. A sexy problem, but not in these circumstances.
Warnings: Exhibitionism, extensive dirty talk. Basic stuff.
A/N: Okay, seriously. Need to finish thesis. I’ve only got 2 weeks of college left! But fuck me sideways if this fic didn’t grab hold of my brain and refuse to let go.

            Ianto had a problem. A rather embarrassing problem. A rather embarrassing problem, which was growing larger. A problem, specifically, in his pants.

            The thing was, it wasn’t like Ianto hadn’t had this particular problem before. He had: many, many times. Working with Jack Harkness, particularly sleeping with Jack Harkness, tended to cause this problem on a regular basis. But usually, it was because of something: losing a bet and having to walk around with anal beads inside of him all day; losing a bet and having to walk around with a remote controlled vibrator inside him all day; it being Jack’s birthday and having to walk around in silky pink pants all day, just for him. But never before had this problem…arose…for no reason at all.

             Ianto stayed at the coffee machine, turned resolutely away from the others. If he could just sit down – or better yet, grab Jack and fuck him furiously in the archives, or the vaults, or anywhere just to get rid of it – it wouldn’t be such a problem. Hell, he would settle for being able to go to the bathroom and wank off quickly. But no, here he was, faithful, dutiful Ianto, making coffee, and about to pass out the coffee, stuck with a hard on.

            Fuck.

            Ianto pondered his situation as he stirred sugar into Owen’s coffee. He couldn’t very well tell the others to just come over and get their own coffee. For one, it would arouse suspicion. For another, it would bring the other members of the team over to him, and one or more of them might notice what was going on. Ianto shifted where he stood, trying to subtly adjust the erection jutting out proudly in his trousers. Damn it all to bloody bollocks.

            Ah, but wait a second. Ianto slid his gaze over to Jack’s office, trying his best to keep his body, especially the lower half, facing the coffee machine. If he could just catch a glimpse…yes. Jack had his com on. Ianto glanced around the rest of the Hub. He couldn’t see Owen, but he usually didn’t have his coms in. Gwen had the day off with Rhys: shouldn’t have her com in. And Tosh…bollocks. Ianto could only see one of her ears. It didn’t have a com in it, but her other ear might.

            “Hey, Tosh?” Tosh turned toward Ianto. Success. No com in her other ear.

            “Yeah Ianto?”

            “Oh, sorry, never mind. Thought I misplaced the creamer.” Ianto smiled weakly and held up the creamer. Tosh smiled and turned back to her computer. Ianto smiled and turned back to his coffee. Perfect. Jack could save him from this.

            “Jack?” Ianto tapped his ear, whispering into the com. He saw Jack’s head jerk behind his desk.

            “Ianto? What are you-”

            “Jack, don’t speak too loud. Just listen for a second, alright?”

            Jack’s voice dropped down to a whisper. Ianto could see his head duck down in his office, as if he were crouching down at his desk, conspiratorially.  

            “Com sex? Ianto, there could be others…”

            “No, Jack, listen. I have a…problem.”

            “Problem? Is it a sexy problem?”

            Ianto rolled his eyes. “Not as such. Not right now, anyway.” Ianto glanced over at Tosh, who didn’t seem to be taking notice of him. “It’s…I have a hard on. But, I need to pass out the coffee. Can you save me? Send Owen and Tosh out of the Hub, or down to the vaults or something?”

            Jack’s laughter was loud and abrupt, causing Tosh to turn and look at his office. She turned back to Ianto with a questioning look. He shrugged, trying to look innocent. As innocent as he could sporting an obscene hard on.

            “Jack, please, this is serious. I can’t pass out the coffee like this, and Tosh is going to get suspicious if I just stand here for another twenty minutes trying to will it away.”

            “Sorry, sorry. Why don’t you just come in here and…”

            “I can’t! Tosh is sitting right there, and I’d have to pass by Owen, who as soon as he sees me is going to ask for coffee, and then notice.”

            “Hm…” Ianto could picture the exact expression on Jack’s face. It wasn’t a good one. It was a smiling, scheming one. Shit. He should never have told Jack... “Why are you hard?”

            Ianto sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Dunno. I was just making coffee, and my damned…”

            “You were thinking about last night, weren’t you?” Ianto stifled a groan, glancing over at Tosh again. It wouldn’t do for him to collapse in a near-orgasmic puddle at the coffee machine. Last night had been…bloody hell…“You were thinking about pounding into me on the coffee machine, weren’t you? The cups rattling, the smell of coffee…you know, they say smell is the strongest memory link. You smelled the coffee, and got all hot and bothered thinking about it. I’m right, aren’t I?”

            Ianto shifted and turned toward the coffee machine even more. Bollocks bollocks bloody hell bollocks. Jack’s voice, pitched lower than normal – pitched the way he sounds when he’s begging me to shove my cock…shit. – was practically caressing his arousal, firming it, making him even harder than he was before. “Hey Ianto, you know what I’m doing right now?”

            “Three guesses, and the first two don’t count, right?” Ianto would roll his eyes, but they were busy dilating at the thought of Jack, barely twenty meters away, stroking himself under his desk.

            “Mm. Ianto, you know you were so hot last night? All sweaty from cleaning the machine, sleeves rolled up, waistcoat unbuttoned. And then you made me that delicious cup of coffee, and I just couldn’t help but lick at the sweat trickling down your neck, to your collarbone and clavicle…”

            Ianto squeezed one of the handles of the coffee machine so tight that his knuckles turned white. “Jack, please…”

            “And then you were so fierce, Ianto. Growling, spinning me around, shoving me into the machine. Could have come right there, the sight of you: so possessive, so ready to take exactly what you wanted…you want to do that right now, don’t you? Just take me, right here, in my office. You just have to get past Tosh and Owen first.”

            Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fucking Jack fucking Harkness. Ianto shoved a hand in his mouth and bit down. He could feel precome wetting his pants beneath his trousers. Oh, please, don’t let it soak through to the trousers; he was out of spare suits at the Hub. “Oh, but last night. When you took me, it felt so good. Hard, and fast, and rough: just the way I like it. And when you started going, and hitting my prostate…it took everything for me to hang on as long as I did. The look in your eyes, Ianto. You should have seen it. Hair plastered down to your face, dripping with sweat. Blue eyes, so focused on me, on pounding into me, on making me come so hard I couldn’t even remember where I was, who I was. I just knew that you were inside of me, and it was perfect.”

            Jack’s breath was coming faster over the line now. That tosser. That twat. He was sitting in his office, having a fantastic wank, and here Ianto was, ready to come in his pants if he so much as moved.

            “Jack, please. Please. Make Tosh and Owen leave. I’ll do whatever you want. Anything. Please. I just need to…right now…”

            “When we came down, I noticed we had spilled all the coffee. Remember how I ran my finger through the spill, brought it to your lips? You sucked on it: I wanted to throw you down and have you fuck me all over again. Ah…fuck…” Ianto’s breath caught in his throat: was Jack seriously coming? But no. Jack’s voice floated back to him over the coms. “Sorry. Almost. But I don’t want it to end yet.”

            “Jack. What will it take to end this?” Ianto’s chest was rising and falling quickly, sweat beginning to bead his upper lips. It was starting not to matter that he was turned toward the coffee machine: his state of arousal was obvious even from behind. Ianto decided that if Jack wasn’t going to play fair, than neither would he. He lowered his voice, thickening his accent on purpose. “Please, sir.”

            “Mm. That’s good, Ianto. Want to see one of the secrets of the Hub?”

            Ianto’s mind whirled. What? What the hell did Jack want to show him, right now, when…

            Suddenly an alarm buzzed. Tosh jumped up, and Owen flew out of the autopsy bay. “What’s going on?” Ianto looked around, trying not to turn, but at the same time trying not to look too suspicious. Jack’s voice floated out of the office.

            “Huh. Car park alarm. Probably some idiot wandered in on accident. Tosh, Owen, could you go check it out for me? Shouldn’t be anything too bad.”

            Tosh and Owen glanced at each other. Owen shrugged, tossing down the magazine he had been reading, and Tosh typed a quick command into her computer before tossing her glasses down on the desk.

            “No problem. Hey, Yan, coffee ready by the time we get back?”

            Ianto nodded, face flushed with the realization of what Jack had done. “Yup. Almost done.”

            “Thanks, mate. Alright, Tosh. Let’s see what’s going on in the car park.”

            Owen and Tosh ambled out, and the alarm shut off. Wasting no time, Ianto ran (as well as he could, what with the problem still insistent in his trousers) across the Hub and into Jack’s office.  

            “Thank you, Jack. Thank you. Now, please…” Ianto found himself being tackled to the ground by an over-enthusiastic Captain.

            “How long?” He mumbled into Ianto’s lips, hands fumbling at Ianto’s belt and finally, finally releasing his throbbing erection.

            Ianto reached his hands up and yanked Jack’s head down painfully, shoving his tongue into his mouth and clashing their teeth together. “Eight minute walk there, eight minute back, estimated five minutes for examination of the alarm?” Ianto finally said, pulling back.

            “Enough time for two quick blowjobs?” Jack’s eyebrows waggled hopefully.

            “Don’t care, don’t care, just get your head down…” Ianto shoved roughly at Jack’s head, forcing it down. Jack didn’t seem to mind.

            “Okay, okay. Here…” Jack’s hand wrapped firmly around the base, and he licked a long stripe up its length. Ianto screamed at the sudden contact, long minutes of arousal and discomfort magnifying every little touch of fingers and tongue.

            “Jack, please, not long…” And then Jack’s lips were slipping over the head, down the shaft, tongue licking a firm path along the way. Ianto arched up from the floor, hands gripping his own hair tightly in a rush of pleasure. Jack’s head bobbed, and Ianto could barely keep his eyes open to watch as Jack expertly hollowed his cheeks, sucking and licking at Ianto’s arousal as if it was his favorite treat. Which, incidentally, it was.

            Ianto’s hands released their grip on his head, only to move down to find Jack’s hair to twine their way through. “Jack…Jack…could you…” Ianto lifted his hips off the ground slightly. Jack got the message, and then he was opening his throat, coaxing Ianto back further and further. Another too-loud groan ripped its way out of Ianto’s throat, and his hips jerked into Jack’s eager mouth. Jack pulled back, then slid his mouth down, deep throating Ianto again. Ianto could have died happy.

            His hips started to thrust into Jack’s mouth of their own accord, but Jack let him, one hand sliding back to grip Ianto’s arse and encourage him in further. For a short, blissful minute, Ianto abandoned all restraint and fucked Jack’s mouth and throat. Then he came, back arching off the ground and shouting “Jack!”

            He collapsed, every inch of his body on fire, back onto the ground. For a moment he lay there, in sweaty confusion and contentment. “Jack, do you…”

            A hand slowly extracted fingers from the flesh of his arse, and started caressing his hip. He glanced down, and saw Jack licking sticky come off his fingers. “Sorry. Couldn’t wait…”

            Ianto shook his head and banged it back down on the floor. “No. Good, after that I wouldn’t be able…” He lifted his head and glanced down again, brain suddenly registering that Jack was licking his own come off his fingers, just after he had swallowed down Ianto’s.

            His eyes widened and his hand shot down, gripping the back of Jack’s neck and pulling him up. Jack grinned, then kissed Ianto. His tongue plunged into Ianto’s mouth, letting him taste the combined flavor of both of them. Ianto moaned, then pulled away. He grabbed Jack’s hand and licked the rest of Jack’s come from his fingers, sucking on each of them lewdly in turn. Jack groaned and pressed his forehead to Ianto’s.

            “We…you…damn it, Ianto. What are we doing tonight?”

            “Rift willing? This. And a lot more.” Ianto punctuated his sentence by sucking on Jack’s index and middle finger firmly. Jack groaned and rolled his forehead against Ianto’s.

            “Oh, bloody fucking bollocks!”

            Jack and Ianto’s heads both snapped around, eyes locking onto a very angry Owen, and a very embarrassed Tosh.

            “We leave for two seconds, and what do you two wankers have to do? Have a wank, apparently. For God’s sake, will you two tuck yourselves back in? Some of us are trying to work here!”

            Ianto scrambled to push Jack off of him: Jack complied less hastily, a lazy, post-orgasmic grin still on his face. “Sorry, Owen. Didn’t mean to scar you.”

            “Scar me? You two couldn’t…hey, Ianto, you made this coffee before you jumped Jack, yeah?”

            Ianto nodded furiously, still turned around and buttoning up his trousers. “Yeah. Sorry, was going to pass it out…”

            “No, bloody hell, don’t go near my coffee after…that.” Owen waved his hand vaguely, coffee mug now in hand. Tosh, meanwhile, had returned to her workstation, blushing red and typing something furiously.

            Ianto sighed and carded a hand through his hair. Jack just turned at looked at him thoughtfully. “That couldn’t have taken twenty-one minutes.”

            Ianto shrugged. “Perhaps they ran?” Jack laughed, and Ianto turned away from him, blushing as red as Tosh. Great. Taking care of his problem had just led to another one. Ianto set back to his work, cleaning up the coffee machine and heading down to the archives. At least he could walk properly again; facing his teammates was a wholly different matter.