Title: I know what you did last night
By: Librarian In Leather
Pairing: Ten/Jack
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The Doctor wakes up with a killer hangover, no memory of the night before and an unexpected guest. But don't worry, the Tardis knows what happened.

***

The Doctor woke slowly to a pounding in his head.

Ow, Please don't tell me I've inherited the Masters' drums. I don't think I've ever had a headache this bad.

[It's called a hangover] the mocking voice inside his head had a northern accent and he could almost see his previous incarnation slouching against the inside of his mind, arms folded and with that lunatic grin spread across his face.

Hangover as in I got drunk? His thought was incredulous.

[That is the general definition of a hangover] the voice even registered the smug grin he would have been wearing, had he been more than just a left over spark from his regeneration.

Okay, Mr Smarty-pants, if you know so much, you tell me what happened last night!

He heard the mental snort and sighed in exasperation before slowly cracking his eyelids open. He winced at the light but opened his eyes completely when he realized he was slumped, fully clothed, on his bed and the Tardis had dimmed the bedroom lights.

He forced himself to get up and stagger to the med-bay. It's a good job I stock up on hangover cures, he thought as he fumbled a vial of purple liquid and a hypo-spray out of a draw. He'd never had to use it on himself before, but he'd had more than one companion get royally sloshed and need it the next morning.

He injected it into his own neck and then grinned manically as it took affect. After a quick glance at the ceiling he dashed towards the console room. The Tardis would have recordings of what had happened last night.

Now all I have to do is persuade her to show me. Hmm...the last thing I remember was arguing with myself over...

He froze in the doorway and stared at the person slumped asleep on the console chair.

...over the captain.

[My captain] came the disgruntled northern voice.

The Doctor took one more look at Jack lying snoring on the console chair before turning and dashing back to the med-bay, which was suspiciously closer than it had been, for another hypo-spray.

What the hell happened that made me go pick up Jack! He felt a warm pulse and an amused chuckle inside his head from the Tardis. What are you so happy about? You flew to the end of the universe to escape him!

[No, she flew to the end of the universe because someone jumped on her in mid-dematerialisation. If you'd waited for him instead of trying to leave without him that wouldn't have happened!]

The Doctor winced at the yelling inside his head. Oh yeah and who was it who abandoned him in the first place? Hmmm?

It was an argument that neither of them could win, as they'd both treated Jack badly but which, equally, neither could let go.

The Doctor crouched down by Jack, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair away from his face.

Jack groaned as he stirred and muttered, 'I have the hangover of all hangovers.'

'Well, then, it's a good thing I have the hangover cure of all hangover cures,' he toned down his usual exuberance in respect for Jack's head. He leaned over and injected the hypo into Jack's neck before jumping up to put the spray on the console.

The Doctor grinned as he watched Jack start to feel human again. 'Wow Doc,' Jack said sitting up and getting the cricks out of his spine, 'that stuff's good.' Realization dawned on his face, 'hang on Doc, what am I doing here?'

The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. 'Um, I don't actually know, I got a bit drunk and, uh, I can't remember.'

Jack stared at him for a second then burst into fits of laughter. 'You, drunk! Oh that's something I'd like to remember!'

The Doctor huffed indignantly, 'You were drunk too!' He pointed out defensively.

'Yeah, but I'm me, I'm not an almighty Time Lord, I'm allowed.'

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by an impatient beep from the Tardis console screen. They both came to stand in front of the screen as it changed to show the Doctor staggering along one of the many corridors of the Tardis.

The audio feed came on but stayed in, what Jack's experiences with the Doctor told him was, Gallifreyan. He frowned, he may have been able to recognize it but he couldn't understand a word of it.

'Why isn't the Tardis translating?' He turned to the Doctor with a questioning look on his face, which quickly turned to amusement when he realized the Time Lord was blushing.

The Doctor was supremely grateful that the Tardis wasn't translating what he had realized was an argument he was having with himself, over just how badly his previous incarnation had fallen for Jack, giving detailed descriptions of just which sexual acts had helped lead to it.

'Are you arguing...with the Tardis?' Jack asked, confused, when the Doctors drunken ramblings fell into the obvious pattern of a conversation.

'No, with myself, or at least with the little sod in here,' he tapped the side of his head, 'that's all that's left of my previous regeneration.'

Jack looked startled, 'You mean you have a voice in your head, which talks to you, which still has what? His personality?

The Doctor nodded. Jack grinned as he asked, 'Does it have a northern accent?' The Doctor nodded again as he grinned back.

'Do you have the voices of all your regenerations in there?' Jack asked, intrigued.

'I used to,' the Doctor's voice was soft, 'But I haven't heard from them since...'

Jack completed the sentence for him, feeling uncomfortable now, 'Since the war.'

They watched in silence till the Doctor's drunken wanderings became so erratic that Jack had to laugh again and the Doctor was left trying to remember how he'd managed to get in that state. He remembered being alone, wandering listlessly, wanting to forget the loneliness and sink into oblivion, even if just for a while. It took a lot to get a Time Lord drunk, he knew that, but he also knew the recipe for a really good hyper vodka. He groaned inwardly, remembering the pint glass full of clear liquid; that would've got anyone drunk, in fact, he conceded, it would probably have killed most species.

The Tardis beeped again and the translation circuits kicked in just as the Doctor on the screen reached the door to the console room.

'Well, if your sho in love wiff him, I'll go get him and you can talk to him!' The Doctor watching the screen winced and pretended to ignore the way Jack's laughter faded and his face became thoughtful.

The Tardis fast forwarded the recording till the materialization sequence, they watched as the Doctor staggered out the door and then the Tardis started fast forwarding again.

'Do you remember me coming to get you?'

'No,' Jack wouldn't meet the Doctor's eye, 'I'd had a bad day. I remember locking the door to my office and getting out the scotch.'

'Ah,' now it was the Doctor's turn to feel uncomfortable and he was very relieved when the recording returned to normal speed in time to show the Doctor and Jack staggering through the doorway, laughing their heads off. They only just managed to get the door shut before tripping over and collapsing in a giggling heap on the floor.

The Jack in the here-and-now laughed again and leered cheerfully at the Doctor. 'Now that's a position I wouldn't mind getting into.'

The Doctor rolled his eyes but couldn't stop a small smirk creeping across his face.

'Although,' Jack's head tilted to the side as he watched the screen, 'It looks like I've already got into a much more interesting one.'

Refocusing his gaze on the screen, the Doctors jaw dropped. He watched himself straddle Jack and proceed to kiss him senseless.

'That's the wonderful thing about alcohol,' the Doctor jumped as Jack's voice sounded right in his ear, 'Takes away all sorts of inhibitions.'

The Doctor spun round, only to find himself pinned against the Tardis console.

'However,' Jack continued, his face only inches from the Doctor's, 'It rarely makes you do things you don't actually want to do, deep down.'

The Doctor opened his mouth to protest but before he could utter a sound Jack covered it with his own. The kiss was gentle but it held an undercurrent of pleading and a promise of something more than lust which he'd never thought to feel from the captain. Even so, the Doctor fought for a moment before giving his objection up as futile; fighting Jack was one thing but fighting himself was a whole different road to madness.

So he melted into Jack's kiss and allowed himself to feel at home in the safety of his captain's arms. Right now he was going to live for the moment and the future could look after itself.

***