Title: Innocent When You Dream
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: slash_me_twice
Prompt: 28, Innocence
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto looked down at the Doctor, smiling as he let his eyes roam over the features of the sleeping man he held in his arms. For once, the Doctor looked relaxed, all the small signs of worry erased from his face as he slept.

He hoped that the Doctor was sleeping soundly, without any of the disturbing dreams that had seemed to plauge him lately. Those dreams couldn't help but make Ianto worry; he hated it when the Doctor tossed and turned, whimpering in his sleep until he had to be awakened.

But that didn't seem to be a problem at the moment; the other man was fast asleep, looking almost childlike, peaceful and undisturbed.

Well, that was a small blessing, Ianto told himself with a smile. He loved to watch the Doctor sleep; the Time Lord looked so innocent when he slept, and it wasn't often that his lover could view him when he wasn't in perpetual motion.

What was he dreaming about? There were no lines creasing his forehead, no tighteness around the mouth that Ianto loved to kiss. He looked as though all of his worries were swept away; for all Ianto knew, he could be somewhere in the past in his dreams.

Though he hoped that wasn't the case, really. He'd much prefer it if the Doctor was dreaming of the two of them, something happy and carefree that might happen somewhere down the road for them, in a future that hadn't taken place yet.

Ianto often wondered just what that future might hold for the two of them, though it was something he tried not to let his thoughts linger on. He didn't want to be anxious about what could happen for them; he knew all too well that any anxiety he had could be transferred far too easily to his lover.

His anxieties were hard to control at times; he worried more about the Doctor's safety than was good for him, but worrying about the people he cared for had always been his nature.

The Doctor already had enough to deal with during his waking hours. Ianto wanted to be a part of his life that he could go to for comfort, for security -- not something that only gave him more causes for worry and stress.

At least any worries that he had seemed to be nonexistent at the moment. Ianto couldn't resist brushing his fingertips across the softness of the Doctor's cheek, smiling as he did so. He looked so innocent when he was dreaming.

He couldn't help but wonder what was going through that mind when the Doctor slept and dreamed. Was he dreaming of Gallifrey? Of far-past times when his world had still existed, happier times in his life before he'd become a Time Lord and traveled the galaxy?

Or could he be dreaming of some far-off future, something rosy that only he could conceive of that could possibly be in store for the two of them? Was he dreaming of something that Ianto would love to see, something that might actually come to pass?

There were times when he wished that he could look into that mind, know everything that the Doctor knew, see into the private recesses of his world.

And then, there were times when he was grateful that he couldn't do that. All the things that this man had seen, all the things he'd been through in his lifetime, would probably be too much for a single human mind to comprehend. Ianto didn't think he'd be able to do it.

How had the Doctor managed to make it through all of those experiences? He sighed as he stroked his hand though the Time Lord's hair again; this man had endured so much in his long lifetime, seen so many things that most beings could only dream of.

He was a part of those things that the Doctor had seen; he'd become a part of the Time Lord's soul, a fixture in his life. When the Doctor looked back on everything he'd done, all that he'd seen, Ianto would always be there, an integral part of who he was.

In spite of everything that he'd seen over the course of his life, he still retained that almost childlike wonder about the world around him. Ianto loved seeing him discover new things, the way his face would light up, his eyes gleaming with interest.

That innocence was, in a way, part of what had drawn Ianto to him so strongly. It was hard not to fall in love with that kind of purity; it was a touching quality for anyone to have.

The Doctor certainly wouldn't consider himself innocent, Ianto thought with a wry smile. In fact, he'd often said quite the opposite -- that his soul was blacker than the darkest night, and that sometimes he wished he could forget a lot of what he'd seen and done in the past.

His lover might not see himself as being innocent any longer, the young man thought, his gaze still on the Time Lord's face, but he was in so many ways. Just because he couldn't see that for himself didn't mean that the quality didn't exist.

Especially in moments like this, when he was dreaming, caught unwares in whatever land of fantasy he'd taken himself off to in his unconscious mind. There was no doubt that he was innocent there, happy, carefree, with no worries to disturb him.

Ianto wished that he could be like this more often, that the life they led together gave the Time Lord more of a chance to leave all of his cares behind. But unfortunately, that wasn't likely.

They'd both chosen this life -- the Doctor because it was what he'd wanted from the time he was a child, and Ianto because he'd known from the first time he set eyes on the Time Lord that he was meant to be with this man.

Neither of them would choose to give up the lives they led -- not if it meant that they had to give up each other in the bargain. But they'd both left their innocence far behind them, and the life they had didn't give them the opportunity to recapture it.

So he was glad that the Doctor could find that innocence in his dreams, Ianto told himself, smiling again as he pulled the Doctor closer against him. The other man snuggled into his embrace but didn't wake, the small smile still curving his lips as he slept on.

Did he himself seem that innocent in his own dreams? Did the Doctor look down at him like this when he wasn't aware of the scrutiny with a smile on his face and love in his hearts?

He couldn't help but ask himself that question as he lay there, his gaze fixed on the beautiful man in his arms. Though he'd probably never know the answer, the thought of the Doctor watching him sleep gave him a warm glow.

Just the idea that the Time Lord could have the same protective feelings that he did now, that he could lie here and watch his lover sleep, and think that he looked young and innocent when he was dreaming, made him feel more secure than he ever had before.

He'd never had that kind of all-embracing love from Jack, or from anyone else he'd been with. No one had ever made themselves a part of his life in the way that the Doctor had -- but then, no one else had been his soul mate, the one he was destined for.

No one else had been the man of his dreams, the one who brought life to the shadowy figure that Ianto had always dreamed of having a life with.

Their innocence might be long gone, Ianto thought, settling down more comfortably, but at least they could find it again in their dreams -- himself as well as the Doctor, he hoped. They'd always be able to go back to that part of their lives when everything had been new and wondrous.

And hopefully, he thought, smiling again as he pressed a kiss to the sleeping Time Lord's cheek and closed his eyes, they'd find that innocence again in their waking hours, too. After all, with the Doctor, one thing he'd learned was to believe in the impossible.

***