Title: Ianto Jones vs iPlayer
By: Aearlor
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine. All the characters belong to the BBC and RTD.
Note: A quick little fic, just for fun, no beta. Characterisation will be a bit (a lot) off, but like I say it just supposed to be fun. For Delsie, for her seriously sweet e-mail.
Summary: "Ah you're on iPlayer again aren't you Ianto? Should have guessed, you always know you're on iPlayer by the fact we're both fully clothed and you're still shouting and screaming."

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Ianto Jones hates BCC iPlayer, he really, really does. This is absolutely ridiculous, Ianto should not be so frustrated by this stupid programme; all he wants to do is catch up with this week's QI, and to do that he's going to have to wait an hour, no wait 59 minutes actually no, two hours, wait no 59 minutes again. He kicks the leg of the desk his computer stands on in frustration and regrets it instantly, "Fuck, a anafa."

"Ah, Ianto don't pollute your pretty welsh mouth with words like that. Only I may pollute your pretty welsh mouth." Jack says as he rests his chin on Ianto's shoulder, even if Ianto couldn't see him out of the corner of his eye he'd still know Jack has that stupid grin slapped on his face, "So why you frustrated? I hear sex is very good for getting rid of stress." Jack kisses the shell of Ianto's ear for to endorse his point. Ianto suppresses an eye roll; he loves Jack he really does, but sometimes it's like talking to a character from a sitcom. A really bad sitcom, probably with canned laughter and catch phrases. Actually Ianto wouldn't mind the catch phrases too much...

"There's a difference between being frustrated and stressed." Is how Ianto chooses to reply, when he comes out of his own thoughts, his eyes are still on the computer screen as the pink bar flitted from '34' to '35' back to '34'.

"Sex is also good for solving frustration." Jack states, but his not heard by an extremely pissed-off Ianto who starts to swear again at the bar of pink that has become the bane of his existence, "Four fucking minutes ago you were at 34 how have you gotten to 30? How can you possibly have downloaded less than before, it makes absolutely no fucking sense!"

"Ah you're on iPlayer again aren't you Ianto? Should have guessed, you always know you're on iPlayer by the fact we're both fully clothed and you're still shouting and screaming."

"Jack you're not helping."
"I could help, lets see according to that it's gunna be done in about an hour, I can think of something that could fill that time." The grin again.

"Actually it now says an hour and sixteen minutes," Ianto says matter-of-factly.

"Oh good then we have time to clean up before the others come in." Jack doesn't wait for a reply and simply lifts Ianto and half-drags, half-carries him to his room.

An hour and twenty minutes later

"What's that noise?" asks Gwen as she stops looking for biscuits and looks at her colleges worriedly.

"O its 'im 'nd 'ack 'r' it." Owen says through a mouth full of crisps that earns a look of disgust from Tosh.

"And again in English?" replies Gwen disgusted face mimicking Tosh's.

"Him and Jack are at it." He replies after he swallows.

Gwen chokes on a hobnob and attempts to raise an eyebrow, it doesn't work and is suddenly really jealous of Ianto's eyebrow flexibility.

"And how, Owen, do you know that?" Tosh asks, trying to sound professional and not like a gossiping schoolgirl.

"Simple really," the doctor says with a grin, " iPlayer has finished downloading and Ianto is still screaming and shouting."

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