Title: Just My Imagination
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 8, substituted for 3, letter100
Prompt: 3, Imagination -- substituted for 17, Dog
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

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Dearest Ianto,

I really have no reason to be writing this letter to you, except to say yet again how happy you've made me during the time that we've been together. I would never have believed I'd find my soul mate -- and yet here you are, by my side.

There are times when I still think about my certainty that I shouldn't bring you out into the stars with me, instead making you wait for when I'd come back to Earth to be with you. Thinking that I could ever have had that attitude makes me cringe.

It was wrong of me to have ever thought that, my love. Instead of keeping you safe, I was putting you through hell, making you wait and wonder what could have become of me, since we had no way of communicating while I was gone.

That was never fair to you. I expected that you would keep yourself safe, and instead, I feel that I may have driven you to be even more reckless than you would normally be in your work with Torchwood, risking your life for no reason.

I can never say enough how sorry I am for that. Or how grateful I am to you for having the courage and the love in your heart to come after me when I was stupid enough to think that leaving you would be what was best for us both.

That's proof that I don't always do the right thing, isn't it? Not that I've ever thought that I did. I may act as though I think I'm infallible at times -- but I do have grave doubts about some of my actions. I'm not always as certain as I might appear to be.

There are always so many choices, and sometimes I agonize over which ones I should make. But one choice I've made in my life I will always know without a shadow of a doubt was the right one -- the choice I made to be with you.

I've never regretted that choice for one moment, not even during that horrible time when I left you. Being with you has become the cornerstone of my existence; you've given me shelter where I never thought that any would ever be possible.

If anyone had told me before I met you that I would fall in love with a human and be bonded to him with all my hearts and soul, I would have thought they were either joking, or insane. But you've proved me wrong in thinking that I would never find my mate.

How many nights have I laid awake in bed on the Tardis, aching to have someone there beside me? I can't even begin to count them all. When I found you, I thought at first that it was just my imagination that made me feel you were that one.

But my imagination could never have conjured up someone as wonderful as you, my love. I could never have imagined that anyone would care for me so selflessly, or be willing to give their life for mine. I've never had that kind of pure love in my life before.

Several people have said before in the course of my life that they would do anything for me -- but when the chips were down, so to speak, their words were false. I can't blame them for that; people do have an inner instinct for self-preservation.

You, however .... you've said those words innumerable times, and meant them with every fibre of your being. No one has ever loved me that much before, Ianto, not even my own family. There are no words to say how much that kind of love means to me.

How can I put an ethereal emotion like love into words? I can show you exactly how I feel, but that never seems to be quite enough. The enormity of the emotion I feel whenever I look at you, or even just think of you, can't be captured in any way.

Saying three little words never seems to be enough. But if that's what it takes to make you believe in my great and complete love for you, then I'll say them over and over again, until you get terribly tired of hearing those words come out of my mouth.

"I love you" has never been something that I've wanted to say to anyone else. There have only been a few people in my life who I felt were deserving of those words; Jack was one of them, and he was the only companion I've ever said it to.

We've both been in love before, but I don't believe that either of us ever knew the true meaning of love until we first looked into each other's eyes. That moment was when I realised that I'd never really loved before -- and that I was completely under your spell.

You've captured my hearts and soul, my imagination, my thoughts and emotions, my entire being. I don't think that anyone else in the universe could ever have done that as completely as you have. I belong to you, Ianto Jones, hearts, body and soul.

If I ever ask you to pinch me because I think that I might be dreaming, it's up to you whether you want to do it or not. But I might need that pinch to assure me that this life I'm so happy in is indeed reality, and not just my imagination running away with me.

I've told my imagination over and over again that it needs to accept this as my reality, because this is the way it's going to be for a long time to come. You're the one who isn't going to leave, the mate who I've been searching for all of my life.

I love you, Ianto. There, I've written the words down, here on paper in black and white. And I'll say them to you, from the moment you wake up when I put down this pen and get into bed with you, until the end of time, every day for the rest of our lives together.

Your loving

Doctor

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