Title: Should've Known Better
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Table: 10_per_genre
Prompt: 10, Regret
Author's Note: Continuation of Another Chance.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor glanced over at Jack, unable to believe that his one-time lover had walked back into his life so abruptly. He couldn't seem to take his eyes from the immortal; his mind couldn't quite wrap itself around the fact that Jack was here.

He'd insisted that they could leave Earth right away, and the Doctor had taken him up on those words. He had sent the Tardis out into time and space before heading for the bathroom and turning on the hot water in the shower.

As he'd stripped out of his clothes, he'd pondered just what this would mean. Would he and Jack be able to slip right back into the same relationship they'd shared before, or would it take time for them to get past the awkwardness of being apart for so long?

There was really no telling, not at such an early stage. He'd sighed and stepped into the shower, raising his face to the warm spray, closing his eyes and blocking those thoughts from his mind. Time enough to think about them later -- and to discuss them with Jack.

Jack had taken a shower too; he was lounging on the couch in one of the dressing gowns he'd left behind, looking completely comfortable and at ease. In contrast, the Doctor was a bundle of nerves, feeling restless and jumpy.

The Doctor pulled his own dressing gown more closely around him, curling his long legs into the chair under him and trying to pretend that he was paying attention to the open book on his lap. But he wasn't fooling Jack; the immortal looked over at him with raised brows and a smile.

"So when are we going to talk about this?" he asked, his voice soft. "Now, or later? I don't think either one of us wants to go on pretending that there's not a huge wall between us that needs to get torn down as soon as possible."

"We should probably talk things out now," the Doctor answered, his voice trembling slightly. "I'm just not sure where to start. There's a lot between us, Jack, and a lot of questions that need to be answered. I wonder if either of us are ready to hear the answers."

"I was wrong to leave, Doctor." Jack leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and fixing the Time Lord with a stare that seemed to pierce through him. "I wanted to turn around and go back the second I walked out of the Tardis. But my pride kept me from doing it."

"Do you regret it, Jack?" His voice was trembling more now; he had to speak around a lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. "Did you spend nights looking up at the stars and thinking of me and wondering where I was? Did you ever feel that you'd made a mistake, in all that time?"

"Yes," Jack said simply, his voice still soft and husky but the words coming out firmly and with such sincerity that the Doctor couldn't doubt them. "I regretted it every night and every day. Every second that I was away from you was like an eternity."

He continued, looking down at the rug rather than keeping his gaze on the Time Lord's face. "And yes, I looked up at the stars every night. There were times when I wondered if you'd regenerated, or if you were ....." He shook his head, his voice trailing off.

"Dead?" the Doctor finished for him. "I think you'd probably have known if I was. I don't know .... maybe you would have felt it somehow, or you'd have known that there was some sort of distortion in time. Or maybe you'd have had to deal with the Master again, if that had happened."

"I'd have known." Jack looked up at him, his gaze meeting the Doctor's again and not looking away this time. "It would've been engraved in my heart the second you were gone. I know that might sound really melodramatic, but it's true. You know it when the love of your life isn't there any more."

"I'm the love of your life?" The Doctor's words were breathy, barely audible. He could hardly believe that Jack could have said that about him; the immortal had been close to so many people in his life, and he was sure that Jack had cared for some them much more.

"That's why I walked away when I did," Jack told him, a slight tremor in his voice. "I couldn't stay with you and not let you know how I felt. And at the time, I was afraid that if I told you how I felt, you wouldn't feel the same way. So I made the biggest mistake of my life."

"I made the biggest mistake I've ever made by not going after you and asking you to stay," the Doctor told him. This time, it was the Gallifreyan who looked down at the floor when he spoke again. "If I had come after you .... would you have stayed?"

"I don't know." Jack's voice was soft, but the words were matter-of-fact. "I'm not the same person now that I was then, Doc. I've changed a lot. The time with Torchwood -- the time away from you -- made me grow up a lot, I think. It made me realize what I'd given up."

"Letting you walk away from me was the hardest thing I've ever done," the Doctor admitted, not looking up at Jack again. "It nearly killed me to stand there and watch you leave. I convinced myself that I was never going to reach out to you again."

"You wouldn't have had to," Jack said softly, standing up and moving to the Doctor's chair. He knelt in front of the Time Lord, taking the other man's delicate hands in his own. "I'd have come back to you. I should have done it a long time ago."

"Why didn't you?" the Doctor whispered, finally lifting his gaze to Jack's. The immortal could see the tears shimmering in those dark fathomless depths; the sight brought tears to his own eyes, tears that he blinked back as he spoke.

"Because I was afraid you'd say that you didn't want me back," Jack answered, one hand moving to cup the Doctor's cheek. "I regretted what I'd done more than anything, but I didn't think there was a way to fix it. I should have known better. I should have trusted you more."

"You're back now," the Doctor told him, taking a deep breath and squeezing Jack's hand. "And I'm not going to let you go so easily again, you know. This time, I'll run after you and beg you to stay. I'm not going to let myself live with those kind of regrets again."

"You're never going to have to beg me to stay," Jack said, standing up and pulling the Doctor to his feet. "Because you're stuck with me this time, Doc. I'm not leaving. Not now, not ever. I don't want to live with those regrets, either. Not now that I've found my way home."

"No more regrets for either of us," the Doctor murmured, leaning against Jack as the other man wrapped strong arms around his waist. "I hope you intend to make up for lost time, Jack Harkness. We have a lot of things to catch up on."

"I plan on starting to do that right now -- as soon as I can get you into the bedroom," Jack whispered into his ear, his lips moving to the Doctor's throat for a moment before they found his mouth, sweeping away any regrets from the past with a kiss that tasted of the future.

***

Next story in series - All Is Forgiven.