Title: Memory Lane
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 5
Prompt: 27, Past
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

It shouldn't bother him that the Doctor had known other people in his life that he cared for. Not at all, Ianto told himself, trying to push the feelings of jealousy to the back of his mind. He didn't want to seem like a petulant child. After all, he and the Doctor had both had lives before they'd found each other. He couldn't expect his love to be completely untouched, either physically or emotionally.

But that was more easily said than done. Ianto found himself wanting to meet these other people, these "companions," face to face, to let them know that the Doctor was his, that even though they might share a friendship with the Time Lord, they would never be anything more than that to him. Ianto was the one he was bonded to, the one who belonged to him, heart, body and soul. His soul mate, his destiny.

That was a childish though, he told himself firmly. He had nothing to prove. It was enough that the Doctor had chosen him.

Still, it would be nice to let these people know that any hopes they might harbor of the Doctor coming back to them would be in vain. He wished that it wasn't so hard for him to accept the fact that his lover had cared for others in his past -- after all, the Doctor had much more of a past than anyone he'd known before.

Even Jack had engendered a bit of jealousy. Those other companions -- those women -- hadn't gotten to him as badly as Jack had. Of course, the Doctor had made it clear that he'd never had a physical relationship with any of those women -- though he'd cared about them, there had never been more between them than an emotional tie, and not even the deep, soul bond that he shared with Ianto.

But Jack .... the Doctor had slept with Jack. They'd been lovers, traversing the universe together. Jack knew the Doctor in all the ways that Ianto did. Perhaps even in more intimate ways than Ianto imagined.

He knew the softness of the Doctor's skin. He knew just how the Time Lord liked to be touched. He knew the way the Doctor moaned when the came, knew how his body shook with orgasmic shudders. He knew all the secret places to touch the Doctor, the places that brought out those moans and soft cries that sounded like sweet music to Ianto's ears.

Ianto shook his head, trying to dissipate the images crowding into his mind. He didn't need to think about that. It was the past. He was the Doctor's present -- and his future.

He looked up as the Doctor entered the living room, padding in on bare feet, making no sound on the carpet. The tall, slender Time Lord sat down on the couch next to his lover, stretching out and laying full-length on the couch, resting his head in Ianto's lap. The young Welshman smiled down at his love, smoothing one hand through the Doctor's hair.

"You seem awfully pensive tonight, my sweet," the Doctor said softly, looking up at Ianto. "Is it something I've done? I don't want to think that I've made you sad in some way. You look as though you have some serious issues on your mind."

It always made Ianto feel slightly strange when the Doctor seemed to read his thoughts so easily; the idea of being involved with a telepath might seem quirky and exciting to most people, but to him, it was a little startling. He wasn't used to having his innermost thoughts shared by someone else, even the man he loved.

But he wasn't going to say anything about it; the Doctor never pried, never tried to force his way into thoughts that Ianto wanted to keep private. He supposed that the jealousy he was feeling was so strong that it was hard for the Doctor to ignore the emotion.

"You don't have to be jealous, you know," the Time Lord murmured, turning his head to press a gentle kiss against Ianto's palm. "Yes, I did love all of my companions. Even Jack. But never in anything near to the way that I love you."

"I know." Ianto sighed, his gaze meeting the Doctor's dark eyes. "It's just .... I can't help feeling jealous. They've shared so many memories with you, so many things that I'll never know about. So much of your life -- your lives -- that I've been shut away from."

"No, Ianto." The Doctor sat up, taking Ianto's hands in his. "You're not shut out of anything. My life -- all of my lives -- are an open book to you, any time you choose to read them. I have no secrets from you, not about anything I've experienced in my past bodies, nor anything in this one. You have no reason to feel envy for anyone. You never will."

"Can you .... tell me about some of them?" He hadn't really meant to ask that question; it had just popped out, something from the back of his mind. He didn't really want to know, but somehow, he felt that he had to hear about these people.

Maybe if the Doctor talked about them, they would feel like more of a memory and less like people who could turn up at any moment, taking the Doctor away from his side.

The Time Lord rearranged his angular body on the couch, getting comfortable. He leaned against the cushions, his long legs draped over Ianto's lap, one arm slipping around his young lover's waist. Ianto likewise slid an arm around the Doctor, reveling in the feel of his love's warm skin, the way the Time Lord's body felt as though it fit perfectly with his own.

"There are so many memories .... but I'm assuming you'd rather hear the ones that I have from this body?" the Gallifreyan inquired, tilting his head to the side and regarding Ianto with a frank, open gaze.

Ianto nodded, swallowing and looking down at the floor. He didn't really want to know how the Doctor had felt about the companions he'd had in this body, didn't want to know if there were any residual feelings other than friendship. But something in him, some stubborn little voice in the back of his head, pushed him on, insisting that he had to know just what he was up against.

The Doctor placed one slender hand on Ianto's cheek, stroking his fingers over his young lover's soft skin. "You aren't up against anything, Ianto," he whispered, his words soft and ringing with sincerity. "There aren't any feelings other than friendly ones. I can swear to that. Even --" The Doctor paused, clearing his throat. "-- Even with Jack."

Ianto looked up, eyes widening, startled out of his silence. "I wasn't thinking ...." he began, his voice trailing off, a guilty flush stealing over his cheeks. He had thought of Jack. The Doctor could probably sense that above all else.

"What do you want me to do, Ianto?" The Doctor sat up, leaning towards Ianto and capturing the young man's hands in his again, bringing them to his lips to press a gentle kiss to his fingertips. "Tell you that I didn't love him, that there was nothing between us but sex and no emotion? I can't do that. I can't lie to you."

"I know you loved him," Ianto whispered, unable to meet the Doctor's gaze. "I did too, you know. At one time, I thought he was the love of my life."

"Jack has a way of making one feel that, doesn't he?" The Doctor spoke softly, not letting go of Ianto's hands. "But that's behind me now. From the moment I met you, I knew that you were the one. I tried to fight the attraction for a while, because I didn't want to put you into the kind of danger that anyone I love has to face. But I can't be without you, Ianto. You're my other half. The completion of my soul."

"And you're mine," Ianto whispered, looking down at their entwined hands. "I just .... It's so hard to know that there were others before me. Others who you cared about -- in this body. Others who may have been .... better."

"Better?" The Doctor sounded surprised, as though he hadn't even considered the idea. "There couldn't be anyone better than you, my love. You are, to coin a phrase, the perfect fit."

"I shouldn't be jealous, should I?" Ianto murmured, still not looking up. "It doesn't matter what went before. You and I are the present and the future, and the past is over and done with. It isn't going to come back to haunt me."

"Only if you let it, my love," the Doctor said, his tone soft, almost caressing. "You're fighting opponents that only exist in your own mind, Ianto. Just ephemeral memories, nothing more. Memories that have no power unless you give it to them."

Ianto finally looked over at his love, taking a deep breath. "I need to work on being a bit more self-confident, don't I?"

"Indeed you do," the Doctor replied, leaning over to press a soft kiss to Ianto's cheek. "Do you still want to hear about some of the past, to make sure that it's all safely tucked away, or is that something it would be better to lay to rest?"

"I don't need to hear." Ianto's words were soft, but decisive. "The past is the past. I have to learn to let it be -- starting now. And besides ...." He leaned his head against the Doctor's shoulder, closing his eyes. ".... You're with me, not with any of them. That should tell me a lot, shouldn't it?"

"Yes, it should," the Doctor said softly, his gaze never leaving Ianto's face. "And the fact that I never intend to bond with anyone else should tell you much more."

"It does," the young man murmured, pushing all thoughts of the past from his mind as he leaned over to press another soft kiss to his lover's lips. "But I couldn't help but worry that some of your memories would always linger."

"Memories were built to fade, Ianto." The Doctor's voice wasn't regretful, only soft and loving. "They're designed that way for a reason. And we have all the time in the world to build so many new ones, you know."

"Ones that won't ever fade," Ianto whispered, wrapping his arms around his lover and pulling the other man into his lap. "And I think we should get started on bringing them to life right now."

***