Title: Left Behind
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG
Table: 1
Prompt: 20, Abandoned
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

***

Everyone left him. There were no exceptions. So why had he expected Jack to stay?

The Doctor sighed as he looked down at the controls of the Tardis. He was still here on 21st-century Earth, though he'd told himself that he should leave at least a dozen times. For some strange reason, he was still hoping that Jack might change his mind and come back.

He almost snorted aloud at the very thought. That wasn't going to happen. Jack had made his decision, and he wasn't going to reverse it.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, leaning against the console. He had to respect the decision that Jack had made, no matter how much it hurt him. He'd told the handsome Captain that he wasn't going to beg him to stay -- and he'd meant those words.

But he hadn't expected Jack to leave, not really. And he certainly hadn't expected it to hurt so much when the other man told him, in a soft, gentle, almost regretful tone, that he'd decided to go back to Torchwood.

He couldn't really blame Jack for that decision. After all, Torchwood needed him. After what had happened at Canary Wharf, they needed a strong man to lead them, to put the pieces back together. And Jack was more than capable of doing that.

He could do so much good here on Earth -- and the Doctor didn't blame him for wanting to feel that he was needed, that he was useful somewhere. He'd spent too much time feeling unwanted and unneeded himself to want to make anyone else feel that way -- especially someone he cared for deeply.

But dammit, he needed Jack, too, he told himself, his breath catching in his throat. He needed a companion -- and there was no one else he wanted by his side. Jack had been the one person who he'd been sure would give him everything he needed -- and wanted.

Jack hadn't been just his companion, but his lover. He'd lost other companions in the past, but they hadn't been to him all that Jack was.

Losing anyone who he'd come to care for was hard; it always tore at his hearts when anyone made the decision to leave him. But with Jack, it was different. Jack was immortal. He wasn't going to be torn away from the Doctor by death or old age. He could give the Time Lord the forever that he needed.

Another sigh, this one heavier than the last. If Jack wasn't willing to give him that forever, then the Doctor wasn't going to push him for it. He had his pride, after all; and that precluded him letting Jack see just how much he was needed in the Doctor's life.

He had no right to ask the immortal for something like that, not really. But the feeling of being abandoned was going to persist for a long time -- and he couldn't help but wonder if a part of him was always going to resent Jack for not staying.

Why should he harbor resentment? he asked himself, heaving yet another sigh. It had been Jack's decision, one that the immortal had every right to make on his own.

But if Jack loved him .... The Doctor pushed that thought away firmly, refusing to countenance it. It didn't matter if Jack loved him or not. the other man had to do what was right for him, and if that meant staying here on Earth and leading Torchwood, then so be it.

Besides, he didn't need to wonder about Jack's feelings. He knew that the immortal loved him -- he'd said those words to the Doctor so many times. Not only when they'd made love, but at other times when the Time Lord had most needed to hear them.

Jack's decision didn't mean that he was turning away from him, the Doctor reasoned with himself, closing his eyes and swallowing past the lump that had formed in his throat. It only meant that they couldn't be together as they had been. It didn't mean the ceasing of whatever feelings they had for each other.

But those feelings would inevitably lessen, with time. At least, they would on Jack's part; he was sure of that. The immortal wasn't the type of man who was going to stay faithful to someone who would, over the course of time, become little more than a fond memory.

He would have to learn to live with that. He'd already lost Jack; the abandonment might not be complete yet, but the first steps had been taken.

There was no turning back, not for either of them. Jack had made his choice, and the Doctor had to learn to live with that. Hopefully, with the passage of time, the bright flare of pain he felt wouldn't be so acute, and he would be able to let it fade into the past and move on. It wasn't as though he had a choice, after all.

Looking down at the console again, the Doctor blinked back the mist that had risen to his eyes. His hand hovered above the buttons, finally pressing a few, knowing that his action would make the blue police box shimmer into nothingness in this time ....

.... And appear in another. He didn't know where he would choose to go, but he only hoped that wherever he was, he would be able to go far enough away from Jack to block out the pain he was feeling -- the pain that he was sure he would always feel.

At least now that he had left Jack behind, he wouldn't be the only one to feel abandoned.

***