Title: Live in the Moment
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, 10_prompts
Prompt: 2, Alone
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor stood at the door of the Tardis, gazing out at the sight that was presented to him. The panorama of the snow-capped mountains was an impressive vision, the sunset that was just beginning to throw its colors over the scene equally so.

He could feel Ianto behind him even before his young lover's arms slid around his waist; closing his eyes for a moment, he leaned back against the other man's chest, reveling in the feeling of having someone here with him to share this gorgeous view.

"It's lovely, isn't it?" he said, opening his eyes after a few moments and taking in the scene. "It's a view that I never get tired of looking at. This wouldn't be an ideal place to live, but I like coming here whenever I can just to see the magnificent sunsets."

Ianto nodded, his soft lips brushing across the Doctor's cheek before he spoke. "You know, I love looking at sights like this, but even such a gorgeous scene isn't nearly as beautiful to me as you are," he said softly, his tone husky and warm.

The Doctor could literally feel the pink blush rising to his cheeks; in all the centuries he'd been alive, he'd never quite known how to take such a compliment about his looks. Even though he had to admit that the body he was in now was very attractive.

Of course, he'd never really had an attractive body before this one. He'd never had a problem with any of the bodies he'd been in bfore, but he'd always wanted to have one that he thought was handsome. It still amazed him at times that he'd finally gotten that wish.

He was used to wishing for things that never happened -- but for once, he'd had one of his wishes come true. And now that it had, he wanted to hold on to this body for as long as he could; it was the first one he'd had that he enjoyed being in and looking at.

To know that Ianto appreciated and loved this body as much as he did meant a great deal to him. He couldn't help but wonder if his boyfriend would be as attracted to him if he was in a less attractive body, but that wasn't something he wanted to think about a the moment.

All he wanted to concentrate on right now was the fact that he and Ianto were here together, in one of the most beautiful and relaxing places he'd ever been. He'd wanted to show his boyfriend the sunset over these mountains for a while now.

The last time he'd been here, he was alone. And all the times before that, as well. He'd never shown any of his other companions this place -- not even Jack, who was the only companion before Ianto to have been his lover.

No one else had seemed special enough to share this place with. He'd almost brought Jack here many times, but had always changed his mind at the last minute. It had never felt quite right to open this much of his hearts to Jack, to let him see that deeply inside.

And he'd been right not to do so. He'd loved Jack, but the immortal's emotions for him hadn't gone so deep. The other man had cared for him; he didn't doubt that for a moment. But they hadn't been meant for each other. Jack wasn't his soul mate.

Only Ianto was that. Ianto was the man who had been meant for him since the moment of his birth, even though the young human hadn't been born until centuries later. But somehow, the fates had known that Ianto was the other half of his soul.

He turned his head slightly to glance at Ianto; the young man seemed mesmerized by the beauty of the sunset over the mountains. He was staring at the colors, his lips parted, his blue-grey eyes taking in the sight in front of him.

"It's so beautiful here," Ianto said softly, turning his gaze away from the sunet to look at the Doctor. "It's one of the most visually stimulating places I've ever been. Not just the sunset, but the mountains too. Thank you for bringing me here, sweetheart."

"I love this place," the Doctor murmured, turning his gaze back to the deep pinks and purples that now streaked the sky in front of them. "It's always given me a sense of comfort and soothed my soul when I've needed it. Just the way you do."

"I do?" Ianto asked, his voice soft. "I hope that I always will, love. That's one of the things I'm here for, you know. To be a safe place for you when you need it. And of course, to watch your back whenever you need that, too."

The Doctor couldn't help smiling at his lover's words. Ianto did all those things for him, and was very good at them. He wouldn't give this young man up for any reason -- unless, of course, Ianto told him in no uncertain terms that he wanted to leave.

He was absolutely positive that his lover would never do that. Ianto was with him for the rest of his life; he'd made that clear time and time again. Ianto loved him; there was nothing in the universe that would pull either of them away from the other.

"I was so alone every other time I've come here," the Time Lord mused, his eyes still on the glorious colors of the sunset. "I've never shared this with anyone before. It just never seemed as thought it was right to let anyone see this side of me, this part of my soul."

"You'll never have to be alone again," Ianto whispered into his ear, his breath warm against the Doctor's skin. "I'll always be here for you to run to, Doctor, any time you need a refuge. My heart is always open to you -- and so are my arms. You know that."

"Indeed I do," the Time Lord murmured, feeling tears prickling behind his eyelids. If only the words that his lover spoke were true -- that he would never have to be alone again. He knew that wasn't possible. Ianto was overlooking one small fact.

Ianto was human. He would age and die -- and the Doctor would eventually be left alone again. It wasn't something he wanted to contemplate, but it was always there, an unpleasant thought that lurked around the edges of his mind and wouldn't go away.

Losing Ianto would be the hardest thing he would ever have to go through. He'd lost people he'd loved before -- and losing his home planet, knowing that he was responsible for its destruction, had come close to killing him, in spirit if not in body.

But losing Ianto .... that would destroy his spirit. That would be the day when he would feel that he could no longer go on living -- and he wasn't sure if he would be able to force himself to keep existing when that time came.

He would have to deal with being alone once more. And this time, he would have known what it was like to have a soul mate, to have that space inside him that had been empty for so long filled with a light and love that he had never known before.

Just the thought made a shudder go through him. He wanted to push the thought of being alone again to the back of his mind, bury it beneath a multitude of other thoughts, and never have to look at it again. He wanted it to disappear, to go away for good.

But of course, it wouldn't. And he couldn't simply ignore the fact that he wouldn't always have Ianto here by his side. That was something he would have to deal with eventually. He would have to face those facts, no matter how painful they were.

He was eventually going to be alone again. There was no denying that, no matter how much he wanted to. But at the moment, he wasn't alone. Ianto was here with him; he was in his lover's arms, and if they were lucky, they would still have a lifetime to be together.

"What are you thinking about, sweetheart?" Ianto's voice was soft in his ear, the question bringing a wry smile to his lips. He didn't want to talk about his thoughts. Not here, not now. And they were thoughts that Ianto didn't need to know about.

He didn't have to tell Ianto just what his thoughts were. And he didn't have to hold onto those thoughts. He might be alone in the future, just as he'd been in the past -- but he wasn't alone now. He had to remember that, and live in the moment.

"I'm thinking about how glad I am that I'm not alone -- and that I'm sharing this with you," he whispered, turning his head and closing his eyes as their lips met. It was good not to be alone -- and with any luck, he wouldn't have to think about that for a very long time to come.

***