Title: Live For Today
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 11
Prompt: 50, Destiny
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor relaxed back into Ianto's arms, letting out a soft, contented sigh. How was it that every time they made love seemed to get better than the last? Not that it had ever been bad between them, he mused. He didn't think it ever could be.

He and Ianto seemed to have a rare understanding between their bodies that he'd never found with anyone else, not in all the centuries of his long life. Not only their bodies -- but their hearts and souls, as well. It was just another part of the bond they shared.

His eyes closed as Ianto's mouth lowered to his, savoring the gentle kiss. Had anyone else ever treated him this way, as though he was something precious and rare that they treasured above all else? If anyone had, he couldn't remember it.

Ianto had been his destiny from the moment he'd been born. He had no doubts about that -- even though this young man hadn't come into existence until centuries later.

"What are you thinking?" Ianto's voice was soft in his ear, the question asked in a husky, almost wistful tone. "I wish I could read your mind sometimes. It's hard to tell what's going on in that brain of yours, even as well as I know you."

The Doctor shifted slightly, getting more comfortable before he answered his lover's question. "I was thinking that .... even though you were born so many centuries after me, we've always been each other's destiny. There's no other explanation for the way we've bonded."

Ianto nodded, looking thoughtful as he contemplated the Doctor's words. "I believe you're right, love. How else would we have come together the way we did, if we weren't meant to be with each other? And what's more, the pendants prove it."

The pendants. He'd almost forgotten about those, though he wore his all the time. He'd never taken it off, not since the day that he'd given one to Ianto and slipped the other around his own neck. Yes, they could definitely be seen as proof of the extraordinary bond the two of them shared.

"Yes, they certainly do." The Doctor couldn't help smiling as he lifted his pendant to look at the smooth opaline surface; it was pulsing, glowing softly, the iridescent colors seeming to swirl into each other. "There was no one else I would even have considered giving it to."

"That means a lot to me," Ianto murmured, brushing soft lips across the Doctor's forehead. "I know you've cared for other people -- to be placed first on that list is an honor."

"I wouldn't ever deny that I've cared for a great many people since I've been alive, Ianto." The Doctor's voice was soft, a little regretful. "But you're the first person who I've known I could spend my life with and be completely happy."

That wasn't entirely true, he told himself with an inward sigh. He'd said the words before to so many people, though he hadn't spoken them aloud to Ianto. His lover could spend the rest of his life with the Doctor -- but the Doctor couldn't spend the rest of his life with Ianto.

As much as he wanted to be like humans, to be able to dedicate his entire life to one person, that wasn't the way being a Time Lord worked. His life span alone guaranteed that he would always be set apart from the human race -- even, in many ways, from the man he loved.

It was just one of the many things about his race that he desperately wished he could put aside -- but that was impossible. He couldn't change what he was; he had to live with that, and learn to make the best of it.

Ianto seemed to have noticed his sudden change of mood; the young man sat up straighter, a slight frown crossing his features as he spoke. "Is there something wrong, Doctor? You look like a cloud just settled across the sun. Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

The Doctor shook his head, wishing that his emotions didn't show so clearly on his face. He had to learn how to hide his feelings at times, if only for Ianto's sake.

Shaking his head slowly and searching for words, he finally replied to his young lover's question after turning it over in his mind for a few moments. "No, love you didn't say anything wrong. I just .... wish that I was more like humans, that's all."

"Why would you wish that?" Ianto's frown had grown even deeper, and the Doctor could almost swear that he could feel the other man's heartbeat starting to grow faster and more agitated. "You're wonderful exactly the way you are. I wouldn't change a thing."

"Ianto, I ...." He wanted to explain, but how could he do it without somehow making his lover sound somehow .... inadequate? Which he wasn't, not in the slightest. But Ianto would never believe that, and he didn't know how to put what he felt into words.

"What is it, love?" The worried tone was gone from Ianto's voice now; it was all softness and concern, one hand cupping the Doctor's cheek, tilting the Time Lord's face to look up at him. "If there's something wrong, I think I have a right to know about it."

"It's nothing that we can do anything about, Ianto." The Doctor sighed, deciding that he had to tell Ianto what was on his mind. After all, he loved this man. There was no reason to hide anything from his soul mate. No reason at all.

But could what he was thinking hurt Ianto? That was one thing he wanted to avoid at all costs. He knew all too well how easy it was to cut someone with words ....

Taking a deep breath, the Doctor tried to organize his thoughts into the words that would be least likely to be misunderstood. "Ianto, I .... you know that my life span is much longer than yours. And that I'll .... probably be around long after you will."

Ianto closed his eyes, swallowing hard as he nodded in answer. "Yes, I know. I think about that a lot -- but, Doctor, there's nothing we can do to change that. We just have to make the most of the time that we have. You've taught me that."

"You can spend the rest of your life with me, love, and you know that I want you to," the Doctor continued, feeling his throat starting to constrict, the words having a harder time coming out. "But I can't spend the rest of my life with you, as much as I want to."

"I know that, too," Ianto sighed, tightening his arms around the Doctor's waist. "I try not to think about it. There's no use worrying about the future. If we do that, then we'll overlook what we have in the here and now, and we should live for today."

The Doctor turned his head, resting his cheek against Ianto's shoulder. "You're right, I know. I shouldn't be thinking about what we don't have -- but what we do have. You're my destiny, Ianto. It doesn't matter if we'll be together forever. We can make our own forever."

"We were destined to be with each other, even if it's only for a short part of your life," Ianto said softly, gently brushing the Doctor's hair back from his face, his fingertips trailing over the Time Lord's soft skin. "Nothing can change that."

"I've known that since the first time I found you in the Tardis," the Doctor said, smiling. "It seems that she knew even before I did."

"Of course she did," Ianto answered, a small smile tugging at his lips. "She let me in to leave all those notes and flowers, didn't she? She knew we were meant for each other. Or else, she was tired of you always looking for your soul mate, when he was right there."

"I'd choose the second option," the Doctor said, pushing away the disturbing thoughts of a few moments before. Ianto was right. He didn't need to worry about the future. They were here today, and the present was what mattered.

They were destined for each other. He'd known that from the first time Ianto had kissed him; there was no reason to think that their forever couldn't last as long as possible. He didn't need to think about how they would end -- not when they'd only begun.

"So would I," Ianto laughed, shifting their bodies so that he lay next to the Doctor, taking the other man into his arms. "And I think that we ought to have a go at proving her right, don't you?"

The Doctor barely had time to nod before Ianto's mouth was on his, but he was sure his lover knew that he was in wholehearted agreement with his words.

***