Title: Almost Lover
By: amy. j x
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
AN: The Title and Lyrics are from Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy. I really recommend listening to it, as it's so beautiful. Anyway, I was inspired to write a nice little angst-y song fic when I was listening to the song.
Summary: Ianto's leaving, so he writes Jack a letter. Slight Jack/Ianto. Set post season one, but is AU for season two.

***

Your finger tips across my skin
the palm trees swaying in the wind;
images.
You sang me Spanish lullabies.
The sweetest silence in your eyes;
clever trick.

I can remember a time when everything seemed so perfect. You would hold me, and the world just seemed right, as if the death and destruction we witnessed on a daily basis had just disappeared. When you whispered sweet nothings in my ear I could forget about everything. About Lisa, about Torchwood about all that was wrong with my life. The way you touched me would send shivers down my spine, and goose bumps would form on my pale skin.

But that was then.

I never want to see you unhappy.
I thought you'd want the same for me.

If you were ever unhappy, it would claw at my chest, cold hands gripping my heart and a small voice inside my head urging me to make everything alright. I thought it was the same for you.

You're obviously just a good actor.

Goodbye my almost lover,
goodbye my hopeless dream.
I'm trying not to think about you,
can't you just let me be.
So long my luckless romance,
my back is turned on you.
Shoulda known you'd bring me heartache.
Almost lovers always do.

Now you've left, it's although a part of me went with you, and the numbness that surrounds me won't go away. Owen's words keep ringing in my ears. Was I just a part-time shag? Just the tea-boy? I always thought you were different, that you didn't just see me as the secretary. All I wanted was to be a part of the team, recognised and not just taken for granted. But even more I wanted to be a part of your life, for you to love me like I loved you.

Well, goodbye Jack, I hope you had fun with the Doctor.

AN: You can interpret this however you want. I didn't want to write Ianto killing himself, but I wanted to leave it open for you to decide.