Title: Life's What You Make It
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 4
Prompt: 47, Life
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.***
Ianto rolled over with a contented sigh, spooning behind the Doctor and wrapping one arm around the sleeping Time Lord. Even though they'd made love hours ago, when they'd first gone to bed, he could still taste the Doctor on his tongue, still feel the tight heat of the Doctor's body around him. He couldn't keep himself from pressing his body against the Time Lord's backside, wondering if the Doctor might be awake.
But no .... the other man didn't stir in his sleep or awaken. Ianto smiled, raising a hand to run it through the Time Lord's tawny hair. He really didn't want to make his slumbering lover wake up, considering that the Doctor hadn't gotten much rest of late. But at least they'd managed to stay out of trouble, which was something of a miracle.
He couldn't keep his hands off the Doctor, even when the Time Lord was asleep. Ianto knew that he should close his eyes, try to settle down and get some rest, but it was impossible to do that when the Doctor was right here next to him, asleep and completely unaware of his young lover's scrutiny.
He loved looking at the Doctor like this, when he was oblivious to the fact that Ianto was watching him. The Gallifreyan looked so young and vulnerable when he slept, Ianto said to himself, reaching out a hand to trail gentle fingertips over the Time Lord's cheek. No one would ever guess just how old this man was ....
Ianto sighed softly, letting his eyes roam over his lover's face. He loved everything about that face -- in his eyes, the Doctor was perfection. The people he'd loved in his past were only vague shadows now that the Doctor was in his life and his heart -- even Jack, who he had thought he'd be with forever at one time, had faced into the background.
Of course, he still loved Jack; he just wasn't in love with the immortal any more. He had made his peace with their relationship ending before the Doctor had come into his life, and he had even accepted the fact that there would always be a bond between the Doctor and Jack. He didn't expect his love to give up his friends, after all.
And he himself still had a bond with Jack. They would always be close, always care about each other. But that was as far as it went -- Ianto's heart, body and soul belonged totally and completely to the man in his arms. No one could ever replace the Doctor in his life, and no one could ever be what he was to Ianto.
After Lisa, he'd thought that he would never find anyone to love again -- but then his feelings for Jack had grown and developed. He'd thought that they were the strongest thing he'd ever felt -- until the Doctor had come waltzing into his life and made him realize that everyone else he'd been with had just been an entr'acte, waiting for the curtain to rise.
He'd memorized every expression on the Doctor's face during the time they'd been together; he knew every freckle, every line on his face, every smile, every look in the Time Lord's eyes. Ianto was sure that if he had to identify the Doctor without sight, just by feeling the other man's presence near him, he could do it with no problem.
Ianto let his hand trail gently over the Doctor's bare shoulder, down his side to rest on his hip. He couldn't resist touching this man; seeing that perfect body lying there, pliant and vulnerable, made him want to take the Doctor into his arms and protect him, even when there was no immediate danger to protect him from.
He sighed softly, shaking his head. How long would it be before the Doctor was in some sort of dangerous situation? The Time Lord never seemed to be able to keep away from danger -- or rather, it seemed to follow him, dogging his heels wherever he went. Ianto couldn't help but wonder if it was some sort of intergalactic time-traveling curse.
But at least the man he loved wasn't out here alone, dealing with all of that on his own. Ianto was with him, and hopefully, things would stay that way. He couldn't bear the thought of the Doctor being alone again, having to deal with whatever might happen to come his way without having anyone to turn to, anyone to help him.
He would give his life for this man, a million times over if he had to, Ianto said to himself, gazing at the Time Lord as he slept. He'd thought that he had strong connections with the other people he'd be involved with, but his bond with the Doctor went far and beyond anything he'd ever experienced -- or had ever thought he would know.
He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment he'd fallen for the Doctor -- well, yes he could. The moment that the Time Lord had stepped into his office with Jack, and their eyes had met. He'd known them, somehow, that the Doctor was the man he wanted to be with. There had been an instant attraction that neither of them could deny.
Only for the Doctor, it hadn't been only an attraction, Ianto told himself, smiling in the darkness of their bedroom on the Tardis. He might not have known that Ianto was his soul mate from the very beginning, but he'd had a confidence about him that had drawn Ianto to him, and the young Welshman was sure that the Doctor had known they would be together.
Or had that only been a mask he'd worn, a facade that he'd put up to hide his very real insecurities? Ianto had seen that mask of self-confidence drop; he'd seen how vulnerable the Doctor could be, seen how the Time Lord's loneliness had cut to his very soul. He'd sworn that his beloved would never have to feel that sort of loneliness again.
He'd never known what real love was until the Doctor had come into his life. He'd thought in the past that he'd known love -- but nothing had ever felt like this, this all-consuming fire that seemed to flow through his veins like lava every time he looked at the Time Lord. This need to cherish and protect the other man, to be by his side every moment of every day.
Ianto propped himself up on one elbow, studying the Doctor's features. He loved that face; he loved the freckles, the tiny crow's-feet around the corners of the Doctor's eyes when he smiled, the dimples that flashed in that smile. He loved the long lashes, the deep brown eyes, the velvety pale skin, the sweetness of the Time Lord's lips.
And not only his face, but his body, too. Ianto wanted to throw back the covers and feast his eyes on the Doctor in all his naked glory, but he didn't dare. That would surely wake the Time Lord up, and he knew that the Doctor needed sleep. Their earlier lovemaking had exhausted him, even more so than usual, and Ianto wanted him to rest.
He didn't need to see that beautiful body to picture it in his mind's eye. The slender shoulders, thin chest, rosy-pink nipples, small waist, flat stomach .... the slight swell of those hips, the rounded curve of his ass, the long slim legs. The curving, almost feminine thighs -- and of course, the naughty bits as well.
The Doctor wouldn't be in this body forever; Ianto knew that, but he couldn't help dreading the inevitable regeneration. Would he still be in the Doctor's life when that regeneration happened? Or would he be long gone, only a memory for the long-lived Time Lord? Would there be someone else there, someone to love and cherish him as Ianto did?
No. He couldn't make himself believe that would be the case. He was the Doctor's soul mate; even Jack had told him that once the Time Lord mated, it would be for life. They had a bond that no one else could touch, and even if the Doctor was with other lovers after his passing, things wouldn't be the same. Ianto was sure of it.
And if he was still with the Doctor when he regenerated again -- would he be able to love a different body? Yes, it would still be the Doctor -- but that man wouldn't be his Doctor. He wouldn't look the same, and probably wouldn't be exactly the same. The personality changed somewhat with each regeneration, or so he'd been told.
He didn't want to lose "his" Doctor. As much as he hated to admit it, and as shallow as it sounded even to his own ears, Ianto wasn't at all sure that he could love another body, another man who would be the Doctor in some ways, but not in others. It might be only a body to the Time Lord, but it was more than that to Ianto.
Maybe he shouldn't be so fixated on that, he thought, sighing softly, his eyes lingering on the Doctor's face. Even if the Time Lord regenerated into a new body that other people might find more handsome, he couldn't imagine the man he loved being anyone else, looking any other way. It might be shallow, but that was how he felt.
They would have to talk about the possibility of a regeneration someday, he knew. But he hoped that it wouldn't be something they would have to deal with for a long, long time -- perhaps never. Besides, who was he to complain about that possibility? He would be old and grey and wrinkled and unattractive long before the Doctor would be.
Which brought another fear to his mind. The Doctor wouldn't age, not in the same way that he did, and not nearly as quickly. What if his aging face and body at some point repulsed the Doctor, made the Time Lord turn away from him? It was entirely possible, though given the way that the man he loved looked at humans, he didn't think it was very likely.
The Doctor wasn't like humans; physical appearance didn't matter to him as much as it did to the more visual race. The Doctor had fallen in love with him for who he was, Ianto reminded himself, not for his face or his body. The Doctor didn't love for superficial reasons; he loved from his soul, from the depths of his being.
His life had been lived in a very superficial way before he'd met the Doctor, Ianto thought, looking down at the Time Lord again. He'd told Lisa that he hadn't cared about how she'd looked when he was with her, but that hadn't been the complete truth. He was as susceptible to beauty as any other man, and at the time, he hadn't been ashamed to admit it.
But now .... being with the Doctor, he felt differently, or tried to, at any rate. Of course, it was easy to say that when he was in love with a man who he thought was the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid eyes on. But so many things about his life had changed since he'd met the Time Lord. He couldn't begin to count them all.
He was still with Torchwood, yes. But it wasn't the center of his life any more; it wasn't the end-all and be-all of his existence. He didn't throw himself into his work as he had before, and it didn't sting so much to feel that he wasn't really considered a full-fledged member of the team. He had more important things to occupy his mind.
Everything in his life had changed for the better the day the Doctor had walked into his life. Funny how Jack had seemed to realize that, even before he had. It was almost as though the immortal had brought them together purposely, knowing that life had a different plan for Ianto than anything he could have found with Jack.
That was a debt he owed Jack that he could never repay, he thought, smiling again and moving a hand down the Time Lord's arm. The Doctor stirred in his sleep but didn't awaken, instead turning over and snuggling closely against Ianto, his cheek pressed against the young man's chest, his thin arms sliding around his lover's waist.
Ianto looked down at the man in his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the Doctor's forehead and ruffling his hair. In spite of all the problems they'd encountered in the past, and the ones that he was sure they would face in the future, he knew that he was meant to be with this man, as incongruous as their relationship might seem.
He'd only been living half a life before he'd met the Doctor. Since they'd been together, so much had opened up to him -- and he'd discovered love. Real love, love that was going to last for the rest of his life and beyond. It was a terribly romantic thought, but one that he held close to his heart.
Life would be what he made it -- himself and the Doctor. He'd held himself back so much before he'd met this man; loving the Doctor had given him a freedom he'd never had before, and a need to push himself to new heights. Before the advent of the Time Lord in his life, he would have been afraid of doing that, shrunk away from it.
But now .... he almost felt as though he wasn't afraid of anything. Well, that was going a little far; of course there were things that he feared. But he'd been thrust into situations that he would never have thought he could cope with, and he'd not only dealt with them, he'd conquered them. With the Doctor at his side, loving him and encouraging him.
He wasn't quite sure just where they would be going, both in their relationship and in terms of actually going places. But he knew that whatever came to them in the future, his life was with the Doctor. He would have this man by his side, and that would give him the ability to face anything life threw at him, in his own world or in any other.***
- Main Torchwood slash page
- New stories page
- Jack/Ianto stories
- Ianto/Owen stories
- Other pairings stories - ie threesomes
- F/F stories
- Gen stories
- Amazon.com - Torchwood: Children of Earth
- Amazon.co.uk - Torchwood - Children of Earth [DVD] [2009]
- Amazon.ca link - Torchwood - The Complete First Season (7DVD)