Title: 51st Century Medicine
By: amuly
Characters: Janto, passing mention of Tosh
Word Count: 1,193
Rating: PG-13, maybe R
Summary: Ianto wants Jack to use a condom. Jack doesn't see the need.
Warnings: none
A/N: So, I wanted some sort of justification in my head as to why Jack and Ianto totally don't need to use condoms. And so I took a chapter from RTD's book and went with FUTURE. This was kind of meant to be a first time fic, since they're arguing about the condom and all, but then I wanted to get a feel for their banter, so it feels more like an established relationship fic. So...eh? Sorry?

Ianto writhed and panted beneath Jack as he stretched him. Still, Ianto prided himself on keeping his wits about him, even during the most…trying…of times. “Wait, one moment…” Ianto rolled over and reached an arm down the floor, where his pants lay. Ianto could practically feel Jack pouting at him, as he scrambled around in the pocket of his pants.

“Oh come on Ianto, I just want to be inside you.” Jack slid his hands up and down Ianto’s back, almost distracting him. But not quite.

“Sorry, but…” Ianto’s fingers closed around to object he was looking for, and he rolled onto his back again. Jack stared down at him and the object between his fingers, eyes narrowed.

“What’s that?”

Ianto stared pointedly back at Jack. “A condom.”

Jack blew out an exasperated puff of air, making the tips of his hair flop rather fetchingly in the process. “I know it’s a condom, Ianto. Why do you have one?”

Ianto, determined, maintained eye contact with Jack. He wasn’t about to back down on this. “Well, I thought you should wear it.” Ianto raised an arched brow and hoped Jack wouldn’t push the issue.

“Why? 21st century men can’t get pregnant, right? Oh no, if they can I have a lot of phone calls to make, child support to pay…” Jack’s expression turned mock-worried. Ianto fought to remain serious.

“No, no. But, on the note of all the phone calls you’d have to make…”

“Yeah?” Jack arched an eyebrow. Great. Now Jack was going to act like Ianto was being jealous and possessive. He always acted like that if Ianto tried to bring up Jack’s past conquests. Ianto forged ahead.

“Well, you’ve been around, sir.” Ianto prayed that Jack would just take the hint and wear the bloody condom.

“Yeah?” Of course Jack wouldn’t take the hint. He just continued to stare down at Ianto, that expectant and slightly irritated expression stuck on his face.

Ianto sighed. He supposed he would just have to come out and say it. “And, I...I mean…I wouldn’t want to catch any space-diseases?”

“Space-diseases?” Jack looked like he was going to start laughing. Ianto frowned. This wasn’t a laughing matter!

“Yes. STDs. You may be immortal, but I’m not.” There we go. Bring up his own mortality, that was the way to get Jack to agree to most anything.

Dawning comprehension broke on Jack’s face. “Oh. Oh! No, I’m clean.”

Ianto remained persistent. He could out-last anyone when it came to persistence, even an immortal. Then again, when that particular immortal was Jack, it was pretty easy to be more patient than him. “Well, you might think so, but even if you had a disease it probably wouldn’t affect you. But it could affect me. So just to be on the safe side, could you…?” Ianto waved the condom around, hoping against hope that Jack would just drop it and they could get on with what they were doing.

Of course he couldn’t drop it. “No, no, I mean I can’t have any diseases. We vaccinate to the point of elimination in the 51st century. Almost every STD was eliminated, and those that weren’t, we got vaccinated for. I could sleep with the entire population of Manhattan…”

“Not for lack of trying, I’m sure…” Ianto grumbled.

Jack gave Ianto a stern look. “Hey! I could sleep with all of Manhattan, which I won’t, because I have you, my jealous little Archivist, and not contract anything. I’m infinitely clean, thanks to 51st century medical tech. Now, if we could continue…”

Jack leaned down to suck on Ianto’s neck. As Ianto, almost against his will, arched up into the touch, Jack slipped his fingers back in. Ianto gasped, but tried to pull away. There wasn’t really much room on the cot for that though, and he didn’t get very far.

Jack seemed to take note of Ianto’s squirming. “Ianto…I want to feel you…” he whined into Ianto’s neck.

Ianto’s eyes glazed over a bit as he tried to consider everything Jack had told him. “You’re sure? You couldn’t have caught anything in the meantime? The vaccines couldn’t have worn off?”

Jack sighed and pulled back, staring down at the almost-but-not-quite debauched young man. “I’m never going to convince you am I?”

Ianto frowned for a moment, sorting through various lists in his mind. A moment later, a small smile transformed his face. “Actually, Captain, I just thought of something.”

“Oh yeah?” Jack leered and ground down onto Ianto.

Ianto bit down on his lip, but managed to remain composed. “You wouldn’t mind a brief field trip, would you, sir?”

Jack sighed. “Will it end in sex?”

“Almost definitely.”

“Without a condom?”

“Very possibly.”

Jack considered for a moment, staring down into Ianto’s eyes. Ianto knew he had already won the argument – it just took Jack a little while to realize it sometimes. “Alright, fine. Lead the way.”

Jack sat back on his heels on his cot, and Ianto crawled out from beneath him. Ianto picked up his pants, but only to tuck the condom back in the pocket and lay them over a chair in the corner. He then climbed up the ladder into Jack’s office, still quite naked. He could hear Jack following him, and soon the sounds of two sets of bare feet slapping against metal grating filled the hub.

Jack leaned into Ianto as the walked. “Not that I’m against exhibitionism, but what about the rest of the team?”

Ianto replied back sharply: “The alarm sounds anytime anyone comes in or out, it hasn’t sounded since Tosh left half an hour ago, and Tosh was the last to leave.”

“Good point.”

Ianto led Jack to the medical bay, walking down the steps into the autopsy arena. A few moments and a few shoved around objects and cables later, Ianto managed to pull out and turn on the biomedical scanner. “Here, just put your hand on the scanner.”

Jack grinned and hopped down the last few steps to stand with Ianto. “Oh, a medical scan. Clever Ianto.”

“I try my best, sir.”

Jack pressed his hand on the scanner and they waited a moment. One scan later and Jack’s biometrics appeared up on the wall. Ianto read through them quickly: Jack was right; he tested negative for all known STDs.

“Well Ianto, are you satisfied?”

“Very, sir. Now, I believe we were in the middle of something?”

Ianto started back up the stairs, but stopped when he noticed Jack wasn’t following him. He turned back and saw Jack staring wistfully at the scanner.

“You know, what do you reckon would happen if we had sex on…”

Ianto tried to keep the impatience out of his voice. “Perhaps some other time, sir?”

“Where’s your sense of adventure, Ianto?”

“I believe I left it in your bed. I think I’ll start the search there. Care to join me, sir?” Ianto raised his eyebrow suggestively, in an expression he knew Jack couldn’t resist.

Indeed, a moment later Jack was at his side, grinning madly.

“Alright, but only if you swear we’ll try it out sometime.”

“I’ll make a note of it, sir.”