Title: Memories
By: suise69
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: frt
Brief Summary: Sort of a missing scene from "Adam", at least, something that I felt was missing.
Notes/acknowledgments: A big thanks to my bates, Anne and Python for their hard work. Please remember all mistakes are mine, as they did their best.
Archive: Yes to WWOMB, anyone else please asks.

Jack walked into Torchwood, his mind fixed on the thoughts of that memory. A memory that he had so nicely locked away in that box. The one that was pushed back into a deep, dark place with so many others in front of it, hiding it from the light of everyday thoughts. A memory that could interfere with the work of saving earth and the human race.

A memory that had been buried for one hundred and fifty years and now was ...out. A memeory of guilt, of losing his grip on his little brother's hand. Or of letting go? A memory of looking...searching... running...of sand...of running for home in desperate hope. A memory of despair...of finding his father lying in the sand, then seeing blood, realizing he's dead...the loss of hope. Then a noise, a brief flicker of hope as he sees his mother. Only to lose it...the shared loss of her husband and his father. A heartbeat later and her eyes are searching for his little brother...looking to him for the answer.

"Where's Gray?"

"I had his hand", my looking down at my empty hand, "I didn't feel him let go."

The guilt and despair wash over me at the look in her eyes as the words sunk in, all the way to her heart. The knowledge of my mother losing both her husband and her youngest son, her baby are overwhelming.

Jack is backed away from that place...away from Adam...away from the memory of John's words as he left, "I found Gray."

The movement of Jack's body showed the overwhelming guilt, the desperation , the need to run...to escape the memories...to escape Adam... to escape here...to find safety.

Jack continued his slow but steady movement into a place of safety, Torchwood. His mind still locked in it's own world but with each step that Jack took you could see the guilt, the despair and on his soundless lips, why now.

Jack stopped. His eyes blinked as if the sun was rising at dawn. Then something ...slowly something moved in past the memories, past the loss, past the guilt. A feeling, a call, a need to reach for Jack. It pulled at him. It made him look up, look around, search for the call, the need and the sound pulled him to it.

Ianto breathed, softly the sound slipped out. "Jack", with more despair "Jack."

Jack's eyes fell on the need, his heart reached for the call and his body followed close behind. Jack pulled Ianto into his arms. Ianto's look shoved that memory back, as here and now his lover needed him. A fact the shown clearly in Jack's eyes. The changes in Jack's stance revealed his feelings as the words coming from Ianto, made no sense. Jack pulled Ianto tighter to him as he was overwhelmed with the desire to prove the words wrong, he embraced his collapsing lover.

The failure of the truth machine showed momentarily in the slight bend of Jack's shoulders. Jack snapped back as he saw the defeated look in Ianto's eyes.

Jack's words to Ianto held the knowledge of what he knew in his soul, Ianto could never do what he remembered. Those brutal killings were beyond anything in his lover's nature. Sure he could kill to protect, to save someone but it always cost him. Jack knew, he had bandaged the tears in his lover soul each and everytime. So there was no way those memories were really Ianto's.

The Jack moved to Ianto. He voiced only part of the thoughts that flowed through his mind as scenes from the last few days flashed... Ianto, as he first saw him...Adam coming out of nowhere...that memory returning, now?...Gwen walking in but not knowing Adam, one moment then Adam's hand on her shoulder and she remembered him, the next moment... then forgeting her new husband... caused by stress?

The stance of Jack's body now screamed "'No", he knew now that something was wrong, very wrong.

Jack put Ianto on the chair making him stay.

Jack's eyes flickered as he forced himself to look back to the start of that memory and then how all of a sudden Adam was there. A hand on his shoulder and Adam's word. "Remember."

Jack's fingers danced over the keys as his mind started picking up of the pieces as he searched for the proof. The scenes flowed across screen from the CCTV. He scanned the records moving backwards through the last two days. Locked each important scenes in place until he had it all; and each time it was Adam, his hand and "remember."

Jack grabbed Ianto and made him watch as Adam forced the memory into Ianto. Soon both men were going through the records and saving to a locked location all the proof they would need. A location that would be out of Adam's reach.

The rest began to arrive with not more than a moment to spare. A breath, two, maybe ten with the act of normalacy...then the flip.

Jack with a gun to Adam's head, the noises and confusion. Tosh pointing her gun at Jack and moments later; Ianto holding her and having control of the gun. Jack taking Adam to the cells.

Next they are in the conference room in what seems like a quiet and controlled state. But that is far from the truth. Then Jack is talking, moving them to the truth of the situation, taking each one
to the moment and Adam's touch, making them recall it. Next, moving them back pass that, farther into their own memories. Each one lost in their own world. A pill, sleep, and Adam will be gone.

With four heads down on the table Jack walked out of the conference room

Aware of the power that Adam had even over himself Jack moved quickly to remove all evidence of Adam. First he downloaded all the proof then deleted all files from the systems for the last two days, going back to when they last said goodbye to each other, to a time before Adam.

With the evidence in his hand Jack moved quickly to his office there he pulled out three envelopes from the cabinet and a few sheets of paper. First is a detailed explanation of contents of the files, folded nicely and placed in the envelope marked "Adam's file" along with the downloads. Second is a written explanation, short and to the point of what happened to the files for the past two days. This is place in one mark "Only if you can't leave the lost files of the last two days alone."

And last Jack writes out all the memories that he can remember of his childhood. Mostly the happier ones but adding the sad, hard to handle ones also. When this is done, he sits back and reads through it then folds and places it in the one marked "Jack's childhood." Then he reached into the desk for his special box and added the envelope to the contents, placed it at the bottom.

A deep breath and a new thought finds Jack writing a fourth note and taking one more envelope out. On it he quickly writes, "Open only if Ianto acts strangely."

Down to the safe and Jack quickly puts the envelopes into their new homes. The first is added to the back box, the box that's almost never opened. The second and last one are added to the front pile, a place that is checked whenever something strange, well strange to Jack that is, happens.

Jack pulled on his coat, looked at his TimeAgent watch. A touch or two then a flash and he outside Gwen's. Moments later he's dealt with Rhys, slipped him the pill and gilded him to lie on the couch. And at last, he returned to Touchwood for the last part of the demise of Adam. The cover-up all taken care of.

With his pill in hand, Jack goes to see Adam. Just as Jack appeared to fall under Adam's control, he pulled back...back just in time! Jack's eyes flickered with the knowledge of the words in the box, even as he knew all childhood memories would be gone from his mind

A pill, sleep and Adam is gone.

Now things seem back to normal. But Jack knows something very dangerous has happen or he wouldn't have woken up in the cell area, outside an empty cell.

Back in his office Jack found Ianto's diary laying on his desk. He read it while he waited for the rest to wake up, a smile here, a grin there and laughter now and again. Jack handed it back Ianto with a comment and a sparkle of mischief...this won't be his last time to read it.


The end