Title: Moments of Love
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 3, letter100
Prompt: 3, New Year
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Dear Doctor,

Another year has gone by, and it's hard to believe that I've spent it entirely with you. Here on the Tardis, time doesn't seem to have nearly as much relevance as it did when I was on Earth, living my life to the rhythms of a clock.

Ever since you've come into my life, it's been as though time has ceased to exist for me. Which is odd, considering that you're a Time Lord. You'd think that I would be more aware of time because of being with you, not less observant of it.

But there are a lot of things about being with you that are different from how I thought they would be. Not different in a bad way, not at all. Just not what I'd expected -- though, to be honest, I really didn't have any expectations of what life with you would be like.

It would be a bit crazy for me to have any specific expectations, wouldn't it? After all, there was no way I could know what it would be like. Even if I'd ever talked about you with Jack, which I didn't -- not much, anyway -- he'd never have given me serious answers to any questions I had.

He always kept his life with you private, and I don't blame him for that. I suppose that I'd have felt a bit jealous if he'd talked about you a lot.

At the time, I thought he was my destiny, and that I was going to spend my life with him. Even though I knew that Jack wasn't the type of man to be faithful, and that he'd eventually tire of me, I still had to hold on to that belief and ignore reality.

I found out quickly enough, though. And I can't say that I'm disappointed that I did. If I hadn't, then you and I would never have come to be -- and I'd have missed out on the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'd have lost the love of my life.

I think that a part of me knew how much you were going to mean to me that first time our eyes met, the first moment I laid eyes on you. And as strange as it might sound, I think that Jack knew it, too. He made sure the path between us was clear.

He's given in to some jealousy along the way, but I can't say that I blame him for that. You're the most incredible man I've ever met, and I'm sure there's a part of him that feels the same. I can't help feeling that he does regret giving you up.

But I'm glad he did, obviously. He knew enough to know that you two weren't fated to be, that he wasn't your soul mate or the man you were meant to be with. He might have been surprised that I'm that man, but he's never tried to deny it.

Why am I talking about Jack when I should be talking about us? I don't know; it's just that my thoughts have gone to the life I left behind quite a lot lately.

No, I don't regret leaving that life at all. At first, there were some pangs of regret, but they melted away very quickly. I'd much rather be out here in the stars with you, facing any kind of danger, than on Earth wondering if you were going to come back to me.

That was always the hardest thing about being left behind; wondering if you were all right, not knowing what might be happening to you. That, and wondering if the same man would come back to me, the same man with the same love in his hearts.

It was so hard for me to let you go every time you felt that you had to leave, even though I knew you were only trying to protect me. Every time I had to give you that freedom, it got harder and harder for me to believe you were coming back.

I held on to that belief, but there were times when I could feel it slipping away. Was that selfish of me? It might have been, but I admit to being human and being weak. I'm just glad that kind of question isn't a part of our lives any longer.

Now it's a new year, the start of a new decade on Earth. But somehow, that doesn't seem nearly as significant as it would have if I was still a resident of my home planet. Yes, it will always be my home, but not in the same way as the Tardis is my home with you.

We've been together for what seems like such a long time in some ways, and only moments in others. And I know that we'll be together for much longer. For the rest of our lives.

I don't want you to let this letter make you melancholy; I don't want you to focus on the fact that I'm human and that I can't be with you for the rest of your life. The most important thing is that we're together now, and that we need to make the most of that time.

Time has always seemed like such an important factor to me; before you came into my life, I'd always measured everything I did by minutes, hours, days, and so on. But with you, time doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that I'm with the man I love.

I never felt that way about Jack. I spent a lot of the time we were together worrying over when I would see him again, if he would be there for me, and all the other little things it's so easy to worry about when you're unsure of a relationship.

None of those worries exist with you. Maybe they should, because I know that our time isn't going to be your concept of "forever." But it's hard to think about that when you're in my arms; I can only think of all the moments of love that we share, now and for the rest of our lives.

Time doesn't apply when it comes to love. That's one thing you've taught me, Doctor. Whether we're together in this realm of being for another day, or for decades to come, it won't matter -- because our hearts and souls will always belong to each other.

That's what I intend to remember all through this new year, and through the rest of the years I hope I'll be spending with you. That those years are only the beginning for us, and that what we have is going to last throughout eternity, whatever the future might bring.

Love always,

Ianto

***