Title: Of Mouse and Men
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5
Prompt: 40, Mouse
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto pressed his palms to the desk, one on either side of the Doctor's hips. He wore a satisfied smile, almost a slight smirk, as he studied the Doctor's face. The Time Lord's cheeks were flushed, hair disheveled, lips passion-swollen. To Ianto, he'd never looked more beautiful.

Leaning down, Ianto brushed a kiss against his love's mouth, placing soft fingertips against the Doctor's chest to feel the Gallifreyan's twin heartbeats. They always thrilled him, made his own heart swell in response to their rhythm.

"There's something a bit naughty about doing this here on the desk," he murmured against the Doctor's mouth, strong arms sliding around his lover to pull the Time Lord closer against him. "Perhaps it's because I always feel that anyone can walk in on us at any time."

The Doctor glanced towards the door, a wicked little smile on his handsome features. "And would it matter so much if they did?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow at his lover.

Ianto couldn't help smiling; he loved the Doctor's lack of inhibition, his lack of conventionality. It was something he himself didn't have much of, though being with the Doctor had made him loosen up quite a bit. Everyone -- especially Jack -- had commented on that lately.

"I think it bother them more than it would us, beloved," he laughed, resting his elbows on the desk. He didn't want to let the Doctor get up -- it would be fine with him if the Time Lord remained naked on the desk, letting him drink in the sight of that bare body sprawled out in front of him.

"Shall I saunter out to the main room for a stroll, then?" The Doctor looked up at Ianto with an exaggerated look of innocence on his face. "It is getting a bit stuffy in here ...."

Before Ianto could voice an opinion to that question, the Doctor sat bolt upright, eyes widening, nearly head-butting Ianto in his haste. The young Welshman's eyes widened as well, a soft gasp coming from his lips. The Doctor had actually let out a little squeak.

"What the ....?" Ianto didn't finish the sentence before the Time Lord had pushed him out of the way, sliding backwards on the desk, his eyes frantically searching the floor.

"What on earth are you doing?" Ianto couldn't hold back his bewilderment, his mind moving in several different directions at once. What was possessing the Doctor to act so strangely? Was it some kind of alien sickness that was suddenly manifesting itself?

"Is it there? Can you see it?" The Doctor's eyes were earnestly searching the room, riveted on the floor behind the desk.

"Can I see what?" Ianto was completely mystified as to what the Doctor was talking about.

"A mouse ran over my foot!" The Doctor sounded, to Ianto's ears, more outraged than frightened. "A shaggy, four-footed, squeaking mouse!"

Ianto wanted to burst out laughing; the idea of the Doctor, his Doctor, being frightened of a small mouse was one of the funniest things he'd ever heard of. However, the start of his laughter was cut short as he caught sight of a small, furry body scuttling across the floor.

"Agh!" The Doctor shrieked, standing up on the top of the desk and looking down at the floor -- so he, too, had seen the four-footed menace. "Ianto! Get it! Kill it! Kill it a lot!"

The Welshman was almost doubled over with laughter at the look on the Time Lord's face, the near-feminine screaming note in his voice.

He wasn't laughing a few moments later when the door to his office burst open and Jack, Tosh and Owen came running in.

Ianto's first reaction was to cover himself with his hands, sitting down quickly in the chair behind the desk. That took care of covering him; they couldn't see his nudity unless they came around to his side of the desk, and besides, he was safely positioned under it at this point.

However, that didn't help the Doctor, standing nude on top of his desk.

Jack's look was one of appraisal, and then approval; Tosh had gasped and covered her eyes -- but was now peeking through her fingers at the Doctor with wide eyes. Owen, on the other hand, was trying to look everywhere but directly at the two men who'd obviously been engaged in something, well, rather secretive.

"Oh, for god's sake!" he snapped. "Get a room, you two!"

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a room," Ianto shot back, irritated be the tone of Owen's voice. "My private office, in fact."

"He does have a point, Owen," Jack drawled, leaning against the door frame and studying the Doctor with a slow, frankly sensual gaze. "And I happen to think the view in here is pretty damn good."

Ianto blushed, annoyed that Jack could look at his beloved in such a way.

"You've had your turn," he muttered, unable to keep the jealousy from flaring in his heart.

"Indeed he has," the Doctor said, his eyes still scanning the floor anxiously. "And it won't come 'round again. Sorry to say, Jack, but that boat has sailed."

"Why on earth were you screaming like a banshee?" Tosh managed to get out, trying not to look at the Doctor and failing. Her eyes were still wide, her gaze unable to make it quite all the way up to the Doctor's face.

"A mouse ran over my foot!" The Doctor looked around at the four of them, straightening up and resting his hands on his slender hips, seemingly unaware of the fact that he was stark naked. He wore an indignant expression, as if the mouse had no right to exist in the same world that he was in.

"Oh, my god." Owen ran a hand over his face in exasperation. "I thought that you were at least being murdered by rogue Weevils."

"Nothing so peurile, my dear boy." The Doctor made a face, still not moving from the desk. "I loathe mice. Vile, heinous creatures."

Jack arched an eyebrow, his lips twitching. Ianto could tell that his former lover was trying his best not to laugh -- and he wasn't going to bet on how long Jack could hold his mirth in. He'd seen that twitch too often before to doubt that Jack would be snorting with laughter within minutes.

"We should try to find the mouse and deposit it outside," he said swiftly, throwing a frown at Jack, a warning not to laugh. "That is, after the two of us have a bit of privacy to get dressed ....?"

"Just what were you two doing undressed, anyway?" Jack's lips were twitching dangerously close to full-blown laughter.

"Do you have to ask?" Owen cut in, rolling his eyes. "I think that should be fairly bloody obvious. In the office, no less!"

"We might have to take part in a little talk about that, Ianto," Jack said, heading for the door. "But for now, we'll give you two five minutes to get dressed before we start searching for that mouse."

"Thank you," Ianto muttered under his breath, feeling a burning blush suffuse his face, starting at his throat and creeping upwards.

Jack turned around and grinned at them both. "The least you could have done was invited me to join in."

With that, the other three Torchwood team members left the office, Tosh casting one last glance -- was that a wistful look on her face? -- back over her shoulder.

Ianto groaned, lowering his head to his hand. Dammit, now he had a headache, on top of everything else.

"I am not coming down from here until that mouse is gone." The Doctor sounded petulant, almost childish. "I'm staying right here, until I've seen proof that it's no longer in the building."

Ianto regarded his lover, sitting back in the chair. "Well, then you can get dressed on top of the desk, and I'll make sure that your feet don't touch the ground when you get down."

"And just how will you manage that?" The Doctor's eyebrows arched upwards in question, his pique over the mouse momentarily forgotten.

The young man smiled up at his lover, his expression similar to the teasing expression Jack had worn right before he exited the office. "Oh, I think I can manage it somehow."

Within moments, the Doctor had complied with Ianto's words and scrambled back into his clothes, as had his younger lover. Ianto regarded the Time Lord with an amused gaze, in a much better mood now that the worst of his fears that his teammates would see him in a compromising position had passed by.

"Sit down on the desk," he said softly, watching as the Doctor obeyed him.

He slid one arm under the Doctor's knees, the other behind the Gallifreyan's back, lifting the slender form into his arms and carrying him out to the main room of the Hub. Heading for the first sturdy table he could see, he sat the Doctor down on it, then turned to Jack.

"All right, we need to find that mouse and get it out of here. Otherwise, he may never set foot on the floor again."

"That might be a blessing," Owen muttered without turning around.

Ianto shot him a look that by rights should have had him resting ten feet under a very cold burial plot.

"Oh, do you mean this mouse?" Jack asked casually, turning around to dangle a small brown bundle of fur with claws in front of Ianto's face. The Doctor made another squeaking noise, instantly leaping to the top of the table and holding his hands out in front of him, as though warding the rodent away from his immediate vicinity.

"Get that thing away from me!" His voice was high-pitched again, and Ianto could see Jack biting his lips in an effort not to laugh.

"Consider it gone." Jack headed for the door of the Hub, a slight chuckle escaping him. "Though if we get to see that kind of view again, I might think about letting a whole horde of mice loose in here one day."

Ianto raised his eyes to the sky. Only Jack would come up with something like that, he told himself, making a mental note to make it clear to Jack that those sexual remarks about the Doctor weren't appreciated.

The Doctor looked over at Jack, a frown on his face. "Just get rid of it!" he demanded, sounding for all the world like a small child.

Jack turned and went out, his laughter floating back to them through the open door, chortling and obviously not trying to hold it back.

"A mouse!" they all clearly heard him say, his voice coming back to them through the outer chamber. "He's afraid of a mouse! Not Daleks, not any other aliens .... but a mouse!"

The Doctor looked towards the door and stuck out his tongue.

That did it. The laughter that Ianto had been trying to hold back since the first advent of the mouse erupted, sending him into uncontrollable giggles.

In a few moments, Tosh had joined in, and even Owen couldn't keep from laughing along with them. Ianto looked towards his lover, holding out his hand to the Doctor.

The Time Lord got down from the table cautiously, still looking daggers at the door. "He'll not have the last laugh," he said, wrinkling his nose.

Ianto pulled his love close against him, pressing a kiss to the Time Lord's tawny hair and murmuring into his ear.

"Please, no pranks here in the Hub, beloved," he said softly, wondering just what the mischievous expression that had replaced the Doctor's slight scowl could mean. Nothing good, he was sure.

The Doctor turned to look at him, that wicked smirk back again. "You'll be surprised at just how inventive I can be when I need to, my love."

Ianto wasn't sure that he wanted to find out.

***