Title: Written All Over My Heart
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: R
Table: 3, 50ficlets
Prompt: 15, Cry
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.***
The Doctor was silent as he and Ianto stood at the Tardis' console looking at the viewscreen, seeing the shattered remnants of a planet that, only a few minutes ago, had taken its place in the universe along with all of the others.
It didn't seem possible that an entire planet could be destroyed so quickly -- and so completely. Ianto had been shocked at the suddenness of it -- one moment the planet was there, and the next it was nothing more than shards drifting in the atmosphere.
All of those people on the planet -- gone. Simply evaporated into the fabric of the universe, never to be seen again. Had he really witnessed that from the safety of the Tardis? Ianto asked himself, feeling numb at the realization. Had he really watched an entire world come to an end?
Yes, he had. And it was becoming increasingly hard not to break down in tears over what he'd seen. But it had to be worse for the Doctor; after all, he'd seen this before, and seeing the same thing happen again had to be breaking his hearts.
He glanced at the Doctor, who was standing stoically beside him. The Time Lord had witnessed things like this many times over the course of his life; how did he deal with it? Was he feeling the same sense of loss that Ianto was, or did he somehow get used to this?
The Doctor was staring at the screen with an intense, concentrated gaze. But Ianto could see that his eyes were filled with tears; they would spill over at any moment. He knew the Doctor too well to doubt that they wouldn't.
"This was my fault," the Time Lord whispered, his eyes still on the viewscreen. "I didn't get here in time. If I had .... maybe I could hae somehow stopped this. I should have known something was happening. I should have listened more closely to my instincts."
Ianto shook his head, moving closer to the Doctor and sliding an arm around the other man's waist. "It's not your fault, Doctor," he murmured, wishing that he could give his lover more of an assurance than that. The words could only sound empty and meaningless.
The Time Lord's small fists clenched at his sides; tears were starting to slip down his cheeks now. "Yes, it was," he said, not taking his eyes from the viewscreen. "I should have been able to prevent this, Ianto. I should have done something."
"What could you have done?" Ianto countered, his heart going out to the Doctor. It was so seldom that he saw his lover cry -- and when it was because of something like this, Ianto's soul ached for the Time Lord. He wanted to make everything better, but he knew that was impossible.
"I don't know." The Doctor's voice was barely a whisper; it was obvious that he was trying to hold back his tears, but he couldn't. "But I should have been able to stop this. An entire world died, Ianto. An entire world. So many lives -- just .... cut off."
Ianto turned to the Time Lord, wrapping the other man in his arms and pulling him close. He could feel his lover's tears soaking the shoulder of his t-shirt, but he didn't care. All that mattered was finding some way to comfort the man he loved.
"You don't have to cry, sweetheart," he whispered, stroking the Doctor's soft hair and hoping that some of what he was saying would get through to the Time Lord. "You didn't know what was happening. This can't be blamed on you in any way."
"I know," the Doctor sighed, raising his head from Ianto's shoulder. "It wasn't my fault -- I'm aware of that. I didn't cause it. But I can't help feeling that if I'd only gotten here a little sooner ...." His voice trailed off as he raised a hand to wipe away his tears.
Ianto shook his head again, desperately wishing that he could turn back time and make this never have happened. But that was impossible; all that he could do was offer his lover what comfort he could, and let the Time Lord cry on his shoulder.
"I don't know what to say, Doctor," he said, feeling lost for words. "Anything I can say just sounds like so many words -- even though I mean them. I don't think that I can say anything to take away your pain. I'd do anything if I could, but I can't."
To Ianto's surprise, the Doctor nodded, taking a deep breath and sliding those thin arms around his waist. "They're not just words, Ianto," he said softly, resting his forehead against the young man's. "It means a lot to me that you're trying to say them."
Ianto smiled through the tears that were starting to fall, pulling the Doctor closer against him. He might not be able to bring his lover as much comfort as he wanted to in spoken words -- but the Time Lord could always read the words that were written all over his heart.***
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- Amazon.com - Torchwood: Children of Earth
- Amazon.co.uk - Torchwood - Children of Earth [DVD] [2009]
- Amazon.ca link - Torchwood - The Complete First Season (7DVD)