Title: Need
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: NC-17
Table: 2
Prompt: 39, Need
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

***

Jack woke with a start, eyes flying wide open and staring into the darkness of his room on the Tardis. It wasn't often that he woke like this, but he'd thought it would be best for him to keep to his own room after what the Doctor had been through during their time in medieval England. He didn't want to make the Time Lord feel as if he was being pressured into anything that he wasn't ready to give of his own free will.

He'd ignored his own growing needs for the past few days, unwilling to let his feelings out and make the Doctor feel as if he somehow owed Jack anything. The Doctor owed him nothing. He would have rescued the other man from that dank, damp dungeon even if there had been nothing emotional between them, only a strong friendship.

But the fact remained that he wanted the Doctor, wanted him with a gnawing need that centered in the pit of his stomach and never quite went away. He had a hard time keeping his hands off the other man's body, even when the Doctor was fully clothed and the last thing on Jack's mind should have been how much he wanted to throw the Time Lord down on the nearest flat surface and take him, any way that he could have him ....

Jack turned his head restlessly on the pillow, sighing in frustration. How much longer was he going to have to hold himself back before the Doctor made some move to indicate to Jack that he was ready to have a lover in his bed again? It was driving him crazy to have to sleep alone, away from the Time Lord. And he was fairly sure that the Doctor needed him, too, even though the other man would never say so in as many words.

He'd already rushed down the corridors separating his sleeping quarters from the Doctor's more than once in the few nights since he'd gotten the Doctor out of that situation, responding instinctively to the terrified scream he'd heard coming from the Doctor's room. He'd arrived there to find the Time Lord cowering in bed, whimpering, curled into a fetal position with tears streaming down his stricken face.

The Doctor hadn't responded when Jack had sat down on the bed and taken him into his strong arms, murmuring soft words meant to comfort and reassure the other man. He'd been too far gone into a nightmare that still enveloped him, only coming into reality after Jack had held him for a long time. Then he'd spent the rest of the night clinging to Jack, sobbing in his arms, begging Jack not to leave or to let him go.

Of course he wasn't going to leave, Jack told himself, squeezing his eyes shut as the tears pricked behind his own eyelids. He'd never leave the Doctor when he was in this condition; and, if he wanted to be honest with himself, he knew that he'd probably never leave. He loved the Doctor too fiercely to even contemplate the wrench of a goodbye.

How could the Doctor think he would ever leave? Hadn't he proved that he wasn't some fly-by-night who was going to disappear from the Doctor's life at the first sign of trouble? Jack shook his head, another sigh welling up within him. He wasn't some kid to be scared by the life the Doctor led. No, it was something he thrived on, something that he could throw himself into and match the Doctor's own exuberance with his own.

Besides, he needed the Doctor. Needed him not only physically, with a deep, burning need that seared him from the inside out, but emotionally as well. The Doctor was the only man who could fill the space inside him that he'd been craving someone in for so long. The Doctor was the only being, in this world or any other, who could give him what he needed.

Companionship that would last forever. A bond that wouldn't be broken, no matter what -- or who -- might try to tear them apart. And he wasn't the only one who needed that, Jack told himself. The Doctor was desperately searching for a companion who wouldn't leave, someone who had forever to give. Someone who wouldn't promise him something, give him that thin, gossamer thread of hope to hold on to -- and then cruelly snatch it away just when he'd learned to depend on it.

He couldn't stay here in this bed, wondering if the Doctor was sleeping soundly or if the other man might somehow need him. Jack got out of bed, pausing at the doorway to his room, trying to decide if he should don a robe or not before making his way to the Doctor's bedroom. No, he thought, turning to make his way down the corridor. The Time Lord had seen him naked often enough to not be shocked at his nudity.

Hell, they'd been sexually intimate often enough, Jack thought, almost cursing aloud when he turned a corner too quickly and his toe came into contact with one of the Tardis' walls. It wasn't as if the Doctor wasn't familiar with him in that way. A frown crossed his face, almost makign him stop in his tracks and reconsider going to the other man's room.

The Doctor would probably get the wrong idea about Jack's need to go to him in the middle of the night. He'd think that Jack wanted to use him -- just like the Master had always done. And he'd let Jack do whatever he wanted, without a struggle, without telling the immortal that he didn't want it. After the horrifying experience that the Doctor had so recently been through, Jack didn't want to make the Time Lord think that was the only reason Jack wanted him.

It bothered him that the Doctor had learned to turn his feelings off during sex, if he was honest with himself. He wanted to change that, wanted to make the Time Lord expect pleasure, not pain. So far, he'd only halfway succeed in that goal. He knew that the Doctor had enjoyed the times they'd made love -- but the Gallifreyan didn't instigate those encounters.

He reached the Doctor's bedroom, standing in the doorway and looking at the man in the large, low bed against the far wall. The Doctor looked impossibly young and vulnerable when he slept, he thought, leaning against the wall and letting his eyes roam over the slender, perfect body presented to his gaze. It was lucky for him that the Doctor had somehow managed to kick off all the covers -- and that the Time Lord slept in the nude.

His eyes took in every inch of that pale porcelain skin, every curve of that beautiful body he knew so well. The Doctor lay with one arm flung out, his face turned to the side, long lashes sweeping over his pale cheeks like dark silken fans. His chest rose and fell steadily with his even breathing, his lips slightly pursed with each exhalation. Jack could feel his own breath coming faster, his desire rising as he took in the physical details of the man he loved.

His eyes moved from the slender column of the Doctor's throat, down to the small rosy-pink nipples, the tiny waist, the flat belly, the curving, slender hips. His eyes wandered over the Doctor's flaccid cock, nestled against the tawny triangle of curls at his crotch, down the curvy, almost feminine thighs, the long slim legs. God, he was beautiful. Jack's breath caught in his throat, a moan almost making its way past his lips.

Dammit, he needed the Doctor. He needed to bury himself inside that beauty, gather the Doctor close against him, breathe all the loving words burning through his brain into the other man's ear as he thrust himself into that pliant body over and over. He needed to hear the Doctor's moans and gasps, needed to feel the tight heat of the Time Lord's body surrounding him, needed to fuse himself with the enigmatic Gallifreyan.

Moving as if in a daze, Jack made his way to the bed, sinking down next to the Doctor and reaching out a hand to stroke his fingers down the silken skin of his inner arm. The Doctor's eyes opened, dark and wide and searching, the other man's gaze boring into his own as if the Time Lord was looking directly into his soul. Jack didn't speak; he only met the Doctor's gaze with his own, sure that the other man knew why he was there.

The Doctor didn't say a word, either; he merely spread his legs, closing his eyes and turning his face away from Jack. The immortal could swear that he felt his heart breaking at the gesture; the Doctor was going to let him do whatever he wanted with him, not expecting to receive any pleasure from the act, not expecting Jack to even care whether he wanted this. He was offering himself up -- almost like a sacrifice.

Jack wanted nothing more at that moment than to find the Master, hunt him down like the monster he was, and strangle him with his bare hands. How had he managed to make the Doctor feel that sex would always equal being used and thrown away? Jack hated that the Time Lord looked on something that should be a highly pleasurable act with such fear. The Master must have abused him terribly for him to be so resigned, so detached.

If he could change that, then this was the time to try. Jack bent over the Doctor, placing a firm hand on the Time Lord's jaw and turning the other man's face to his. He moved to straddle the Doctor's hips, ignoring the slight whimper the other man let out, even ignoring the wince and the sudden widening of dark eyes that indicated the Doctor expected to be struck for committing such an offense.

"Whatever he did to you, let it go," Jack whispered, his lips hovering just above the Time Lord's delectable mouth. "This isn't him, Doctor -- it's me. This is the man who loves you, who just wants to make you feel good. Forget him, forget what he did to you. Forget anything he said -- it wasn't true, none of it. You deserve to get pleasure out of this. If you don't, then I'm doing something very, very wrong."

The Doctor laughed, a short, sharp sound. "My pleasure isn't a requirement for sex," he said bitterly, turning his face to the side again, refusing to look up at Jack. "I've learned that the hard way, Jack. Go on, do what you need to do. It doesn't matter if I enjoy it or not -- it's enough for me that you do."

"No!" Jack's voice was loud in the quiet darkness, too loud. "That's bullshit, and I don't want you to keep thinking that way. I can't force you to enjoy this, Doctor -- but I can tease you and seduce you and love you and make this as physically pleasurable for you as possible. And that's exactly what I'm going to do."

The Doctor closed his eyes, his body going tense and rigid under Jack's. The immortal felt a flash of irritation -- why couldn't the Doctor trust him enough to be able to relax and put the past behind him? Because he's been abused in a way you'll never understand, an inner voice told him, rebuking him for his thoughts. You can't even start to fathom the ways he's been traumatized. You're lucky he's letting you have him.

"Look at me," he said softly, turning the Doctor's face to his again. Those dark eyes opened, the fear in their depths twisting a knife in Jack's heart. He wished more than anything that he could make that fear disappear, that he could make the Doctor want sex in the same way that he did. He wanted to bring out the latent sensuality that he knew was slumbering in this man, touch something in him that no one else had ever found before.

"I'm going to make you feel better than you've ever felt," he whispered, leaning down so that his mouth brushed against the Doctor's parted lips as he spoke. "I'm going to find what turns you on, and make this the best night of your life. I'm going to make you come so hard and so many times you'll wonder why you didn't want this all along."

The Doctor only stared up at him, his eyes still filled with fear and trepidation of what Jack was going to do to him. The immortal looked down at the slender man under him, sliding his arms around the Doctor's waist and pulling the Time Lord close against the warmth of his own body, stroking one hand through his silken hair and murmuring into his ear.

"I need you," he whispered, his voice husky with longing. "I need you so much, Doctor. I need to make love to you. I need to feel you around me -- I need to look into your eyes and know you want me. I need to hear you cry out my name, I need to watch you come and know that I've taken you to heights you've never been to before. I need to be a part of you. I need to melt into you and not know where you start and I end. I need .... I need you to let me love you."

The Doctor nodded, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Jack's shoulders. "Then do it, Jack," he murmured, hiding his face against Jack's throat. "You have my permission. Love me, burn away the past. I ...." He gulped, the next words coming out on a sob. "-- I need to know what it's like to have someone be gentle with me. I need to know what it feels like to be loved, not used. I need you as much as you need me, Jack. Maybe more."

"You have me," Jack said softly, tilting the Doctor's head back and caressing the Time Lord's smooth cheeks with his thumbs. "You have me forever, Doctor, for as long as you want me. You have me, heart, body and soul. As much of me as you want, as much of me as you can take. You've always had me. You just didn't know it until now."

"I love you," the Doctor whispered, his gaze meeting Jack's. The immortal was startled to see the glisten of tears in the Doctor's dark eyes; the Time Lord had always tried to hold back his emotions, but now, Jack was sure that he was seeing directly into the other man's heart. Hearts, he reminded himself, placing one hand on the Doctor's chest and feeling those dual heartbeats against his fingertips. Hearts. Both of which he wanted to beat for him and only him.

Jack was speechless for a few moments, unable to answer the Doctor's declaration with one of his own. It took him some time to find words again, time for him to search the Doctor's dark eyes, to take in the desperate longing written in those fathomless depths. The Doctor needed to hear those words, he realized, needed to hear them more than he'd ever needed anything.

"I love you, too," he said softly, bending his head and covering the Time Lord's mouth with his own. The Doctor moaned into the kiss, his arms tightening around Jack's shoulders, pulling the other man down on top of him. He was finally letting go, Jack thought silently, finally giving himself permission to take what he needed. It was a small step, but one that the Doctor had needed to take. Jack only hoped that he would keep taking steps forward.

He couldn't hold back his own need for the fragile man under him, his hands roving over the Doctor's body with all the pent-up hunger that he'd needed to release for the past few days. Jack's hands moved down to the Doctor's thighs, spreading the Time Lord's legs and pushing them up to his chest, his mouth following his hands, his tongue trailing up those silken thighs, licking over the Doctor's balls before taking the other man's cock into his mouth.

He could sense rather than hear the Doctor's moan, feel the Time Lord's hands moving to his hair, those long fingers tightening and almost pulling. Jack pushed the Doctor's legs up further, lowering his mouth to lick over the Gallifreyan's puckered hole before pushing his long, strong tongue inside the other man, eliciting a groan from the Doctor that sounded as if it came from the depths of his soul.

Jack kept pushing his tongue in and out of the Doctor, judging how long he needed to stimulate the other man this way by the Doctor's soft moans and gasps. When he could feel the muscles in the Time Lord's thighs tighten, he sat up, pushing the Doctor's legs up over his shoulders and looking down at the other man. The Doctor's eyes were closed, his head thrown back, lips parted, cheeks flushed. He was everything Jack wanted, right there for the taking.

He knew it would hurt the Doctor momentarily when he was penetrated, but he hoped the sudden pain would only be momentary. For the first time in his life, Jack wished that he wasn't so well-endowed -- or that the Doctor wasn't so small and tight. Or that the Time Lord's body didn't return to a virgin-tight state after each time he was entered. Best to get it over with quickly, he told himself. The sooner he did, the sooner the pain would melt into pleasure.

Jack pushed his hips forward, penetrating the Doctor with one quick, hard thrust. He gasped, almost swooning at the feel of the other man's body enveloping him, the tight, searing heat wrapped around his cock. His arms tightened around the Doctor as he continued to thrust deeply into him, looking down at the man in his arms to see the Doctor's eyes clenched tight, his teeth digging hard into his lower lip.

"Doctor." Jack's voice was soft, but it carried a hint of command in it, a tone that he hoped the Doctor would respond to even in the midst of what he was feeling. "Look at me, Doctor. It's Jack. Your Jack. Not anybody else. It's me making love to you, not the Master, not any other man who's ever had you. Look at me, focus on me."

The Doctor obeyed, opening his eyes and staring up at Jack, his pupils wide, a gasp torn from his throat. His nails dug into Jack's back, digging into the immortal's skin, scoring trails down his shoulders. Jack barely felt the pain of those nails digging into his flesh. He was focused on the Doctor's tightness, the urgent need to give him pleasure, not pain.

"Jack ...." The Time Lord's voice was almost pleading, gasping his name. Jack kept thrusting into him, holding the other man's dark gaze with his own, not breaking their eye contact. He wanted the Doctor to associate the pleasure he was feeling with his face, with what they were doing, wanted him to keep Jack in his mind, in his senses. "Jack .... you .... oh god .... so good ...."

For a moment, they were a tangle of heat, hands, tongues, bodies; Jack closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of sex all around them, letting himself get lost in the feel of the Doctor's body. This was where he'd wanted to be all his life, he thought, all those lost years that he'd spent wandering around in time. This was what he'd needed. What he'd always been looking for, without knowing what he was after.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" Jack whispered, lowering his head to nip at the Doctor's throat. Whatever pain the Time Lord had felt when he'd been penetrated was obviously taken over by waves of pleasure now, his back arching, his hips pressing up into Jack's with each thrust, his long legs wrapped around the immortal's waist, ankles locked behind his back. He was moving in rhythm with Jack's thrusts, answering Jack's thrusts with his own.

"Yes," the Doctor gasped, dark eyes going wide. "Jack .... oh .... yes!" His cry was almost a scream, his nails digging deeply into Jack's flesh as he came, those slender thighs squeezing around the other man's waist with enough force to take his breath away. The Doctor's body was shuddering with orgasmic tremors, his breath coming in deep gasps, his eyes rolling back in his head, his body going limp in Jack's arms.

Jack's own orgasm followed only seconds later, reducing him to a quivering, spasming wreck for long moments. He could feel himself releasing into the Doctor, feeling the other man go tight around him in response, so tight that it felt as if his orgasm was being milked out of his body. He couldn't keep himself from thrusting into the Doctor a last few times, hungry for the feel of that tight body around him even as he rode out his climax.

Clasping the Doctor in his arms, he let himself fall to the side, not wanting to put his full weight on that fragile body locked in his embrace. He pulled the slender man into his arms, reluctant to pull out of him; no, he wanted to stay inside the Doctor as long as he could, buried inside that welcoming warmth, molding the Doctor's body against his own as if the Time Lord was becoming a part of him.

The Doctor was quiet in his arms, pressing his face against Jack's shoulder, his arms still wrapped around his lover's shoulders. Jack moved a hand over the Time Lord's hip, down to cup that tight, firm ass in his palm. A thrill went through him as his fingers brushed against the Doctor's entrance, stretched tight around his cock; if he wasn't in pain and wasn't asking Jack to pull out of him, that was definitely a good sign.

"Are you all right, sweetheart?" he murmured, brushing a gentle kiss against the Doctor's forehead. He hated to break the spell with speech, but he was anxious about his fragile lover; he needed to know that he hadn't inadvertently hurt the Doctor. His voice was tight with worry when he whispered his next words, dreading the answer. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

The Doctor shook his head, finally tilting his head back to look up at Jack. "No, you didn't hurt me, Jack. Well .... maybe a bit at first, but .... it was fleeting." A pink blush spread over his cheeks, and he buried his face in Jack's shoulder again. "I-I didn't expect it to be that good. I didn't think I could be that .... that abandoned."

"I'm glad you were," Jack whispered, tilting the Time Lord's face up to his own and pressing gentle kisses around his mouth. "You've needed to let go like that. And you've needed to find out that sex doesn't equal pain. I hope that's at least helped you realize that it isn't always going to hurt. Not with me. I'll never hurt you, Doctor. I'm not like any of the other men you've been with. I'm not just a lover. I'm the man who loves you."

"And I love you," the Doctor whispered, tears glinting in his eyes again, a single diamond-bright teardrop streaking down one porcelain cheek. "With all my hearts."

"That's all I needed to hear," Jack murmured, wrapping the Doctor in his arms and bending his head to kiss the Time Lord again. He wasn't sure just where this was leading them, but he hoped that he was finally on the right track with the Time Lord. It was a small step forward. Only a small one. But one that he hoped they could add to, and build a future with.

***