Title: Never Enough
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, 50ficlets
Prompt: 27, Help
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.***
Ianto glanced over at the Doctor, studying his lover's face as the Time Lord frowned down at the console. What was on the screen that had caught his attention? Ianto wanted to ask, but he wasn't sure it would be a good idea to break the other man's concentration.
Besides, it probably wasn't something he could help with, Ianto reflected with a soft sigh. He wasn't much good at coming up with viable plans for anything that might look like trouble; he was better at watching the Doctor's back, being there when he was needed.
Though he hadn't been doing such a great job of that lately, he chided himself, holding back another sigh. It seemed that every time they went out of the Tardis, he felt inadequate, as if he wasn't doing what he was here to do.
The Doctor had told Ianto that trouble seemed to follow him wherever he went, so the young man had expected that. What he hadn't expected was that he would feel so helpless at times, out of his depth, not knowing what they were getting into.
He'd never felt that way with Torchwood, even if it felt that the other team members had seen him in that light. They'd all acted as though he had no idea of what they were doing in the field -- and that he didn't fit in with them in that capacity.
Well, he had proved them wrong, Ianto thought, taking a deep breath. And now that he was in a different situation than he'd ever been in before, traveling in time and space and seeing places that he would have never dreamed existed, he had to adapt to it.
He was perfectly capable of watching the Doctor's back -- and his own as well. Yes, it might take a bit of getting used to, but he should be past the point where he felt unable to protect the two of them. He'd never felt so unsure of himself when he was working with Torchwood.
The Doctor probably didn't need his help, Ianto thought, looking over at the Time Lord. But he had it nonetheless -- and not only as a companion. He was the Doctor's lover, his soul mate. And that in itself meant that he was more committed to keeping this man safe than anyone else could ever be.
To his surprise, the Doctor was no longer looking down at the screen; instead, the Time Lord was watching him, a slight frown on his face. Ianto raised his brows in question, hoping that he hadn't had an expression on his face that had caused the Doctor worry.
"What is it, love?" the Doctor said softly, holding out a hand to Ianto. "I can tell when you're disturbed about something, you know. I may not be reading your mind, but I know you well enough to be able to sense when you're not at ease."
Ianto moved to the other side of the console to stand beside the Doctor, slipping an arm around the other man's slender waist. "I was just thinking that I wish I was more of a help to you," he admitted, not looking at the Time Lord. "I don't think I do enough."
It was the Doctor's turn to raise his brows, a surprised look on his face. "Ianto, that's not true," he said, frowning slightly as he turned to face his lover. "You do more than anyone could be expected to do. I know how much you worry about me, and watch over me."
"It's not enough," Ianto told him, shaking his head. "I haven't been able to keep trouble away from you -- and I constantly worry that I don't do enough. I should be more of a help to you, Doctor. If there's any way that I can do more, just tell me."
"Ianto." The Doctor raised his hands, placing them on either side of Ianto's face and staring into his lover's eyes. "You already do more than I could ever expect you to. Just by being here, and loving me the way you do."
Ianto had to swallow hard, trying to speak past the lump that had formed in his throat at the Doctor's soft words. "That's not enough, Doctor. It's never enough. I should be doing more than just being your lover and trying to watch your back."
"There's nothing more than I want you to do," the Time Lord told him, his soft fingertips tracing the outline of Ianto's upper lip. "The only thing you need to do to help is just .... be with me and love me. That's the most important help you could ever give me, sweetheart."
"That's very good to know," Ianto whispered, slipping his arms around the Time Lord's waist and pulling his lover close against him. "Mind telling me what you were frowning at on that screen, in case it's something I can help with?" he asked, waving a hand at the console.
"I don't mind at all," the Doctor told him, turning his attention to the viewscreen. "And believe me, this time, I can definitely use your help." They both leaned over the console as the Doctor began to speak, focusing on the problem at hand and what they could do to solve it.***
- Main Torchwood slash page
- New stories page
- Jack/Ianto stories
- Ianto/Owen stories
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- Gen stories
- Amazon.com - Torchwood: Children of Earth
- Amazon.co.uk - Torchwood - Children of Earth [DVD] [2009]
- Amazon.ca link - Torchwood - The Complete First Season (7DVD)