Title: It's Not the Night
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5, 50episodes
Prompt: 15, Night
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto sighed and hugged his arms around himself as he looked around the darkened bedroom, wishing that it was possible for him to fall asleep again, but knowing that he probably wouldn't. He had a tendency to stay awake once he'd been jolted out of sleep.

He'd never had problems sleeping before all of that trouble with the Master that had led to his and the Doctor's lives taking such an odd twist of fate had happened, he told himself angrily. Even without the disturbing dreams, he still woke up in the middle of the night now.

In so many ways, the night had always seemed comforting to him before. Now, there were times when it felt menacing. Instead of being a safe haven, a cover for whatever he might be trying to do, it felt as though there were monsters hidden there, waiting to jump out at him.

He'd felt like that when he was a child, too. He'd never been comfortable with complete darkness until he was older -- and even when he'd lived alone in London, he had still preferred to keep his curtains opened at night to let the street lights shine into the window.

If he was honest with himself, it really wasn't the night that was making him feel so unsettled, Ianto had to admit. It was the worries that seemed to stay in his mind, even without those dreams to keep him awake and make him feel nervous and tie his stomach in knots.

He couldn't help wondering and worrying about what the future held for himself and his lover. What if their changes weren't permanent? What if they thought that they were more than they actually were, and let their guards down because of that?

And what if doing so led to a tragedy that separated them long before should be? His heart clutched in his chest at the thought; he didn't want to think of losing the Doctor, not so soon after he nearly had. That was a thought that made his blood run cold.

He didn't have thoughts like this in the daytime, Ianto thought with a sigh. Only at night, when it was dark and the night around him seemed menacing in some undefined way, did his thoughts turn so dark and his worries intensify until they wanted to choke him.

It was silly for him to pay so much attention to those worries, Ianto chided himself. They were unfounded. There was no reason for him to believe that he and the Doctor would be anything but immortal now; there was no sense in worrying about something that might never happen.

But still, after so many months spent fearing that something could happen to the Doctor to cause him to regenerate -- or kill him -- Ianto found it impossible to let those worries go completely just yet. He still felt strange in his immortal body, as though it didn't quite fit.

How long would he feel like this? he asked himself, leaning back against the pillows and trying to relax. If he didn't start feeling more at home with what he was soon, they would have to go back to Torchwood so he could have a long, serious talk with Jack about how to deal with all this.

Thank goodness he had Jack to talk with, he thought wryly. If he didn't, there was no telling what kind of shape he'd be in. He would probably have let himself worry to the point where he'd be such a nervous wreck that he wouldn't be able to step outside of the Tardis.

He didn't really want to get out of bed; he didn't want to go out into the darkness, even though he knew that feeling was foolish. They were here on the ship; nothing could hurt him here, nothing would come leaping out at him unexpectedly from the darkness.

It's not the night that makes me feel like this, Ianto told himself, trying to keep his inner voice firm with conviction. It's everything that we went through. I haven't recovered from it yet, and my old childhood fear of the dark just makes it worse at night.

He had to get himself past this, Ianto thought, looking over at the Doctor to be sure that he hadn't woken the Time Lord with his movements. But no, the Doctor was still sleeping peacefully, a slight smile on his lips as though he was having a pleasant dream.

Ianto couldn't help smiling at the sight; it was a good thing that at least one of them could sleep and find peaceful dreams. He himself hadn't dreamt in a while -- or if he had, he couldn't remember what those dreams had been about.

Maybe that was a good thing, he reflected wryly. He could still remember bits and pieces of the dreams that the Master had caused -- and if any of those memories tried to sneak into his dreams now, he didn't want to remember them at all, in any way.

He really should get up and walk around the Tardis, or maybe go take a hot shower. That would probably relax him enough to send him back to sleep -- or at least make him feel less restless, less like his nerves were strung so tightly that they were at the breaking point.

Just why was he so restless? Was it some kind of sixth sense that warned him danger could be looming near them? Was this another residual ability that he'd acquired as a consequence of becoming immortal? Or was he just being paranoid?

There was really no way to know -- not until his suspicions were confirmed and something dangerous did happen to cross their path, or until some time had passed and nothing had pulled them into some bad situation that they had to fight their way out of.

If only he could shake these worries, convince himself that there was no need for them. But they scurried around in the back of his mind, convincing him that there was something underlying their good fortune, something that they needed to be wary of.

What was it that the Doctor had said about not looking a gift horse in the mouth? That was exactly what he was doing, Ianto admonished himself. But he couldn't help it -- all that had happened, and the outcome of it, seemed far too good to be true.

There had to be a catch somewhere -- especially considering that all of his good fortune had come, even though indirectly, from the Master. Nothing that was involved with that monster, or caused by him, could have a completely happy outcome. He was sure of it.

But then again, the Master's plan had obviously been something very different. He'd been trying to get rid of the two of them -- or at least one of them, Ianto thought with a sigh. It had been more that obvious that he had wanted to get rid of Ianto above all else.

If he had succeeded .... Ianto couldn't suppress a shudder at the thought. Not only would he be dead, but worst of all, the Doctor would be alone and vulnerable, the person who he'd bonded with taken away from him, leaving him a hollow, empty shell of the man he'd once been.

And once he was in that state, it would be all too easy for the Master to victimize him -- which was what that evil bastard had been aiming for. He wanted to weaken the Doctor to the point where the Time Lord couldn't fight back -- and wouldn't even want to.

He didn't want to think of his lover in that kind of a situation. With any luck, it would now never come to pass -- after all, the Master's plan had failed, and Ianto had achieved immortality. He would always be by the Doctor's side, to help him combat the Master in every way.

If that bastard had thought to leave the Doctor helpless and vulnerable, to take away his will to live, then he'd failed miserably, Ianto said to himself. Instead, he'd put himself up against a team that was even more formidable in their unity than they'd been before.

It was the night that made all of these sinister thoughts come to him. It had to be. He never felt like this in the daytime; he was always brighter, more confident, more hopeful. He simply had to try to go back to sleep, and wait for the night to pass.

Sighing again, he curled up under the covers, pulling them up over his bare shoulders and sliding his arms around the Doctor. He needed to sleep, and he was sure that being beside the man he loved and holding him in his arms for the rest of the night would him to achieve that goal.

***