Title: Owen's Last Goodbye
By: Anduria Trianys
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the fictional universes or characters. I'm just borrowing them temporarily for a bit of a laugh.
Warning: AU - COE didn't happen
Note: Right, just to give you a bit of context - this is almost a continuation of 'I Don't Want to Hear Any More', but it's a year on (exactly) from the events of 'Exit Wounds (so, the first anniversary of the deaths of Owen and Tosh). Jack Retconned himself two months after the events (to forget the last five years at TW 3) and ended up at Torchwood Four, which I put in Dublin. Ianto spent five months trying to find him and brought him back to Cardiff.
Summary: It's a year on from 'Exit Wounds'. Ianto is at home and he makes a rather interesting discovery.

***

Ianto Jones was making coffee. It had been a quiet day at the Hub, for once, and so he had gone back to his house. Jack had sent him a text message a short while ago, saying that he needed to finish some paperwork, but he'd be over as soon as he could.

Ianto snorted. If he knew Jack – and he liked to think he did – paperwork would take him at least a couple of hours to finish. Even with Ianto helping him, it always took far longer than it should. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that Jack kept on disturbing him.

"Perhaps without me there to be distracted – or to distract him, if he's to be believed – he might actually get it done quicker." As soon as he said it, Ianto laughed at himself. Jack was physically incapable of finishing paperwork quickly.

"Although," he said to himself, "he might use me as an incentive to do it."

Still, it might be wise to have plenty of coffee ready, just in case he did have to wait all night for his partner. Normally, he wouldn't have done it, but tonight was different.

It had been a year since two of their colleagues, Toshiko Sato and Owen Harper, had been killed in the line of duty, ten months since Jack had Retconned himself and left Cardiff and five months since Ianto had found him at Torchwood Four, in Dublin. Jack hadn't been able to live with the guilt that his own brother had killed one member of his team and brought about the death – again – of another. So, since he couldn't stay dead, he had decided that forgetting and starting over was the answer.

Ianto had understood why Jack had left that time; now, he was working on convincing Jack that what ha happened was not his fault. But it wasn't easy.

Because he had taken enough Retcon to have forgotten the last five years at Torchwood Three, Jack had not had the time to grieve for Owen and Tosh that Ianto had. In fact, he had gone from not even knowing who they were to suddenly remembering everything, from their recruitment to their deaths, in the moments that Ianto had pressed that simple while cotton handkerchief into his hand and joined him in his singing that night that he had found him in Dublin.

Sometimes, even though he knew that it hadn't taken much to convince Jack to come back to Cardiff, Ianto couldn't help but wonder if he had done the right thing. He would give anything to see the older man smile and laugh again – properly – but now, sometimes he just looked so…broken.

Sighing, Ianto took his cup of coffee and sat down on the sofa. He picked up a book, which he soon realised was an old copy of the 'Iliad' – and the page he had marked was at the moment of the death of Patroclus.

He wondered, then, what Jack would have done if he had been killed instead of Owen or Tosh, and shivered as he saw his partner on a bloodthirsty rampage, just like Achilles, before confronting and killing his brother – just as Achilles killed Hector.

Ianto sincerely hoped that Jack wouldn't have killed Gray if it had been him who had died in his arms instead of Tosh. He knew that the older man was competent enough to do it, but as he thought about it, he realised that he wouldn't do it – he couldn't.

But it didn't mean the thought didn't scare him.

He read on, until he came to Achilles' reaction to the terrible news of the death of his companion. Even though he had already suspected the truth, it didn't make it any easier to bear. And Ianto knew exactly why.

"He lost the one person who truly understood him," he muttered. "That's the hardest thing in the world to have to go through, especially when you're a hero."

He had seen it already with Jack; being a hero wasn't all it was cracked up to be, because everyone saw you as the one who would save them, never bothering to look behind, at the man.

But before he could dwell any more on that, he was distracted by a bleeping sound coming from his laptop. He leapt up, ready to deal with whatever was coming his way, when he saw that the sound was the announcement of a message.

Curious, he clicked on it – and his eyebrows shot into his hairline. He choked out a laugh of disbelief and tried to turn away, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen. This was so strange – and yet it was so familiar.

He was so caught up in what he was seeing that he didn't hear the door open and started when he felt Jack's arms snake around his waist.

"Hey," he whispered. "I've finished my paperwork."

Ianto blinked and finally managed to turn around, having finally regained the power of speech. "Who," he said softly, "put the Rift on Google Earth?" He raised an eyebrow at his partner, waiting for the admission that it was him.

However, this time, Jack smiled sadly. "Oh, so you found it," he said. "Well…Ianto, this time, it wasn't actually me."

Ianto stared at him. "It wasn't you?"

"No, it wasn't." Jack sighed. "Ianto, I think…I think this is a last goodbye, one year later." He gave a watery chuckle. "And it fits him so well too."

He suddenly looked so sad and worn out that Ianto had to look away. As he did so, he suddenly recollected what he had been reading earlier and a terrible realisation shook him, causing his stomach to twist when he looked back at Jack.

Jack may not be able to die, but the look on his face when he saw this final shade of their friend reminded Ianto that he was really the most vulnerable of them all – and it wasn't in spite of the fact that he couldn't die. It was because he couldn't die. Suddenly, any reluctance or fear that Jack had about revealing the depths of his true feelings towards him made perfect, heartbreaking sense. Jack knew that, one day, Ianto would die as well, and that hurt him – but it wasn't for his own sake.

"What is it?" asked Jack suddenly. "You look troubled."

"Nothing – well, not nothing, really; I just realised something."

"Go on, tell me."

Ianto sighed. "Jack Harkness, you are one of the most selfless men I've ever met."

"No – no, I'm not."

"Yes, Jack, you are. I know that you've been thinking about what will happen when I die. But you're not thinking about what it will do to you." He looked at him. "I didn't realise it before, but I think I understand now. You don't have to hide it any more."

Jack sighed. He'd kept this quiet for far too long; he just hoped he'd never have to have this discussion – or, at least, not for a long time.

"You're right," he admitted. "I'm thinking about what knowing that you'll die and leave me behind might do to you. I don't want to hurt you, Ianto, but I'm terrified that I am. I know that you're hurting because you know that, when you die, it will break my heart – and I don't want to be the reason why you're upset. You know that the thought of losing you terrifies me every day, even though –"

"Jack, stop it," interrupted Ianto, squeezing his hand. "Listen; I know that the idea of losing me hurts you and scares you – and yes, knowing that one day you're going to lose me does break my heart in some ways. But there's nothing we can do about it. We've just got to make the most of the time we've got together."

He paused thoughtfully. "But – Jack, unless you walk out on me, you will never break my heart. Leaving you alone might, but you never will. That much I promise you."

Jack smiled slightly. "Thank you," he whispered, "for being there, for listening – and for making the effort to see me – the man behind the mask."

"It's what I'm here for," said Ianto simply.

Later, as they sat on the sofa, wrapped in each other's arms, Jack suddenly began to laugh. Ianto started in surprise at the sound; he hadn't heard a proper laugh from Jack in the five months since they returned from Dublin.

"What?" he asked.

Jack smiled. "I just thought – putting the Rift on Google Earth was brilliant."

"It really was." But it probably wasn't brilliant for the same reasons that Jack meant. Ianto was delighted that something had finally made Jack laugh and smile for real.

He had just never thought that it would be Owen's last goodbye.

***