Title: Pain Is The Only Feeling
By: Jennie-x
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Series: 1) Your Life And Mine
Note: This is my first story that has ever had a beta reader so I would like to say a huge thank you to Chloe who did a great job correcting all my grammar and general stupid mistakes, and more importantly for adding a very nice Gwen bashing line :)
Warning: Gwen bashing
Summary: Ianto has to deal with being an empath, and eventhough Jack told him he would be there every step of the way. He can't help but feel like he's going through this alone.

***

Jack watched as Ianto ran towards the young girl as he dealt with the weevil that had attacked her, and which had got pretty close to killing the young child. If they had been a second later Jack was sure Ianto would be cleaning up the girl's blood splatter now instead of having a warm hand around the crying child.

Jack Sedated the weevil that appeared to be stronger than most and put a bag over its head though the damage of his face had already scared the girl senseless. He threw the weevil into the back of the car before making his way over to Ianto.

"It's going to be okay, you're okay." Ianto whispered soothingly as he rocked the child, an empty bottle of water that was held in his hand told Jack that the child had already been dosed with the amnesia pill. "Where's your mum or your dad?" Ianto asked, a hand softly stroking the girls red hair. On closer examination the girl seemed to be around ten,wearing torn jeans and a tight hooded jumper.

"I live with my Uncle David." The girl sniffed, seemed to be calming down slightly. "He wanted me to get some milk for his coffee." She pointed to the corner shop that she hadn't quite made it to. Ianto held her closer as she started to cry again. "He'll be mad if I don't get his milk." She mumbled.

"Let's go get him some milk, and then I'll take you home yeah?" Ianto asked. Jack smiled as the girl nodded into his shoulder, "My name's Ianto." Ianto introduced himself.

"Jessica," The girl said smiling slightly, "You're my hero." She said as he helped her into a standing position. Ianto smiled slightly, and felt her grip onto his hand, "The man who attacked me, he was a bad man." The girl summarised.

"But he can't get you now." Ianto said, not aware that Jack was watching with an amazed smile on his lips. "You're safe."

"Safe with my hero." The girl smiled.

Five minutes later, Ianto walked out of the shop the girl firmly attached to his hand, she was holding a chocolate bar in her other hand, and Ianto was holding the bag with what appeared to be milk in.

"Everything okay?" Jack asked as he approached them.

"Just taking her back to her uncles," Ianto smiled softly at the older man.

"I'll wait by the car." Jack told him and Ianto nodded. Ianto walked with Jessica to the housing estate across the street, she talked aimlessly along the way. Ianto paying attention to every small detail, she spoke like a normal girl her age but Ianto could tell that behind the beautiful eyes she was far from happy. He knocked on the door as he felt her grow tired, the pill taking its affect.

"Who the hell are you?" A tall, big built man with a stubble on his chin spat once he saw Ianto. Ianto could feel the anger from the man, his head aching slightly as the fear from the child started to wave in. "Well?"

"My name is Ianto Jones. Your niece got attacked I thought I should bring her home." Ianto spoke quietly, wondering whether they could call this a home. From what he could see the flat was tiny; mess was every where and he couldn't see anything for a ten year old to occupy themselves with.

"Well now you brought her here, you can go." The man hissed, pulling Jessica by the hand and pushing her into the house, the door slammed shut before Ianto had the chance to do or say anything. He was left on the balcony, as the girl's flat was on the third floor, his head aching as mixed emotions ran through him. He made his was back to Jack, hoping that he would understand what was going on.

"Yan, you okay? you look terrible." Jack said the minute he saw Ianto, he wanted to retort with a witty comment, but his head felt as though it was going to explode, he held onto Jack for support as he struggled to keep his eyes open. "Yan, talk to me." Jack said, his tone stating that it was an order. The concern was too much for Ianto and he willingly closed his eyes, hoping the darkness would make everyone quiet around him.

-x-

Ianto woke up in a bright room. White walls, white tiles, and silver objects were around him. He knew where he was; the autopsy bay. Slowly he sat up only to be pushed back down by strong hands which belonged to Jack. "You okay?"

"Head ache." Ianto said quietly, though head ache was an understatement,

"What happened?" Jack asked, while Ianto let his mind wonder back to the night's event. The weevil and the girl. He felt his body shake as tears soon fell from his eyes.

"She was so scared." Ianto said as, his body gave way to the sobs that were now breaking through. "Jack, we have to save her."

"Yan, we saved her from the weevil, remember you took her home," Jack said softly, running a hand through Ianto's tangled hair.

"We need to save her from him." Ianto said determined. "He was so angry at her, always so angry"

"Yan, who's angry?" Jack asked. Nothing Ianto was saying was making sense.

"Her uncle. Jack she was so scared, he pushed her into the flat, I should have stopped him, but she was so scared," Ianto continued to cry and Jack slowly understood what was going on.

"Do you remember where she lived?" Jack asked gently feeling Ianto nodding into his shoulder. "We'll tell the police okay? then she'll be safe."

"Promise?" Ianto asked, hie eyes looking pleadingly up at his Captain.

"I promise." Jack said, "I'll go do it now, you need to rest, take these" Jack leant over to the table grabbing two pills and a glass of water. "I'll be back in a minute." Kissing Ianto on the forehead quickly, Jack moved away and headed to his office.

He knew today was going to come, but a part of him wanted it to be later rather than sooner. Though he had noticed the small changes in Ianto a while back, being there just before he was needed, knowing if Jack needed to be on his own or if he needed company, but Ianto hadn't seemed to acknowledge it, or if he did he just hadn't spoke about it.

Jack did as he promised; telling the police who he was and telling them what was going on without telling them anything at all, they told him they were going to take care of it. Moving back down to the autopsy bay he saw Ianto huddled in the corner, his head hiding in his knees. Jack rushed over to him, wrapping him in his arms.

"Its so loud." Ianto cried. "Make it quiet Jack; please you have to make it quiet." Owen walked down two mugs of coffee in his hand. Once seeing Ianto in such a state he ran over to the younger man, and sat like Jack on his other side.

"Bloody hell what's happened?" Owen asked.

"Stop it, just stop it." Ianto screamed, startling Toshiko and Gwen who had just walked in.

"Jack, what's going on?" Gwen asked looking at Jack with a worried expression. Jack didn't answer her; he was more bothered about Ianto than Gwen wanting to know everything about anything.

"Yan, I want you to focus on me okay." Jack said strongly.

"Will you make it stop?" Ianto asked his voice showing his desperation reminding every one just how young he was.

"I'll make it stop Ianto." Jack said soothingly, moving closer to him Ianto allowed himself to be pulled into an embrace.

"Jack, what happened?" Owen asked, a little gentler this time.

"I can't explain it." Jack said when in fact he knew exactly what was going on."It's not my place to explain either," He added. "I need some of your strong painkillers. And then I need you all to leave, I'll take care of everything here."

"Jack, is he okay?" Toshiko asked softly.

"He will be." Jack promised, feeling Ianto hold on closer to him as Owen approached with the painkillers.

After ten minutes the painkillers Jack had already given Ianto had started to take an affect and Ianto started feeling slightly drowsy. So Jack had led him into the hatch. "Jack, it's the empath thing isn't it?" Ianto asked as Jack helped him remove his jacket. He then rested him down onto the bed as he snuggled close to him, wrapping his arms around him.

"Yeah, but remember you're not alone okay." Jack whispered as he slowly stroked Ianto's hair, he heard a satisfied moan from Ianto's lips, and the younger man leant his head on his chest.

"I'm scared." Ianto said after a few minutes.

"You've nothing to be scared of; I'll help you through it." Jack kissed Ianto's head and watched as his eyes slowly fell shut.

Jack watched Ianto throughout the night. He had moved away from the comforts of the older man and was now huddled in a tight ball at the other side of the bed. As the bed was so small it meant that Ianto was hugging the wall, but when Jack had moved to give him more space Ianto had pulled him down next to him.

Jack knew it had everything to do with his ability as an empath; he wondered what he could feel when Jack was near him. He only hoped that it wasn't the pain he felt himself, he wouldn't wish his feelings on any one especially the man he loved.

Ianto woke up to find that Jack was sat on the floor, but a hand was draped over his body and he was lying comfortably in the middle of the small bed. "Good morning." Jack smiled.

"Why are you on the floor?" Ianto asked curiously, sitting up and dragging Jack up and back onto the bed.

"You decided I would be more comfortable down there." Jack smiled wrapping an arm around him. "How you feeling?"

"Fine." Ianto smiled, and then saw the look in Jack's eye. "I'm fine honestly, everything feels normal."

"You sure?" Jack asked looking into Ianto's eyes, please to see that he wasn't lying. Ianto smiled and pulled Jack into a passionate kiss.

"I missed you not sleeping next to me." He whispered kissing him softly.

"How about we fall asleep again and then I'll stay next to you all day." Jack grinned and kissed Ianto roughly.

"But I'm not tired," Ianto mused, "Unless..." His sentence was cut off as Jack started to kiss him again.

***

Jack woke up with a small smile on his lips, he hardly ever slept but Ianto made him feel as though it was okay to sleep, and the thought of waking up next to the young man was an added bonus to why sleeping was a good thing to do. He looked down to see Ianto sleeping soundly, unlike before where he was huddled in a corner far away from Jack, he was snuggled close, so close they were practically on top of each other but Jack didn't mind, as long as Ianto was safe and by the small smile on his lips he was happy, so was Jack.

A few moments later Ianto woke up, his eyes hazy with sleep as he blinked a couple of times before his eyes adjusted to the poor lighting in Jacks sleeping space, even though the main area of the hub didn't have any windows, the lighting and air in the area never seemed to bother him, but Jacks sleeping space was dark and the air was ragged, Ianto knew if Jack wasn't lying next to him he would never be able to get to sleep in such a small space.

"Morning." Jack smiled rubbing the fallen hair out of his lovers eyes.

"Morning." Ianto replied sleepily, rolling over so he was no longer on top of Jack, for a minute Jack thought it was because of headaches or he was being too loud inside of Ianto's head, he was relieved when he felt arms snake around his waist.

"How are you feeling?" Jack asked softly, staring intently into the deep blue eyes of the man he loved, searching for any sign of pain.

"I'm fine." He smiled back, and Jack felt safe that he was telling the truth.

"We should get up," Ianto sighed after a few minutes of peaceful silence.

"Yan, you going to be okay to work?" Jack asked hoping he wasn't giving his lover the wrong impression.

"Yeah I'll be fine." Ianto promised.

"If something happens, if it gets too much I want you to tell me okay." Jack said strongly like he had told him countless times before, but that was before anything had actually happened.

"Promise." Ianto smiled and placed a soft kiss on Jacks' lips.

-x-

"How are you feeling Ianto?" Owen asked the minute he walked in, he didn't take it to soundly that he was sent home last night when the young man clearly needed a doctor, in his eyes any way.

"I'm fine," Ianto smiled, he had been asked that question three times so far and was glad that Owen was the last person to walk in the hub. "Honest it was probably some sort of anxiety attack, I got them a lot when I was a kid,"

"If you're sure." Owen said though he wasn't convinced, he knew he'd have to talk to Jack.

The day continued slowly, Ianto found himself in the tourist office most of the day. He smiled as tourists walked in under false pretences but his background history of the area was good enough for him to pull of the role as a friendly tourist guide.

At half two he walked into the hub to do his normal cleaning routine, Jack was standing on the stairs talking to the team, he flashed a smile at Ianto who returned one back just as eager, he didn't bother listening to the conversation he found it easier to only listen when he was spoken to or when he was needed, and from the stance of his boss he knew Jack was just trying to pass the time by talking to the team.

"How's your day going?" Jack asked as he followed Ianto into the kitchen.

"Slow," Ianto replied, "And yours?"

"Even slower." Jack smiled. "I was thinking tonight, we could go out for dinner, I don't think its healthy eating all this take out."

"But we're likely to be going to a place where the food they offer is the same as the take out we would have ordered." Ianto reasoned.

"Yes, but it would be healthier because we'd be walking to get the food, or at least walking from the car to the entrance." Jack grinned, making Ianto smile softly.

"Can't wait." Ianto smiled. Ianto grabbed a black bag from the cupboard and walked out of the small kitchen, knowing that Jack's eyes were trained on him.

"Hey Yan, couldn't make us a cup of coffee could you mate?" Owen called over. "Only this report is making me want to jump off a bridge, and I need some of your magic to turn me around."

"Owen, are you feeling okay?" Ianto asked with a raised eye brow, as he walked over to the medics table to retrieve the empty mug.

"Why?" Owen asked as he tapped the pen on the table a clear sign of his anxiousness, Ianto peered over his report, it was for Unit on an alien he had recently autopsied, no wonder the poor man was stressed.

"Usually you asking for coffee is just, Ianto, coffee." Ianto smiled and walked back to the kitchen.

"Thought I'd try something knew, what do you think being nice suit me?" Owen grinned, glad of the friendly chatter that was slowly helping take his mind of his report.

"Honestly, its quite scary," Ianto replied and started making the coffee, he decided he might as well make fresh cups for every one, then at least he would have something to do even if was only washing up used dishes.

Ianto walked back into the hub a light headache coming on, he took a deep breath and handed out the coffee, "Thanks." Owen smiled and Ianto felt the gratitude and frustration of the medic as he faced the report again, the coffee not working so far. He walked over to Toshiko placing her mug on her station.

"Thank you Ianto." She smiled, he felt at ease standing near Toshiko thankfulness washed off her and he smiled at the nice feeling in his head.

He walked over to Gwen just as Jack walked out of his office, "Yan, tonight eight o'clock." He called and Ianto simply smiled, but when he stood next to Gwen his head felt as though it was burning, the horrible sensation of hatred filled him making his whole body ache as the feeling of bitterness was aimed at him. "Yan, you okay?" Jack called.

"Fine." Ianto said weakly. "I need some air." He said and placed Jack's cup on Gwen's desk also before heading up to the tourist office and then out into the cold streets of the Cardiff.

The cold air hit him hard and he used all his energy to concentrate on feeling cold and not on other people's feelings. But his mind was dwelling on Gwen, she hated him even if she didn't know it or say it, he could feel it and it hurt. He wasn't too sure why she hated him, he didn't want to stick around to find out, the pain was too much to bare. He felt strong arms wrap around his waist and tried to concentrate on the calm feeling that Jack possessed.

"You forgot your coat, I don't want you catching a cold." Jack whispered, kissing Ianto's temple, the simple touch calming him down.

"I'm sorry," Ianto sighed and pulled the jacket around him.

"What happened?" Jack asked as they sat on a near by bench, Ianto falling into Jack's comfortable embrace.

"The feelings, she hates me." Ianto sighed pathetically, he didn't know why he was bothered it was only Gwen.

"Who hates you?" Jack asked confused by his lovers words.

"Gwen, I could feel it, I stood next to her and the hate and anger aimed at me. It hurt so much." He brought a hand to his head, he could still feel it burning and he'd give anything for it to stop. Jack noticed and raised his hands to Ianto's head, slowly moving his fingers along his forehead soothing Ianto almost immediately.

"I want you to go home, sleep, have a shower and relax. Spend today on you're own get used to this, and I will pick you up at seven." Jack whispered once he felt Ianto calm down. At first he thought Ianto was going to resist, but he felt a small nod in his arms and smiled slightly.

Ianto walked home, every time a person moved closer to him he could feel what they were feeling. It was as though the whole of Cardiff were aching and Ianto could feel it, his head was swimming with emotion, he could still feel Gwen's hatred and he wondered what was going on with her. He knew he hadn't done anything to piss her off, he hardly spoke to her. Maybe that was it. Ianto shook his head as he reached his flat, he opened the door and threw his jacket off. He headed to the kitchen and grabbed his painkillers, he checked the dosage on the packet, he could take up to eight a day, sighing he took three of the white pills and cringed at the taste. He walked into the bathroom and turned the taps of his bath on, nice and hot just what he needed. He started striping his clothes off and threw them absent mindedly in the wash bin before climbing in the bath allowing the water to fill with him in it.

He felt calm, he couldn't feel any one else in his head though he could still sense the burning feeling of hatred, it was as though it wasn't going to go away. He closed his eyes and moved lower into the tub, hot water burning his skin but he didn't care, he was just glad people's feelings weren't playing tag in his head.

He stayed in the tub until it got cold, then pulled on a pair of bottoms and went to the kitchen he made himself some lunch and then went to his bedroom, he flicked on the television and cuddled up in the bed, he managed to eat half of what he made and before he knew it he was asleep and being woken up by the ringing of the door bell. He looked at the clock to see it was eight, he had been asleep for five hours yet he still felt tired. He walked nervously to the door, scared that when he opened it he would be rushed with people's emotions. He opened it anxiously and allowed Jack in, and closed the door.

"Jack, I'm sorry, I fell asleep and I didn't know what the time was." Ianto sighed.

"Its okay, you're mind probably needed the rest. We can go to dinner another time. How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts and I'm still kind of tired." Ianto replied honestly, he moved closer to Jack resting his hands on his hips and embraced him rightly. Jack smiled and held the younger man back knowing Ianto needed this right now.

"Well how about I order something for us to eat, and then you can go to sleep." Jack smiled.

"Will you stay?" Ianto asked sheepishly.

"If you want me to." Jack replied, and was answered with a very soft kiss.

"I want you to stay," Ianto smiled, and they headed towards the kitchen. "What do you fancy?"

"Pizza?" Jack offered and Ianto nodded and ordered the food, then they got comfortable in the bedroom. Before the food had even arrived Ianto was fast asleep clutching onto Jack's shirt desperately.

Half an hour later the door bell rang and Jack moved slowly away from Ianto, though he was going to wake up to eat in a minute he didn't want to disturb him just yet. He paid the pizza delivery boy, and then grabbed two glasses of coke as Ianto hated drinking coffee when he ate. He walked into the bedroom to see Ianto sat up in the middle of the bed.

"I thought you went." Ianto said sadly.

"To get the food." Jack smiled and walked over to Ianto laying the pizza on the bed and sat next to his lover. "You okay?"

"Why does she hate me?" Ianto asked gently.

"I don't know." Jack sighed. "I'll talk to her?"

"No, don't." Ianto pleaded. "I just, it doesn't matter." Ianto sighed and took a slice of pizza and started to eat it gingerly.

"So, I was on the phone with Torchwood two today." Jack said as they ate their pizza.

"That must have been fun."

"Oh it was." Jack grinned, "And I asked about psychic training, they've given me the number of some one who is an expert with empaths." Jack smiled. "If you want, I can phone for you ask them to talk to you, help you control it." Jack watched Ianto for any sign of emotion but found none. "Ianto, what do you think?"

"What would we tell the others?" Ianto asked nervously.

"Nothing, they don't need to know. It's your decision to tell them." Jack said softly.

"I want the training," Ianto said quietly, and Jack knew it was a big step because he knew Ianto felt as though he had failed.

"Okay, I'll be there every step with you." Jack offered and Ianto smiled and they went back to eating in silence.

***

Jack walked back to the hub alone he had told Ianto to come in when he was ready. It had unnerved him seeing Ianto so weak, so scared. The tourist office was empty and that saddened Jack even more. He knew what power came with being an empath, if Ianto connected to the full use he could be extraordinary. But Jack didn't want him to be extraordinary, he wanted him to be Ianto, his Ianto.

He was surprised to see Gwen and Toshiko sat at their desks. He didn't want to wake Ianto up, nor did he want to leave with just writing him a note. So he had waited for him to wake up, which had been an hour and a half later. "Where's Ianto?" Toshiko asked, her voice full of concern.

"Sleeping," Jack replied. "He's not feeling too great,"

"How come?" Gwen asked, there was something in her voice that Jack couldn't quite register. He wanted to ask her about what had happened with Ianto, but he had made a promise and was determined to keep it.

"Headache, probably coming down with the flue or something." Jack lied, it was hard for him to lie where Ianto was concerned. Especially when it was about his health and well being.

"Maybe Owen should go and take a look at him?" Toshiko suggested.

"I think he'll prefer to stay in bed, just sleep it off." Jack smiled and sat at Ianto's desk. Checking the rift monitor. Thankfully there was nothing going on that required his full attention. "I'm going to make a phone call, only disturb me if its important," Jack said before leaving the girls to their work.

-x-

Ianto fell back asleep once Jack had left him for work. He wasn't the type to stay in bed all day, but looking at the clock he realised it was in fact passed lunchtime, and his head was still hurting. He sat up groggily before moving to the kitchen. He smiled slightly as he made himself an extra strong coffee. He hoped that it would wake him up a bit. He really didn't fancy staying in the house all day. The coffee seemed to work but he still felt drained. "Shower," He said to himself as he made his way into the bathroom. He stripped lazily and stood under the warm rays of water. Leaning against the wall he felt the tiredness slowly escape his body. Not bothering to put a suit on, he changed into a pair of jeans and a hooded jumper. The phone started ringing making Ianto jump slightly.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Did I wake you?" Jack's voice was full of concern and Ianto didn't have to even feel it to know it was there.

"Nope," Ianto replied as he sat on the sofa, stretching his tired muscles. "Should I come into work?"

"Stay home. Nothing is going on here, Owen hasn't even bothered to show up. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," There was no use in lying about it, Ianto thought. It wasn't a crime to feel tired, though maybe it was a little odd to feel this tired when he hadn't done anything. "Might go for a walk,"

"Come down by the bay, we'll go for lunch." Jack suggested.

"Okay," Ianto smiled to himself as the phone line went dead. Ianto knew it was risky him going outside. Outside where peoples thoughts swam into his own. But he didn't want to hide away. Though he definitely wanted to hide away from Gwen right now. He couldn't handle her feelings right now. Ianto smiled as a thought flashed through his mind. He walked back into his bedroom and snatched his bag from the floor. Taking out his MP3 player, he just hoped it worked. He put the music in his ears and turned the volume up loud. Grabbing his keys, he walked out of the house.

Silence.

Well apart from the loud beats of classic rock that was now blasting in his ears. There was nothing but silence. His music was so loud he was pretty sure he couldn't feel his own feelings. He walked at a steady pace, enjoying the mid summer sunshine. He arrived at the bay twenty minutes later. Jack was standing outside the tourist office with a smile.

"Hey," Ianto smiled, once he took out his headphones.

"Do they work?" Jack asked, gesturing to his MP3 player.

"Yeah," Ianto replied. "So lunch?"

"Picnic," Jack held up a small bag that Ianto hadn't noticed he was holding. "We've got sandwiches, water, fruit, and some of your special biscuits that you hide in the cupboard."

"Didn't know you were the picnic sort of guy," Ianto smiled, Jack took his hand in his and they walked closely together to the local park.

"I used to come here when I was a kid," Ianto grinned, "Come on," Jack followed with curiosity. Ianto never spoke about his childhood, Jack knew it was a horrible time in his life. His parents being murdered, staying in foster care, having a horrible foster father. Jack's curiosity got the better of him when Ianto dragged him into a part of the park which was made of of hills, trees and large rocks.

"Where are you taking me?" Jack laughed, and then Ianto stopped. Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist, and took in the view before him; a small waterfall that looked completely out of place was shining before them, trees covered them completely from view. "Its beautiful," Jack smiled.

Ianto took Jack's hand once more and led him to the largest rock, and dangled his legs over the waterfall. "When I was a kid, we had weekly trips to the park. I'd always just come sit up here. Then when I got fostered, I still came here only it had to be a secret because he didn't like me leaving the house."

"Do you still come here?" Jack asked, pulling Ianto close.

"Not in a while," Ianto said honestly. They fell into a peaceful silence, both listening to the lull of water crashing onto the rocks. Jack handed Ianto the food he had prepared for him, who smiled back gratefully.

"Remember I told you I knew a guy who could help," Jack said after a while.

"Yeah," Ianto said a little unenthusiastically.

"He's in Scotland, he has a house up there and says if you're serious about wanting help it can only be done there."

"Scotland?" Ianto asked a little shocked.

"Scotland," Jack repeated. "I wont be able to go with you,"

"I know," Ianto mumbled. "How long?"

"A couple of weeks," Jack said, that had been the first question he had asked him. "He's a nice guy, his names Luke, and he's good at what he does,"

"Can he get rid of it?" Ianto asked desperately. "I don't want to be different, Jack."

"You're not different, Ianto. You're special,"

"Then I don't want to be special. I don't want to walk into work and be scared of what I'll feel when I look at you,"

"Whether you are an empath or not Yan, you'll always be special to me. Its your decision, but you need to go to Scotland, you need to get the training either way,"

"But Scotland?"

"It's not that far. And I reckon Luke will be keeping you very busy with all the training, you wont have time to miss me," Jack smiled his cocky smile.

"What about you? Will you miss me?"

"Always," Jack placed a soft kiss on his lovers lips. "I need you to go, so I know you'll be okay."

"Then I'll go."

***

It had been a day since Ianto left for Scotland. Jack had told everyone that Ianto was helping with the archives in Torchwood two. Jack wasn't too sure where his and Ianto's relationship stood. Yes they were good friends, and yes they had feelings for each other and even though they had acted on their feelings, they didn't exactly have a relationship. They were together in bed and nothing more. Though Jack wasn't to sure whether that was enough any more.

"Why exactly did Ianto have to leave again?" Owen asked miserably. Gwen had made coffee and even Jack had smiled politely in thanks before pouring it into one of the flowerpots that were around the hub.

"I didn't think Ianto knew anyone in Scotland," Toshiko said, she too missed her friend. Not just because of the coffee but mostly because Ianto was the only one that understood most of what she said.

"He doesn't, he's just doing them a favour," Jack sighed. It had been only a day and he already missed him. He couldn't figure out what exactly it was that he missed; the coffee? The sex? No, it was everything about Ianto; the small smile he wore when he tasted his own coffee, the way he walked around the hub confidently, and the suits, Jack really missed the suits.

Ianto got of the plane in a tired daze. His head was killing him. The whole two and half hours he was in the air all he could focus on was other peoples feelings. Their adrenaline, their fear, their happiness, their anger. He felt as though his head was going to explode. The airport was even worse, excitement filled his mind as a little girl ran to an older man, Ianto guessed he was her dad. The site and feeling almost made him smile, but the pain in his head ached too much. He looked up, Luke was supposed to meet him at the coffee shop in the airport. He followed the signs to Starbucks, his head not feeling any lighter.

"Ianto Jones?" A deep voice filled his senses and he turned around to see a tall man smiling at him. Jet black hair and dark blue eyes. "Luke Bolton,"

"Nice to meet you," Ianto said with a smile. He was half expecting his surname to be Skywalker, but even for him that would have been too weird.

"Likewise. I bet your head's killing you," His tone was light and soothing and Ianto was pleased, he nodded weakly. "We'll get a cab and get you settled, right now I think it would be best if you just rested. We'll start training tomorrow,"

"Sounds good," Ianto said, he wasn't too sure what he should say.

The cab ride to Luke's flat was silent, Ianto could feel the cab drivers presence in his mind; the desperate need for money to pay the bills and feed his family. Ianto was pretty sure Luke had felt it too because the man had given him a generous tip. "Poor bastard," Luke mused as he opened the door to his house.

Ianto looked around with a smile, the house was beautiful. Large oak doors, white framed windows, modern yet classic. "I figured instead of you staying in a hotel you could stay here, I've got plenty of room." Ianto nodded in agreement. "Besides more private, for you and the guests in the hotel," Ianto smiled at Luke. "Your room is on the second floor, first door on the left, bathrooms on the right. Kitchen is through here..."

Ianto placed his bag on the bed and sat down next to it. He was already overwhelmed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea he thought to himself. A light buzzing was felt through his jeans and Ianto quickly pulled out his mobile and smiled.

"Hey," Ianto answered.

"Hey, Yan. Just thought I'd check in, see if you got there alright," Jack's voice was soft through the phone and Ianto couldn't help but smile. Scotland suddenly felt so faraway. "Yan, you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry just tired."

"Is Luke okay? Did he get you set up in a hotel?"

"I'm staying at his house," Ianto answered truthfully. "He's really nice."

"Oh."

"How's everything at the hub?"

"Boring," Jack laughed. "Owen misses your coffee, Toshiko misses your brain, and Gwen is pestering me about your absence."

"What did you tell her?"

"You're sorting out their archives," Jack chuckled. There was a loud beeping noise on Jack's end. "Rift activity got to go,"

"Be careful," Ianto sighed.

"You too." The call was cut off and Ianto threw himself back on the bed.

"What we got?" Jack called as he rushed down the stairs.

"Weevils," Jack rolled his eyes, it was always weevils. Never any interesting aliens to deal with.

"How many?" Gwen asked as she stood next to Jack.

"Four," Toshiko replied.

"One each." Jack grinned, as they all headed towards the SUV. Toshiko carrying a portable tracking device as well as the weevil spray.

Gwen sat in the passenger seat, which was where Ianto normally sat, and stared out of the window every time Jack caught her glancing at him. The weevils were twenty minutes away, and even with Jack's sometimes reckless driving it was going to take at least ten minutes to get to them.

"So you spoke to Ianto?" Toshiko smiled. Jack glanced at her through the mirror, she smiled up at him and he laughed. She knew about their relationship, they all knew the basis of their relationship, but Jack figured she knew that they both wanted more.

"Yeah, he's tired. Ask about you all," Jack laughed.

"Nothing new there, he's always fussing over other people," Owen sighed, "He should have been a doctor."

"He hates blood," Toshiko pointed out.

"Then he's already working in the wrong place," Gwen smirked.

"Weevils!" Toshiko shouted.

Ianto walked down the stairs and saw Luke sat in front of the large plasma screen in the living room. "Want something to eat?" He asked. "I was thinking about ordering a pizza,"

"That sounds great." Ianto smiled. Ianto already felt relaxed and at ease with his abilities around Luke. He couldn't sense anything from the older man except kindness and warmth.

"Let me guess, vegetarian for you?" Ianto raised an eyebrow but nodded in agreement. "Most empaths normally are," He pointed out.

"I've been off meat before I even knew what I was," Ianto smirked. "Almost being butchered by humans does that to you,"

"Life at Torchwood never stops amazing me," Luke smiled, he grabbed the phone from the side and ordered two pizzas. Ianto sat on the armchair next to the sofa, he had so many questions he wanted to ask but he couldn't find the words. "You're curious."

"Do you blame me?" Ianto laughed in disbelief.

"Not at all. I've met thirteen people like you, but completely different." Ianto looked at him a little confused. "They were all empaths like you, like me. They could feel me in their minds and they all panicked, its a natural reaction. But you, you just sit there with a smile, you're not even scared."

"I am scared, just not of you." Luke smiled at his words. "When I first found out, what I was. I panicked. I was scared, I had this ability that was there but I couldn't use it because I wasn't ready. And then I felt it, all at once. There was this little girl, Jessica. She was attacked, and I got to her first. And she was okay. I took her home, and she was scared, I felt her fear and it was the worst feeling in the world. But because I felt it, something was done. She's not scared any more. Because of this."

"You're not going to make everyone's feeling better though, you do know that right."

"Course I do. I'm not as na茯�ve as some people think. You can't save everyone because not everyone wants to be saved."

"Doesn't stop us trying though does it," Luke smiled warmly, there was a ringing at the door to get the pizzas.

Jack woke up taking in a deep breath. "Ianto..." He whispered, it was his natural response. Ianto was always there when he woke up. He was always there to hold him, he would wait until he woke up again. Talk to him in Welsh even though Jack wouldn't be able to hear nor understand the words he spoke. But Ianto wasn't there this time.

"I'm here don't worry," Gwen said as she rocked Jack back and forth. No matter how many times he died, he could never get used to the feeling of coming back. There was always the sick feeling that he shouldn't see the light, but he should be buried in the darkness.

"Thanks," Jack smiled. "I'm going to phone Ianto, make sure he's not being worked too hard." It was an excuse and they both knew it. Jack needed Ianto right now, because he was the only one who made him feel alive. But Ianto wasn't there.

"Hello?" Ianto answered his phone with a smile.

"Hey, bad time?"

"Nope, just eating. Everything okay?" Ianto asked. Something was wrong, he could feel it. He was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to feel Jack, he was miles away. But he could.

"Yeah fine," Jack lied. "Just thought you know I'd check in."

"What's going on?" Ianto asked. "I know something is wrong."

"I don't know, I just miss you."

"I miss you too," Ianto smiled. "Its only been a day,"

"Too long." Jack laughed. "I should go, leave you to do what ever it is you're doing." Jack ended the call, and Ianto felt a sharp pain through his body. Something was wrong.

"I need to go home," Ianto said quickly.

"What's going on?" Luke asked, worry evident in his voice.

"I don't know, but I need to go."

"I'll come with you, what ever you're feeling you shouldn't be feeling."

"What do you mean?" Ianto asked desperately. Now he was scared.

"You're what, a hundred and a half miles away. And you can still feel everything as if you're right next to him. You shouldn't be able to feel it." Luke stared at Ianto with wonder, "I was wrong, you're nothing like me. You're different, and right now I don't know what to do to help. But you need to be with Jack." Ianto couldn't help but hear the unsaid words in his head. He needed to be with Jack before something bad happened.

***

Jack sat his desk, his head ached like it always did when he came back. It was just a weevil hunt, he wasn't supposed to die. Spray them and bag them, that's how it was supposed to go. But the spray didn't work, and they ripped the bags. Nothing went to plan. Owen knocked his out, Toshiko managed to sedate hers. But Gwen, she failed on both accounts, and both weevils attacked Jack, ripping out his throat and leaving him bleeding to death.

He took a large sip of his scotch, he needed Ianto right now. Hearing him on the phone wasn't enough. His heart ached for the man he had fallen for. He wasn't stupid, he knew how good looking Luke was, hell he had done Luke in the past and he was a great lover. But Ianto, he is something special. Even more so now.

"Drinking alone?" Jack looked up, for a second he thought it was Ianto. But he couldn't hide the disappointment when he saw Gwen standing there. Those eyes tearing into his soul.

"Thought you went home to Rhys," Jack said bitterly, she could have a normal life with the man she loved, but he couldn't have one with his.

"He's working," She said with a small smile. "Thought you might need some, I don't know. Company?"

"Are you okay?" Luke asked, he hadn't had enough time to help Ianto with his training. And he was a wreck. He was surrounded by people, their thoughts, emotions, and they were all bearing into his mind. A thousand feelings of excitement, fear, anxiety. He could feel it all. Luke could feel it too, but he blocked it all out, only feeling what he wanted to feel. "Ianto!" He shouted.

"My head, it hurts." There was a pained expression on his face. No colour what so ever on his cheeks. "I need Jack..."

The young man passed out. People looked around all startled. Some screamed for help, other's watched whilst others walked past. "It's okay, I've got you," Luke whispered as he picked him up. He knew where Torchwood three was based, he just hoped Jack would be able to help.

Jack and Gwen took large sips of their drink. They had been drinking for the past hour. "We shouldn't..." Jack whispered, but it was too late. They were already kissing, their hands already wondering.

"Jack!" Jack broke away from Gwen, his lips kissed bruised, hers a bright red colour. "Jack!" His name was called again. He looked up from his office and saw Luke standing on the invisible lift, his arms wrapped around Ianto. He looked at Gwen, she was doing her buttons back up.

"What happened?" Jack asked as he rushed down the stairs, not bothering to do his shirt back up. "Ianto?"

"He needs you," Luke said aggressively. He knew what he had walked in, he knew how Ianto felt about Jack.

"Ianto, what happened?" Gwen's voice ran through the hub.

"I think you should go home." Jack said strongly.

"I'm not leaving you Jack," Gwen said resting a hand on Jack's shoulder, but he brushed it away quickly.

"Go!" He shouted. Gwen stared at Jack for a few minutes before retreating to the cog door.

"What's going on?" Jack asked as he held Ianto close to him.

"He felt something, when he was on the phone to you. He freaked out, saying he wanted to go home. Before something happened, clearly it already did." He gestured to the cog door.

"Nothing happened," Jack said, his body forgetting any alcohol consumption as he stared at Ianto. "Why wont he wake up?"

"I don't know," Luke sighed.

"Come on Ianto, I need you to wake up," Jack whispered, "I need you, please." He placed a chaste kiss to his lips. His lips were warm, full of energy. He half imagined half hoped that the kiss would bring him back.

"Jack..." Luke watched in amazement as a bright light swam between their lips. It was beautiful, scary, and so very real. "Jack, he's coming round," Jack moved his face away, oblivious to the magic that just happened.

"Jack?" It was barely a whisper, so distant and so lost. But all Jack cared about was that it was there.

"It's okay, you're okay now." Jack said as he wrapped his arms around Ianto.

"You died," Ianto whispered. "You died and I wasn't there, and you needed me."

Jack looked at Luke who wore a knowing expression. "He's stronger than anyone I've ever seen." Ianto moved away from Jack. His heart ached every time he looked at him. What he felt couldn't be true.

"Where are you going?" Luke asked.

"Painkillers," Ianto mumbled, he was already in the autopsy which was where the painkillers were kept. He needed to be away from Jack. "I'm going to make a coffee." He added, he grabbed the pills and headed to the coffee machine.

He kissed Gwen. He fucking kissed Gwen when he needed me! Ianto thought bitterly.

"He knows," Jack mumbled.

"He knows." Luke repeated. "So, where do I sleep?"

"You're staying here?" Jack asked. "You're not going back?"

"He needs you. And you need him. You need to watch the camera footage of what happened when you kissed him, because for once I'm clueless." Jack stared at him with a confused look, before walking up to the work stations.

Ianto drained the coffee in almost one mouthful, the cafiene making everything feel better. Except his heart, that was still broken.

He walked over to where Jack was standing with Luke, his body needed to be near Jack but he couldn't bring himself to look at him, so he stood next to Luke. "You okay?" He asked softly.

"You know that answer," Ianto replied, "What the hell was that?" He asked as his eyes flicked to the camera screen.

"That's life," Luke said matter of factly. "Life energy, transferred from Jack to you,"

"I don't understand," Jack said, he wanted to look at Ianto. But he wasn't looking at him at all. Just staring at the floor.

"You're immortal, you have energy in you that's just burning away. Your body doesn't loose energy when you die, and when Ianto was about to die. You're body simply gave him the energy to wake up,"

"That sounds like a fairytale," Ianto mumbled.

"Well it is too good to be true. Because the energy that is in Jack's body is energy that never goes away. He's given you life." Luke stared at the two confused faces and smiled. "I don't know what it means, I'll have to run some tests. But in the morning. He needs to sleep,"

"Where are you staying?" Ianto asked wearily.

"He can stay here, there's a bed down in one of the tunnels." Luke nodded. "Are you staying?"

Ianto wanted to say no, he didn't want to be any where near Jack, yet his body was craving him. Not touching him right now hurt. He nodded silently. Ianto had quite a lot of clothes in Jack's sleeping space already, and while Jack showed Luke where to sleep, he changed into a pair of track suit bottoms.

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered as he walked into his room.

"I know," Ianto mumbled. "I know why you did it, and I know how sorry you are. But it still hurts."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Jack sighed.

"It's okay," Ianto shrugged. It wasn't okay, not by a long shot but he needed Jack. "Just hold me," He whispered. They settled onto the bed once Jack stripped his clothes and was left in his boxers. His arms wrapped around Ianto and held him tight.

The pain Ianto felt soon drifted away. He felt blissfully numb. He could feel Jack but he couldn't read him, and he was glad. Feeling his warmth was enough. "I love you," Jack whispered as Ianto fell asleep. Both slept peacefully for the first time in days, both anxious about what the tests would show tomorrow.

***

Jack woke up with a small smile. Ianto was next to him, arms and legs tangled together, their bodies touching completely. He felt warm, and couldn't help but smile. This was how life was supposed to be. For a second he forget about everything, forgot about kissing Gwen, forgot about Ianto's abilities, forgot about the tests, Luke... He forgot about everything and tried to focus on Ianto.

"Stop it," Ianto hissed as he buried his head further in Jack's neck.

"Stop what?" Jack asked quietly, his hands playing with Ianto's soft hair.

"Thinking so loud." Was the sleepy response he got in return.

"Sorry," Jack sighed. Ianto woke up properly half an hour later, though Jack could tell he was still tired.

"How are you feeling?" Jack asked, trying not to emit his feelings loudly though he knew trying to do that was like trying to catch water with his hands.

"Head still hurts," Ianto answered truthfully. He was still mad at Jack but he couldn't dwell on those feelings, he knew he sorry Jack was it hurt that he could feel it. "I don't like it, Jack."

"I know," Jack said as he pulled Ianto closer to him.

"I can feel everything, and I don't like it any more."

"It will get better." Jack didn't know if it was the truth. Ianto wasn't supposed to feel what he felt to the extreme like he did. But there was nothing any one could do to take the powers away, he just hoped that Luke had a way of helping control them.

"You were in so much pain. I felt you die, Jack." Ianto couldn't help but cry. It wasn't just his emotions weighing him down; it was everyone's. "Then I felt you kiss her, and it hurt so much. But I can't hate you for it, because I can feel the guilt that you feel." Jack held tighter onto Ianto.

"I'm so sorry,"

"I know." Ianto sniffed. "Can you fix me Jack?"

"You're not broken to need fixing."

"Then why do I feel like I am?" Ianto continued to cry so hard he fell back to sleep. Jack moved away from him, and pulled on some clean clothes. He watched as Ianto curled himself into a small ball, as though he was shielding himself from the world, from Jack. With one last look, Jack climbed up the ladder and headed to the main area of the hub. Luke was sat at one of the desks, writing in a notebook.

"Morning," He said not bothering to look up.

"Morning," Jack replied and walked towards him.

"How is he?" Luke asked.

"You tell me," Jack smiled weakly.

"He's scared," Luke said simply. "He needs you more than ever, Jack."

"I know, and I'm going to be there for him." Jack said strongly.

"And that woman?"

"She was a mistake, he knows that." Jack said quickly. "I love him, with all my heart. And I'm going to be there for him."

"Good." Luke smiled. "When he wakes up, I'll run some tests. I've not seen some one as strong as him in a long time, and the fact that he doesn't know how strong he is scares me."

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't know what he is capable of. Neither do we."

"Do you think he can become dangerous?" Jack asked, worry rushing over him.

"I've seen people who've become so scared of their abilities that they hide from them, change themselves. Make themselves hate people and do terrible things. But I don't think Ianto will do anything like that. He's human, and that counts for something."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, he could feel a headache coming on.

"Most empaths have some trace of alien in their blood. Humans who are empaths get the 'gift' because they care, they are naturally caring people, like Ianto is. But aliens who are empaths can deal with the headaches, the pain of people's feelings. Humans can't. Especially some one as young as Ianto."

"You'll do your best to help him?"

"Course." Luke smiled warmly. They heard footsteps behind them, and both turned to see Ianto walking towards them, dressed sharply in a fresh suite, hair combed and face washed.

"Coffee?" He asked simply as he headed towards the coffee machine.

"Please," Jack smiled.

"Yes please, Ianto." Luke smiled. He was pleased that he couldn't feel any negative feelings coming from the young man. But then again it was only early after all.

A few moments later and a freshly brewed coffee was being poured into mugs and handed to Jack and Luke, Ianto drinking water.

"No coffee?" Jack asked, trying to remember the last time Ianto had drunk anything that wasn't coffee.

"I can't drink coffee when I have headaches, makes them worse." He sighed miserably as he sat down, his legs brushed against Jack and he felt warmth flood through him and felt better instantly.

"When do you want to get started?" Luke asked gently.

"When ever," Ianto sighed dejectedly as the cog door rolled open, and Gwen walked in. She shot them all a look and stared at Luke.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"A friend, he's doing us a favour." Jack explained.

"Can we start now?" Ianto asked Luke who nodded.

"You can use my office. Do you want me to come up?" Ianto wanted to say yes, and he knew Jack needed him to say yes.

"We need to be alone." Luke said. "Shouldn't be long."

Jack stared at Gwen who stared back intently. "You going to tell me what exactly is going on?" She demanded.

"You don't need to know," Jack said simply.

"Like hell I don't, Jack!" Gwen shouted.

"It has nothing to do with you."

"We're a fucking team, Jack!"

"You really think we're a team? The way you treat Ianto. The way you act as though the whole fucking world revolves around you?" Gwen kept her mouth shut. "Last night shouldn't have happened. I was upset, I missed Ianto. It was a mistake."

"You don't mean it."

"Yes, I do." Jack shouted.

"But..."

"No. I love him. What ever you think is going on between us needs to stop, because it's making him upset and I don't want him to get hurt."

"Too late for that now?"

"No, it isn't. I want you to apologise."

"No fucking way!"

"Apologise, make him feel part of the team so I can believe you want to be part of this team." Jack said simply. With nothing to say to that, Gwen kept her mouth shut and started working. Jack, not able to go to his office headed towards the tourist office.

Ianto sat cross legged on the floor opposite Luke. "I need you to close your eyes," He said gently. Ianto did as he was told and closed his eyes. "I'm going to try and say something to you in your head, When you hear it I want you to tell me what I said okay." Ianto nodded, not too sure whether this was going to work. He couldn't read people's minds, he could just feel what they felt.

It felt as though someone was digging in his head, looking for something. But then he felt it. Felt Luke. Loud as day in his head. 'you make great coffee' Ianto couldn't help but laugh.

"I know I make good coffee," He smiled and opened his eyes, Luke looked at him amazed.

"That was quicker than I thought." He mused.

"Is that bad?" Ianto asked, trying not to panic.

"No, this time I'm going to tell you something and I want you to reply in your head." Ianto nodded again and within a minute they were having their own conversation in their minds.

It lasted five minutes, and Ianto felt drained. He slumped his head backwards and felt liquid falling from his nose, he put his hand to it and knew it was blood. "That happens a lot." Luke explained. Ianto nodded, too weak to reply. "I'll get Jack, that's enough for today I think."

Luke walked down the stairs, and Owen and Toshiko looked up at him. "Everything okay?" Jack asked, he was sat at Ianto's desk.

"Yeah," Luke smiled. Jack nodded his head and followed Luke back up to his office. Ianto was still sat on the floor, he had shuffled back a little and was leaning on Jack's desk, his eyes closed and a tissue covering his nose.

"Ianto," Jack whispered as he crouched down next to him.

"Tired," Ianto replied lazily, his head falling onto Jack's shoulder.

"I'm going to take you downstairs okay?" Ianto nodded weakly, he felt numb and was glad that he couldn't feel anything. He was half aware of his body being lifted and placed on a soft surface, he opened a eye to see both Luke and Jack standing over him.

"You need to hold him for a while. He gets stronger when you're near."

"How?" Jack asked confused.

"You're his anchor. Every empath has one. Usually a family member, or close friend. It makes dealing with emotions easier. I think that's why he could feel you from so far away." Jack nodded and sat next to Ianto who moved next to him instantly, Jack couldn't help but smile.

"What have you told the others?" Ianto asked weakly.

"Nothing, I told them you were back and that Luke is visiting."

"You should tell them," Ianto whispered.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked.

"They deserve to know." Was all Ianto said before falling into a deep sleep, the only thing he was aware of was Jack holding him.

***

Next part of Pain Is The Only Feeling.