Title: Leave the Past Behind
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 4
Prompt: 8, Campfire
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto shivered and looked around; being out in the country always made him uneasy after the bad experience he'd had on his first mission with the Torchwood team. That was something that he didn't think he'd ever quite get over.

The Doctor knew that, but he wanted to help Ianto get past his fears. The young man sighed, his eyes moving over the darkness around the small campfire they'd made as though he was afraid that something was going to pop out to menace them at any moment.

It wasn't that he didn't appreciate his lover trying to help him; in fact, he thought it was rather sweet of the Doctor to be so concerned. But this was something he'd never be completely at ease with, even when he was with the Doctor and there was no sign of trouble.

He and Tosh hadn't thought there would be so much trouble when they'd gone off to explore that house, either. Ianto shuddered at the memory; he could still feel the coldness that had seeped through him when he'd realized Tosh was missing, as though it permeated his bones.

And that basement, that refrigerator with its grisly contents .... He bit down on his lower lip, trying to banish the mental images to some faraway part of his mind where he could slam a door on them and lock them away.

He hated being here, even though he felt safer with the Doctor than he had when he'd been with the team. Which might be a bit silly, considering that there were only two of them -- but he'd learned to put his trust in his lover, no matter what situation they were in.

Ianto couldn't keep himself from shuddering as his thoughts went back to that terrifying night in the cabin with those cannibal people. It was something that never quite left his thoughts when he was out of the city; even though it had happened a while ago, the memory never quite went away.

Sighing, he turned his attention towards the fire they'd built, trying to make himself forget about the darkness surrounding them. Of course, the Tardis was only a short distance away; he could leave the campfire and go into that safe haven any time he wanted to.

The Doctor was right when he told Owen that he had to get past his fears. They weren't irrational fears; the Time Lord had pointed that out immediately. But he had to come to terms with what had happened, instead of pushing it to the back of his mind and trying to forget it.

Ianto jumped when a branch cracked from somewhere behind him; he was on his feet in a second, reaching for a gun that he remembered a moment later wasn't there. Why would he have a gun when he was here with the Doctor, and not with Torchwood?

He swallowed hard, crouching, his eyes wide as they searched the darkness beyond what now seemed to be a very small circle of light that wavered around him. What if they hadn't gotten all of those people? What if there were more of them out there?

They could very well be there. More of them, bent on carrying on the tradition that the others had begun. They could be waiting for some unsuspecting people to show up; he and the Doctor could even now be watched by eyes that meant them no good ....

The Time Lord raised both hands as he moved into the light of the campfire, smiling and shaking his head. "I give up, don't shoot!" he intoned, punctuating his words with a soft chuckle. "Ianto, don't be so jumpy. There's nothing here. I'm sure of it."

Ianto wanted to laugh, but he couldn't. His heart still felt as though it had traveled the distance from his chest to his throat, and it was beating furiously, so fast that he almost felt as if he'd just run a long-distance marathon.

He needed a few minutes to calm himself down. Clearing his throat, he looked around nervously, wishing that he'd thought to bring his gun with him. It might not be needed, but he'd feel better if he had it, more protected.

The Doctor sat down on the blanket that they'd spread out on the ground near the campfire, looking up at Ianto, regarding him intently. The other man didn't speak; after a few moments, Ianto sighed and sat back down, smiling at the Doctor apologetically.

"I'm sorry, love," he said softly, unable to keep from casting another anxious glance around them as he sat down again beside the Time Lord. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to spend time in the country again without being nervous."

"I don't blame you, Ianto," the Doctor told him, reaching out to take his young lover's hand in his own. "Anyone would have a hard time getting past what happened to you. I wasn't there, I know, but Jack told me enough about it for me to understand your fears."

Ianto looked down at their entwined hands, tightening his fingers around the Doctor's. "I don't know how to describe what I feel," he said, his voice hesitant. "It's not just fear -- it's so many emotions all rolled up together that I can't pull only one of them out of the bunch."

The Doctor nodded, heaving a sigh. "I know what that's like," he replied, moving closer to Ianto on the blanket. "I've felt that way before, too. There are so many things all mixed inside of you that you can't focus on any one of them without the others making themselves known, too."

"Yes, that's it." Ianto nodded, freeing his hand and sliding his arm around the Doctor's waist to pull the Time Lord closer against him. "I know you're trying to help me get past my fears by bringing me here, Doctor, but .... I don't know that it's going to work."

"As long as I can get you to sit here for a while and enjoy the fresh air, and not jump at every little sound that's around us, then I think we've made a good start," the Doctor said, resting his head on Ianto's shoulder. "I don't expect you to put the whole experience behind you in one night."

"We don't have to stay out here all night, do we?" Ianto hated the note of fear in his voice, that slight trembling sound that betrayed just how nervous he still was. He didn't want to be like that. He wanted to be strong, sure of himself, able to cope with anything that came his way.

"Of course not." The Doctor's voice was soft and soothing; he laid his hand over Ianto's, lifting his head to smile at his boyfriend. "I just thought it might help you to be out here for a little while. It's a lovely night, anyway. Look up at the stars."

Ianto looked up, taking a deep breath, trying to calm himself by gazing at the stars. It didn't work; he was still tense, still feeling as though he had to get out of here. He didn't want to disappoint the Doctor, but he knew that he couldn't stay here much longer.

As though he sensed what his young lover was feeling, the Doctor disentangled his hand from the young man's and leaned towards the fire, squinting a little. "I think this needs to be put out, and then we can leave. It's time we were back in the Tardis."

"I couldn't agree more," agreed Ianto with a sigh of relief. He did feel a little guilty, cutting this interlude short; maybe the Doctor had intended for it to be something romantic. But he had a hard time getting into the mood for romance when he was so tense.

The Doctor stood up, picking up the blanket and starting to fold it; he handed it to Ianto, who took it slowly, his eyes still scanning the area around them, straining to see in the darkness. "Ianto, there isn't anything there," the Time Lord told him, his voice soft and a little husky.

"I know you're probably right," Ianto sighed, shaking his head. "But after what happened that night .... I can't help but be nervous. Maybe I'll get over this fear at some point, Doctor. But it's going to take a while, obviously."

"We have time," the Doctor told him, scattering sand over the campfire to make sure that it was doused. "It's nothing to worry about, love. We'll just take it in small steps. You can't expect to get over something like that quickly. But you will. Eventually."

Personally, Ianto doubted that his fears would be calmed for a very, very long time. But, like the Doctor said, they had time. He didn't have to try to push himself. And he had the Doctor with him, to help him, to make sure that he was safe and protected.

The Doctor pulled the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket, lighting the way back to the Tardis. Ianto moved close to the Time Lord, taking the other man's hand in his own, still feeling nervous and exposed as they walked the last few feet to the blue police box.

He'd never felt so relieved as when the door opened and he could see into the comforting interior; something that would have looked strange to him not so long ago, but now looked like home. A home that he could feel safe in.

He took one last look around him as he stepped inside the Tardis, suppressing another shiver. He might be able to put his fears and leave the past behind him someday, but for now, he was more than content to turn his back on them and not face them until he had no choice but to do so.

***