Title: Purgatory's Journey
By: goetterdaemmerung
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: AO
Series: 1) The Ragnarok Cycle
Warnings: WiP, BDSM, Explicit Sex, Explicit Violence - Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Slash
Summary: Follow on series to The Ragnarok Cycle. Jack tries to keep Ianto from flying apart, but who is going to stop Jack from losing it.

***

His hand grabs me roughly by the hair and yanks my head back so I am forced to look into his eyes, cold calculating callous eyes devoid of warmth, boring into me as if I am to blame.

Maybe I am.

His breathing hitches as his hand fists my hair tighter, pulling me back further till tears blur my vision and yet I need this, I need him.

So swiftly does his other hand backhand me that I don't see it coming and the pain blindsides me for a moment and it takes all my powers of control not to gasp aloud.

For every slave knows it is to be seen, not heard.

Letting go of my hair he grasps the clamps attached to my nipples and twists them viscously, pulling down hard on them so I have to grit my teeth audibly and grimace with the pain.

In all this he has yet to say a word to me, but his eyes, Christ his eyes all but scream betrayer at me, filthy whore, worthless cunt.

Maybe I am.

Grabbing me by the throat he forces me backwards onto the desk, until my head overhangs the edge. I know what he wants.

I moisten my lips as I watch his hand caress his crotch as he unsnaps each closure of his leather pants. His cock is clearly defined by the tight leather stretched over it.

As the last closure opens I am assailed by the musky aroma of his cock, trapped within the confines of the cockring, the head is a dark purple, his foreskin only half covering his head.

His fingertip circles the head for a moment as he stretches his foreskin and rubs his fingers underneath it. I open my mouth as he takes his finger away then rubs it along my lips before thrusting it deep inside my mouth, making me taste his arousal and his musk.

As soon as his finger leaves my mouth it is replaced with his cock, no mercy, just a single solid thrust that forces me to gag as he goes deeper. Not caring for me at all, only own pleasure.

One hand grabs the back of my head as he slowly fucks my face, ramming his cock the full length down my throat, barely letting me breathe. I can't control the gagging noises I make as he repeatedly fucks my throat deeper and deeper.

He still has not uttered a word, not even a pleasured grunt, but he never does... not any more.

One last hard thrust into my throat and he holds it, I can't breathe and as I struggle to try get a breath I get another slap across my face as he forces himself even further down my throat and using his other hand forces my head to take him deeper.

Spots are appearing before my eyes as I try to hang on, but the last thing I see before I grey out is his eyes looking at me indifferently.

Several minutes later I come to again, still in the same position with his cock just before my face. The only difference now is that he holds a gun.

I can't help the garbled "no" that escapes me, but he doesn't care as he slowly pushes the gun past my lips and down to where his cock fucked my throat raw.

Now he looks down at me with almost a smile and the first words he has spoken all night are said.

"Goodbye Jack."

Cocking the gun he begins to wrap his finger around the trigger, then so quickly I don't know how, he reverses the gun and aims at his own temple and squeezes the trigger.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

___________________________________________________________________

I look around me and see the grey walls of my hole under the hub. Rivulets of sweat run down me as I shake from the shock of another one of those dreams. This will make the fourth one in two weeks.

Getting up I go over to wash my face and I look at myself in the mirror, "haggard, that's what you look like Harkness, haggard" I say to myself.

I am not joking, I know I tend to be a trifle vain, but hey when you look like I do, you can be... but not now. I look worn, haggard, lost.

Rinsing my mouth of the taste of bile my mind goes back to the dream. I don't need a rock to drop on me, I know what it means.

I blame myself for Ianto's breakdown and I deserve to suffer for it. Stupid I know, but all the same it is how I feel.

Looking at the clock, I am surprised by the time, it is almost six in the morning and Ianto will be here shortly.

He has been coming in here at six thirty every day since this all happened, He said that we couldn't be together any more, not until he sorts it out, but regardless he is in here an hour and a half early every day.

We don't really say much to each other, but the searching looks and aborted touches say more than words could.

I love Ianto Jones and Ianto Jones loves me.

Now if only this so called shrink can actually help Ianto, I have my doubts...

The perimeter alarm goes off on my wristband telling me that Ianto is right on time as usual. Quickly throwing on my shirt and trousers I exit my little hole in the ground and go to face the day.

"Morning Sir, coffee?" he asks.

I can't help the snort that escapes me, since when do I turn down an Ianto special... coffee that is.

I can see by his face that he realises that it is a stupid question, but we go through this every morning and at the moment Ianto needs the routine.

"Yan, how have things been going with Doctor Caruthers?"

The flinch on his face tells me more than anything he could say.

"You know Jack, I get to drag up every vile part of my childhood to an absolute stranger who just sits there with this false look of interest in his face and occasionally nods at the correct moments." Ianto venomously replies, "other than that, fine."

I knew this wasn't going to be easy by a long shot, but Ianto's intransigence doesn't help matters one iota.

"What about Gwen, Tosh and Owen, how are they treating you now?" this ones a bit harder for him to answer, I know he loves Tosh, platonically of course, Gwen he likes, but wishes she'd stay away from Owen. Then we get to Owen...

This is where I have to bear some blame and rightly so. Ever since Ianto started to Dom me, his confidence has increased to a point where he will not just be quiet when Owen goes on at him, but will instead actively go for the jugular... so to speak.

His glare tells me I am on dangerous ground, but he knows I mean well by my mini inquisition.

"You know Tosh and I are fine, although we don't see much of each other out of work any more, my fault. I just don't seem to be up to socialising lately," Ianto delivers this completely deadpan and causes me to do a double take.

Ianto's ever so slight grin gives him away and as small as that grin is, it is enough to let me know that he doesn't really mind me asking.

"Gwen and Owen on the other hand... well, I don't know Jack. It hurts me to a certain degree that I let them have this power over me, but I can't help it. I thought I got on well with Gwen. Now that she's fucking Owen, she takes his side constantly and throws little barbs at me, but I'm not sure of anything anymore Jack, between Owen's aggressiveness and Gwen's indifference, I don't know how we can go on."

I have been expecting this since his last session with that quack, he's shifting blame away from himself and onto others as a means of externalising conflict. That will never work and this quack he's seeing... something just doesn't add up there. I really need to check this out further.

***