Title: The Rich Man's Penny
By: crushedmidnight
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. I am not making profit from this work.
Summary: Ianto wants Jack to place more importance on his own life. Dialogue only.

***

"You don't put enough emphasis on life."

"What?"

"You asked me what I was thinking about. That's what I was thinking about."

"Explain to me how I don't."

"I just don't think you do."

"Value life?"

"Yes."

"I... do. I can. I promise, I value life, Ianto."

"Really?"

"I absolutely treasure yours."

"I want you to treasure your own life."

"Excuse me?"

"The way you throw yourself around, your life around, it's like you don't care."

"It's hard to explain."

"Like you don't care about your own life."

"Ianto. You honestly, honest-to-god, would not understand."

"Try me."

"It's... impossible."

"I'm bright enough."

"It's not an issue of that, it's... you're young. You're so young. All of you are, compared to me."

"I want you to try to explain it to me, Jack."

"No."

"Just try. Give me a word."

"Fine. Okay. One word: confusing. It's confusing."

"Explain."

"It's... oh. God. It's like..."

"What are you afraid of?"

"It's like... I don't want to die, permanently, this moment. I can't think how it would be to die. To have to start living... mortal-ish again, knowing I would die... for real. But I want to die. I don't want..."

"Go on."

"I don't want to live forever. If someone said, you could die at this moment but if not... you'd never have the chance again... yeah, I'd die now. And so, my life... it's not as... it shouldn't be as..."

"Say it, Jack."

"It shouldn't be considered as important as someone else's, because dying, it's not permanent for me, so... it shouldn't be a concern..."

"But you don't like it, do you? Jack? Jack...?"

"It would be selfish of me to think about my life in the way everyone else does. Like a rich man and a poor man put the same amount of money in the pot... that kind of makes the rich man a jerk, doesn't it?"

"I..."

"I die, and it's like giving a penny. It's nothing."

"I don't..."

"You don't know."

"I, uh... no."

"I told you. It's so damn complicated. So fucking confusing..."

"Jack..."

"The instinct, self-preservation, that's not gone, and I feel like a bastard for still reacting that way..."

"Jack..."

"But I don't let it show, so I guess..."

"Jack?"

"I have more life than you do. Than any of you do. So yeah, a... unit... of my life, specifically, it's worth less."

"It's not."

"No, it is, Ianto, it's not as important."

"I treasure your life, Jack. And I wish you did too."

"It's... not that simple... I... I can't..."

"What?"

"I don't think of myself as... you know..."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry... about it, or sorry... you mentioned it?"

"I didn't mean to..."

"What...? U-upset me?"

"No, but I... didn't mean to make it worse."

"I..."

"I just think you're worth more than you give yourself credit for."

"Yan... Ianto... leave it, please..."

"It scares me."

"You? It scares you?"

"Are you scared?"

"I'm... terrified."

"Jack?"

"I'm... so... all the t-time, every... m-moment..."

"I'm here."

"Iant... to..."

"I've got you, Jack. It's okay. You're okay."

***