Title: Roses Bloom
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, letter100
Prompt: 98, Rose
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

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My dearest Ianto,

When I awoke this morning, it took me a few moments to remember where I was. It felt strange to wake up in a place that wasn't our bedroom on the Tardis; I had to lie there and blink a few times, casting my mind back over what had happened the day before.

It took a few minutes for the memory to come back to me, and when it did, I had to smile. Checking into a hotel and making love all day is a very human thing to do, but it was something that I'd never engaged in before. It felt terribly decadent, but as you said, we deserved it.

With any other lover that I've ever had, I wouldn't have even thought of doing something like that. But with you, it felt very natural. I didn't even question the idea; maybe with anyone else, I would have balked and raised objections. Not with you. Never with you.

You've taught me to let go of so many inhibitions that I've carried with me over the centuries, Ianto. You've brought me out of myself in a way that I don't believe anyone else could ever have managed to do -- and you've made stepping out out of those shadows so easy.

At first awakening, it was a bit disheartening to realise that you weren't here with me; I'm so used to waking up in your arms and seeing your smile when I first open my eyes.

But when I looked at your pillow and saw the single red rose that you'd left there, along with the note explaining that you had gone out to get us breakfast, I couldn't help but smile. I didn't even feel my usual worry that something could happen to you.

That's a ridiculous concern, I know. I can't worry about you every time you're not within my sight, or by my side. I suppose it's hard for me not to worry, though, knowing that I can't always be with you to make sure that you're kept from any sort of harm.

I sound a bit like an anxious mother who wants too much to keep her child safe, don't I? But I can't help it, love. You've become so much an indispensable part of my hearts and soul, of my very life, so deeply ingrained within me, that I can't help wanting to keep you safe.

It's impossible for me to do that, I know. Even when I left you behind me in all those times I went out into the stars without you by my side, you weren't safe because you were working with Torchwood. I did a good job of convincing myself that you were, though.

I should never have let myself do that. I knew that it was very possible you could be harmed more in your work with Torchwood than you would ever be with me, but I couldn't make myself believe that it would be right to make you lead the kind of life I do.

It never occurred to me that if you were with me, then neither of us would be leading the lonely lives that we'd resigned ourselves to before we met. I was being wilfully blind.

How many times did I tell myself before I met you that I was destined to be alone, to only have a few companions here and there who would be nothing more than friends? After the relationship with Jack fell apart, I'd convinced myself that I wasn't meant to have love in my life.

And then you came barreling into my life, and turned all of my perceptions upside-down. I've never regretted that for a single second, beloved. I never will. You've changed my life for the better in every way, and I'll never want to change a moment of the time we're together.

I'm sitting at the small writing desk in front of the window in our hotel room, looking down at the street below and hoping that I'll be able to see you there when you return to the hotel. But even if I don't see you, I know that you're there -- never far away from me.

Even though I can't see you, and you aren't directly in my presence, I can still feel you here with me, a part of my soul, so closely entwined with me that I can't really tell where I end and you begin. You're in my system, Ianto, and I don't ever want you to leave.

Before I fell in love with you, I never would have thought that it was possible for me to be so completely integrated with another being -- especially a human. I'm not like others of my race; I've never thought that humans are an inferior species, but I never thought I would be so in love with one of them.

That just goes to show how wrong I can be, doesn't it? And for once in my life, I'm more thankful than I can possibly express to have been proved wrong.

Holding the rose you left on the pillow to my face, I can close my eyes and feel the softness of the petals against my skin. I can imagine that the cool velvety texture of those petals is your touch, your warm fingers stroking across my cheek.

I can inhale the scent of that rose and know that the sweetness is an extension of your feelings for me, a sweetness that I never thought I would have in my life. I always envied others for having that sort of possibility in their futures; I never thought I would find it for myself.

It's almost as though the rose is kissing my skin, as fanciful and romantic as that may be. I can close my eyes and imagine that the silky softness of the fresh petals are what your lips will feel like on mine when you come back into this room and take me into your arms.

I know that you'll understand why I'm comparing our emotions to the full bloom of the rose I'm holding close to my hearts, and that you'll agree with every word. After all, you left this rose on my pillow for a reason -- and that loving message has been received loud and clear.

Always your loving

Doctor

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