Title: For Old Times' Sake
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: R
Table: 50_smutlets
Prompt: 44, Past
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor turned over in bed, pummeling at his pillow and cursing under his breath. It was unfortunate that now, when his body was worn out and he needed sleep, his thoughts should stray to Jack and make it difficult to get the rest he needed.

It didn't often happen that he wasn't able to sleep -- mainly because he didn't need much sleep. But he'd developed a rather bad habit of letting himself get far too worn down before he succumbed to his need for rest. He'd have to stop doing that.

He sighed, turning over onto his back and pulling the covers up to his bare shoulders. Maybe that was why he was thinking of Jack now, because he was so tired.

That was when thoughts he'd rather bury in the back of his mind would usually come to the surface, after all -- when he was too tired to force them back. And thoughts of Jack were really the last thing he needed to think of now.

Especially thoughts of how they'd been when they were together. Until the advent of Jack in his life, he'd never thought of himself as a sexual being. But Jack had brought out something in him that he'd always held back in his other bodies.

Of course, that had something to do with the fact that this was the most attractive body he'd ever had, too. But it was more than that; it was that particular physical chemistry that he had with Jack, that chemistry that made them unable to get enough of each other.

Closing his eyes, he let his mind drift back to the nights he'd spent with the immortal; nights that had been filled with a passion he'd never known before, and hadn't known since. A passion he never would have thought he was capable of.

He wouldn't have thought himself capable of a great many things before Jack had come barreling into his life -- sexual things, at any rate.

Even his private thoughts had turned more sexual since he'd met Jack. When he'd been involved with the other man, he'd been unable to keep those thoughts out of the forefront of his mind most of the time, and for once he hadn't been embarrassed by them.

Those thoughts had turned into reality when he and Jack had been alone in the Hub. They'd done so many things there that the rest of the team would probably have liked to see -- well, at least the more lascivious members of Torchwood.

There had been the time when Jack had taken him on the floor in the main part of the Hub, where all the desks were -- breathing words in the Doctor's ear as he thrust inside him over and over again to the effect of leaving the tape playing when the rest of the team came in to work.

The Doctor had made him promise that he wouldn't do that, but he still hadn't quite trusted Jack not to -- and he wondered if the immortal had ever shown the tape to anyone.

And there had been so many other places. Jack had literally stripped his clothes off and thrown him over Ianto's desk one night, slamming into him so hard that it took his breath away and he could have sworn that he'd seen stars swimming behind his vision.

The Doctor was certain that Tosh wouldn't be happy to find out that Jack had sat down in her chair and pulled him down into his lap, pushing into him with an insistence that had made the Time Lord cry out in surprise. That had certainly been unexpected.

And then there was the time he'd been bent over Owen's chair with Jack going at him from behind, his eyes focused on the papers lying scattered on Owen's desk, his hands gripping the edge of that desk in a death grip as he'd gasped with each hard thrust.

Sighing, he turned over again, burying his face in the pillow and wishing those tantalizing memories would simply melt away.

All of that was in the past now. Jack had turned his back -- walked away from him as all his other companions had eventually done. The one person who could give him the forever he craved had chosen to withhold the one thing he most wanted.

He hated to admit that there was a part of him that still bitterly resented Jack's decision -- and also resented the man who'd made that choice. It would have been so easy for Jack to stay, to live up to his promises of love and fidelity.

It would have been so easy for him to have given that. But he couldn't be forced to it; if it didn't come of his own free will, then it meant nothing, and it wasn't something that the Doctor wanted to have. Not if the wish to stay didn't come from the heart.

The Doctor allowed himself a bitter little smile, almost laughing at the thought of Jack's promises. He'd known those promises would never be kept even as they were being made.

It wasn't in Jack's nature to be faithful. He'd known that from the beginning. But there had been a little part of him that had hung on to the hope that, maybe, he was the person Jack could stay with and be faithful to. The person that Jack could love.

That hope had died the day that Jack had looked into his eyes and told him point-blank that he was leaving. That had been the last time he'd dared to hope; from that moment on, he'd told himself that he wasn't going to look for anything more than casual companionship again.

He'd kept that promise to himself, at any rate. At least he was better at keeping his own promises than Jack had ever been at keeping his. And he certainly didn't intend to make promises to anyone that he knew he had no intention of keeping.

The Doctor sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and pushing the memories away from him. He didn't want to think of them again, not even for old times' sake.

All of that needed to be kept in the past, where it belonged. There was no reason to let it all out again; it was just coming back to him with such clarity because he was having a vulnerable moment. If he could just manage to go to sleep, the memories would cease to plague him.

That was easier said than done, he told himself sourly, wrapping his arms around the pillow and trying to push those thoughts into a corner of his mind. Somehow, sleep always seemed to be furthest away when he needed it the most.

After what seemed like a long time, he felt himself relaxing, his body starting to drift into sleep and the thoughts of Jack and their time together receding. He heaved another sigh, turning onto his side and sliding one hand under his cheek.

It would be so much easier to fall asleep if Jack's arms were around him as they'd been in the past, he thought blearily just before slumber claimed him.

***