Title: Save You
By: Jennie-x
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Song: Simple Plan – Save You
Summary: Jack will never stop trying to save Ianto.

***

Jack heard the bullet before he saw the blood; he heard the bullet before his body hit the floor; he heard the bullet and then his life was over. Owen stood their motionless, a doctor could deal with bodies who were alive, he could deal with bodies he could heal, he couldn't do anything to a dead body. Gwen fell to her knees in desperation. Then there was another bullet and Jack saw red. Another lifeless body had fallen to the floor, and Jack hoped it would be the last. Toshiko cried out, Martha tried to hold her, to stop her from screaming but the one thing she couldn't do was stop them mourning.

"Ianto... no..." Jack flung himself desperately to the floor, searching for a life sign, a single breath, some sign of life. But there was nothing. Just the cold face of death. His tears fell to the floor, mixing with the rain that he couldn't feel; he was numb.

"We should get him back to the hub..." It was Gwen who spoke, she was still on the floor next to Jack. Her own eyes red and puffy, she placed a hand on Jack's shoulder in comfort but was pushed away in anger.

"He can't leave me..." Jack sobbed. "He can't..." He held onto the now cold hand that sat lifelessly in his large palm. "Ianto, you promised me!" Jack shouted in anger, but his voice was washed away with love. "You promised me you wouldn't leave..."

-x-

Jack woke up with a sharp intake of breath. He wondered momentarily if he had died. He felt no physical pain, yet his heart felt tainted. He sat up, and looked next to him, an empty bed. He sat back in defeat, tears welling in his eyes. It was just a dream. He knew that, he could still smell the lingering scent of his lover on his pillow, he could still feel him next to him. He looked beside him at the clock that sat aimlessly on the bedside cabinet, that and the bed were the only signs of life in the quaint room Jack called a home. 5:53, Ianto would be in soon. Ianto was alive, and he would be in soon.

Jack got out of bed. The dream had scared him, sent shivers down his spine and had his heart beating at an inhuman rate. A shower would do him the world of good. He turned the temperature down low, ice cold, he needed to feel something other than pain and sorrow. He stood under the rays completely motionless. The cold water was enough to wake him, but he still couldn't move. The dream had felt so real – it was real, just with a sick and twisted end. Owen was dead. But not quite. Jack knew he had made a mistake, he should never have brought Owen back to life, back to an existence that wasn't even a life. He shook his head as more tears fell, he wasn't too sure when the tears had started to fall, but he let them fall. As long as he could fall apart in private then he would. Half an hour later, he forced his shivering body from the freezing cold pain and dried himself quickly. Dying of hypothermia was something he didn't need right now. He put on his usual slacks, his fingers and hands still shaking from fear and the shower. He heard the proximity alarm go off and took a deep breath; Ianto was here.

Take a breath

I pull myself together

Just another step till I reach the door

Jack smiled an appreciative smile; Ianto was wearing the cute suit. A mixture of black, grey and white, something that always made Jack smile. He wondered briefly if Ianto was a mind reader, feeling his lover upset and doing something he knew would cheer him up. He shook it out of his head and smiled; Ianto just knew him too well. Jack willed his heart to slow down, to stop racing in fear. Ianto was alive, Ianto was well. He walked down the stairs, and before he knew what was happening, Jack had his arms wrapped around his young lover in a desperate need to be reassured he was really there. Ianto stood there, he didn't need to understand what the reason behind the embrace was, he just knew Jack needed it and that was enough for him.

"You okay?" Jack asked, he pulled Ianto away at arms length, as though he was inspecting him, looking for a sign of upset, but there was nothing.

"I'm fine, Jack. What's wrong?" Ianto asked, he placed his hand over Jack's, he ran his thumb over Jack's knuckles and instantly felt him relax.

You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

"I just... missed you." Jack stared deeply into Ianto's eyes. Ianto's eyes were what Jack loved most about him. So grey and so blue, they could look deep into your soul without judging anything they've seen. So understanding, and just beautiful to loose himself in, Jack shook his head as he felt the gaze strengthen.

"Jack, I've been gone three hours." Ianto searched his lovers face for a clue, for something, but there was nothing but raw emotion that he couldn't read. "Tell me what's wrong, please."

Jack nodded, he wanted to, and at some point he knew that he needed to. But he didn't know if he could find the words. "How about I make us some coffee, then we can sit down and talk yeah?" Jack smiled, Ianto always knew what to do and say in any situation.

"Thank you."

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

Within ten minutes Jack was sat on the small sofa behind Toshiko's work station, his hands cradling a perfect cup of coffee as Ianto sat next to him. Ianto knew that he shouldn't push Jack to talk, when he was ready he would open up, he'd cry, and Ianto would hold him until the tears stop.

"I wish I could save you, Yan..." Jack said gently. "And I couldn't..."

"Jack, what are you talking about?" Ianto didn't want to talk about this. The subject in hand always left Ianto feeling insecure, left him feeling alone and needing Jack even more.

"I dreamt, last night... it was you... not Owen..." Ianto looked up at Jack, he wasn't surprised to see tears in the older man's eyes, but he was surprised when he felt tears swell up in his own. He always hid his emotions from Jack, especially when Jack needed him. "I just, I couldn't save you..."

"It was just a dream, Jack." Ianto said urgently, he had to make Jack believe it. It was just a dream, I'm safe, I'm here, Ianto tried to express but Jack had just stared at him blankly as though the dream had taken over, and Ianto wasn't there any more.

"You were dead on the floor, and there was so much blood and you just stared up at me..."

"It was a dream, Jack." Ianto said a little louder. Jack stared at him and nodded.

"It felt real." Ianto knew what he meant, he himself had had so many nightmares in the past that had him waking up screaming, scared that there were monsters under his bed, only now did he know just how real those monsters were. "I couldn't save you..."

"You always save me!" Ianto insisted.

"What if I don't?" Jack yelled, his anger slipping through his defences. "I can't save everyone! I couldn't save Owen!"

"It's not your responsibility to save everyone Jack!" Ianto screamed back, his emotions out there for Jack to see. "You can't be the hero all the time, Jack."

"But I need to be able to save you, I can't loose you like I've lost everyone else!" Jack stared at Ianto who was now standing silently in front of him. "You've been close to dying so many times, and every time I've felt like dying and not waking up, because when you go that's what's going to happen to me..."

"Don't Jack..." Ianto pleaded. "I'm human, Jack. Skin and Bones. Skin that will one day whither, and bones that will no longer be able to hold me together. But that day isn't now. I'm not leaving you..."

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
You're Just skins and bones
There's nothing left to take
No matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

"I don't think I'm ever going to be able to handle loosing you, Ianto." Jack whispered, the conversation had stopped abruptly after Ianto's outburst and the two just stood there.

"Jack, loosing people never gets easy. I may not be immortal, Jack. But I've lost people. My parents, my little sister, my friends, Lisa... Owen... I know what it feels like and every time someone I've loved died, I just carry on. Yes it hurts, and yes at the time you feel like you can't but you do. Because if you don't, loving them would just be in vain if you can't live with the memory of them!" Jack just looked at the floor now, he hadn't expected that. He hadn't expected a fight, he had expected a hug and a few soft and gentle words. But this was better, this was what he needed.

"I'm sorry," He sighed. Jack looked up at Ianto and watched as he cried.

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

"Take me to bed, Jack." The words caught Jack off guard. "Let me remind you how alive I am." Jack nodded, that was what he needed to.

"Are you sure?" Jack knew that Ianto wasn't one for angry make up sex, not when technically speaking they hadn't said their truths.

"Yes. Because some time's Jack, I need you to save me too."

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

Jack took Ianto's hand in his and led him to the small bunk under his office. They still had at least three hours until anyone would arrive, and Jack was determined to make them feel both alive. Once they were down the ladder, he pulled Ianto close and just held him, much like he had upstairs. Hands searched each others clothed bodies, both content in just being embraced. Jack was the first to move on from the hug, pulling Ianto away to pull him closer with a passionate kiss that had both their hearts hammering. Ianto broke the kiss for air, his fingers shaking with lust as he started to undress Jack.

Once Ianto was topless, Jack pushed him lightly back so he fell onto the bed. He straddled his legs and let his mouth kiss along every inch of exposed skin he could find. He swirled his tongue around his right nipple, as his fingers lightly pinched the left, both movements making Ianto moan beneath him. He moved his lips higher a little, right where his heart should be. He felt the skin pulsating beneath his lips as he kissed him hard, his teeth biting at the skin determined to leave a mark.

"You're already marked on my heart, Jack..." Ianto smiled down, tears still in his eyes. Jack looked up and smiled sweetly, he pressed a soft kiss to Ianto's lips before wiping the tears away with his thumb.

"I'm sorry." Jack said again, he knew he shouldn't have told Ianto about his dream. How was he expecting Ianto to act telling him he had a dream about him dying, something that most likely was going to happen soon with their job.

"It's okay," Ianto smiled straight back up at him. "Just, make me feel alive, Jack."

If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Jack unzipped his trousers and pushed them off onto the floor, he'd worry about creases later. He did the same with his briefs, slinging them carelessly to the floor as Ianto watched him. He removed the rest of Ianto's clothes and lined their bodies up perfectly, just slowly moving to each other as though they were dancing to an intimate song only they could hear.

"Need you, Jack..." Ianto whispered between intakes of breaths and moans. Jack nodded and reached across to the cabinet and took the lube from the draw. After slicking up his fingers, he pushed them one by one into Ianto. Ianto buzzed with excitement beneath him, three fingers rubbed against his prostate and he knew he was ready, he looked up at Jack and smiled knowingly. With one last push against the spot that made Ianto make the delicious sounds he was making, Jack removed his fingers and positioned Ianto so his legs were drawn apart. He slicked up his own cock, before pushing in slowly. He settled Ianto's legs around his waist, pulling him onto his lap. He needed to hold him, to be so close to him. They moved together in synch. Both holding onto each other with as much of their lives as they could give.

Ianto was shivering in pleasure, no one had ever made him feel so alive, so free as Jack did. "You always save me, Jack." Ianto whispered. Jack moved his hips slowly, determined to make this last as long as possible.

"Is it enough though?" Jack asked, his insecurities leaking through.

"It's enough for me, Jack." Ianto bit down on his shoulder as Jack brushed against his prostate once more.

"Promise me you wont leave me," Jack begged as he pushed harder and deeper.

"I can't promise you that, Jack." Ianto said slowly, his voice was covered in lust and sorrow. Jack bucked his hips desperately as though he was trying to change Ianto's mind.

"I know," He sighed. He pushed in harder, he knew he was going to come soon. He looked at Ianto's face and smiled softly. The picture of pure perfection.

"Jack..." Ianto moaned loudly, and Jack moved faster, pulling out and pushing back in, pulling down on Ianto's hips, and that was enough for the youngest lover to come hard with a desperate cry of pleasure. Jack rode him through the orgasm, pumping harder and harder, coming with a final thrust, he almost sobbed at the thought of never being able to hold Ianto like this again. Who knew when this would be the last time?

They lay together, content in just holding each other. "You can't give me a life time Jack, but I can give you mine. However long it may be, it's yours. I'm yours completely. Just don't stop saving me, Jack."

"I'll never stop saving you, Ianto Jones." Jack promised.

"I need you to promise me something," Ianto said, his voice suddenly turned serious. Jack looked up at him, as if to say anything, and Ianto continued. "When it happens, when I die. Don't bring me back, sometimes the best way to save someone is to let them go." Jack wanted to argue, he wanted to tell Ianto no, that he would bring him back and they could be together forever, but he understood what Ianto had said and nodded his head.

"I promise."

***