Title: Second Choice
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Series: 1) Caught in the Rain
Table: 100_tales
Prompt: 86, Choices
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Jack Harkness. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor didn't turn around; Jack's hand on his shoulder felt like a slab of granite, weighing him down and holding him firmly in place. He couldn't move, couldn't speak; he could barely breathe. Of all the things he'd expected, this hadn't been one of them.

Why had he thought that he could avoid Jack if he came to this time, to the very place where they'd parted? He should have known that the strange bond they seemed to still share would tell Jack that he was here, and that the immortal would be as drawn to this place as he was.

He didn't want to turn around, didn't want to look at Jack. But he knew that he had to, no matter how much he dreaded it. He didn't want to see those eyes again. He didn't want to let Jack see the resentment that he was sure still clouded his own gaze -- or the hurt that was sure to be there, as well.

No, he wanted Jack to think that he was all right, that he was perfectly fine with the decision that the immortal had made to leave him. He couldn't admit that kind of weakness to Jack. He had his pride, after all, cold comfort that it was.

Trying to keep his emotions hidden, his face deliberately blank, he turned around, blinking the raindrops off his lashes and focusing his gaze on the tall, handsome man standing so close to him.

"Doctor." Jack's voice was soft, almost like a caress. He remembered that voice; it had haunted his dreams for the entire time they'd been parted. That voice had come to him in his imagination, saying words that he'd always wanted to hear but had known that Jack would never be able to bring himself to actually say.

"Jack." Good. His voice wasn't trembling; his emotions weren't spilling out all over the concrete for the other man to see. He was going to be able to keep his presence of mind, and not fall apart in front of Jack, as hard as it might be to do so.

He wasn't going to beg Jack to come back to him, to give what they'd had another chance. Jack had made his choice, and that choice had been to deliberately turn his back, to live a life that didn't include the Doctor. He wasn't going to ask that the choice be reconsidered, or reversed.

"I've missed you." That voice was still warm, more emotional than he'd expected Jack to be. Now, that was a change. He'd thought that he would be the one to let his feelings show -- but it appeared that Jack had let his guard down, for once.

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak for a few moments. "I've missed you, too," he finally managed to say, cursing himself for the stilted sound of his words. All this time, and he couldn't think of anything better than that to say to the man he loved?

Jack's hand dropped from his shoulder, and the Doctor nearly took a step towards the other man, needing that physical contact. But he held himself back, keeping his emotions under as rigid a control as he could muster. This wasn't the time to break down. Not here, not now.

"This is stupid," Jack muttered, his eyes not leaving the Time Lord's face. Without another word, he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the Doctor and pulling the slender man close against the warmth of his body.

The Doctor couldn't keep back a soft gasp, his eyes going wide. He almost pulled away from that warmth -- but turning away from Jack was something he could never bring himself to do.

He closed his eyes, burying his face against Jack's shoulder. Those strong, warm arms were around him, holding in a way he'd thought he would never be held again. Jack was here, Jack was with him -- and that knowledge almost obliterated the pain of all the time he'd been parted from this man.

"Why, Jack?" he managed to whisper, wondering if the immortal would even understand what he was referring to. He was sure that Jack wasn't as haunted by the memories of what they'd had together as he was; he did, after all, have a life on Earth, one that made him happy.

"Because I didn't think I was what you needed," Jack murmured, stroking his hair, those lips soft and warm against his forehead. "I've got that bad habit of flirting with everybody I meet, even if I don't want them, and I know how that made you feel. I couldn't stand thinking that you might be unhappy with me."

"I've never needed anything but you," the Doctor whispered, appalled at himself for letting those words slip out. He hadn't meant to say them, hadn't meant to let Jack know how he felt. But it was too late now -- he couldn't take the words back.

Jack was silent for a few moments, the Doctor's words hanging in the air between them. His hold on the Time Lord tightened, his breath soft against the other man's hair. Finally, he looked up, smiling a little and shaking his head, scattering raindrops from his hair.

"We should get somewhere dry. I don't need you catching a cold," he said softly, stepping back a little, then taking the Doctor's hand in his. "I know from experience that you're not a good patient."

The Doctor nodded, swallowing past a lump in his throat. They would go into the Tardis, they would talk, and Jack would tell him again why he'd had to leave, why he'd made that choice. And he would make that same choice again -- and leave the Doctor alone. He was sure of it.

Why was he putting himself through this pain again? He shouldn't have come here.

That was a question he had a ready answer to, a little voice in the back of his mind piped up. He was here because he hadn't been able to resist the temptation of possibly seeing Jack, of being in the same place that his former lover was. He couldn't keep himself away.

Jack led the way into the ship, letting the Doctor close the door behind them and going over to the comfortable couch that rested against one wall of the control room. After a few moments, the Doctor sat down beside him, hands clasped in his lap, not looking at the man sitting quietly next to him.

"I didn't want to leave you, you know," Jack told him, his voice soft and gentle. "It was the hardest thing I've ever done, making that choice to walk away from you. I left my heart with you, Doctor, in your keeping. You're the only person I want to have it."

"You've always had both of my hearts," the Doctor managed to choke out, trying to keep back tears. "But you left me, Jack. You didn't want them."

"No, you're wrong," Jack whispered, turning to him and reaching for the Doctor's hands, taking them into his own. "I always wanted them. I was just afraid that I couldn't be what you needed, that I'd end up hurting you. I couldn't stand to do that, and I knew that I eventually would."

"So you hurt me even more by walking away from me and making me think that you didn't want to be with me, that I would always be second choice," the Doctor said, his voice trembling, not looking at Jack. "But that was something you didn't have to see, so it was easier for you to deal with."

"I made the wrong choice," Jack told him, his tone regretful. "I've spent every night since that one wishing I'd stayed. I shouldn't have left you, Doctor. I know that now. I just hope you can forgive me for it. And that you're willing to give me another chance to show you that you're not second choice."

The Doctor was silent for long moments, considering. This was what he'd wanted all along, wasn't it? Another chance with Jack. But was this really what Jack wanted -- and what he needed? Could he take this man away from Torchwood? Would Jack be happy without that in his life?

"The choice is yours, Doctor," Jack said softly, reaching out to raise the Time Lord's face to his own. "I'm not going to walk away from you again. I'm giving you the chance to do that, if you want to. But I'm hoping you won't. I'm hoping you feel the same way I do."

"What if I make the wrong choice?" The Doctor's voice was barely audible, a few tears making their way down his cheeks. "I can't make this decision for you, Jack. I don't want to do the wrong thing and have you end up hating me for it."

Jack raeched out to brush the tears away with soft, gentle fingertips. "You won't make the wrong choice," he murmured, his own voice thick with suppressed emotion. "I think you've known all along that I haven't been happy with the choice I made."

"I want you to come with me," the Doctor finally said, forcing himself to meet Jack's gaze. "I've been too long without you, Jack. I've lost you once. I won't lose you again."

"See? I knew you'd make the right choice." Jack smiled, leaning forward to brush his lips against the Time Lord's. "We'll need to go to the Hub and let the others know that I won't be around for a while. But after that .... I'm all yours." His voice softened, his gaze resting on the Time Lord. "Just like I've always been."

"And I've always been yours." The Doctor got to his feet, weak with relief. Jack was going to be with him. He wouldn't be alone any longer; he wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life resentting the choice that his lover had made. "But you knew that, didn't you?"

"Of course I did." Jack's hand was closing over his, the other man's arm looping around his waist to pull him close. "And I always knew you'd come back here. I was waiting for you to show up so we could put things right. What took you so long, anyway?"

"I don't know," the Doctor murmured, letting himself sink into Jack's embrace, closing his eyes and raising his face to Jack's. "I suppose coming back here was a choice that I was afraid to make. But I'm glad that I finally did."

"So am I," Jack whispered before his mouth came down on the Doctor's, chasing away any doubts that either of them might have had about the validity of the choice they'd made.

***