Title: Stripped To the Soul
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, 50ficlets
Prompt: 41, Stripped
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto stood looking at himself in the mirror, studying his face and body. What was it that the Doctor saw in him? True, he wasn't bad-looking, but he could see nothing special in himself that would draw the Time Lord in his direction.

Jack had been drawn to him, too, but that had been nothing more than a purely physical attraction at first. There had been no deeper feelings, at least not on Jack's part. Oh, the immortal's feelings had grown, but they'd withered much sooner than Ianto had expected.

His own feelings for Jack had gone deeper than just the physical, but he'd been surprised to find that his own emotions had lessened once Jack had pulled away from him. Their relationship hadn't been based on the sort of deeper feelings that he shared with the Doctor.

He felt more for the Doctor than he ever had for anyone in his life -- all his other loves seemed like no more than passing fancies compared to what he felt for the Time Lord. And it was easy to see why he'd fallen so head over heels in love.

The Doctor was not only beautiful, but he was intelligent, funny, loyal, brave .... all the things that Ianto wanted to be, and that he tried hard to achieve. He did reach those goals, at least in part; but he would never be the man that the Doctor was.

Ianto sighed, his shoulders slumping. What was the use in trying to live up to who the Doctor could be? He wasn't made that way; he was only human, with all of a human being's failings and shortcomings. He'd never feel that he was worthy of the man he loved.

Still .... he looked up, studying himself critically, his blue-grey gaze scrutinizing the person that was reflected in front of him. The Doctor saw something in him, something that had made him fall in love, that had made him choose Ianto to be his mate, the one he'd bonded with.

They shared something that went far deeper than any other relationship Ianto had been in; the emotions between them couldn't be described using only a few words. Ianto didn't think there were words for what he felt for the other man.

The Doctor's love and belief in him stripped him down to the bare essentials of his soul, making him look at himself with this critical eye and ascertain just who and what he wanted to be. And that wasn't a bad thing, if he took it in the right frame of mind.

He didn't have to strip down to his skin to look at himself in this mirror and see himself in his entirety. He'd felt in the past that he'd been good at hiding who he was behind how he dressed, his urbane manner, his somewhat flippant remarks.

That had been the way he'd lived his life before the Doctor had taken him outside of himself and made him realize that he was hiding behind a facade of who he wanted to be seen as, instead of presenting who he really was to the world.

Ianto closed his eyes, sighing softly before opening them again and studying himself. He might not be stripped of the outer trappings he wore, but he felt more naked than if he had been, looking at himself in the mirror and feeling that he could see into his own soul.

Why was he doing this? He'd already ascertained that he would never feel worthy of the Doctor, never be able to live up to the person he thought he should be. There was no point in making himself feel worse about what he could never be.

He didn't have to live up to anyone's expectations, Ianto told himself firmly, taking a deep breath and drawing himself up to his full height as he kept his eyes on his reflection. The Doctor loved him for who he was, exactly as he was -- and that should be enough.

Yes, the Time Lord stripped him down to the soul, and exposed his failings to himself. But those were things that he needed to see, in order to know what he had to work at changing and improving to feel that he was worthy to be with the man he loved.

He had nothing to be ashamed of, Ianto thought as he looked himself over critically, either inside or out. The Doctor loved him, in spite of what he himself saw as his faults. Even when the Time Lord saw him figuratively stripped to his soul, that love endured.

His lover saw what was best in him and brought those qualities out effortlessly, Ianto told himself, a smile starting to curve his lips as he thought of the Doctor. He found himself trying to be a better man every day of his life, just by virtue of having the Doctor's love in his heart.

The smile spread slowly over his face at the thought as he turned from the mirror at the sound of a soft footstep in the corridor. He might be stripping of more than his outward facade in a few moments, he told himself, the idea making his smile widen and his heart race with anticipation.

***