Title: Suddenly
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Buffet 2, fc_smorgasbord
Prompt: 10, Suddenly
Author's Note: This fic was inspired by Billy Ocean's song "Suddenly."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

When had the sky become so blue?

Ianto looked up, shading his eyes from the brightness of the sun. This wasn't the first time that he and the Doctor had decided to land the Tardis on a beach, but it was the first time he'd stopped to think about why he liked places like this so much.

Before he'd met the Doctor, a beach had just been another place to spend time at. There had never seemed to be anything special about it; just a stretch of sand, and waves rolling in to the shore. It had never seemed particularly awe-inspiring.

But now .... ever since he'd met the Time Lord, there were so many scenes in the world that caught his notice, things that he'd never paid attention to before. Colors seemed brighter, scents more intoxicating, images sharper and more eye-catching.

He couldn't help but smile as he leaned his head against the door frame of the Tardis, thinking of just why everything around him had taken on a new dimension since he'd begun traveling with the Time Lord. The reason was clear to him; he didn't have to ask why.

I used to think that love was just a fairy tale
Until that first hello until that first smile

He'd never been one to believe in true love, something that lasted forever. He'd been in love, and he'd lost both people who he'd given his heart to. He'd turned away from love then, feeling that it was something transitory rather than all-encompassing.

Ianto had given up on love, turning his back on the belief that it could lift him to the skies. He hadn't wanted to give his heart to anyone again, hadn't wanted to feel the kind of pain that he knew would knife through him at the thought of losing someone he loved.

Then he'd met the Doctor -- and everything had changed.

Love was no longer just a fairy tale that would end at the stroke of midnight, a dream that could never come true in the real world. It was real, tangible, something that he could feel in his heart, a feeling that he was sure he could reach out and touch.

It had only taken one word, one smile. All he'd had to do was to look into those meltingly brown eyes, see that gorgeous smile beaming at him, and his heart had flown right into the Doctor's arms, whether the Time Lord had known it or not.

That first smile had changed everything for him. In that one moment, his life had become riveted on the Doctor; he'd known that he had found the love he'd been searching for and that he'd mistakenly thought he'd had with other people.

But if I had to do it all again I wouldn't change a thing
Cause this love is everlasting

The two of them had been through so much in the time that they'd been together. There had been good and bad times, encounters with the Master and John Hart, battles against enemies that Ianto would at one time never have believed could possibly exist.

He'd stood by the Doctor's side when they'd faced enemies that would have made him turn and run in the past. His love for the Time Lord had made him feel that he could conquer anything -- and he wouldn't have left the man he loved alone to face such horrors.

If he could have lived this time with the Doctor over again and had the chance to change anything that had happened to them, he wouldn't have done it. Not even the worst parts of that time. It had all led to where they were now, to making him the person he was.

Even that horrible time when the Doctor had left him and given himself to the Master, thinking that their relationship was at an end -- no, he wouldn't change that. It had made them stronger, given them an even greater appreciation of the love they shared.

The only thing that he would change and take away, if he could, was the pain that the Doctor had been through. Not only the physical pain of what the Master had done to him during that time, but the pain of thinking that Ianto was no longer at his side.

But he couldn't change that. It was the past, over and done. They'd put it behind them and moved on, as it should be. All the pain that they'd both endured, both physical and emotional, had brought them to where they were now -- more in love than they'd ever been.

And that love would last forever. Ianto didn't doubt it for a moment.

Suddenly life has new meaning to me
There's beauty up above and things we never take notice of
You wake up suddenly you're in love

There was so much that he'd never taken notice of in the world before he'd met the Doctor. So much beauty around him that he'd always taken for granted, that he now looked at through new eyes, as though he'd never seen it before.

Like the blue sky above him, and the white-capped waves rolling in to the beach. Even the sand seemed to have a different texture than it ever had before; it was like a golden expanse of velvet, stretching out to all sides around him.

Why had he never noticed any of these things before he'd met the Doctor? He'd only been half-alive then; the world around him had just been a place to wander through, but never something that he'd been fully cognizant of. He'd never really looked.

Love had done that for him. Love had opened his eyes.

Not only to the world around him, but to everything he had in his life. Ianto's blue-grey gaze softened as he looked out over the expanse of water that led to the horizon; he felt humbled, dwarfed by the grandeur of the world around him, the world that he finally felt in sync with.

You're everthing a man could want and more
One thousand words are not enough to say what I feel inside

The Doctor was everything he'd ever wanted in life, all he'd ever needed to make his word complete. How had he existed before the Time Lord had burst into his life? Ianto wasn't sure, but he knew that he'd only been existing -- not living.

He had fooled himself into thinking that he had what he wanted -- a job he enjoyed, friends, a future that stretched ahead of him. But he hadn't wanted to admit that he was lonely, that he hadn't found the other half of his soul.

He had thought at one time that Jack could be that person, the one who would complete him. And before that, he'd thought it was Lisa. But he'd been wrong on both counts, and at the point when the Doctor had come into his life, he'd given up on finding that soul mate.

But the Time Lord had changed all of that, with one single smile.

Ianto hadn't known that he could fall so hard. He hadn't thought that it was possible for one person to encompass everything he could posisbly want in a mate, to be everything to him all at once. It had almost been too much for him to fathom.

He'd quickly gotten past that first rush of shock and awe -- and let himself get used to the feeling of falling hopelessly, utterly in love. He'd tried to express that feeling so many times, but everything he'd said had seemed to fall short.

He had written letters, love notes, and tried to tell the Doctor in words exactly how he felt. But nothing had ever seemed to completely express the feelings that were in his heart and soul, and he'd given up trying to put those emotions into mere words.

The Doctor knew how he felt. All he had to do was look into his eyes to see those emotions written there; and when they made love, he could feel Ianto's love for him as they entwined their hearts and souls as well as their bodies.

They didn't need words. They never would.

Holding hands as we walk along the shore
Never felt like this before
Now you're all I'm living for

How many times had he walked along a beach just like this with the Doctor, holding hs lover's hand and wishing that this peaceful time alone together would never have to end?

There had been too many to count, Ianto told himself, smiling at the memories. And not just beaches -- they'd walked through forests, through parks, and even down city streets, secure in the knowledge that no matter what might happen, they had each other.

No one had ever given him that warm feeling of comfort and security before. There had always been the knowledge that this person wasn't a perfect fit, that there was always the possibility of being alone again. There had never been a feeling of forever.

It was different with the Doctor. Somehow, Ianto had instinctively known, even from their first meeting, that being with this man would mean forever. Once they were together, there would be no forsaking each other, no turning back.

And he wouldn't have wanted to turn back. Not for any reason.

The Doctor was everything to him. He'd built his life around this man from the first moment they'd met, turned all of his devotion to the Time Lord. The Doctor was his reason for living; his lover was everything he needed, everything that he cherished in the universe.

No one else would ever have been able to make him feel like this, Ianto reflected, watching the glint of the sun on the waves as they rolled in to the beach. Simply because no one else was the Doctor, or could ever hope to be him.

Each day I pray this love affair would last forever
Suddenly life has new meaning to me

Was there really such a thing as forever? He'd asked himself that so many times, both before he'd met the Doctor and since they'd been together. Before he'd known this man, he wouldn't have believed it; forever seemed like a foreign concept.

But now, he felt that forever was within his grasp. Of course, he was human. He would age and die, and the Doctor would be left physically alone again. But they would always be together in spirit; Ianto knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would never leave this man.

How could you leave someone who had become everything in your life? How did your spirit leave the person who was a part of you, who was the other half of your soul. It wasn't possible, he told himself, a small smile playing around the corners of his lips.

He'd always felt a bit afraid of death before he'd met the Doctor. To him, it had always seemed like the end, leaving everything behind and traveling to some place where the people you loved and had to leave behind couldn't follow.

But loving the Doctor had changed the way he looked at everything -- especially his own life. The Doctor had made his life a fairy tale -- and there was no reason for him not to believe that they would have a happy ending, the proverbial happily ever after.

The Doctor had given his life new meaning.

Every day, there was something to look forward to -- a new planet, a new adventure. Or even just knowing that he would wake up with the Doctor beside him, and that he would fall asleep that night with the man he loved in his arms.

He had so much in his life now, whereas before the advent of the Doctor in his life, there had always been an empty space that he hadn't thought anything -- or anyone -- could fill. Now, that space would always be filled with the presence of the man he was living for.

There's beauty up above and things you never take notice of
You wake and suddenly you're in love

Ianto looked up at the sky again, wondering why he'd never noticed that it was so blue before. Or maybe it only looked so blue to him now because he was seeing everything in the world in a different way now that he was in love.

He smiled as his eyes took in the beauty all around him, feeling as though he was viewing it for the first time. Had anything ever looked as sharp and clear to him before he'd met the Doctor? He didn't think so. The world had always seemed a rather dark place before.

The Doctor had changed his life, in more ways than he'd have dreamed possible.

The world had changed in so many subtle ways since he'd fallen in love. There was so much that he'd never noticed before, little things that now caught his eye and made him appreciate the world around him in ways that he'd never thought he would.

Was this what love did to everyone? Ianto asked himself, shading his eyes as he looked down the beach to see the Doctor walking slowly by the water's edge. Did love invade every person's heart and soul this way, and make them feel that they were one with the world?

Even if if didn't, that was the way it had struck him. And he wouldn't change how he felt in any way; he wouldn't trade a second of the time he'd been with the Doctor, even the pain that they'd both been through, for a lifetime with anyone else.

He'd fallen in a way that he'd never thought he would; love, for him, had always seemed like something that had to take its time, to grow, to be nurtured along. That hadn't happened to him. Love had hit him suddenly, coming at him like a bolt from the blue.

Ianto pushed his hands into his pockets as he moved away from the Tardis, heading down to the cold, sparkling water where the Doctor stood. All he wanted was to be beside the man he loved, to share the beauty of the world with him.

He didn't know exactly when he'd noticed that the sky had become so blue. And it really didn't matter at what moment he'd realized that love had changed the way he looked at the world. It didn't matter that real love had hit him so suddenly and unexpectedly.

All that mattered was being in love.

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