Title: The Decision
By: Mrs_Ianto_Jones
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG
A/N: Follows on from my story 'Fixing the Broken' but can be read as a stand-alone. It's also fairly short.
Summary: Following the Lisa incident, Ianto decides whether to stay or go.

***

A week had passed since Lisa's death. It was 10:30 at night and Ianto was sitting alone on the Plas, nursing a mug of tea, which had gone cold about an hour ago. Jack had given him the option of deciding for himself where his future lay, following a week of seeing how things went. It was now time to decide. With the exception of Jack, who'd been behaving normally, everyone had been pussy-footing around him for the whole week. They were very careful of what they said and did around him. He hadn't been much better himself. His usual dry sarcasm had been absent. Jack had tried to goad a few witticisms from him, but failed utterly. Even the captain's ever-present innuendo had fallen on fallow ground.

Ianto had spent the previous seven days feeling incredibly guilty. Not only for the chaos he'd caused, but also because he wasn't feeling the grief he should over Lisa. Of course, he was deeply saddened at her loss, he'd loved her. Now though, he was beginning to realise that the last few months had been one, long grieving process. All the time he'd spent in the basement, talking to Lisa and arranging for help, he'd actually been saying goodbye. Something in his subconscious must have known there was no hope. A young couple walked past him, hand in hand. They were oblivious to the world around him. He and Lisa used to be like that. They used to spend their lunchtimes walking in the park, too much in love to worry about food. Ianto smiled at the memory, his first truly happy smile he'd had for a while. He enjoyed the feeling.

Ianto was suddenly joined on his bench by a man who was more than a little worse for wear. He could practically see the alcohol fumes rising from him.
"Cheer up." The newcomer wheezed. "It might never happen."
"It's up to me whether it does or not." Ianto told him, almost mournfully.
"Wow. it sounds like there's a story there."
Ianto regarded the drunken man with interest. He could so easily tell him everything, then Retcon him afterwards. He decided against it.
"I made a huge mistake at work which almost destroyed the company." He said eventually. "My boss has left it up to me as to whether I should quit or not."
"He sounds like a decent guy."
"He is." Not for the first time, Ianto wondered why he was still alive.
"So, what are you gonna do?"
"I'm not sure."
The drunken man stood up unsteadily and belched loudly.
"I'll leave you to your thoughts."

He staggered off but Ianto wasn't alone for long. He jumped slightly as an RAF greatcoat was draped over his shoulders. Jack sat beside him and handed over a thermos flask.
"It's freezing out here." He said. "And I reckon that tea is also cold."
Ianto accepted the flask gratefully.
"You haven't Retconned it already have you?"
"That would be a bit premature. You haven't told me your decision yet."
He gave Ianto a hopeful look. Jack wanted him to stay but didn't want to influence him either.
"What's the feeling of the rest of the team?"
"I wouldn't know." Lied Jack.
"Come of it, Sir." Ianto scoffed. "You can't tell me that the four of you haven't mentioned it to each other."

Jack had to concede the point. He'd actually gone to each of the team in turn to garner their opinion. Toshiko had enormous sympathy for Ianto. She didn't want him to leave. Jack had asked her whether she still trusted their troubled colleague. To her own shame, Tosh hesitated slightly before saying yes. She owned up to having tiny doubts at the back of her mind but was sure they would disappear with time. Gwen had forgiven Ianto almost as soon as it had happened. After all, she'd reasoned, he hadn't personally tried to kill her. Owen's reaction had taken jack completely by surprise. The medic was still very angry and couldn't promise not to have a go at Ianto over it. However, Owen confessed to not holding a grudge.
"What about you, Sir?" Ianto asked.

"I want you to stay." Jack told him. "You're damn good at your job, which makes mine easier."
"Is that the only reason? I make things easier for you." For reasons he didn't fully comprehend, Ianto was annoyed at the captains statement. Jack was sensitive enough to pick up on the negative vibe.
"Don't take that the wrong way, Yan." he said hurriedly. "You keep the hub running and I'm not going to deny that I have a thing for you but I don't want that to sway your decision."

The two of them sat watching the people walking by them for a while. Jack couldn't read Ianto at all at this point. He had no idea which way it was going to go. Finally, Ianto said;
"I want to stay."
"I'm glad." Replied Jack with a brief smile. "However, I have a new rule."
Ianto was expecting something like this. He understood he would have to re-earn everyone's trust.
"I was gonna restrict your access to certain Torchwood systems. " Jack continued. "but, that would make the running of the place almost impossible. Instead, I want a daily report of all your movements within the hub and anything work related outside of it."
"Okay." Ianto murmured." The shame showed in his eyes but he accepted the new rule without argument.
"It's only for three months." Jack consoled him.
"Anything else, Sir?"
"Yeah. Can you quit it with the Sir? My name is Jack."
Ianto shrugged.
"I'll try."

Jack patted Ianto on the shoulder. the younger man tensed at the touch, but only for a moment. The gesture told Jack that their personal relationship was going to take some work, from both of them.
"Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
"No. I just want to go home. I'm bloody freezing."

Finis.

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