Previous part of The Undeniable.
***
Ianto let himself into his flat and collapsed against the door, the suit jacket in his hand falling to the floor, already forgotten. He couldn't remember much about the journey home, which he knew should alarm him, but he was far too preoccupied trying not to think about Alex to worry about that.
And of course trying not to think about something meant he could think of nothing else.
He'd never expected his sessions with Alex to ever include anything like what had just happened; mostly because that rule had been established upon their very first meeting, but also because Ianto himself had never wanted to connect his need to anything sexual.
It was a line he hadn't been willing to even consider crossing, and yet he'd just allowed it to happen.
Ianto drew in a deep breath, mentally pushing aside the incident as he reached for his mask of control. He marvelled at how easy it was to find this time. For the past month or so he'd fallen into a routine with Alex and it had been getting harder to leave his secret behind when he stepped outside the playroom. Now, however, it was as though the incident was just too much for him to fully take in and that somehow made it easier to pretend that it hadn't happened.
Ianto closed his eyes, chin dropping to his chest, and he rested a moment longer to let his mind settle before heading for his usual post-session shower; during which, he hoped, the matter would be completely expunged from his thoughts. He wanted to be fully in command of himself when he headed back to the Hub in a few hours time and faced Jack, knowing he'd spent the night at Gwen's side, sharing his secrets with her.
There came a sound, the muffled noise of movement over carpet, and Ianto's eyes snapped open to find Jack standing before him, coatless, shoeless, his head cocked to the side and a faint smile on his lips.
"Hard day at work, dear?"
Ianto blinked and straightened quickly, hoping the surprise didn't show on his face. It wasn't as though Jack had never let himself into Ianto's home before – despite the fact Ianto had never officially given him a key – and he really had no cause to be alarmed by the other man's presence. He managed a sympathetic smile in response, knowing that Jack's humour was only a cover for the pain he was feeling.
"My boss is a slave-driver," he said, glad to find the wit there when he called for it. "It's a wonder I'm still standing."
"The cad," Jack replied, his grin widening until it almost reached his eyes.
Ianto noticed the change, realising belatedly that the smile hadn't been anywhere near Jack's eyes before. He stepped forward, dropping his keys onto the nearest surface and pulled the other man into an embrace, sadness descending upon him as Jack buried his face in his neck.
"Are you all right?" he asked softly.
"I sat with her for hours," Jack replied in a low voice, "then I couldn't sit there any longer. Owen's watching over her now."
"You would have regretted it if you hadn't gone."
Jack sighed. "I know."
"We'll find a cure. No matter how long it takes we'll find it and then you can have her back, just the way she is now." As he spoke, Ianto felt the sadness twisting into unexpected bitterness. Even if it were to take them years to heal Gwen, she'd be revived exactly as she was the day they froze her; young, healthy and grateful for the second chance at life. But where would Ianto be then? Old? Out of the picture? Dead?
He rested his head against Jack's, hands rubbing circles on his back, and pushed aside the unwanted and traitorous thoughts. Jack turned away from his neck, capturing his lips softly.
Ianto returned the kiss for a few minutes before pulling back. "Jack..." he began, only to trail off when he realised he didn't know what he wanted to say.
"I feel like I haven't seen you all week," the Captain murmured, pressing his lips to the skin just below Ianto's ear.
The young man tensed. Alex had kissed the other side of his neck, but Ianto was convinced Jack would be able to tell, to taste the guilt upon him and realise what had happened. "It's been a tough few days," Ianto replied, taking hold of Jack's head and luring him away with another kiss.
Jack turned willingly in his hold, grasping the younger man tightly and trying to devour him with obvious need. Ianto moaned at the sudden desperate passion, aching for his lover, wishing dearly to take away his pain.
A hand stroked along Ianto's neck, down over his Adam's apple onto his chest and quickly loosened his tie. So quick, in fact, that by the time Ianto's brain caught up with what was about to happen, Jack had already tugged his shirt halfway open.
The Captain leaned back, hungry eyes following the movement of his fingers, but then he froze, the smile fading from his lips. "What's this?" he asked, brow creasing in confusion. His fingers moved upwards again, over the sharp red lines visible beneath Ianto's parted collar.
Before Ianto could reply, Jack yanked his shirt the rest of the way open, one button popping off and dropping forlornly to the floor. Ianto's eyes automatically followed to see where it landed, making no move to try and hide his chest from Jack. He knew without a doubt it would be pointless to even attempt it, for the Captain rarely accepted not getting an answer, and he was certainly not going to ignore such deep scratches.
"It's...uh..." Ianto stopped and grimaced; if he could hear the guilt in his own voice, surely Jack could too. He swallowed and started again. "All this talk of rashes has given me phantom itches as well." He took hold of Jack's hands, moving them away from his chest. "It's stupid, but I can't stop myself."
"They're bleeding."
"They were bleeding. I got a bit carried away, that's all. They'll heal soon enough."
Jack stared at the scratches until Ianto pulled his shirt over them. The Welshman smiled gently when Jack looked up. "It's nothing," he said. "Forget about them." He leaned in, once more distracting his lover with a kiss, giving it his full attention until they were both gasping for breath.
"Ianto," Jack said, gaze flickering across his features, trying to take them all in at once. Ianto recognised the emotion in his eyes, the illogical fear that being so close to losing Gwen meant he would lose the others around him as well.
His chest tightening, Ianto grabbed Jack's hands again, pulling on them to make the older man follow as he walked backwards towards the bedroom, eyes locked with Jack's the entire way.
Through the doorway, he kept hold of Jack until the backs of his knees hit the bed (not wanting to give the Captain the chance to turn on a light) and as he fell back onto the duvet, he wrapped his arms around Jack, bringing them both horizontal, already locked in another heated kiss.
Tongues sliding against each another, Jack took control, pinning Ianto's body with his own as the young man let him thoroughly explore his mouth. Jack's breath huffed loudly through his nose, his hands roaming, too quick to actually linger and tease. The need within him was so great that he clearly didn't know what he wanted, only that he wanted it right away.
When questing fingers slid beneath Ianto to cup his ass, a sudden terror swept through his body. His backside was burning still, was probably bright red as well, and he was sure Jack would be able to feel the heat, even through the material of his trousers. Ianto rolled them over with a surge of energy, turning the focus away from himself.
He made swift work of opening Jack's shirt, then pushed up the white t-shirt beneath to expose his chest. Jack groaned as Ianto swept his lips over his skin, pausing to bite gently at his nipples, hands rubbing along his sides and down to his belt. The leather vanished and his trousers followed soon after, and then Ianto had his fingers in the bulging underwear, pulling out Jack's cock and sliding his mouth over it without any warning.
Jack bucked up into the wet heat, gasping, and Ianto smiled inwardly, always happy when he managed to elicit such a reaction from his immortal lover. He set a steady but strong pace, determined to keep Jack from even thinking about doing anything but lie back and enjoy himself.
"Ianto!" Jack growled, his hands clenching in the other man's hair as Ianto swallowed around his cock.
Ianto chuckled, sending vibrations through the solid flesh and moved his lips upwards, flicking the tip of his tongue over the leaking head before plunging down again. Jack's hips moved beneath his hands, trying to thrust forward, but Ianto held him still as he bobbed up and down, hollowing his cheeks and sucking even harder.
Jack's body tensed abruptly and warmth flooded Ianto's mouth, a cry of pleasure filling the darkened room. Ianto swallowed, lapping the softening cock clean before moving up for a lazy kiss.
Jack smiled at his own taste, but when he pulled back to speak, Ianto silenced him with another quick peck to his lips. "Ssh," the young man whispered. "Sleep." He gathered Jack in his arms and prayed he would be tired enough from the stress of the week to give in and allow himself to rest. Ianto needed to shower, to wash away Alex's scent before he allowed Jack to fully lose himself in his body, and he could only do that if Jack was asleep and thus unable to question his actions.
The Captain frowned at him, his expression barely visible in the light from the hallway, but after a few minutes of gentle words and even gentler kissing, he finally slipped into a doze just deep enough to allow Ianto to extract himself from their tangled limbs and make his escape into the bathroom.
***
The atmosphere in the medical bay was deeply uneasy; the people gathered there projecting feelings of helplessness and worry that swirled almost tangibly about the room.
Rhys had finally been allowed into the Hub to see Gwen before she was put into cryo, but only on the provision that he wear a Hazmat suit to avoid catching the virus as well. He looked lost within the over-sized garment, his face barely visible behind the reflective helmet, yet the slump of his shoulders as he sat at Gwen's side spoke clearly enough of his dismay.
The rest of the team moved purposefully around the bed, getting everything ready for the freezing process. They had only done this a few times in the past, including the failed attempt with Beth Halloran, but they knew precisely what was required and worked together in determined silence.
Jack stood above them all on the upper level, elbows cupped in his hands and brow creased in thought. He was staring, not at Gwen – he'd already said his goodbyes to her – but rather at Ianto.
He'd woken that morning from an (apparently) much-needed sleep and lain in Ianto's arms until the alarm went off, taking the opportunity to simply stop and rest for a while. During those long quiet minutes, however, he'd had time to examine certain facts; details that were gradually coming together in his mind to form a picture of what was wrong with Ianto.
At the forefront of his thoughts had been the rather belated realisation that the scratches upon Ianto's chest were at the entirely wrong angle to have been self-inflicted. They were certainly not the kind produced by paranoid itching and Ianto had to know he couldn't get away with that lie for long, so why even attempt to deceive him with such a weak story?
Jack clenched his jaw unhappily. If Ianto was seeing someone else, why hide it? The young Welshman knew that Jack's beliefs were vastly different to the rigid principles of this era, and whilst Ianto may have been brought up surrounded by them himself, Jack knew he didn't hold tightly with such standards either.
Ianto did not subscribe to all of society's rules, whether it be the insistent labelling or the presumption of exclusivity. He had no respect for those who cheated on their loved ones, but only if the couple had agreed on a monogamous relationship. When it was a purely physical arrangement, a simple enjoyment of what was freely given and taken, then there was no reason to assume a promise of complete loyalty.
So Jack knew that Ianto would not feel he had to keep another lover secret – in fact he'd likely think Jack would want to hear every sordid detail – and he could tell by the intensity in Ianto's eyes when they were together that the young man still wanted Jack and was not looking to bring their fun to an end in favour of another.
And yet there was clearly someone else on the scene. Those scratches confirmed it, even if they didn't provide any clue as to who had made them.
Jack shook his head slightly to himself. Surely this couldn't be the reason behind Ianto's recent erratic behaviour, could it? Could something so innocent have weighed on his mind so heavily?
As though sensing the eyes upon him, Ianto glanced up suddenly. He gave a faint but reassuring smile and Jack knew it was from the heart. He couldn't, however, return the gesture; he was far too perplexed by this mystery to even think of it.
Ianto had spent the past few months acting as though he was over his ordeal with the psychic alien, only to suddenly admit under pressure that he wasn't really coping as well as he'd claimed. Now there appeared to be someone else involved, intimately perhaps, and that new development created more questions than it answered concerning the enigma that was Ianto Jones.
Once Gwen's body had been taken down to cold storage, it was as though all the energy evaporated from the remaining members of the team. They stood together for a good five minutes in the medical bay, exchanging glances and watching the screen Owen had set up to display Gwen's almost non-existent vitals. It wasn't that they suspected she would break the stasis like Beth had, it was rather more the fact they couldn't quite believe they'd had to freeze her in the first place.
Ianto studied Jack's profile as he stared at the numbers scrolling across the monitor. The Captain had been quiet all morning, which was perhaps to be expected considering the circumstances, but it was still unlike the immortal not to at least try and hide his anxiety behind a quip or a declaration that everything would work out sooner rather than later.
Ianto placed a hand on Jack's shoulder in silent support and offered a faint smile before looking over to where Rhys was sitting on the steps, still fully ensconced in his protective suit. "I'll take Rhys home," he said quietly. "And I'll make sure he's got food in the house as well. Gwen wouldn't want him ill because of her."
Jack nodded, but said nothing and Ianto made his way over to the other Welshman, easing him to his feet with gentle words. Rhys had been angry when he'd first arrived, but that had all vanished now that Gwen was packed away, leaving him mute and pliable as Ianto coaxed him through the Hub.
They headed towards to a corridor that would lead, via a clean room to remove the Hazmat suit, down to the car park. All the way across the large central space, Ianto could feel Jack's eyes upon his back and he found himself praying that the usually irrepressible man would not remain this muted version of himself all the time Gwen was in cryo.
When Ianto returned from dropping off the despondent Rhys and checking that the apartment held enough food to get the grieving man through the next few days, he was surprised to find the Hub a hive of activity instead of the quiet maudlin atmosphere he'd left earlier.
He ascended the steps to his colleagues warily, unsure of what to make of the unexpected change.
"Good, you're back," Jack said, turning away from the screen he'd been reading over Tosh's shoulder. "I want you to go get one of those aliens we found the other day and bring it up here for Owen to poke at. Tosh and I are going to have another look at the pod, so you'll have to be Owen's assistant for the day." He gave the younger man a bright smile, which was surprisingly close to his usual dazzling grin.
"Yeah," Owen cheerfully added from his workstation, "so you'd better snap on your prophylactics on and start wranglin' those sluggies!"
Ianto blinked. Although he'd become somewhat experienced at concealing his own thoughts and emotions, he couldn't help but feel surprised when others did it as well. Not an hour after they'd frozen Gwen, everyone was working at full speed, as though nothing had happened at all. He wanted to tell them to stop trying so hard, but then realised how much of a hypocrite that would make him.
Taking their lead, he slipped easily into the disguise he'd been hiding behind for the past few months. "That sounds great," he agreed amiably, moving off towards the lower levels. "I'll go pick one out now."
The smirk on Owen's face soured slightly when Ianto failed to protest and the young man couldn't help but push it a little further. "Didn't it occur to you," he murmured as he passed the doctor's workstation, "that I might enjoy handling thick slippery lengths of flesh?"
Owen spluttered a little in response and Ianto smiled victoriously to himself as he set off to see to his new chore, incredibly comfortable within the mantle of false normality that had fallen across the Hub.
Jack lingered in the doorway and stared at Ianto's back, studying the way he stood with his hands balled into fists upon his hips.
He'd followed the other man down to where the slug-like creatures were being kept only minutes after giving out his orders, too impatient to wait to broach a certain subject with Ianto. The determination that had filled him after they'd finished with Gwen, the resolve to keep the situation from completely disrupting Torchwood's work, had also given him the urge to deal with Ianto as well. Even though he knew he probably shouldn't rush such a delicate operation, he had been unable to keep from pursuing his lover in order to make his request as soon as possible.
Upon finding Ianto in a stance that seemed less than welcoming, however, he'd paused to better gauge the situation, and inevitably he'd begun to question the plan he had devised as a means to discover what was going on with the reticent Welshman.
Ianto tutted to himself and moved aside, giving Jack a view of the small compartments used for captives that weren't suited for the larger cells. The slugs took up the entire middle row of the units and it seemed that they had made themselves fully at home; coating every surface with the thick viscous secretions that covered their bodies. Jack smiled, immediately recognising this to be the cause of Ianto's disapproving posture, and not some dark mood that had settled over him.
"I want you to come out with me tonight," the Captain declared suddenly, the words escaping his lips before he'd even made a firm judgement on his plan.
Ianto's head tilted slightly, the casual movement showing no sign of alarm at the older man's stealthy arrival. "Oh, really?" he asked. He wasn't quite looking all the way over his shoulder, but Jack could imagine one of his eyebrows arching playfully.
The immortal hesitated; it was very rare nowadays that he spoke without thinking, and even rarer that he feel doubt about a plan he'd decided needed to be carried out. He knew what had to be done, but doing it was another matter altogether.
As the silence dragged on, Ianto turned, his expression one of concern when Jack failed to respond in the expected seductive manner. "What's the matter?" the young man asked.
Jack licked his lips, mind tripping over itself as he weighed the pros and cons of his idea once again.
He'd already hinted earlier that week about them going out for a suspiciously date-like evening, hoping that a casual few hours together might encourage Ianto to open up a little more. Perhaps asking him to talk about it would work now, if the atmosphere was relaxed enough; perhaps showing Ianto that he wanted to listen and understand would convince the Welshman to finally explain what was going on.
Jack smiled inwardly at the impossible idea. No, he knew Ianto well enough to know that – no matter how much he hated to deceive the young man – the only way he was going to succeed was by less than honourable means.
He shook his head ruefully. "I need your help," he admitted.
"With what?"
"All the time I was out of the Hub last week, I was looking for something to help Gwen," Jack explained. "I think you might be able to help me find it."
Ianto frowned, his eyes searching the immortal's for more information and Jack had to force himself not to shift under that penetrating gaze. He refused to feel guilty for his decision; he'd given Ianto time to sort things out for himself and when nothing changed he'd asked that Ianto be honest with him and explain what the problem was.
The fact that Ianto had failed to take advantage of those opportunities meant that Jack really only had one last method of discovering his secret.
He was going to have to cheat.
***
Ianto remembered the Queen's Skirts from his teenage years; or rather he remembered a vague blur of sticky carpets, false IDs and praying that he pulled so his mates wouldn't make fun of him the next day.
Fortunately, ownership of the pub had changed hands a few times since then and the room he walked into was vastly improved from the grungy place it had once been. There were booths running along the walls, with high partitions dividing the tables to give the illusion of privacy, and the furniture filling the rest of the room was modern, if not very high quality. It had clearly become far more food-orientated than in the past, but Jack had insisted that anywhere which sold alcohol was a viable location for their quarry. Even if the person they were searching for looked too young to be in such an establishment.
Ianto made a quick circuit of the room, but there were very few people out so late on a Monday night and he was soon back at the bar signalling the man behind it, deciding now was as good a time as any to have a break from his fruitless search.
Jack had assured him the girl they were looking for would be able to help Gwen somehow, but he'd been having trouble tracking her down. In Ianto's opinion that meant she didn't want to be found, but Jack clearly didn't wish to admit defeat yet. Which was fair enough, Ianto supposed, when his only remaining hopes of finding Gwen's cure were this mysteriously elusive girl and the even more elusive Doctor.
Ianto paid the bartender and had just taken his first sip of cool lager when his mobile began to ring. The young man rolled his eyes and began to fish it out of his pocket, cursing Jack mentally for his impatience – he'd already checked on Ianto's progress four times in the two hours they'd been searching – but as his fingers closed around the small phone Ianto realised it couldn't be Jack; he would have contacted him over the comm.
Ianto glanced at the screen of the trilling mobile, recognising the number displayed there instantly. He frowned and took his drink over to one of the empty booths, sliding in along the padded leather bench before pressing the button to accept the call.
"Hello?" he said neutrally, in case he had somehow mistaken the number.
"Ianto," Alex's voice purred down the line.
Ianto shivered slightly, mind flashing back to the previous night, of Alex murmuring in his ear as he pushed into the tunnel formed by Ianto's bound hands.
When he failed to respond, Alex spoke again. "Ianto, are you there?"
"Yes," he replied, noting the slight edge to the other's tone.
"Good, good." There was a pause, then, "What are you doing?"
Ianto's frown deepened. Was he calling for a chat? "I'm working."
"Working?" Alex laughed. "It's half-eleven, don't lie to me."
"I'm not. I'm working late."
"Doing what?"
Ianto blinked. One of Alex's rules was not to share personal details, yet here he was asking for them. "It doesn't matter."
"But you've intrigued me now. What do you do?"
"Did you call for any particular reason, Alex?" Ianto countered.
Another laugh rumbled along the line. "Okay, fine, have your little secret. I just called to see if you were coming over."
"What?" Ianto scowled at his bottle of lager as though the one mouthful he'd taken was to blame for this surreal conversation.
"I think you should come over," Alex amended, his voice dropping into a low and commanding tone.
"I...I can't."
"You should."
"But I don't need-"
Alex cut him off. "How's your day been?"
"What?" Ianto asked again, caught off guard.
"Your day, it's been good, hasn't it? No feelings of anxiety, no sense of being out of control, am I right?"
"I..." Ianto struggled with his answer. Alex was right; despite what they'd had to do that morning, he had felt almost entirely himself for the first time in months. That didn't explain how the other man knew that though. "Well, yes, but..."
"I'm good at reading people, Ianto," the other man told him. "I'm especially good at being able to tell what they need. And you need to relinquish control fully before you can regain it again."
Ianto stared blindly at the dark tabletop, unsure how to deal with this conversation when his mind was tuned into the other half of his dual life.
"You should come over," Alex went on, voice seductively low. "We'll pick up where we left off last night."
There was movement in the corner of Ianto's eye and he looked up to find that someone else was now sitting on the other side of the table. He gaped in bewilderment at the girl who'd appeared so suddenly; wondering how she had managed to sneak up on him. "I have to go," he said into the mobile, hanging up before the other Welshman could protest.
"Hi," Ianto said, swiftly taking in the new arrival. She looked young, as Jack had told him, but her demeanour hinted at something disturbingly old. Her gaze flicked up as he studied her, then returned to the deck of worn cards in her hands, her expression blank.
Ianto felt a shudder pass along his spine at that brief glimpse of her eyes. They were as dark as a cloudless night, but without any stars to lighten them. Looking into that darkness was like falling into a vacuum which sucked not the air but rather the noise from the room.
Yes, Ianto decided, this was definitely the girl Jack was looking for.
He lowered his phone to the table whilst slowly lifting his free hand to his other ear to activate his comm.
"Don't bother," the girl said, her impossible eyes fixed on the tarot cards she was shuffling.
Ianto's hand froze and then inexplicably dropped. "I-"
His mobile began to ring again, vibrating noisily across the table, and he stared at it dumbly for a moment before quickly rejecting the call.
"We've been looking for you," he said, returning his attention to the girl. "Jack's been looking for you."
"I know."
Ianto nodded to himself; so she had been avoiding Jack on purpose after all. "He needs to ask you something, will you see him?"
The girl began to lay out a line of three cards. "I will see him," she replied in an even tone. "And I will speak to him."
"Great." Ianto lifted his hand to his ear.
"Don't bother," she said again, nudging one corner of a card to bring it in line with the others. "The Fool," she read. "You're looking for something."
Ianto leaned forward slightly. "Jack thinks you can help us. Our friend is ill and-"
The girl looked up, silencing him with those dark eyes. "This reading isn't for her," she told him brusquely.
Ianto scowled at the cards she was still fingering; tarot reading was not something he believed in, but when he opened his mouth to tell her that he was stopped by his mobile ringing once more. Huffing with frustration, Ianto switched it off completely; he couldn't deal with Alex on top of everything else right then.
"The Hanged Man and the Tower," the girl was saying thoughtfully. "You're looking in the wrong place, for the wrong thing."
Ianto froze and then immediately rebuked himself for even considering that she could know anything about him. The words were vague enough to be interpreted any number of ways; like any other form of cold-reading, it was a trick to let people make their own connections.
"That's great," he said, "but Jack needs to know-"
"You shouldn't ask on his behalf when he can do it himself," the girl said and once Ianto had gotten over the fact he'd been interrupted again, he actually registered what she'd said.
"Okay." He shrugged and reached for his comm. for the third time in as many minutes. "I'll get him to come here then."
"I keep telling you, you don't need to bother with that. He can already hear us. Isn't that right, Captain?"
Ianto frowned at her and then tensed in sudden realisation as he heard movement behind him. He looked up as the man who was supposed to be halfway across the city conducting his own search for this girl came into sight. Jack didn't meet his eyes, staring instead at the girl, his expression cold and unimpressed. "So you'll finally talk to me?"
She ignored him and set down another trio of cards above the first set.
"What are you doing here?" Ianto asked Jack, not at all sure what to make of his presence.
The older man gave a blithe smile, still not looking at him. "She might have been avoiding me, but I was sure she'd come out for you."
"Me? Why?"
"She seems to be drawn to people who need direction."
Ianto's mouth worked, trying to decide between the dozen questions he wanted to ask, until he finally settled on a rather inelegant, "What?"
Jack simply shook his head, refusing to answer.
"Your heart will be pierced by Time," the girl announced. She stroked her fingers over one of the other cards. The Wheel of Fortune, Ianto read upside down. "Then you'll be able to see clearly again."
"Pierced by time?" Ianto repeated dubiously. "Right, let me guess, that's supposed to mean time will pass and we'll learn something?" He rolled his eyes, his patience always stretched by so-called psychic intuition. "Very prophetic, thank you."
The girl clearly didn't appreciate his sarcasm and she glared at him with her bottomless eyes. "Do not be facetious. Time will stop passing but the Wheel will still turn, giving you the answer you seek."
Ianto looked up at Jack, his eyebrows raised. "You really think she can help Gwen?"
Jack shrugged. "Maybe she can't personally help, but she can tell us what we need to do." He moved closer to the table. "How do we save her?" he asked.
"That is the wrong question, Captain," the girl replied. She selected a further three cards. "Ah, the Magician emerges." She eyed Ianto wryly. "That means skill and resource, if you were wondering, not Houdini."
Ianto blinked, caught off guard by her dry and unexpected humour. "Well, he is dead," he admitted, unable to keep himself from responding to that mocking tone. "It would have been impressive if he had 'emerged', though."
"What is the right question?" Jack asked, his patience waning at their bickering.
She giggled, sounding for the first time like the child she appeared to be. "It would be rather remiss of me to give you both the question and the answer, wouldn't it?"
"Okay, fine, can we save her?" the Captain tried.
"No."
The blood drained from Jack's face but Ianto quickly spoke up, seeing where he'd fallen into her verbal trap. "Can someone else?"
The girl's lips twitched into a smile. "Yes."
Jack's expression cleared immediately and he leaned on the table, looming over her. "Who?"
"Do you see names written upon my cards?" the girl asked, shaking her head in disappointment. "The Magician emerges and the Sun prevails."
"What does the Sun represent then?" Ianto asked, surprising himself by encouraging her little show.
"In this instance? Success."
Ianto glanced up at Jack. Did he really think this girl held the answer to Gwen's cure? Beyond dropping hints that she believed Gwen would recover, she really wasn't telling them anything helpful.
The Captain met his gaze at last, and although Ianto was expecting to see that Jack shared his misgivings, he was surprised to find optimism in the other's eyes. He didn't understand how such vague and helpless comments from this strange little girl could give Jack hope.
"You may go now," the girl said in sudden dismissal and Ianto turned back at her commanding tone.
"You didn't exactly answer our questions," he pointed out, not feeling nearly as convinced as Jack seemed.
"I only answer what can be answered," she responded, a twinkle in her eyes.
Ianto couldn't argue with that logic, but he wasn't about to let her have the last word either. He eyed the cards spread out between them. "Then answer me this: shouldn't you have started a new reading to tell us about Gwen, if the first was about me?"
The girl stared at him, gaze intense and unblinking, as she uncovered the next card in the deck. "Intertwined fates can be read together." She glanced from Ianto to Jack and then to the card in her hand. She smiled and placed it flat on the table, turning it so Ianto could see clearly.
"The Emperor?" he asked, one eyebrow lifting dubiously. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It is a gift for you, Ianto," she said, her smile almost shy. "Take it."
"What does it mean?" he repeated, wondering idly how she knew his name.
The girl said nothing, merely focused on gathering up the rest of her cards, the demure smile still lingering on her rosebud lips.
***
Jack released Ianto's elbow as they stepped outside, the young man no longer insistent on trying to talk to the girl again. He looked around for a moment, breathing in the chill night air, and then turned back to his companion.
Before he could say anything, Ianto began to speak. "So the creepy little girl hints that Gwen's going to be okay and you just believe her, no questions asked?"
Jack pursed his lips. "That's funny, I recall asking a few questions."
"Right." Ianto glanced skyward and pulled his jacket tighter around himself. "Seriously, though, that's it? You've spent days chasing after not a cure, not a lead, but a prepubescent tarot reader who won't even make the effort to embellish her lies?"
"She's not lying."
"And you know this because...?"
Jack gave a half smile. "Because she proved herself when she helped me find the second resurrection gauntlet." He tilted his head thoughtfully, then added, "Also, shortly after I was stranded here, she correctly predicted when the Doctor would turn up again."
Ianto frowned at him. "'Shortly after'...?"
"Oh yes," the Captain declared in amusement, "she looks great for her age, doesn't she?"
"She's..." Ianto trailed off and wearily rubbed a hand over his face, almost poking himself in the eye as he did so with the card he still held. Jack watched as he stared at it, quick eyes taking in every minute detail, before sliding it silently into his coat pocket. "I don't know why I bother to be surprised by this city anymore," he eventually said with a sigh.
"What do you think she meant?" Jack asked, unable to hold back the question any longer. "Those things she said about you; did they make any sense?"
Ianto licked his lips and stared at a nearby street lamp. "No," he said pensively, still looking upwards. A moment later Jack witnessed the precise instant Ianto's scepticism kicked in again and he turned back to the older man with disdain in his eyes. "You can't seriously believe she could read my future by looking at a few cards?"
"It isn't necessarily your future," Jack told him.
"Well, whatever," Ianto said, shrugging, "it didn't mean anything." He started to walk away, shoving his hands into his pockets, only to spin abruptly on his heel and hurry back to the pub's entrance. "Forgot my mobile!" he called over his shoulder.
Jack waited for him by the door. He wasn't surprised by the Welshman's unwillingness to believe in such things. Aliens, spaceships, parasitic lifeforms...all these were well within his limits of acceptance. He had even experienced the existence of psychic abilities for himself, but remove the scientific explanation and put a few dog-eared tarot cards on a table and Ianto was utterly misogynic.
Jack shook his head wryly and thought back over their brief meeting with the little girl.
He hadn't been entirely positive that she would appear for Ianto, but he'd been willing to try and clearly his instincts had been correct. It had been a hunch, a gamble, but those were the foundations upon which Jack had once lived his life – still did in some instances – and they'd certainly proven themselves this time. After four days of searching for the evasive child, she had found Ianto barely two hours into his search.
Jack's desire to find the girl had always been in order to learn of Gwen's fate; he knew he wouldn't get a cure from her, but a clue about the future was all he needed to find the strength to keep going. He had indeed gained a glimmer of hope for Gwen's condition that night, but the additional plan of using Ianto to lure the little girl out had not proven so successful.
The reading she'd given was extraordinarily vague, and Jack wasn't sure he had enough pieces of the puzzle to even attempt to decipher it. He'd expected more precise details from the girl, as he had received himself in the past, but clearly Ianto wasn't so lucky to get that much guidance.
Or maybe, Jack thought darkly, his presence there had caused her to speak in riddles. Perhaps she wasn't one who freely shared the secrets of others. He sighed; wouldn't it just be typical if the best diviner he'd found in the city was also the most moral?
As the young man reappeared through the doorway, phone in hand, Jack was reminded of what else he'd discovered that night.
"You should check your messages," he said in an even tone. "Sounded like someone was eager to get hold of you earlier."
Ianto's response was almost one of panic, for just a brief a second, and then the expression was gone, replaced by the cool mask of impassiveness Jack had come to know so well over the past few years.
"It can wait," he said, slipping the mobile into his pocket without turning it back on.
"Really? Because people don't often ring so late at night just to say hello."
A muscle in Ianto's jaw twitched and Jack knew the baiting was starting to affect him. Unfortunately the immortal didn't have the patience right then to play tricky word games. "Who's Alex?" he asked bluntly instead.
Ianto's features remained impressively composed as Jack revealed just how long he'd been following the Welshman. "A friend," Ianto replied with a shrug. He turned away and began down the street in the direction of his flat, clearly opting to walk home rather than go all the way back to the Hub to pick up his car.
"Is that the same friend who put those scratches on your chest?" Jack asked casually.
Ianto's shoulders tensed and he stopped only three paces away. "I told you," he said after a long silence. "I was itching."
"You're lying. And it's obvious too. Which is worrying, because you normally do such a good job of it."
Ianto turned back slowly to look at Jack. He seemed both surprised and angry, as though he didn't quite know how to take the older man's accusations.
Jack, on the other hand, was becoming more and more baffled by the other's behaviour. He wasn't exaggerating when he praised Ianto's skills at deception, he certainly couldn't deny Ianto's gift for it after successfully hiding Lisa's existence in the Hub for so many months. For the young man to be having such trouble with this new secret now was truly alarming.
Not that Jack especially wanted Ianto to succeed in keeping things from him, but by his very nature the Welshman was self-contained and to have that control slip so far meant something very bad indeed was going on.
As Jack compared the current situation to the incident with Lisa, and found it even more disturbing, his determination to solve this mystery was made firmer than ever.
"Is there something wrong?" he asked, because he chose not to believe that Ianto could be doing something as dangerous as the last time; something that could cause harm to others. Of course if it wasn't that kind of secret, it meant it could be another kind of problem altogether. "Is someone bothering you?" he added solemnly.
Ianto continued to stare at him and for all Jack's experience of reading people, he was having trouble working out what was going through the other man's head at that moment in time.
"It's nothing," Ianto said. He then straightened his shoulders, strength returning to his voice as he continued, "It's none of your business."
"What?" Jack was actually stunned. "Of course it is. You're my business. If something's wrong, I need to know." Ianto shook his head but Jack ploughed right on. "I thought we'd agreed on no more secrets."
The young man gave a sharp laugh at that. "Not quite, Jack. We agreed that I would have no more secrets. You were very specific about that detail."
"Yeah, because some of the things I've seen should never be experienced. Even if it is only second-hand." Jack got a withering look in response and he felt his grip on his frustration starting to slide. "But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. And you did agree to no more secrets."
"Maybe I realised it was a foolish promise to make," Ianto said, looking away.
"So you're not going to tell me?"
Ianto rolled his eyes. "There's nothing to tell."
"Other than the fact you're seeing someone who thinks it's okay to make you bleed?"
"Oh because you've never hurt anyone by accident?" came the snarky retort.
Jack immediately knew that he'd won, and by the dawning look of realisation on Ianto's face it was clear he'd also noticed the mistake in not correcting Jack's presumption.
"So you are seeing someone else," the Captain said quietly. He tried to work out how he felt about that, but only got as far as recognising the surprise that Ianto would be so promiscuous. The other emotions the revelation stirred up were a little too dangerous for Jack to consider at that time.
"I'm not seeing him," Ianto protested.
"Okay, fine, you're sleeping with someone else," Jack amended, disturbed to hear the bitterness in his own voice.
"I'm not sleeping with him either," Ianto said, his brow creasing as he continued to look away.
"So how do you explain those scratches?" Jack pressed. "Because the way I see it..." He moved suddenly, slipping behind the younger man and bringing his hands around to rest on Ianto's chest. "...he must have been right about here to make them."
Within the circle of Jack's arms, Ianto tensed, his breath catching loudly.
"So tell me, what was he doing back here if not fucking you?" Jack breathed into Ianto's ear and the younger man shuddered.
"Nothing," Ianto managed to choke out. His chest was beginning to heave beneath Jack's hands.
"I don't know why you're still lying," Jack went on. "It's not like I wouldn't understand if you were seeing someone else." He ignored the way those words tasted so sour in his mouth. "We haven't exactly made promises of fidelity to each other."
If it was possible, Jack suspected Ianto would have tensed even more. His breath slowed again but his voice was slightly strained as he asked, "So you've been seeing someone else?"
"What?" Jack hesitated; when had this become about him? "No, actually, I haven't." Only after he'd said the words aloud did they register in his mind and disbelief swept over him as he realised the depth of that truth. He hadn't slept with anyone else since the first night Ianto had propositioned him. He blinked, alarmed, then stepped back, breaking the contact with his young lover. "But that's not the point," he forced himself to say, "the point is it's not a problem if you and this Alex-"
"God, are you even listening to me?" Ianto exploded suddenly, spinning to face the immortal. "I told you I'm not seeing him, I'm not sleeping with him, he's no one, dammit, no one!"
Jack felt his lips twitch upwards; always inappropriately amused by Ianto's rare emotional outbursts. "So not a friend then?"
The Welshman's expression instantly closed up, belatedly realising that he'd given yet something else away.
Jack was now more convinced than ever that something big was amiss, as Ianto continued to prove with his lack of composure just how troubled he was.
The young man opened his mouth to say something, but evidentially decided against it and instead turned away to resume his walk home.
"Ianto!" Jack called after him.
"It's got nothing to do with you, Jack," Ianto said. "Just leave it."
"Bullshit," Jack muttered to himself, watching as Ianto vanished into the night without looking back once.
He stood outside the pub for a while longer, staring down the empty street, before finally heading in the opposite direction. As he walked, he mulled over what his next course of action would be. He knew continuing to pursue the matter would anger the reticent young man further, but he knew deep down he had no real choice; not if he wanted to make sure Ianto was truly safe.
***
Early the next morning, the previous few days of cold but clear weather came to an abrupt end. Dark ominous clouds rolled in and rain began to fall with such ferocity that deep puddles formed swiftly upon the ground and anyone who dared step outside were soaked within seconds.
Ianto woke to the sound of his window rattling in its frame and lay there for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the rain battering loudly against the glass.
He had returned home past midnight and gone straight to bed, where he'd proceeded to toss and turn his way through the next few hours, his mind refusing to settle. When he'd finally drifted off, his sleep had been disturbed by dreams of Alex moving behind him, stiff cock sliding through his bound hands, rough fingers clenched mercilessly hard about his own aching shaft.
At least he assumed it was Alex. He never actually saw the man's face, nor heard him speak, but the only other possibility was not one Ianto dared seriously consider.
The Welshman rolled his head to the side, glancing at the clock beside his bed. It read 04:42 and Ianto sighed, knowing he wouldn't be able to fall sleep again before the alarm went off at six, even though he desperately needed the rest. Deciding to give in gracefully, he climbed out of bed and wandered wearily to the kitchen, seeking his first, and definitely needed, caffeine hit of the day.
Leaning heavily against the worktop as he waited for the machine to finish brewing, Ianto idly scanned the small room with heavy eyes. His gaze fell upon the pile of items he'd dumped out of his pockets the night before, including the tarot card the little girl had given him. He reached over and snagged one worn corner, sliding it out from under his keys towards him.
The Emperor. He frowned at the picture of a regal figure seated upon a throne, tired mind automatically running through all the possible interpretations of the card. Of course it was all moot, no matter what it was supposed to mean, seeing as how he didn't believe in tarot reading. Just like he didn't believe in palmistry, tea leaves, Ouija boards or astrology. He didn't know how Jack could put so much faith in the little girl's words about Gwen; although if she had rightly informed him of certain things in the past, he could understand the immortal's willingness to believe her. Of course that didn't mean she'd found out that information from the cards, just that she happened to know the answer to his questions.
Ianto dropped the card onto the counter and reached for his mobile instead, switching it on immediately when he saw it was turned off. A few seconds later it beeped angrily at him, reporting that he had five missed calls and two messages, all from Alex's number. He sighed and reluctantly dialled up his voice mail, listening as a bored mechanical voice told him that the first message had been left at ten to twelve the night before. Then Alex's voice took over.
"Ianto, call me back right now!"
The young man's eyes rounded at the stern tone and he barely registered the generated voice announcing the time of the next recording – twenty minutes after the first – before Alex spoke again. This time his voice was so different that Ianto's eyes widened even further.
"Ianto? Hi, it's Alex. Is everything okay? You hung up pretty abruptly and now your phone's off...are you all right?" There was a pause then, "Okay, uh, call me back when you can, yeah? Bye."
"Huh," Ianto exclaimed, deleting both messages to appease his innate discretion. He stared at the screen, trying to make sense of the two extraordinarily dissimilar recordings. It had been rather rude of him to hang up on the other man without warning, so perhaps it was understandable that Alex had been first annoyed and then concerned.
Ianto shook his head and abandoned his phone in favour of his espresso. How, in his search to regain his control, could he continually come across situations that robbed him more than ever of that precise abstraction?
"Tarot?"
Ianto jumped and glanced up sharply to find Tosh peering over his shoulder at his monitor. He bit back a curse as embarrassment warmed his cheeks.
"Why are you looking at things on tarot?" Tosh went on, her nose crinkling in disapproval.
"Research," Ianto replied automatically, wishing he'd given it more thought before opening up the database where everyone else could see what he was doing.
He hadn't intended to start looking at such information, but the strange little girl's words had been troubling him all day. As he'd left home that morning, he'd absently slipped the card into the inner pocket of his suit jacket, where it had proceeded to weigh heavily against his chest until he could stand it no longer.
So far he'd made it through the first six cards the girl had drawn, attempting to understand their meanings and connect them as she had done the night before. What she'd said about searching for something – and not Gwen's cure apparently – continued to circle his mind like a hungry vulture. For all his cynicism, it was as though he wanted to find the same link she had, to learn precisely what he sought and why he was supposedly doing it wrong.
If, however, there was an answer to be found there, especially in the second trio which had seemed to suggest the resolution to his search, Ianto could not put anything viable together from the vague descriptions in the database. He had no idea where the element of time had come from, there not being a card to specifically represent it, and that fact had only served to fuel his belief that this was a fruitless effort.
And yet, despite wanting to stop, he had still brought up the details on one more card.
"Research for what?" Tosh asked, turning to look at him now, openly curious at the unusual subject.
Mind finally snapping into gear, Ianto waved a casual hand at some paperwork beside his elbow. "I found an old report about a particularly accurate tarot-reader and couldn't decide whether to file it under 'scam' or 'divination'. Thought it best if I brush up on the subject instead of just guessing."
Tosh gave him a look that he chose to read as amusement, rather than ridicule, over his anal tendencies. "That makes sense," she said, biting her lip. "Yes, perfect sense."
Ianto nodded solemnly, before forcing a smile onto his own lips. "Nah, I'm kidding, it's going straight in the scam drawer. I'm just fascinated that people could fall for this kind of thing."
Tosh looked mildly relieved at that and chuckled warmly. "It is strange, in an era of so many scientific and technological advancements, that people are so willing to believe in something that lacks any substantial evidence of its accuracy."
"Yeah," Ianto said, feeling foolish for letting the girl's statements get to him. He knew Tosh was right, knew that she echoed his own views, but still his eyes were drawn back to the information upon the screen. "Anyway..." he trailed off and, as he knew would happen, Tosh immediately picked up on the subtle dismissal.
"Oh, right, I'll let you get on then," she said awkwardly, a little taken aback that Ianto would bring an interesting debate to such an abrupt end.
He winced but knew he couldn't hold his casual tone for much longer. "Sorry, Tosh, I've got more files to sort after this one," he told her, hoping to undo a little of the offence he'd given. It really wasn't fair of him to be so curt when she was still worried about the team's rocky situation.
"No no, it's fine." Tosh lifted a hand to stop any further apology. "I understand. I should be getting back to work anyway." She smiled and hurried off, leaving Ianto rubbing his temples as guilt began to set in. There was a time when he would have handled a situation as simple as that a hell of a lot better and he was truly beginning to miss that ability.
Sighing, he turned back to the monitor and stared at the old woodcut image that didn't quite match, but was very close to, the picture card still tucked inside his jacket.
The Emperor.
He'd assumed it would just mean power or authority, but whilst those words did feature in the list of interpretations, there was another line that caught Ianto's eye and which sent a cold shiver along his spine.
The need to control one's surroundings.
Laying a hand on his chest, above the inner pocket and its contents, Ianto swallowed and reread the entire page, searching for something else that his mind could latch upon, but there was nothing.
His fingers began to clench into a fist, closing around the edges of the card beneath the material of his jacket. He attempted to reason with himself, picking out the fact that he didn't want to control his surroundings exactly, just his own emotions, but he couldn't shake the words, couldn't stop them from repeating in his mind, over and over.
How had she known? Ianto stood, full of anxious energy. Could she see the battle raging within him? The struggle just to hold himself together? He paced a few steps from the workstation and then back again, gaze returning to that suggestive line once again. No, no, she must have simply handed him a random card in order to confuse him.
He strode away again, the tension in his shoulders steadily growing. Jack was already suspicious; what if he also thought to look at the meaning of the Emperor card? Would he pick up on that particular definition as well?
In reflex, Ianto glanced across to Jack's office and...
...stopped dead.
Jack was at the window, staring right back at him.
A gasp caught in Ianto's throat and he swallowed it down again, frantically urging his brow to smooth and his eyes to resume blinking. All the while Jack watched him, his own features set in a deceptively calm expression that Ianto knew far too well.
Bugger.
Ianto had been standing beside the five-foot high glass tank for the best part of a half-hour with a clipboard in his hand detailing all the various schematics for the sturdy container. He had yet to glance at either of them for more than a few minutes each.
He'd come down into the lower levels under the pretence of setting up a better home for the alien slugs, but the moment he'd found himself alone with his own thoughts, he had been completely unable to concentrate on his work.
Sighing, he made another half-hearted attempt to lift his clipboard and resume working, but his arm immediately dropped to his side again as though made of lead. He was seriously considering going back upstairs and trying to find a better distraction by provoking Owen into an argument, or maybe teasing Jack and then reminding him of the not-during-work-hours rule.
Ianto almost snorted in amusement at the way his mind betrayed him so frequently these days; now it was suggesting he go seduce Jack when he was trying to avoid him.
"I haven't been down here in years," a voice broke suddenly through the silence, causing Ianto to almost jump out of his skin.
"Jack!" he exclaimed as he span around, alarmed that the other man would turn up at that precise moment, as though drawn by his thoughts.
The Captain merely grinned in response, looking up at the dirty Victorian brickwork arching overhead in the narrow but tall room.
Ianto fought to regain some composure, fearing his heart would burst from his ribs the way it was pounding now. He lifted the clipboard and focused on the tank's specifications, praying for a way out of this situation. He really didn't feel capable of handling Jack right then if he started demanding answers again, but he couldn't very well leave moments after the Captain had arrived.
"Cosy though," Jack was saying. "If you like the whole dank and cobwebby scene."
Ianto was unable to stop himself from smiling, warmed by the other's jesting in spite of himself. "I must have missed this room during Spring cleaning," he said, leaping upon the safe topic. "But then there isn't anything down here, except this thing." He nodded at the tank and then waved his clipboard at Jack. "I can't find out why this was built, but I know it was never used. Another one of Torchwood's mysteries, I suppose."
Jack frowned at the tank. "I think it was from when we had some sightings of mysterious shapes out in the bay during the nineties. Alex had a larger one built somewhere else down here to contain whatever we found, whilst this one was to be used to study them. Course it never amounted to anything so we didn't get to fill our new aquarium with..." he trailed off, and Ianto guessed Jack had belatedly noticed him tensing at the name just mentioned.
It took only another second for the connection to catch up with the Captain and his expression darkened, mood souring instantly. Ianto winced and turned back to the tank. "Well, at least it'll get some use now, I suppose," he said weakly.
There was a long silence, then: "So," Jack began, faux casually, "I was wondering if you'd changed your mind?"
Uh oh. "About what?"
"About telling me what the problem is."
Ianto held back a sigh. It was becoming more and more apparent that Jack wasn't even going to consider letting the matter drop. "Jack," he wearily said. "Why can't you believe me when I say it isn't anything to be concerned about?"
"Because it clearly isn't," Jack countered, stepping forward so he could see Ianto's profile. "I don't care how many times you say it's nothing, I know it isn't. You haven't been yourself for months now and whilst I understand you withdrawing a bit after the incident with Lurrelia, I can tell this goes deeper."
Ianto cast him a sidelong glance. "So being used like a puppet by an alien being isn't enough for me to be a little quiet now and then?"
"If it were only being a little quiet then I wouldn't be worried." Jack inched closer, eyes studying the other's features closely. "But it's more than that. You're distracted, you disappear for hours at a time-"
"I spend almost as much time here as you do," Ianto interrupted. "I think I've earned the right to occasionally step outside once in a while."
"And visit with someone who hurts you?"
Ianto's eyes widened. For one fearful moment he was sure Jack had learned of Alex's profession, but the logical part of his mind stepped in before he could give anything away and reminded him that Jack knew only of the scratches on his chest and nothing more. "It was an accident," he said quietly, deciding to stick with his story.
"So you say."
Ianto did sigh now; this really was getting old. He set his clipboard down on top of the tank and turned fully to Jack. "Do you trust me?"
A muscle twitched in Jack's jaw but he replied, "Yes, I do."
"Then perhaps you could prove it by letting this drop."
The Welshman could see the conflict in Jack's mind over his request. "I've seen you like this before," the older man started slowly, choosing his words with care. "When you had a secret so dark that it almost consumed you. When you didn't know that you had friends you could turn to for help."
Ianto's lips pressed into a thin line. "Lisa." Jack didn't need to say anything, Ianto already knew he was right. What better ammo could Jack use against him than Lisa? "So you don't trust me then."
"I do," Jack assured him.
"Only you think...what? That I've got another half-converted girlfriend stashed away somewhere? Maybe up in the attic this time?"
"Ianto..."
"No, I'm serious," the young man said, growing more irate by the minute. What more did he need to do to make amends for that incident? "What exactly do you think I've done this time?"
"Ianto!" Jack barked, his eyebrows drawing together into a scowl. "I do trust you. I know you wouldn't do anything to endanger anyone else, not after last time." He sounded sincere and Ianto dearly wanted to believe him. "But even if I don't have to worry about what you do, that isn't going to stop me from worrying about you."
"Even when I say there's nothing to worry about?"
"Even then," the Captain said, holding his gaze intently.
Ianto felt his anger start to waver in light of Jack's concern. There was no way he could admit what he'd been paying Alex to do to him, but he supposed resenting Jack for simply caring about his well-being was perhaps a little unfair.
He sighed again and stepped forward, catching Jack's lips in a kiss that the older man hadn't been expecting, a kiss Ianto hoped would tell his lover that, whilst he might not like Jack's badgering, he'd try not to hold it against him.
Jack's surprise was evident, as he didn't respond straight away, but it wasn't long before his lips parted and he welcomed Ianto's tongue into his mouth. Ianto pushed in to taste the immortal, letting his actions speak where his words might fail.
Hands slid beneath Ianto's jacket, stroking his sides through his shirt and then reaching around to his back, pulling him closer to the other man's body. He smiled against Jack's lips, enjoying the warmth and strength of the arms that held him.
"Ianto," Jack said, leaning back slightly and then tilting his head as Ianto moved on to nibble at his jaw. "This isn't going to work."
"Hmm?" Ianto responded. He curled his fingers around Jack's braces, inching them off his shoulders.
"You're trying to distract me, but it isn't going to work."
Ianto ran a hand down to cup Jack's groin. "Of course it isn't," he agreed, lightly squeezing the flesh that he knew would soon contradict the Captain's words.
Jack took hold of Ianto's shoulders and pushed him back against the tank. "I'm still waiting for an answer."
"You might be waiting a while," Ianto said, licking his lips. He could see the frustration building in Jack's eyes, could feel it in the fingers digging into his arms. The older man was pinning him in place with strong determination and Ianto had no hope of breaking away. He shuddered, something growing inside him at the command Jack now held over his body, something he couldn't let take root, lest it overwhelm him entirely.
Something he didn't seem to be fighting very hard against, despite that fact.
"I don't have to, you know," Jack was saying and Ianto dragged his eyes away from the muscles he could see bunching beneath the other's shirt.
"What?" he asked dumbly.
"I could just go find out myself."
"What?" Ianto repeated.
"It's so easy to find someone these days, y'know. Even with just a first name..."
Ianto stared at him, eyes round with horror. "You wouldn't."
One of Jack's eyebrows lifted in silent challenge.
"No." Ianto shook his head. "No. You'd be invading my privacy."
"I've done worse," the immortal countered with a shrug. "What's a bit of snooping compared to everything else I'm responsible for?"
"Jack," Ianto said, his tone both warning and fearful. He couldn't let Jack find out about Alex. About what he'd been doing. "Promise you won't."
"Are you going to explain then?"
Ianto hesitated. There was no escaping it, he'd have to lie, but what lie would be sufficient to satisfy Jack's curiosity and yet not cause any troublesome consequences? He'd already insisted that he wasn't seeing Alex, that he wasn't sleeping with him, but Jack hadn't entirely believed him then either.
Perhaps that was the answer. "Okay," he said quietly.
"Okay," Jack echoed, loosening his grip and stepping away.
Ianto mourned the loss of contact; it was somehow easier to be forced into talking when the pressure was physical. "You were right," he admitted. "I lied." He looked away and self-consciously lifted a hand to his chest, resting it over one set of scratches. "I did sleep with him."
Jack's face was a perfectly impassive mask, though his eyes seemed to flash a little. "Right," he said tightly. Then he coaxed a weak grin onto his face. "Well, that's fine. Like I said, you're free to do whoever you want."
The words felt like a blade in Ianto's chest, in spite of their truth. It was one thing to be in a purely physical relationship, but it was quite another to be told by your lover to go fuck anyone you fancied.
At least it was when there was some major denial going on in your mind about being content with that 'purely physical' relationship...
Something in Ianto's tumultuous thoughts must have shown across in his expression, because Jack was suddenly frowning at him. "Look, I may have overreacted a bit, read too much into everything, and I'm sorry, but I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable about telling me you're seeing someone else."
"I'm not seeing him," Ianto instantly argued, the protest leaping from his lips before he could stop it. "And anyway," he pushed on, apparently out of control of his own mouth now, "I didn't mean for it to happen."
Jack cocked his head at him. "Oh? So why did it then?"
Ianto stared at the older man, completely baffled by his interest. He didn't want to know anything about Jack's past – or present – conquests, so why did Jack want to know about Ianto's?
"Because I let it," he answered. His eyes slid away from Jack's in shame, embarrassed to recall being sprawled over Alex's lap and spanked like a child whilst he did nothing to fight it.
Jack took a step forward and when Ianto automatically glanced at him, he saw suspicion creeping across the immortal's face. "Did..." Jack broke off, as though afraid of the words he wanted to say. "Did you want it to happen?" he asked carefully.
Ianto almost laughed. Jack had hit the nail on the head, but how could Ianto explain that had been the point? That he hadn't wanted to be humiliated and taken advantage of, and yet it had given him the precise sensation of freedom that he paid Alex to attain for him.
He did laugh then, realising fully the twisted nature of his perversion, but the sound came out weak and pained.
Jack was staring at him, rage spreading across his face as he took Ianto's response for an affirmative. His jaw clenched with resolve and he turned away, striding halfway to the door before Ianto realised what he was doing.
"Wait, Jack, don't!" he called out, hurrying after him.
The Captain shook his head and didn't stop.
"Jack!" Ianto said, slipping past to block the older man's way. "Don't," he repeated. "Don't you dare."
Jack shoved him aside and continued to stalk through the hallways that led back up towards the surface.
"I mean it, Jack," Ianto told him, still on his heels. "It was nothing. He didn't force me. I didn't go looking for it, but I wasn't forced either. It just happened, okay?"
That finally brought Jack to a halt. He peered into Ianto's eyes, searching for evidence that his words were true, and Ianto stared right back, determined not to cower beneath that murderous gaze. He might not have asked Alex to introduce a sexual element to their arrangement, but he hadn't stopped him, hadn't used the safeword that would have brought everything to an immediate halt.
And he certainly wasn't about to set his curiously angry lover on someone who had only been doing his job.
As the silent battle passed between the two men, a tiny voice piped up in the back of Ianto's head.
He's jealous, it whispered and Ianto mentally scoffed at the idea. No, he corrected, he's possessive. This was clearly some base desire to have Ianto to himself, to have the young man at his beck and call and have no one else exert the same control over him.
He shivered with emotion as he considered that idea, the dark hidden need rearing its head and Ianto realised just how dangerously close his two worlds were coming. He couldn't allow himself to connect them, couldn't bring the truth of his urges to Jack's door, because he feared he knew what would happen next.
And he couldn't let that happen. For his own sanity, he couldn't.
"He didn't ra-"
"No!" Ianto exclaimed impatiently. "And if you trusted me at all you'd take my word for it!"
Jack fell silent again, still staring deep into Ianto's eyes, but at length his body began to relax, little by little, his fury dissipating until he released a deep breath and the scowl lifted slightly from his brow.
"I trust you," he said eventually, though the slow pace of his words told Ianto there was more to come. "I trust you with everything except yourself."
***
The deluge of rain had not decreased at all since morning, leaving the outside world waterlogged and grey. Ianto failed to notice this, however, as he drove through the slick roads of the city: so focused was he in escaping the oppressiveness of the Hub that his usual instinct to be aware of his surroundings failed him completely.
The argument with Jack had left him knotted inside, his stomach clenching until he felt physically sick. It disturbed him to hear words of distrust from someone who played so large a role in his life and yet worse still to hear they applied not to his work or his treatment of others, but to the manner in which he lived that life.
Ianto had found his control stretched to the limit as he resisted the urge to rage at the older man. It would have served only to give Jack even more reason to doubt him and Ianto really didn't want to provide any further ammunition so freely. He'd managed to hold his tongue long enough to get out of the base, but as he'd climbed into his car, all the stress and emotional anguish of the incident clamped down upon him.
He was driving before even realising that he'd switched on the engine, and when he pulled into the small private parking lot, he wasn't at all surprised at his location.
Ianto locked up and headed for the apartment building, his thoughts upon the voice mail left for him in the early hours of that morning. There had been such worry in Alex's voice over Ianto's well-being, and he couldn't help but feel warm at the memory of that unexpected concern.
He hadn't returned the call, hadn't given it any thought before now, and as a result he felt guilty for being so rude. The fact, however, that it would have been easier to simply pick up the phone than come all this way didn't even register in his mind, as he reached the door and pressed one of the many buttons there.
There came no answer and after a moment he pushed it again to no avail. He shifted his feet, feeling uncomfortable lingering outside the building and pressed the button once more, holding it down impatiently. Still no answer. He looked around, knowing he should give up and leave but hesitant to do so, when suddenly he saw someone else making their way through the lobby towards the entrance. As the woman emerged, he stepped aside to let her pass and then caught the door before it could shut again, slipping though quickly in case she queried his right to go inside.
Upstairs, Ianto knocked loudly on Alex's door, feeling more and more restless, the question of what he was doing there finally edging towards his conscious thoughts. He didn't want to think about the motives which had brought him to that place, didn't want to consider how he was seeking someone who had expressed concern for him when he'd only just walked out on Jack for doing the exact same thing.
He knocked again and the door was yanked open to reveal a scowling man.
"What?" Alex demanded, only for his expression to relax the moment he saw who stood before him. "Ianto," he said, his tone instantly warm and low. "What are you doing here? I'm just about to start a session."
Ianto blinked, the thought having never occurred to him and he glanced automatically into the room behind the other man. He couldn't see anyone else inside, but apparently just looking was enough for Alex's professionalism to kick in and he stepped out into the hallway, pulling the door shut as he did so.
"Is something the matter? Why are you here?"
"I, uh..." Ianto frowned. What was he doing there?
"Another bad day?" Alex asked, a wry smile twisting his lips upwards.
"Yes," admitted Ianto, looking away in embarrassment. He realised with a start just how many times he'd seen Alex lately. How had things gotten so out of hand; how had he lost so much control over himself?
He was too logical not to realise where this need of his had stemmed from. Being used by an alien, being psychically forced to betray himself and his friends was a serious blow to his inherent self-restraint and this was the manner with which he'd chosen to reclaim that control. But the recent escalation, the increase in his hunger, that was something he could not account for.
Or rather the reason for it was not something he could admit to himself.
"Did you have a fight with Owen?" Alex asked, interrupting his vexing thoughts.
Ianto only just stopped himself from asking why a fight with Owen would have brought him there; the recollection of his lie about Jack's name emerging just in time to save further confusion.
"You didn't even call to ask if you could come over," Alex was saying, not waiting for an answer. "So something serious must have happened."
The younger man shrugged, still troubled by the fact he had hurried there without any true consideration of what he was doing. What had he hoped to achieve? Another quick session in the playroom to calm his rage and then back to work like nothing had happened? Or perhaps another of the new kind of sessions, the ones that took place in Alex's bedroom...was that what he'd come looking for?
Alex stepped closer and lifted a hand to cup Ianto's cheek. He peered into his eyes, the dark orbs piercing, seeing into his very soul. "You're too good for him," the older Welshman murmured. "He doesn't know what he's got in you."
Ianto blinked, the words taking him by surprise. "What?" he asked. Where had that come from? Alex didn't know anything about Jack and yet here he was judging the immortal Captain.
But Alex didn't reply verbally, instead he leaned forward and caught Ianto's lips in a hard kiss. Ianto grunted a protest but couldn't break away from the larger man and found himself crowded back against the far wall of the hallway.
Alex's tongue forced his lips apart, delving in to explore his mouth with such greedy power that Ianto couldn't help but respond, opening his lips wider as his pulse began to race and air became harder to drag into his lungs. Kissing this man in such a manner was definitely something new, and yet the force with which Alex was claiming his mouth almost managed to obliterate the tiny voice in Ianto's mind attempting to protest this development.
Almost, but not quite. How? it asked, how had a specifically non-sexual arrangement turned into spanking, then into hand-jobs, and now toe-curling kisses?
Ianto made a shamefully weak keening noise at the conflict between his common sense and the way this man was dominating him. He hadn't wanted to link his need for pain and submission to sex, but he was letting it happen for a second time without complaint.
"Inside," Alex said in a commanding voice, stepping back but pulling on Ianto's arm so as not to break the contact between their bodies.
Ianto's mind swirled, head dizzy with confusion and need. "But..." he stuttered, "...your client..."
"Fuck," growled Alex, before shrugging carelessly. "Oh well, can't be helped." He reached behind him and opened the door, dragging Ianto with him. "You're more important."
Inside the apartment, Alex finally turned away, though he still did not let go. "Sorry, Mr. Smith," he said, sounding not the least bit apologetic, "I'm going to have to cancel your session today. Bit of an emergency, you see."
The dour-looking man sat on one of the sofas glanced between them with suspicion in his narrowed eyes. "Doesn't look like an emergency to me," he said, unimpressed. "Looks like you intend to get laid when you should be doing what I'm paying you do."
Alex was entirely unperturbed by the accusation. He shrugged again and reached into the pocket of his jeans to pull out a thick handful of neatly folded twenty pound notes. "I'll give you a full refund, of course," he replied smoothly. "But I'm afraid you'll have to leave."
Mr 'Smith' glared at Ianto, but said nothing more as he rose to his feet, snatched back his money and disappeared out the door. Ianto watched him go, the man's words echoing in his mind.
Looks like you intend to get laid...
He grimaced, pulling away from the older Welshman slightly. Hearing it spoken aloud made it clear just how wrong this was.
"You told me you didn't offer any 'personal'services," he said quietly, not looking at Alex.
"That's right." Ianto's chin was grasped and his head turned towards the other man. "I don't take money for sex and I don't have sex with clients."
Ianto relaxed almost immediately; hearing that clarification made him feel like he was finally back on solid ground. At the beginning, when they'd established the rules, Ianto had been more than capable of handling this secret of his, but Alex's recent behaviour had knocked him off balance, pushing his control to the limits of tolerance.
It was reassuring to know that, although Alex might be expanding their sessions in certain directions – like spanking of all things – the line that Ianto was unwilling to cross still stood firmly in place.
"But you're not a client anymore."
The words crashed against Ianto's relief like a blunt axe. He stared at Alex with wide eyes, his lips open but unable to form the words of bewilderment clamouring for attention in his mind. So much for feeling like he had a grasp on the situation.
Alex laughed at his expression. "You're a smart man, Ianto, but I think sometimes you purposefully ignore what is right before you. Didn't you realise the moment I took you into my bedroom that things were different? That the rules were changing?"
"I-I don't understand," Ianto confessed.
"I know you were afraid to ask for what you really needed," Alex said, "which is my own fault because I told you I didn't provide anything sexual for money. But now that I've seen how beautifully you respond, how you revel in the pain and submit so willingly, I know we could have so much more together." Alex smiled at him and Ianto was surprised to see fondness in his dark eyes. "You're so attuned to your need, more than anyone else I've ever worked on. You seem to have such intensity within you and if we could only draw it out fully..." He trailed off, eyes sparkling with anticipation.
"But..." Ianto started to protest, though he hadn't yet figured out what needed protesting.
"You liked what happened the other night, didn't you? It gave you the release you've been seeking all along, the complete surrender to another person." Alex was still smiling, the happiness clear in his entire being. "It's okay to want that, you know. If you keep such a tight reign over yourself all the time you'll eventually fall apart from the strain. But you can find a balance of the two and I can help you do it. I can provide you with the outlet you need to truly reassert your self-control."
Ianto blinked at him. "But before...my scenario..."
"Wasn't enough," Alex finished for him. "I know this must be difficult for you to take in, Ianto, but it is what you need. Your body knows that, even though your mind may still hesitate." He took a step forward and ran a finger along Ianto's jawline.
The young man shuddered at the light touch, his eyes unwillingly sliding shut. "You really do want to sleep with me," he said quietly, the words emerging without any true strength behind them.
Warm breath ghosted over his face as Alex moved even closer. "You've practically been begging me to take you for the past week," he murmured, amusement colouring his tone.
Ianto shook his head in denial. "I only wanted the release," he blurted out, feeling distinctly uncomfortable at Alex's insistent tone. "To forget myself for a while. I wasn't looking for another lover."
"Lover?" Alex laughed. "Oh I'm going to be so much more than your lover, Ianto. I'm going to be what you've been looking for all along. I'm going to be your master."
Ianto couldn't stop his sharp intake of breath at that declaration. The word 'master' reverberated through his mind, gaining power as the full meaning of the situation finally hit him. "I don't think-"
His words were cut off as Alex pressed himself up against Ianto's body. A hand wrapped around his throat, not squeezing, but merely holding him in silent warning.
"You shouldn't think," Alex rumbled at him in a lust-filled voice. "Thinking made you deny your true needs for so long. Thinking makes you doubt what I'm telling you now, but I'll soon prove it to you. I'll make you see that all you've ever wanted is a master and that master will be me."
Trapped by the older man, Ianto's heart began to race. He knew – couldn't deny it having seen him at work – that Alex was a dangerous man. His extensive knowledge of both weapons and the human body had swung Ianto's mind on choosing Alex to provide him with the pain he needed; he'd wanted someone who could hurt him without leaving too obvious a mark behind and Alex's experience, his references, had convinced Ianto that he'd found the right person.
"I don't thi-" Ianto began, but quickly stopped himself from finishing that particular word in case he was silenced again. "That isn't what I want."
Alex laughed, a soft huff of warm air rolling over Ianto's face. He pressed his body harder against the other man, fingers tensing around his throat, just enough to remind him they were there. "You'll learn," he murmured. "You need me; you need what I can offer. You won't deny it for long."
"Stop it," Ianto said, his voice barely a whisper.
Alex laughed again and slid his fingers around to the back of Ianto's neck, tightening his grip and using it to pull the young man into another deep kiss. With his other hand he unbuckled Ianto's belt, drawing it free and then swiftly twisting it around one of Ianto's wrists. By the time he broke the kiss from need of air, Alex had caught Ianto's other wrist and tied it tightly to the first behind his back.
Ianto blinked, then tested the bonds that had been so deftly applied. Alex smiled down at him, returning one hand to Ianto's neck whilst the other slipped within the waistband of his trousers. He cupped Ianto's backside and jerked their hips together. "Are you going to behave or do I have to bind you further?" he murmured.
Ianto's lips parted in a quiet moan at the pressure on his groin and Alex dove in to claim his mouth again, tongue twisting skilfully around Ianto's until he began to return the kiss. Alex pulled away almost immediately and replaced his lips with two fingers. Ianto sucked on them greedily, his senses bombarded by the hand gripping his buttock, the ache of his trapped arms and the hardness grinding against his crotch.
The fingers soon vanished from Ianto's mouth to join the other hand down within the confines of his clothing, easing past the material of his trousers and underwear to delve into the cleft of his ass.
"When were you last touched here?" Alex asked in a thick voice, one finger ghosting over Ianto's entrance.
The young Welshman shuddered at the light contact, rocking back as he closed his eyes, lips still parted and wet.
"When did Owen last fuck you?" Alex purred into his ear and Ianto shook his head, biting his tongue to keep from correcting the other man. "If you don't answer me, I'll have to punish you."
Ianto jerked as a damp fingertip slipped into his hole. He contorted, trying to escape the touch and succeeding only in pushing against the other man. He felt lips beneath his ear and the playful nip of teeth against the skin there.
"Tell me or I'll leave a mark."
"No," Ianto groaned and the finger pressed further into his body. "Ah! Sunday! It was Sunday!"
Alex licked at Ianto's neck. "Is that so? Did you have an argument then? Is that why you came over here all 'out of sorts', as you put it?"
"It was after," Ianto gasped as Alex pushed in another nearly-dry finger.
The older man paused then leaned back just enough to look at Ianto through narrow eyes, though he continued to hold him firmly in place. "You little slut," he said, lips curving up into a wicked smile. "You went from my bed to his." He parted his fingers, stretching the sphincter muscles wide.
Ianto grunted in pain, trying to ignore the other's words.
"What about today?" Alex was asking. "You're not planning to run back to him again, are you?" He pushed his hips forward, letting Ianto feel the hard bulge in his jeans. His fingers worked deeper into the young man's body whilst Ianto struggled against the pulling ache of the penetration. "Because once I'm through with you, your hole will be so loose he'd know straight away what you've been doing."
Ianto squirmed, troubled by both the promise and the rough treatment. "No," he said weakly. "Don't."
"Don't what? Don't do this?" The fingers opened again and Ianto's entire body jolted in response. "I'll do whatever I want." He pressed his lips to Ianto's neck and began to suck in earnest.
"A-Alex!" Ianto protested, trying to pull away. "Stop!" If Alex kept on sucking at his skin, Ianto was going to be sported a large bruise above the collar of his shirt, right where he would be unable to hide it. He attempted to dislodge the older Welshman, only to be squeezed tighter by the arms holding him.
Another finger joined the pair already stretching him wide, distracting Ianto momentarily from the suction on his neck. He squirmed uncomfortably and then regained his composure. "No marks!" he yelped, but the other man showed no sign of obeying, or even of having heard him. Ianto groaned, his body reacting strongly to the stimulation and he struggled not to simply give in and let it happen. "Please, no...NO!"
A loud crash suddenly filled the air and Ianto jerked away from Alex, knowing without having to look that it was Jack who had just burst through the door. He was yanked back again by the hand still clamped around his buttock.
The fingers in Ianto's ass were withdrawn as Alex turned to confront the fuming man who had just broken into his apartment, but Ianto didn't doubt that Jack had seen precisely what had been going on. He found himself unable to even look in the Captain's direction, shame tensing his captured body. "Let go," he murmured helplessly, though he doubted Alex would listen.
"Get the FUCK off him!" Jack roared, evidentially having recovered from the initial shock and storming towards the two men.
Ianto cringed, again trying to escape Alex's grasp and failing. Alex seemed intent on keeping him in place, even though there was a stranger bearing down upon them with murder in his eyes. "I guess you'd be Owen then," Alex said, impressively calm in light of Jack's fury.
The unexpected statement brought Jack up short, the possibility of him being Owen so abstract that it actually pushed aside his anger for a brief moment. "What?" he asked. "No. Why would I be Owen?"
Understanding instantly, Alex turned away from the intruder to look at Ianto, who met his gaze far easier than he met Jack's. "You lied to me," he said, tone light and his eyes full of promise. He gave the young man a knowing smirk. "You'll have to be punished for that."
Jack's fist swung in a wide arc, giving the well-trained Welshman just enough time to move aside so that the punch missed his jaw and instead caught him on the shoulder. Ianto was finally released from Alex's hold, though he could do little with his arms still bound behind his back.
As he stepped away, Ianto thanked whichever deity was listening that Alex had only loosened his clothing; he could imagine just how much more embarrassed he would have been if stood there with his trousers puddled around his ankles.
"Jack, wait," he said, completely failing to project any of his usual confidence into his voice. The blood rushed in his ears as he watched the other two men struggling. He felt impossibly useless when normally he would take such things in his stride. Did he really find Alex's home such a refuge that even now, with Jack's discovery of his secret, he could not take control of himself again?
"You sick bastard," Jack growled, landing a punch to Alex's gut and receiving one instantly in his side.
The large Welshman did not appear greatly troubled by the attack, his close relationship with pain perhaps giving him some rather more receptive feelings towards combat. His expression as he easily countered Jack's strikes was one of fierce enjoyment. "Sick?" he countered. "What's sick about doing an honest day's work?
"You consider rape honest work?" the Captain roared in furious astonishment.
Alex caught Jack's wrists with surprising ease and brought the fight to a hiatus, though the immortal struggled so much that Ianto was sure it would resume before long. Alex glanced across at Ianto. "You told him I raped you?"
Ianto shook his head. "No."
"He didn't have to," Jack declared, glaring at the man gripping his arms. "I saw what you did to him. I heard him just now, begging you to stop."
"Well, yes, but you know he didn't mean it, right?" Alex looked to Ianto again, something akin to amusement in his eyes.
"Oh really? And here I thought no meant no," Jack sarcastically retorted.
Alex laughed and Ianto fancied he could see the moment the pieces slotted together in his mind. "He has a safeword, you fucking idiot. If he'd really wanted me to stop he would have used it."
Jack froze, no longer even attempting to get free of Alex's grasp. "What?" He turned for the first time to look at Ianto, as though only just remembering he was in the room as well.
"Not to mention this is what he pays me for. It would be kinda stupid for me to stop now, wouldn't it?"
"Ianto..."
There was both alarm and disappointment in Jack's eyes and Ianto turned away, unable to bear the weight of that gaze upon him. And yet, though all of Ianto's fears came to a head with Jack's discovery, that look of bewilderment had at the very least served to snap him from the numbness that had kept him frozen in place. "Untie me," he said, his voice once again perfectly even and firm.
Jack made no move at all, but Alex clearly recognised the change in his bearing to mean that Ianto was back in command of himself. He released Jack's arms and stepped over to free the young man.
Ianto took back his belt and slid it through the loops on his trousers in silence. He avoided Alex's gaze as well as Jack's, feeling uncomfortable not only because his lover had caught them, but also because of what the other Welshman had started before Jack had burst in.
And even more so because Ianto had been about to submit entirely; allowing Alex to take their business arrangement to a completely different and inappropriate level.
Jack couldn't tear his eyes away from Ianto as the young man calmly fastened his belt and adjusted his suit as though nothing untoward had happened. He simply couldn't get his head around what he'd just discovered, it being so far from what he'd guessed that it didn't seem at all possible. Ianto was paying this man for...for what? After what the big Welshman had just said about Ianto's safeword, Jack couldn't even be sure what he'd actually walked in on.
"Thank you," Ianto said politely, glancing at Alex before taking a step away from him. "You'll send me the bill for the door, yes?"
Alex nodded and glanced at Jack. The Captain couldn't give a damn about the other man's broken door; what annoyed him more was that the accusatory glare was clearly not for the splintered wood, but rather for the interruption of the bastard's plans for Ianto.
Whilst the two stared each other down, Ianto swept past Jack, heading for the hallway without another word. Alex moved forward a few steps as well, a smirk twisting his lips now that Ianto's back was turned. It was obvious he thought he'd won a battle that Jack hadn't even been aware existed.
The helplessness he felt caused a surge of fury to wash through Jack's body and he closed the gap between them, swinging his fist again and punching the man fully in the face at last. Anger lent him strength, and where he had been holding back before he had no such qualms this time. The Welshman dropped to the floor, his complacency working against him.
Jack reached down before Alex could react and grabbed the collar of his t-shirt. He hauled the large man halfway to his feet, only to punch him again, causing his head to snap violently backwards. Blood poured from Alex's nose and Jack lifted his hand once more, but his arm was caught in a vice-like grip before he could bring it down.
"That's enough," Ianto said quietly.
Jack looked from the hand on his arm to the other man's blank face. "Like hell it is."
"This has nothing to do with him." Ianto pressed on his arm. "Put him down," he insisted in a cold voice.
Alex fell to the floor with a thud and a groan as Jack opened his hand, not caring at all that he'd been the only thing holding the dazed Welshman up.
Jack turned to stare at his lover, hands balled into fists at his sides. "Ianto..." he said, then stopped, lost for words.
Ianto glanced down at the bleeding man on the floor, brow creased in thought. Jack could tell he was running through the choices for his next action; did he help clean Alex up, did he make Jack do it, or did he walk away before anything worse happened...?
"Let's go," Ianto said firmly, apparently having chosen the latter option, and then turned away before Jack had a chance to respond.
***
Jack tailgated Ianto's car all the way back to the Hub, following closely to make sure he didn't run away. He doubted Ianto would try to flee, he really wasn't the type, but Jack wasn't willing to take any chances. He wanted this problem sorted immediately, without any more distractions.They parked in adjacent spaces in the underground car park and walked over to one of the lesser-used entrances to the Hub. Ianto looked around, checking there was no one nearby to spot them passing through the unmarked door, but Jack simply strode forward, too preoccupied by what he had just discovered to worry about witnesses.
He said nothing to the other man as they made their way through narrow corridors to the centre of the Hub, didn't even look at him directly, though he was conscious enough of Ianto's presence to know that he still followed. Once they reached the large open area, Jack continued on towards his office, ignoring Owen and Tosh in his determined state.
The briefest hesitation in Ianto's footsteps alerted Jack to an impending attempt to veer away and he scowled back over his shoulder at the young Welshman, silently informing him that he wasn't dismissed yet. Ianto's expression remained blank as he fell back into step with the Captain.
As they passed Tosh, she gave them a slightly panicked look, clearly sensing the tension in the air, but neither man had the energy to reassure her with false platitudes.
Once inside the office, Jack left Ianto to close the door, knowing he wouldn't want the others to hear what they were about to discuss, and moved around to take his seat behind the desk. Ianto followed and sat on the other side, the furniture forming only half of the barrier now present between them.
Jack fixed him with a stern gaze, projecting a far calmer outward appearance than he truly felt.
"So..." he drawled, an edge to his tone, "anything you want to tell me?"
Ianto's eyes flashed and Jack saw his defensive streak kick in. "What would you like me to say, Sir?"
"The truth would be nice, seeing as how you've clearly been lying to me recently. I take it all these trips to the dentist, urgent errands and such haven't been quite what they seem, right?"
"Why did you follow me?" asked Ianto in response.
Jack smiled humourlessly at his aggressive tone. "I knew you were lying about something," Jack answered without any feeling of remorse. "It was necessary."
The younger man folded his arms across his chest. "It was childish."
Jack gave a sharp laugh. "Oh, come on," he said in disbelief, "what did you expect? You run out of here right after a conversation like that and you think I'm not going to follow you?" He shook his head. "You knew what would happen. Subconsciously perhaps, but you knew."
"You think I wanted you there?" Ianto countered. "That's absurd! I've done a bloody fine job of keeping that part of my life separate so far, why would I just toss it all away now?"
"Ianto, for fuck's sake, you're far too smart not to see that you led me there! You wanted me to find out what you've been doing."
Anger coloured Ianto's view briefly with light, the lamp on the corner of the desk a solar flare of heat and brightness, and beyond that, Jack eyes, piercing in their perception. Fear pushed his heart against his ribcage with violent staccato thumps and air rattled out through his nose until there was nothing left in his lungs.
He blinked but the panic remained.
"Why do you care?" he demanded, voice shaky and unsure. "What I do outside the Hub is my own business and you're not supposed to give a damn about it! What about Gwen? Shouldn't you be worrying about her right now? She's dying and you're chasing me around the bloody city, prying into my private life!"
Jack did not rise to meet Ianto's raging. Instead he stared at the flustered man, absorbing the reaction and its various insinuations. "Gwen is safe," he explained calmly. "Her illness won't progress whilst she's in cryo, giving us time to find a solution at a sensible pace. Don't get me wrong, I want her cured as soon as possible, but rushing around now won't do any good at all."
There came no response and Jack went on, hoping to provoke another outburst with his next question. "Or would you prefer I ignore you and sit in the morgue all day, crying 'woe is me' until Owen stumbles over an idea that works?"
Ianto licked his lips and Jack read the answer in the tightening of his features. He wanted to say no; no, he wouldn't prefer Jack a sobbing mess. No, he wouldn't prefer Jack obsessing over Gwen's semi-demise. But he wouldn't say it. Not out loud. Not within Jack's presence.
Ianto looked away, opting to stay silent instead of incriminating himself.
Jack leaned forward, hands flat against the desk. "Okay, here's the deal. Either you tell me what the hell is going on, or I go back to that guy's home and make him tell me instead." Ianto's gaze flicked back quickly and Jack knew the young man could hear the honest threat in his tone. He almost wished Ianto would refuse and give him an excuse to go beat the crap out of that smug bastard, but, as expected, Ianto wasn't about to let another person to suffer for him.
"I'm not sure I can explain it," he said hesitantly, the fight swiftly melting from both body and mind as realisation of his position finally, finally, sunk in.
"Try," Jack pleaded, desperate for cooperation. He didn't want to give in and allow Ianto his dangerous secrets, but he didn't want to have to extract the truth in any way other than asking.
Ianto sighed and there was clear resignation in his voice as he began to speak. "It's just something I...need."
"What is? What were you paying him to do?"
Ianto visibly gathered himself and his eyes met Jack's. "To hurt me."
"I don't understand," Jack said, though he had a sinking feeling he could guess.
Ianto smiled grimly. "I guess you were right about me having kinks after all."
Jack couldn't quite process what he was hearing. Of course he was aware of, and had experienced in the past, what Ianto was hinting at, but he would never, ever, have thought the Welshman could possess such a desire. He'd never expressed any kind of preference for rough play over tender and they'd engaged in both variants enough over the past year for Jack to be sure he'd never seen the same light in Ianto's eyes that he'd seen for a spilt-second upon bursting into that apartment.
"You..." he began, not sure what he could say to that. "Wow." He thought about it for another few minutes, unable to completely wrap his head around this dark side to his young lover. "So it's... what? Some kind of rape fantasy?"
Ianto huffed out an exasperated breath. "God, what is it with you and rape? No, I don't want to be raped; it has nothing to do with sex at all."
Jack's memory unhelpfully produced the image of Ianto standing with another man's hands down the back of his trousers. "But you have slept with him, right?"
Ianto's mouth worked briefly before he answered, "No, not exactly."
"Then how, exactly?" Jack pushed, ignoring for now the revelation of yet another lie that Ianto had told him.
Something shifted in Ianto's expression and the professional mask he often wore slipped into place. "He tied me up, spanked me, then got himself off using my bound hands," he said without emotion.
Jack blinked at the crude description, but he knew Ianto was only speaking bluntly to unnerve him.
"Oh, he took care of me too, so don't think badly of him," the other man added casually.
Jack had to bite his tongue to keep his initial response in, then forced himself to calmly say, "That sounds like sex to me."
"Yeah, well, it would, wouldn't it?" retorted Ianto with a roll of his eyes.
"And what I walked in on earlier...what was that then?"
"It isn't about sex!" Ianto repeated in frustration. He leapt to his feet and began to stalk across the office. "Dammit, Jack, don't you get it? It's about control." He lifted his hands and tangled his fingers in his hair. "It helps me regain control of myself."
Jack watched him pace. Had it been anyone else but Ianto saying that he might have accepted it. As it was... "Says the most controlled man I've ever met."
It came out slightly harsher that he'd intended and Ianto paused in the middle of the room, his back to the desk and his body tensing defensively. "I think you're giving me too much credit," he bit out.
"And I think you're the one who's always made a show of being in control."
The young man turned, arms dropping back down to his sides, and frowned at Jack, genuinely confused. "When have I made a show of anything?"
The Captain shrugged, dismissing the exaggeration with a wave of his hand and pushing on eagerly now that he had Ianto off-balance. "My point is; how do you suddenly figure you need help regaining control?" Jack rose from his chair. "Did you accidentally put on odd socks one morning and everything's fallen apart since then?"
"You still think I'm lying, don't you?"
"Well I wouldn't be surprised," Jack admitted. "But if you must know, I think you're doing your best to fob me off with the bare minimum of details."
Ianto shook his head helplessly. "People generally don't know the psychological reasons behind their needs."
"People, yes. But you're not people, Ianto." The older man moved around to the front of the desk. "Your brain is far too crammed with information not to be able to give me a proper reason for your behaviour recently."
"And I should tell you because...?"
"Because I'm your boss and what you're doing could endanger Torchwood." He took a step closer and lowered his voice. "Because I'm your lover, your friend, and I worry about you."
Ianto's eyes slid shut and he turned his head away as though to deflect the gentle words.
"Ianto," Jack pressed on. "Please."
The young man's shoulders slumped and he sighed in defeat. "Lurrelia," he whispered dejectedly.
"You said you were dealing with it," Jack pointed out with a frown, "but this..."
"She used my body, Jack. She made me do things I would never have done and worst of all, she made it feel like I wanted to do them. Since then, even though I know she's gone, I've felt out of control."
"In what way?"
Ianto grimaced, clearly finding the truth difficult to admit aloud. "Emotionally." His expression twisted into a wry smile. "It used to be so easy to separate things. Now I can't trust myself to get through the day without getting angry or scared or...or jealous or anything!"
Jack studied him sympathetically. For all that Ianto claimed, he had hidden it well, but to actually be voicing it now, and to have been seeking help where he had, Jack knew he was finally hearing the truth. He felt for the young man, even more so now that he knew the incident had struck Ianto even deeper than he'd previously thought.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly. At the same time he asked himself why he hadn't seen it. Why he hadn't allowed himself to see it.
"Tell you?" echoed Ianto in amazement, strength returning not only to his tone but his stance as well. "Why would I tell you?"
Jack looked at him, taken off guard by the reaction. "Because we...share..." he replied cautiously.
Ianto gave a bitter laugh. "Only we don't, do we?"
"Don't we?"
Ianto gave him a look that Jack had experienced a number of times in the past few years. It was one that said: 'You know the answer and I'm not going to waste my breath spelling it out for you'.
"You should have told me," Jack said. "I could have helped."
"How?" Ianto snidely asked. "By coming along to hold my hand whilst he whipped me?"
Jack bit the inside of his cheek to keep from snapping back and letting the conversation degrade into a full-blown argument. He had nothing but appreciation for Ianto's sharp tongue, except when it worked against him, and didn't really want to encourage its insertion into the conversation now.
"By giving you what you needed," he replied instead, wisely letting the mention of whipping slide. He gave the younger man a reassuring smile. "I would have understood if you'd just told me what you wanted me to do."
Ianto gaped at him. "You're not serious?"
"Of course I am. It's not like I'd be disgusted by the idea."
"You still don't understand, do you?" Ianto said, incredulity filling his voice.
"Then make me!" Jack demanded in response.
The young man turned away without answering.
"I refuse to let this lie, Ianto," Jack went on. "You're putting us all at risk and I won't allow you to damage Torchwood like this."
"It's got nothing to do with Torchwood," Ianto protested.
"If you're not able to trust your own emotions, then it has everything to do with Torchwood. Your attention is diverted and you've been letting that man do things to you that could compromise you in the field-"
"No," Ianto interrupted firmly, spinning back and slashing a hand through the air to silence him. "No, I made sure from the start that it wouldn't inhibit me in that way. No damage, no lasting marks, that was the deal."
"Listen to yourself," Jack sighed. He leaned back against the desk, weary from the emotional strain of the argument. "You don't see the danger in this at all, do you?"
"It's no different than Owen going out drinking every night." Ianto pulled a face. "When he could, I mean."
"It's nothing like that. This kind of thing...it messes with your head."
"It was helping my bloody head! It was the only thing that worked."
"Did you think to try talking about it?"
Ianto sneered a little at that suggestion and Jack shrugged. He knew the young man wasn't much of a talker, but this was far too serious a situation for his innate quietness to kick in. "You're talking fine right now," Jack pointed out.
Ianto rolled his eyes. "Under duress."
"Just cut the crap, okay?" Jack glared at him and Ianto glared right back, his obstinate nature never more evident. "You're not going to see him again," Jack said abruptly, the need to establish that fact pushing the words from his mouth without any input from his brain.
Which might well have been a mistake, considering the fury that filled Ianto's eyes at his words. "What?" the Welshman said in a tight voice.
"I mean it," Jack ploughed on. "It can't happen again."
Ianto's entire body tensed up. "You can't tell me what to do in my private life."
"I can if it impacts on Torchwood," the Captain informed him. "And if I don't get a promise from you now to stop, then I'll keep you here until I do."
"Keep me prisoner?" One corner of Ianto's lips quirked up in a weak smile. "Then I guess I'll have to promise to behave. Can I go now?"
Jack closed his eyes at the mocking tone. "Why couldn't you just come to me?" he asked again. "At least explain why it had to be some god-damned stranger?"
"That's the point," Ianto replied in exasperation. "Can't you see that? He is a stranger, he's nothing to do with Torchwood. Nothing to do with you!"
"Me?" Just when Jack thought the situation couldn't get any more confusing... "Why am I a factor?" he asked, his instincts telling him there was something important behind Ianto's clarification.
Ianto shrugged like a petulant teenager, staring off to the side and avoiding Jack's gaze.
The Captain frowned, suspicion growing that Ianto held him responsible for some part of this. He thought back to the cause of Ianto's failing control, to the alien's psychic inhabitation of his body. "When Lurrelia was in your head, she did something to make it hurt every time I touched you," he said quietly, grasping the faint thread connecting all the elements together. "Do you...do you blame me for that? Is that why you wouldn't trust me with this? I said I was sorry for pushing it when I knew I was hurting you, but you didn't stop me. You told me not to stop."
The clenching of Ianto's jaw spoke louder than words. "That isn't the reason."
"Well why else would you go to someone else instead of me?"
Ianto seemed to be fighting an internal battle with himself, his expression twisted and strained.
"Tell me, Ianto," Jack went on, recognising the signs of imminent surrender. "Tell me." He moved nearer to the young man, using his close presence to further push Ianto into relenting.
"What happened back then," Ianto began at last, anguish clear in his voice, "that was...God, I can't even being to explain how fucking good that felt."
Jack froze, the words failing to sink in for a few eternal heartbeats. "What?"
"It was ten times, a hundred times, better than anything I'd ever experienced before!" continued Ianto, animated and yet appearing pained by his own enthusiasm. "I didn't know my body could be made to feel that way and it was because of pain."
Jack was vaguely aware of his mouth hanging open. "What?" he asked again.
"It was good, Jack," Ianto repeated, something akin to pleading in his tone. "You hurt me and I loved it."
"You did?" Jack asked obtusely. His eyes fell away from the other man's face and then snapped up again as the astonishment dwindled abruptly. "But if you liked it so much, why go to some fucking sadist instead of me? You know I would have given you that if you'd asked."
Ianto dropped his gaze to the floor. "Yes," he quietly said. "I know."
"Then why?" Jack demanded, stepping even closer.
"Because I couldn't let you be the one to do it."
"Why?" Jack asked again.
"Because it would have meant giving you everything that I am." Ianto's head bowed forward. "You said you didn't trust me with myself...well, I guess I can't trust you with myself either."
***
Jack stared dumbly as Ianto turned and left the office, but the minute he was out of sight Jack jolted back into action and hurried after him.
"Hey!" he called from the doorway.
Ianto waved a dismissive hand and continued to walk.
"Dammit, Ianto, we're not done yet!"
The Welshman stopped, his head dipping slightly before he glanced over his shoulder. "I have nothing else to say."
"Oh really?" countered Jack fiercely. He was vaguely aware of Tosh slowly spinning her chair around to face them, but ignored her attention. "Because I don't think you said nearly enough just now."
Ianto stared at him coolly and said nothing.
"You can't just tell me something like that then walk away," Jack went on, his confusion making him angry. "Don't I deserve an explanation?"
"You want to have this conversation now?" Ianto asked in a flat tone, just as Owen stomped into sight from the medical bay, drawn by the raised voices.
"I want you to explain what the hell you meant," Jack growled. He knew he should have taken Ianto's hint and moved the conversation into more private surroundings, but he wasn't entirely sure the other man would follow if he tried. "How can you say you don't trust me, after demanding I give you my trust only this morning?"
Ianto's expression remained carefully blank. "Perhaps if you'd given it..." He trailed off and shrugged. "I guess we're equal now."
Knowing he shouldn't be surprised by Ianto's sarcasm, Jack still frowned in bewilderment. "What's gotten into you?" he asked helplessly.
"I thought we'd already covered that one," Ianto replied. "An alien got into me and screwed with my head, remember?"
"Ianto," sighed the Captain, "just...come back into the office."
"I told you, I've said all I have to say about this."
"So I'm not allowed to know what I've done to keep you from sharing that part of your life with me?"
Ianto rolled his eyes. "I'll answer that if you can tell me why I should share it with you."
There was a trick here, Jack knew, and he narrowed his eyes at the younger man. "Because of what we have," he replied cautiously. "Isn't that worth your honesty?"
Ianto smiled and shook his head, gaze directed somewhere past Jack's shoulder. "I can't believe you're even trying to use that argument." He started to turn away but span back, a scowl distorting his features. "No, seriously, I can't believe it. How dare you try to use that against me!" He took a step forward, finger stabbing the air in punctuation. "All the crap I put up with, everything I do for you, and you think that gives you the right to demand even more from me?"
"I'm not demanding-"
"You are! You want me to open up, to tell you every single secret I might have, with no regard at all to my privacy!"
"Is it really so bad that I want to help?" Jack asked, his anger rising again. Why was Ianto being so defensive about this?
Tosh slipped from her chair, eyeing both Ianto and Jack with something akin to fear. "Guys..."
"This has nothing to do with you, Tosh," Jack snapped. "Stay out of it."
"Don't talk to her like that," Ianto retorted just as sharply.
"If you'd come into the damn office and stop hiding behind her then I wouldn't have to."
Ianto stared incredulously at him. "Hiding?" he echoed.
"Yes, Ianto, hiding. Using her presence to try and keep me from mentioning your little kink."
The snide tone came from his frustration, the threat from his exasperation, and together they elicited a narrow fearful glare from the young Welshman. Jack could almost see the calculations taking place in Ianto's mind; would he really bring that up now, in front of the others, just to get his way?
The answer in this case was: yes, absolutely. Now that Jack knew the extent of Ianto's secret habit, he could not allow it to continue outside the Hub, and he would do whatever it took to make sure that Ianto stayed out of harm's way.
"Don't you fucking dare," Ianto said, his voice low and hostile as he recognised the determination in the Captain's eyes.
"You keep saying that to me," replied Jack, "even though you know I'll do whatever I deem necessary to keep Torchwood safe."
"It has nothing to do with Torchwood!" Ianto cried yet again. "It's my life, my problem and I don't want you involved!"
"Jack, I think you should listen to him," Owen said, finally climbing the last step up from the medical bay. He had a scowl upon his face, but his empty hands were held up before him in a placating gesture.
The Captain turned on him. "Why are you taking his side?" A disturbing thought entered his mind. "You already knew didn't you?" Owen shook his head in confusion but Jack wasn't having any of it. "Of course you knew. You'd have seen the...the what? Bruises? Rope burns? Whip marks?" He glanced back at Ianto. "You never did go into detail," he said with an unrepentant shrug.
The young Welshman stared at him in astonishment. His mouth opened but no words came out.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Owen said in his place. "What the hell? What are you talking about?"
"Ianto?" Tosh asked quietly, peering up at the shocked Welshman.
Jack took in the stunned atmosphere and wondered if he might have been a little hasty to assume Owen knew anything about the situation. Ianto was good at hiding things, after all; maybe he'd even managed to conceal any telling marks from the doctor as well.
"You bastard," Ianto ground out. His breath was coming in sharp gasps, face reddening with either embarrassment, rage, or both. "You have no right-"
"I have every right when you're putting us all at risk! You placed your life in an outsider's hands and let him manipulate you! What if he'd tried to use you to get at Torchwood?"
"What? Alex doesn't know anything about Torchwood."
"And how can you be so sure of that?" Jack demanded. "You know that threats can come from anywhere, why is this guy clear of suspicion?"
Ianto's face grew even redder, his body tense and his gaze locked with Jack's. "I must have missed the memo about performing background checks on everyone we associate with," he said sarcastically. "Oh, but wait, you've never done that for any of your contacts. I guess it's only me with poor judgement, right?" He spoke the last few words in an uncharacteristic sneer, his face twisting with ugly emotions.
"Don't be a fool, Ianto. You know perfectly well how much power you gave that man and how it could have been used against you." Jack couldn't believe he had to argue this hard to get his point across. It wasn't often that Ianto was blind to something so obvious...in fact it was downright unprecedented.
"Oh-kay fellas," Owen said in a surprisingly soothing voice. "I think we all need to just calm down and-"
"I didn't give him any power," declared Ianto, ignoring Owen's attempt to intervene. "I was the one in control."
"The sub dominates from below?" Jack asked. "True, unless the goddamn sadist has a secret agenda and a gift for manipulation."
Ianto groaned with frustration. "He's not the enemy, Jack! I'm sure you've already done a check on him, so why are you acting like he's the bad guy?"
"Because you are continuing to prove just how blind you are to this situation. And if your judgement is impaired then I'm not going to let you prance around the city getting spanked by any bloke with a business page on Facebook!"
Quiet fell abruptly across the room like a drenching of ice cold water, leaving only the sound of Ianto's wheezing breath to break the silence.
Jack held his gaze, refusing to back down now he had the upper hand. In his peripheral vision he saw Tosh glance worriedly at Owen, who in turn moved forward to block their line of sight.
"Right, that's enough!" he growled fiercely, glaring at the Captain. "Jack, bugger off. Ianto, sit down before you collapse, and for God's sake take a deep breath."
Jack opened his mouth to protest but Owen saw and took a step towards him, radiating menace despite his smaller stature. "I don't give a fuck what you're about to say, Jack, so don't even bother. All I care about is the fact that he," the doctor jerked a thumb over his shoulder to where Tosh was pushing Ianto gently towards the old battered sofa, "is about to hyperventilate. Now get lost until he's breathing normally again!"
The urge to protest still remained, in spite of Owen's warning, but when Jack glanced at Ianto's now pale face, a tiny thread of sense slipped past his anger. He realised with a start that the delicate state of balance Ianto had only just been holding in place the past few months had just crumbled to dust.
Because of him.
He hesitated, loath to run away when the matter was far from dealt with, but Owen's dark glower left him in no doubt that his presence would not be tolerated by any of them right then.
"Fine," Jack said unhappily, "but he's not to leave the Hub." Tosh glanced up at that, surprise and concern in her dark eyes, whilst Ianto merely stared blindly at the coffee table. "If I see him anywhere near an exit, I'll put us into full lockdown. Got it?"
***
Next part of The Undeniable.
- Main Torchwood slash page
- New stories page
- Jack/Ianto stories
- Ianto/Owen stories
- Other pairings stories - ie threesomes
- F/F stories
- Gen stories
- Amazon.com - Torchwood: Children of Earth
- Amazon.co.uk - Torchwood - Children of Earth [DVD] [2009]
- Amazon.ca link - Torchwood - The Complete First Season (7DVD)
