Title: This Kiss
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3
Prompt: 17, First Kiss
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

"Do you remember our first kiss?" Ianto asked the Doctor as they lay in bed, a smile on his face. He ruffled the Time Lord's hair affectionately, looking down at the man in his arms. "I can remember it so clearly. I'll never forget what it felt like."

"Neither will I," the Doctor murmured, stretching his lean body and settling himself more comfortably into his young lover's arms. "It's etched on my memory forever. How could I forget a moment like that? The first kiss with the love of my life."

"Sometimes it's still so hard for me to believe that you can actually feel that way about me," Ianto said softly, his voice trembling a little. "You're such an incredible man, and I'm only a human with nothing particularly special about me."

The Doctor's eyes widened as he looked up at Ianto, an expression of incredulity spreading over his features as though he couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

"Don't ever say that, Ianto," he remonstrated, his voice soft. "You know that you're much, much more than that, to me if not to yourself. It hurts me to hear you say that you don't consider yourself special -- you should have a higher opinion of who you are."

Ianto felt ashamed of his words; he hadn't realized that the Doctor cared so much about his own opinion of himself. The thought that he had hurt his lover in any way, even by a mere way of looking at himself, made him feel guiltier than he'd thought he could feel. He had to bite his lip and fight down the tremor in his voice before he could speak again.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he murmured, feeling a blush rise in his cheeks as he spoke. "I didn't know that my opinion meant that much to you. I'll try to see myself in a different light -- but sometimes, compared to you, I feel that I fall far short."

"You never fall short of my expectations," the Doctor told him, shaking his head. "Ianto, I love you. I've loved you ever since the first time I looked into those incredible eyes and knew that you were meant for me. That in itself makes you special to me."

"I've never felt that I was particularly special to anyone -- so I can't begin to put into words what hearing you say that means to me," Ianto said softly, bowing his head to press a kiss to the Time Lord's cheek. "You're definitely stroking my ego."

The Doctor relaxed in his arms, laughing and shaking his head. "It's probably a bit vain of me to feel that because you're special to me, that makes you feel more confident in yourself," he mused. "I know that my opinion isn't the most important one in the world."

"Really?" Ianto raised an eyebrow, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "I would have thought that a Time Lord's opinion trumps anyone else's ...."

"A Time Lord's opinion is generally the right one," the Doctor told him, trying to keep a straight face and failing. Ianto joined in his laughter, pulling the Doctor closer against him and nuzzling his cheek against the other man's soft hair.

"And I would say that yours means more to me than anyone else's," Ianto said, still smiling. "I'm glad you have such a good opinion of me, love. When we first met, I worried myself sick that you wouldn't think I was good enough for you."

"Why in the world would I think that?" The Doctor looked truly surprised; Ianto found himself having to rearrange yet another opinion that he'd held for a while. He'd thought that the Doctor might have had some misgivings about being in a relationship with a human when they'd first come together, but apparently that hadn't been the case.

"I just worried that .... you might have reservations about me because I'm human," he admitted, hating the words even as he said them, but feeling that he had to tell the Doctor exactly how he'd felt. It just seemed to be a bad reflection on his own thoughts about the Time Lord.

The Doctor shook his head, frowning slightly. "I never had any reservations, Ianto. I wanted to be with you right from the start." He looked down at their intertwined hands, staying silent for several long moments before he spoke again. "Did you feel the same way?"

"Yes, I did," Ianto said softly, his sincerity evident in his tone. "I wanted to be with you from the first time I laid eyes on you. I had no doubts about that."

"I was worried that you might compare me to Jack -- and find me wanting," the Doctor said, a sigh coming out with the words. It sounded like a sigh of relief to Ianto, but he couldn't be sure. "After all, I know just how .... charming he can be."

Oh dear. This was always a stumbling block -- the fact that they had both been involved with Jack at some point. Ianto swallowed, not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to give the Doctor the idea that he'd been happier with Jack -- because he hadn't been. Nothing could compare with the relationship he had with the Doctor. Nothing ever would.

That was what he should say, he told himself. Let the Doctor know exactly how he felt -- and that he had nothing to worry about in terms of what he and Jack had been. There was no comparison between the two. The Doctor would always win, hands down.

"I never compared the two of you," he said softly, pressing his lips against the Doctor's temple. "I couldn't do that. You're two completely different men -- and I was at a different stage of my life with each of you. And I think you know that you would always come out on the winning side."

Was it his imagination, or could he detect another sigh of relief that the Doctor had barely let escape from his throat? Had he really been so concerned that he somehow wasn't as good as Ianto's former lover? He could hardly believe that.

"Doctor." Ianto's voice was firm, steady. "No one could ever take your place in my heart. I belong to you -- for now, and for always. Let's leave the past where it is. It's over and done."

The Doctor nodded, leaning back against his chest. "You're right, Ianto. We've talked about this before -- and neither of us should let our insecurities get the better of us. We're here now, we've found each other, and that's the only thing that matters."

"And as for that first kiss ...." Ianto smiled, whispering into his lover's ear. "It was phenomenal. I couldn't believe that a kiss could feel like that. You took my breath away the first time our lips met -- and you still do, every time I touch you."

The Doctor swallowed hard; Ianto tilted his face upwards, gazing into his eyes. He could see tears glistening in those dark depths, tears that he wanted to kiss away if they should fall. Tears that he was sure were happy ones.

"The first time you kissed me, I .... I knew that I'd been destined for you my whole life," the Doctor whispered, his words so soft that Ianto almost had to strain to hear them. "It didn't matter that I'd been born centuries before -- I knew that you were the one. I had no doubts that I was going to spend the rest of my life with you from that moment on."

"I knew before I kissed you," Ianto said softly, his eyes never leaving the Time Lord's. "All I had to do was look into those eyes -- and I knew that I wanted to lose myself in them forever. I still feel that way, Doctor. I always will."

"I think I knew then, too," the Doctor mused, blinking back his tears before they could fall. "All I wanted was to be in your arms, from the first time we touched."

"And that's where I intend for you to be," Ianto told him, brushing his lips across the softness of the Time Lord's mouth. He wanted to melt into this kiss; it was a mixture of fire and tenderness, gentle persuasion and mounting passion.

The Doctor's eyes closed, his body relaxing into Ianto's embrace. This kiss was as passionate as their first one had been; the hope and promise for the future had been added to, build upon, with a promise of still more to come with the fullness of time.

As Ianto let himself sink into the kiss, the thought crossed his mind that each time he kissed the Doctor felt like the first time -- and, if he had anything to say about it, there would be many, many more kisses shared before the next one would be their last.

***