Title: Time Heals
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 4
Prompt: 23, Healing
Author's Note: Continuation of Far From Over.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

Ianto stirred restlessly, glancing towards his bedroom. The Doctor was there, but he himself felt reluctant to go into the room. Jack and Owen had left not long before, after they'd brought the Doctor there from the Hub. Owen had taken care of him as best he could, giving Ianto specific instructions on what to do if the bleeding started again.

"I don't know exactly what his physiology is," Owen had explained, looking worriedly at the man lying unconscious on the examination table between them. "But his body is human enough for me to think that he'll heal with time. You just won't be able to .... ahhh .... errr ...." He'd averted his eyes, not wanting to refer to Ianto's sex life with the Doctor.

"I wasn't planning on fucking him up the arse any time soon," Ianto had said, wanting to needle Owen for some reason. He knew that he'd scored a direct hit when the other man blushed and looked away, mumbling something about how the Doctor would more than likely keep him from that by screaming if he was touched, anyway.

Owen hadn't spoken again when he and Jack had left, other than to tell Ianto to call him at home if he thought the Doctor needed him, and he would be over to check on things. But Ianto had shaken his head, determined to take care of the Doctor himself. If he needed something medical, he'd call Owen, but otherwise .... he was on his own.

He stood up, looking towards the bedroom. He had no idea if the Doctor was awake or not; he'd still been unconscious when they'd brought him here, the sedative that Owen had given him taking effect while they were in the Tardis. He should go in and check on the Gallifreyan, he told himself, feeling his heart rate speed up at the thought.

Why was he so nervous about being in the same room with the man he loved? Was it only because of his apprehension about what their conversation would be? Or was it because he was terrified of hearing the Doctor say that he would leave again once he'd healed -- leave and never come back? Those were the words he dreaded hearing.

Ianto took a few slow steps towards the bedroom, his footfalls increasing in speed as he neared the doorway. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the room, hoping that the Doctor wouldn't be awake and that he could sink down onto the bed and watch his love sleep, keeping vigil over him and making sure that his rest was protected.

How many more chances would he have to observe the Doctor in slumber? he wondered, making his way across the room and sitting down on the bed beside the Time Lord. The Doctor was still asleep, his face turned to the side, his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. Ianto's eyes riveted on his face, unable to look away.

He was so beautiful, Ianto thought to himself, stretching out a gentle hand to rest it on the side of the Doctor's face, his fingertips caressing the soft skin. How could any one man embody everything he'd ever wanted? It didn't seem possible that he'd found all of his heart's desires in the Doctor -- and that he'd possibly given them all up with the cruel words he'd spoken.

How could he have even considered giving this up? Just thinking about a life without the Doctor in it was enough to drive him to the depths of despair; there was no way that he could exist without this man by his side. Ianto swallowed hard, forcing back the tears that were starting to gather in his throat. He would convince the Doctor to stay. Somehow. He had to.

Ianto could feel the pendant around his neck pulsing; he leaned over, letting it swing close to the identical pendant that was still clasped on a thin gold chain around the Doctor's throat. The two pieces of opaline crystal glowed, intensifying when they neared each other; true proof of his bond with this man, a bond that he knew he couldn't bear to break.

The Doctor stirred, long lashes fluttering as his eyes slowly opened. He looked around the room as though he wasn't quite sure where he was, finally turning his head and focusing on Ianto. An expression of disbelief crossed his features; it broke Ianto's heart to see the hesitation in his eyes, as if the Time Lord wasn't sure that he was where he should be.

He leaned over the other man, his eyes anxiously searching the Doctor's face. He'd expected the Time Lord to be a bit disoriented; he probably wasn't expecting to wake up in this bed, in this place. After all, the last memory he had was of that torture chamber .... Ianto had to suppress a shudder at the thought of that room, and what he'd seen there.

"It's all right, beloved," he whispered, his voice soft and soothing, reaching out to brush a few strands of damp hair away from the Doctor's forehead. "You're home, you're safe. Jack and Owen and I got you out of that place as quickly as we could. I wish we could have gotten there sooner, but it took me a while to contact the Tardis and get her to come to me."

"You .... you contacted the Tardis?" The Doctor turned his head to look up at Ianto, his eyes wide with surprise. "She came to you?" His look was incredulous, as though he couldn't believe that Ianto could have such a bond with his ship. "What did you tell her to get her to come to you? That I was in some sort of trouble?"

Ianto nodded, his eyes never leaving the Doctor's face. "Yes .... and I could feel that she was frantic to find you. How were you separated from her, Doctor? Did the Master kidnap you? Did he send her away?" He had to take a deep breath and consciously keep his hands from clenching into fists. He didn't want to think of the Master forcibly taking the Doctor away to that place.

"How did she know to come to you? How did she know where you were?" The Doctor seemed unable to take his thoughts away from the track they were on, and in answer, Ianto held up the crystal pendant. The Doctor nodded slowly, his eyes on the opaline crystal for a few moments before he finally met Ianto's steady gaze.

"Yes, that would make sense. She knows that you're bonded to me ...." His voice trailed off, and he looked down, long, elegant fingers clenching into a small fist. Ianto put his hand over the Doctor's, wanting some kind of contact with the man he loved, unable to keep from touching the Doctor, even if it was only a small gesture.

"That bond is still there, Doctor," he murmured, wanting desperately to lean forward and take the Doctor into his arms, but not daring to. Their entire relationship had changed, thanks to the words he'd said in the heat of anger, and he wanted to let the Doctor lead the way into whatever they made of their future.

"Is it, Ianto?" The Doctor sounded weak, tired, defeated. He turned his face away, as if he didn't want to look at the young man who was studying him so intently. "You've already told me that I'm not welcome to come back to you if I leave again. And I won't be dictated to. I won't be blackmailed into taking you with me if I don't feel that I can."

"I ...." Ianto didn't quite know what to say. He hadn't expected the Doctor to bring up the argument that had sent him away, and he wasn't prepared with any pretty speeches. All he knew was that he wanted a second chance -- and that he would get down on his knees and beg the Doctor to stay with him and try to make their relationship work, if that was what it took.

"The question is, where do we go from here?" the Doctor said, looking up at him again, his eyes meeting Ianto's and not flinching away. "You're only going to resent me if I don't take you with me, no matter what my reasons are. I don't want either of us to live like that, Ianto. I don't want to have this resentment seething underneath a layer of contentment."

Ianto shook his head, reaching for the Doctor's hands and taking them in his own, bringing them to his lips and closing his eyes. "It won't be like that, Doctor. I don't know what made me say those words. I really don't. You have to know that I didn't mean them -- I can't live without you. I never wanted to send you away. You have to believe that."

"I ..." This time, it was the Doctor's turn to search for words. Ianto waited for long moments, almost afraid to open his eyes, afraid that the Doctor would look away and not meet his gaze again. When he finally did look down at the Time Lord, the Doctor's eyes were closed, a single tear slowly streaking down one pale cheek.

"Don't cry, beloved." Ianto's heart turned over in his chest; he couldn't bear to think that he'd made the Doctor cry, after everything that the Time Lord had already been through. Throwing caution to the wind, the young Welshman moved forward, wrapping his arms around the Doctor and pulling the other man into his arms, nearly into his lap.

He didn't know what he'd said that had released the floodgates, but the Doctor was sobbing in his arms, his face pressed against the side of Ianto's neck, those small hands digging into his shoulders. He closed his eyes, holding back his own tears, stroking one hand up and down the Doctor's back and trying to soothe him.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, love. I'm so sorry," he whispered, not realizing that he was saying the words that the Doctor himself so often used when something touched his heart and brought regret. "I can't promise that we'll never hurt each other again --" With those words, Ianto pulled away slightly, taking the Doctor's face between his hands -- ".... but I'll try my best not to."

"We can't go back, Ianto." The Time Lord's voice was hoarse and choked, the tears muffling his words. "We can't be exactly what we were before. Too many things have changed. I .... I don't know where to go from here. I know that it would be suicide for us to give each other up -- but I don't know where we stand at this point."

Ianto nodded, feeling his heart clutch in his chest. They couldn't go back. He'd irrevocably changed their relationship with a few simple words, words that he'd said in anger, words that he hadn't meant. He'd changed how the Doctor felt about him, changed the very fabric of their relationship in a moment of pique. It was his own fault, and there was no taking it all back.

"Will you stay with me?" he asked, his voice choking in his throat. He held his breath, waiting for the Doctor's answer. If the Time Lord said no, it would be no more than what he deserved. After everything the Doctor had been through in his many lives, Ianto was supposed to be his shelter, his safe haven. And he'd destroyed that. He was lucky the Time Lord was here now.

The Doctor didn't answer for several long minutes, but he didn't release his grip on Ianto's shoulders, either. Finally, he sighed softly and pulled away slightly to look into his young lover's eyes. Ianto didn't know just what he read in those dark depths -- caution, perhaps? -- but whatever it was, he knew that he hadn't lost the Doctor.

"Yes," the Time Lord whispered, his lips forming the single word, barely whispering in the quiet of the room. Ianto wanted to scream for joy, jump up and down, do something to let out the happiness he could feel exploding in his heart. But he restrained himself; he didn't want to give in to that kind of a display, not now.

Instead, he tightened his arm around the Doctor's slim waist, his other hand threading through the silken strands of the Time Lord's hair. "You won't regret it," he murmured, sending up a prayer of thanks to whatever deity might be listening at the moment. "I promise you, you'll never regret staying. I'll make sure of that."

"I can't leave you, Ianto." The Doctor's voice was still choked, thick with unshed tears. "You may think that you can't survive without me -- but I'm the same with you. I've been alone too long, and finding you was my last chance at finding happiness. If I left you .... it would kill me. It nearly did -- but you managed to pull me back."

"I drove you away. I know that." Ianto was near to tears himself, struggling to keep them back. "It was my fault, Doctor. I pushed too hard, expected too much. I won't do that again, beloved. I won't question your decisions, I promise you. I had no right to do that, or to get angry about it. It won't happen again."

The Doctor sighed softly, nodding slightly. "I know that's meant to be an apology, Ianto. And it's accepted. I also know that we can't ever go back to being the same as we were -- but perhaps we can become something better. Time heals, you know -- and we have all the time in the world. Time that I want to spend with you, if you'll have me."

"Of course I will," he whispered, finally letting the tears fall. They streaked down his face, silently, joining the tears that the Doctor hadn't bothered to wipe away. How often had he held the Doctor like this, the two of them crying together? Ianto thought, tightening his arms around the Gallifreyan. And how many more times would they mingle their tears in the future?

He could feel the Doctor relax slightly in his arms, as though some of the tension was ebbing out of his body. "You need to rest, love," he said softly, plumping up the pillows and laying the Doctor back against them. "Try to sleep for a while. I promise, I'll stay right here in this room. I won't leave you."

"Lay down with me?" The Doctor looked up at him as he said the words, a pleading expression in those dark eyes. Ianto nodded, settling down beside the Doctor and wrapping his arms around the slender Time Lord, pulling the Doctor into his arms and pressing his lips against the other man's forehead. "Go to sleep, beloved. I'll be here when you wake up."

Within moments, the Doctor had drifted into sleep, but Ianto lay there for a long time, thinking about what had just happened between them. The entire fabric of what they were to each other had changed, but one thing remained the same. He still loved the Doctor as fiercely as ever -- and he was sure that the Time Lord still felt the same way about him.

He wasn't sure just how this was going to affect their relationship in the future, but he was grateful that he hadn't completely turned the Doctor away from him. His love was here, safe in his arms, and he hoped that he could keep the other man here for a long time. But when he had to leave, Ianto would let him go, instead of trying to deny him the freedom he needed.

Maybe they could make a fresh start, let the rift in their relationship heal. The healing that the Doctor needed could encompass them both, and bring them closer together. Ianto finally let himself loosen his grip on consciousness, falling asleep with a spark of hope growing in his heart. This time, things would be better. He would see to that.

***

Next story in series - Small Steps.