Title: Tin Soldier Too
By: Jessie Blackwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: R
Series: 1) Tin Soldier Revisited
Disclaimer: Characters owned by RTD and the BBC, Tin Soldier and Eyes of Amber owned by Joan Vinge. I don't own any of it, etc. etc. etc., no infringement of copyright intended, no money being made, etc, etc. Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Summary: Tin Soldier is a short story by Joan Vinge, the first sci-fi tale I ever read and was from Eyes of Amber, an anthology of hers. It seemed to fit. Jack runs a bar instead of propping one up, Ianto Jones is the rookie on a ship that comes to call.

The crew of the WGH456 piled through the door again, twenty five years to the day. Jack greeted them all, looking to see their faces, surprised when Ianto peeled off and sat at the bar. Captain John gave him a curious look but made no comment, shouting their order and joining the rest at the table in the corner.

"Hey Jack, how've you been?" Ianto asked.

"You're looking good. Space travel suits you. What can I get you?"

"One of your ice cold beers, please. You didn't answer my question."

Jack served him with a smile. "I've been OK. Place doesn't change much. They built a new shopping mall in the valley and ruined the view from my window but everybody complained and we were compensated. Managed to get an extension out of it, plus a roof garden with a hot tub." He grinned. "You're invited to share it…"

"Done…but…"

"I know the traditions." Jack admitted. "Never sleep with a 'tail' more than once. Don't worry, I'll not push for more." Spacers never slept with a 'tail'—their chosen partner—more than once. It was a tradition designed to prevent attachments. Spacers aged very slowly and couldn't form long lasting attachments to anyone. Folk they left behind aged and died as normal, while Spacers barely seemed to age at all. They did, of course. But when their bodies finally succumbed, a few got the chance to become a ship's brain, to carry on, their age and wisdom transplanted into the ship's computer. It was a chance most spacers took without a second thought.

"I wrote some poetry. I wondered if you'd read it…tell me what you think?" Ianto was tentative, shy of admitting it.

"Sure…I love reading. Can't get much stuff out here though. I trade stuff from you spacers sometimes."

"You should have told me. I can pick stuff up for you when I'm travelling. I'll fetch you some next time we're through."

Jack fixed the drinks for the crew and sent them across with a young lad who waited tables. "You'd do that?" he asked. "For me?"

"Yeah, why not? Don't others?" he shrugged at Jack's negative shake of the head and rolled his eyes in exasperation but Jack merely smiled and said "I don't warrant it. In most people's eyes I'm wrong…not human…why bother?"

"That is so…callous."

"It's life."

"So, when can I come over? We're in for two weeks, Xantian time…"

"That's a long time."

"Overhaul. Hit a meteor shower and dented the hull quite badly. We're being refitted and given a new paint job. Two weeks minimum."

"I could show you the planet?"

"I'd like that. Tonight, I'll get myself a tail… See you tomorrow?"

"I don't get up much before eleven. We could have breakfast."

"Sure. I'll catch you later." And Ianto took himself off to the crew's table.

Jack tried not to notice Ianto leaving later on the arm of a flashy 'tail' in red velvet and black lace and extremely tight black leather pants. He cleaned up, locked up and went home feeling old and lonely.

A knocking on the door the following morning brought him sharp awake and he stumbled to the door to find Ianto leaning on the porch wall clad in black cotton pants and a loose shirt, the open neck showing the light dusting of dark hair on his chest.

"Jeez, Jack, put some clothes on." Ianto was grinning broadly. "You're enough to make a guy break with tradition!"

"Sorry…" Jack dashed back in and threw a tunic on, pulling loose linen pants on underneath. He pushed his feet into leather slippers and came back down to find Ianto sprawled on the sofa.

"What happened to the blue velvet one?" the young man asked, running his hand over the coarse weave.

"Fell apart, it was already old 25 years ago."

"Ah, yeah, right…pity, I liked that one. So, do I get to see this roof garden then?"

Jack grinned and showed him round. The extension had been made into a library, although there were more gaps than books on the shelves that lined the walls, a squashy chair sat in one corner and a desk occupied the space under a small window complete with a reading lamp and a stool. Most of the books were originals, bought from a small bookshop on the corner of the same street where Jack's bar stood. The roof did indeed have a hot tub, plus a canopy to keep the sun off and several frondy bushes in tubs that screened the tub from prying eyes. Not that there were any as the house wasn't really overlooked. Ianto murmured approval and said "We going out on that date then?"

"Date?"

"You said you'd show me the planet…?" he looked hopeful.

"Sure." Jack smiled. "If you still want to. So, where do you want to start?"

They spent a lazy day trailing through the markets in the town attached to the spaceport, buying exotic foods and sweets. Ianto insisted on buying himself a couple of tunics to wear and asked if he might leave one at Jack's house, to wear when he came to visit. Jack told him it would age faster than if he kept it with him but Ianto wouldn't be swayed so Jack capitulated. He wanted to leave something of his with Jack, something of himself.

The following day they hired a gravcar and Jack drove them up into the hills and down to the next valley to the shores of a beautiful lake. Ianto shared his poetry as they sat on a blanket looking out over the still waters, barely ruffled by the afternoon breeze. The words were eloquent, speaking of his longing for the deep dark tracts of space and its carpets of stars, the beauty of the nebulas and the countless suns. Jack finished reading with tears in his eyes.

"You need to get this published." He said gruffly.

"You think?"

"I do. This says it all. This can tell people like me how people like you feel. You can show all those earth-bound souls what being a Spacer feels like. What it really means to you. This shows the passion, the devotion, the need, the…the yearning."

"Really? You really think that?"

"I do. Get it published, Yan. I'm sure others will see it that way too."

They spent the rest of their time together at other towns up the coast to the north, pretty painted house fronts and fishing boats picturesque in the summer heat. They caught a train that took them far to the south across the windswept Steppe with its nomadic tribesmen to the largest city, a soaring edifice with white marble towers and spires and walls and lush gardens, the seat of the Xantian government. Ianto marvelled and Jack smiled at his childlike wonder.

Always they went home to Jack's house on the hill, shared the hot tub and drank a few beers. Jack opened the bar in the evening and Ianto sat at the bar with him. Then they went back home afterwards. If Captain John thought anything odd about Ianto spending time with Soldier he said nothing and kept his thoughts to himself. Every night, Ianto slept on the sofa and Jack took the bed, longing in his heart and wishing he didn't feel so old.

Their time was up all too soon. Jack watched him leave with something like resignation in his heart. The first night after their departure was always the worst; time dragging until he could go home and lose himself in sleep. He watched the stars every night, hoping that somewhere, Ianto had managed to find a publisher for his poems. They deserved to be heard, deserved to be read by anyone who had ever wondered what being in space was like.

The book reached the planet twelve years later, born by one or two of the crews who came in over the next few years, a book which received critical acclaim from certain quarters. Its popularity meant there wasn't a spare copy to be had and Jack had to make do with borrowing one. He read it in one night and spent the rest of the next day copying some of the poems down before he had to return the book to the spacer in the evening. One poem he read brought tears to his eyes. It was a new one for Jack, one Ianto hadn't shared that night.

"I think of him,

Grounded,

Brought to earth,

Tied down,

Bound,

And wonder.

How do you live

With this?

I think of him,

Planet bound,

Feet on the ground,

Working

Smiling

And wonder.

How do you smile

Every night?

I think of him,

Serving,

Caring,

Being,

Living,

And wonder.

How do you live

With this?

I think of him,

Every night,

His body – in mine

His blood – pounding

His eyes – so fine

His voice – sounding

So perfect, so right,

In dark of darkest night

And I wonder,

How do you live

Without the stars?

And I know…."

Jack smiled all that night. He hoped the poem was for him, he really did. It might be for anyone, after all, it wasn't like he was his only friend. Ianto must have met countless tails in countless spaceports over the last 25 years, but something in the words…Jack hoped they were for him. It would make the time go more quickly if they were.

"…this is the last time I'll see you…" Captain John was smiling, wringing his hand.

"Why? You retiring?"

"Nearly, I'm on the long haul with a new ship, its taking me home. I want to rest now, I'm not up for having my brain scrambled into a ship. I like my bodily pleasures too much….I've offered Ianto to be First Companion in my place, though, and he's agreed. But it'll mean the long haul…"

"But that's…more than 40 years, isn't it?"

"Yup, deep space. It's a trawl but it'll be worth it." Jack smiled tightly and sent drinks over on the house. The First Companion was a coveted position, one down from Captain and the next up for the position, and if it meant John was retiring, then Ianto would be up for his job at the end of the voyage. But that likely meant he wouldn't be passing this sector again. Jack was horrified that he had placed more reliance on seeing the young man than he had realised.

"…and here he is, the man himself." John said happily. "Well, I'm going to find a tail for old times' sake. I'll leave you two to say goodbye. We leave tomorrow…"

The two men watched him swagger off before Ianto turned to Jack and said "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. It's a good choice. You deserve this."

"Thank you. But it means…"

"I know what it means." Jack met his gaze and warned him off talking with a look.

"I brought you something. For your collection." Ianto handed over a plainly wrapped packet.

"Is this…?"

"Open it and see."

Jack opened the package and stared at the small book within. "Thank you," he breathed.

"First edition. I kept one for you."

"Oh, Ianto…I don't know what to say…I read them…borrowed one from a spacer who was passing through and spent the night writing them all out by hand…"

"You did? You know how to write with a pen, then."

"My mother insisted, although paper is scarce. I wrote some answers to yours actually…about being stuck on earth, but it's beautiful in its own way, calm, safe, balancing. I…" he turned the first pages and gasped. There was an inscription. Someone else had written it for him, but the words were his. To Jack, it said, you gave me eyes to see, and a heart to feel and ears to hear, but most of all, you gave me love, without which I couldn't have written this. No 7 was always for you. Jack frowned, not understanding.

"No 7, 'How do you live with this?' I wrote it for you. You know? I think of him, grounded, brought to earth, tied down, bound, and wonder."

"You really did. I hoped it might be…"

Ianto smiled. "Well, it was. So, I'm all yours…"

"But it's your last night…"

"Which is why I'm breaking with tradition."

"What? You can't. That isn't the way. This is your last night before you leave for good tomorrow. You can't break with tradition now."

"Yes I can, and I'm going to. I'm not letting tradition get in the way of my last night with you. I owe you so much."

"You repaid me tenfold. Ianto, all these years, I've lived because of you, not just existed. I was a shadow before you came, going through the motions. You made me a better man, you found the humanity within the plastic shell. Although I am going to miss you so much…"

"Which is why I want to spend the night with you again. It's not much to give or to ask and I'm not taking no for an answer." Ianto took his arm. "In fact, you can surely close early tonight. You have nobody who can look after this place for you?"

"I have Dimitri, my neighbour. Let me call him."

Dimitri hurried over, eager to help and for the wages he knew he would get. Jack was a generous employer and he allowed him to keep any tips. Jack and Ianto left soon after, wandering up the hill toward the house hand in hand. The sun was setting over the valley, although the coal mines had been built down there since Ianto had been there last and he lamented the lost view.

"Progress." Jack said, "Things are never the same. They change quickly now. People forget…"

"I can't." Ianto turned to look at him. "How do you manage? Really? Knowing you can't die."

"I can die, just not from old age. These parts are virtually indestructible, the integration to my remaining flesh means that it renews as well. Nothing will break down. I can be damaged, but I can't die from heat or cold, illness or drowning. Things shut down and I go into stasis."

"Stasis?"

"I fell in a lake when I first came here after…when I left the hospital on Proxima VII. I was clumsy and trying vainly to walk properly and I fell…"

"And…?"

"Woke up in hospital when all the bits had dried out sufficiently to start functioning again." He sounded chagrined. Ianto smiled. "It was embarrassing, I can tell you. One of the doctors, he was kind. Greg showed me how to live, did physio on me, taught me to walk without falling over and to handle things without crushing them."

"Sounds like a nice guy."

"He was. He died a long time ago. Life carries on, or not." Jack looked bereft for a moment. "We can die too. If things are damaged beyond repair I can be shut down indefinitely. Sometimes though, we voluntarily ask to be shut down. Sometimes for years, sometimes forever. It's an option. I would probably have done it myself, except for you."

"Me? What have I done?"

"I look forward to the times I see you. Helps me mark the passing years." Ianto was silent at that one.

"Is there no way you can travel?" he asked eventually.

"Yes, I can, but I can't crew or travel as a passenger. I'd need to be put in stasis and packed, like baggage, woken up when I arrived."

"That's inhuman."

"I'm not human." Jack unlocked his door and they went in.

"That's bollocks." Ianto retorted.

"It's true." Jack went to put the coffee on and Ianto followed him. "At least, not as far as the Stella Authorities are concerned. I'm not allowed near a space port unless I'm signed and sealed."

"This place has changed again," He commented, admiring the drapes and the paintwork, the pictures on the walls and the new sofa. "I liked the old one."

"You said that about the first one. I got another blue velvet one because you liked that." Ianto smiled.

"So, what's on the agenda for tonight? Dinner? Movie?" Ianto suggested.

"You asking me out on a date?"

"Are you interested?"

"Yes…of course I am." There were tears in Jack's eyes as he went to sit with Ianto. "What will I do without you?" he asked.

"I'm in your heart, Jack, never very far away. You said yourself, you'll live a long time. It might be forty years, but I'll find a way back, if you want me to come back that is."

"Ianto, you are aging. Another two terms and you'll be heading for retirement yourself."

"Then I'll retire here, I think. When I'm ready to leave…if you'll have me?" Ianto smiled, a slightly brittle smile.

"If I could believe that," Jack said softly. "I never met anyone like you, you know? Nobody compares, not even Greg. So I'm not going to let you defy tradition with me tonight."

"Jack, the subject is not up for discussion. This has to last you for the next forty years, so tradition be damned. I'm attached to you whether I observe tradition or not. The damage is done. So, stop it and come over here, I want to kiss you." Ianto captured Jack's hand and tugged him close. "I haven't kissed you in decades. I want to see if you taste the same…" and Jack was powerless to resist as the strong arms came round his back and he was pulled into a knowledgeable, gentle embrace. Ianto had grown and changed, Jack thought as he allowed the soft caresses, whereas he had not. Jack had stayed the same as he always had, almost in stasis even while still breathing, he considered ruefully. He really ought to redefine himself. He ought to change, start growing again. It would be much better with someone by his side though, he thought. Trouble was that would never happen now. There was no one else.

Ianto's kisses grew more passionate, his body grew more aroused and he took Jack along for the ride. Jack had never met anyone who could make him feel like Ianto did, someone who could make him see and appreciate what he had to give. To Ianto, he wasn't inhuman or wrong, he was just a man, with emotions and feelings and thoughts. A long time later as Ianto slept in Jack's arms, the man who didn't need to sleep much lay thinking about the long years ahead. Maybe he could start to travel. Maybe he should see other places and beings and people. But he couldn't begin to imagine leaving. This was home. Home is where the heart is, he thought, and my heart is here, especially if Ianto meant it when he said he wanted to retire here.

He stood at a distance and watched the vapour trails of the afterburners long after the engines had ceased to be either heard or visible as the ship taking Ianto and John with it had disappeared into the sky and left him behind. Jack didn't know what to think or feel. The bar distracted him, made him think about something else for the evening, but he kept clock watching, seeing the time pass in terms of how long it had been since Ianto and he had laid together in his big bed and made love, slowly, achingly slowly, giving themselves to each other. Neither had spoken of giving up their lives and going with the other. Neither of them could have anyway. Neither one was ready or willing to do so. They therefore didn't ask and couldn't offer.

The bar was buzzing as usual, new crews passed in and out, familiar faces and new ones. Jack chatted and laughed and ignored the ache in his heart. He would live, that was the irony of it. He would continue, unless he chose oblivion. Then there was the thing he had never spoken of to Ianto. He was afraid to do so. He could wake decades from now to find himself a prisoner, or worse, a soldier in some foreign war, a scientific experiment or maybe even an exhibit in a museum. Eternity was best faced with eyes wide open. So he got on with serving behind his bar, watching neighbours grow up, grow old and die, seeing the spacer port develop, watching the town grow into a city around him. He watched new housing being built and new life arrive in a maelstrom of activity round him. The blue sofa fell apart, he bought a new one. Fashions changed, but through it all, his bar became a focus for the spacers who remembered it as the one constant in an ever changing world.

Developments threatened it with closure a mere twenty two years after Ianto had left. Jack had protested. Bureaucracy ignored him. It wasn't until incensed spacers almost stormed the planning office in protest that the bar was recognised as a vital part of the spaceport's history and given protected status. When it was suggested that Jack himself be removed an even bigger protest was set up, several crews insisting they would not land there if their favourite bar owner was removed. Unable to do anything, the planning office and the mayor instated Jack for life, in writing. At least if Ianto does come back, the old place will still be standing, he thought. In a way it was humbling, in another embarrassing. He had not understood the meaning he had for the spacers who lived seemingly so long but in reality no longer than the usual life span. For them, it was the universe that changed around them with the speed of light. Jack was a constant, something that anchored them to the world.

Dimitri died a few years later, he had served behind the bar almost all his life and died of old age with his children around him. Jack attended the funeral, saddened that another old friend had gone. Depressed, he opened up the bar that night and hosted a wake for his old friend, the only one of Jack's friends who still remembered Ianto.

A letter found its way to him a few years later, written on actual paper, in a shaky but otherwise legible hand. He tore open the packet and unfolded the sheet of paper almost reverently.

I learned to write, it said, so I could send you something of me. Electronic messages are fine, but the written word is personal. I have dropped John off on his home planet, I finally take the rains—Jack smiled at the spelling mistake—of the ship and we are turning for the return run. The ship is cranky, he's old and wants to come to the end of his tour. I can appreciate that. I hope you are well, I miss your touch and your voice. I should have asked for a voice recording so I could remember you. Take care, darling man. I have met with another crew who tell me that you and the bar are now under a preservation order. Thank the Gods for it. Some things don't change, nor should they. Take care and stay safe, no shutting down on me, I'll see you in ten…Ianto (if I have the timing right...)

Jack smiled for the first time in too long and read the letter about twenty times that day. He was happy for the first time in years. At home, he preserved the letter in a frame behind shatterproof glass and hung it on the library wall. He took a hologram of it, in case it should fall apart one day, as he knew it must.

eleven years to the day he opened the bar, waved to his new neighbours across the street and went in. The lights were new, although now, the downside of having a preservation order on the place was that he couldn't go repairing or changing it willy-nilly, he had to apply to the planners to change anything and the fixtures and fittings had to remain the same unless they said he could alter them. The place had at least been given a new coat of paint, outside and in. It was looking fine and Jack was pleased.

On time the crews came filtering in, ones and twos and whole groups, just off their transports and eager for news, gossip and beer. It was busy, but on the stroke of midnight, Jack heard a crew talking, holding court with a knot of about fifteen other spacers. Jack heard the numbers 456 and paused. He moved out from behind the bar and went closer, carrying a tray so as to appear purposeful.

"The Brain went mad…" a man was saying "…crashed the damn boat into the side of a building on Merovyne…"

"There's a stink about it…" another voice chimed in. "…reported some psyche issues and nobody took any notice, the First Companion being new an all."

"…should have listened…how do….think we….do the job?"

"…was old, cranky….should have retired…."

"I heard someone died…couple of the crew…"

Jack stopped as if poleaxed. Crewmen killed? He strained to hear above the general chatter in the bar.

"…First Companion, and another…engineer…."

"I knew him…Ianto, his name was, decent guy…." The world stopped. The tray Jack had been carrying fell to the floor, the glasses smashed, one opening a cut across his human palm.

"What the…ach, Soldier? What did you do?" Suddenly they were all solicitous around him but he excused himself and fled behind the bar. The floor absorbed the shards and the mess as it always did and he ran his hand beneath the water in the sink while trying to hold onto his rapidly disintegrating world. Ianto…dead? His ship destroyed? Gone crazy…he had mentioned the ship was getting cranky, but this?

"Soldier, you alright?" Meroviki, Captain of the Flash And Brash 349, stood leaning over the bar looking concerned.

"I'll be fine…"

"You don't look fine. Here, let me help." He took over cleaning and dressing the injury. Jack didn't tell him it would be healed by the following day, the attention was welcome.

"Is it true? The WGH456?"

"You knew them." It was a statement.

"I knew some of them. Captain John retired before it happened."

"The First Companion was a Ianto Jones. He's dead. So is one of the engineers…" but he stopped talking at Jack's stricken expression. "Well, all these years I guess it's no surprise to find you got attached to at least one. Put him out of your mind though. You know the traditions. If he's dead, his name will not pass our lips again. He'll never travel the stars again…," he paused, realising who he was talking to. "Sorry, Soldier, but life goes on." Meroviki patted his shoulder awkwardly and left, hanging on to the arm of a flashy tail in black leather and fur.

When the door finally closed on the bar, Jack was near collapse. His mind was in a turmoil, his emotions shredded. He walked. And walked, and walked. He didn't mind where. He couldn't go home, not to face the bed where they had… He sighed and found himself in the spacer quadrant.

"Halt!" said a stern voice, then "Oh, it's you, Soldier. What the hell you doing down here at this time?" The spaceport guard frowned. "You know very well I'll have to tell you to go home."

"Could I…would you mind…I just want to see the ships…only a few minutes. I found out someone I knew died tonight…well, I found out tonight…I'm sorry…I…" he stopped, shattered beyond making sense. The guard nodded. "Sorry to hear that. Of course, take a minute. Can't give you long mind. You know the rules." Jack nodded, grateful. He stood for a while in the cool wind, watching through the perimeter fencing, seeing the delicate tracery of lights down the side of the elegant black vessel, its semi-transparent hull shimmering in startlight. She would carry people off across unimaginable distances, through solar systems scattered with stardust, and carry people's thoughts and loves and hopes and dreams with her.

I fly in light through darkness,
I fly in hope through dreams,
I find my heart in the starlight
And deep in eternal beams
Of sunlight on the water,
Of moonlight on my face,
And I fly into my future
With humility and grace.

Jack turned to leave, heart heavy. "Hey!" the guard called as he trudged away. "My grandfather said his father fought with you in the Solar Ring Wars. That's not true, is it?"

"What was his name?"

"Who, my grandfather? Vashtan Bayle. His father was also Vashtan."

"I remember a Vash Bayle. He fought with our unit when his was destroyed. He was a man I'm proud to remember. Was that him?" but he knew by the look on the guard's face that it was. "Remember me to your grandfather, if he still lives. Tell your children you come from a proud line."

"I will, thank you…Captain Jack Harkness." The man saluted him.

Thoughtfully, Jack went the rest of the way home, uncertain what to think or to do. The following day the bar was closed, the barman unavailable. Jack stayed in bed, vainly trying to imagine Ianto as he had been over forty years ago. Eventually, as the day died and slipped away, Jack knew he could not carry on. He would go to their picnic spot tomorrow, it was preserved too, in a country park. He would sit and watch the sun go down, then he would come back and open the bar, he would drink a toast to Ianto and to John and to all the others he had ever known, then he would go home and sleep one more time in their bed. Then the day after, he would go to the hospital and ask about stasis. He would swallow his fear and sleep, forget the pain for a while at least.

The bar was buzzing that night. He had spent a good day, he had gone to their spot and eaten much the same as they had that day, then watched a spectacular sunset and driven home happier than he had been since he had heard the dreadful news. He made no mention of his plans, he could not. They would beg him to stay and he might relent, but he had made up his mind. As the bar closed that night, he took a final look at all he had accomplished and felt at least as satisfied as he could. He had done a decent job, he had been admired and wanted. Now it was his turn to take a rest. He turned for home one last time.

As he approached the hill to his house, he could have sworn there was a light on in the place. He never left a light on. Was there someone stealing? He ran all the way to the door and tried it but it was locked. He fumbled the key, clumsy in his haste, and threw the door open. He was uncaring if they had weapons, he was much stronger than a normal man anyway and had been known to subdue and knock out a rowdy patron with frightening ease. The place was quiet. Too quiet. He prowled the rooms, hunting the intruder, ears straining. No sound, nothing. Maybe they had gone, taken whatever they wanted and left by the roof or the window…

He passed the door to the bedroom and stopped as if poleaxed. There was someone in his bed. He walked into the room, his whole body beginning to shake with reaction. The figure was covered in the blankets, dark hair just visible on the pillow, slow rise and fall of the chest indicating sleep. Jack sat down on the bed, his own eyes trained on the prone figure that chose that moment to grunt, shift and move, rolling onto his back. The eyes opened and fixed on him, beautiful blue of a summer sky staring back at Jack, eyes he had thought never to see again.

"Ianto?" he thought he must be going mad. "You died…they told me so…"

"I did." The voice was rough, scared and bitter. "The ship crashed, he went mad, tried to suicide. I took over the manual flight…it was a fight, I won, but he crashed anyway…I'm dead, Jack…I'm like you, that's what it means…I was… rebuilt. I'm a cyborg now. I'll never fly again, never see the stars again…oh God, help me…" he cried, "I had nowhere else to go, so I paid the last of my money to be flown out here…I'm sorry Jack, I didn't know what else to do…" Jack clapped a hand over Ianto's mouth to still the panicked babble and drew him into a rough embrace.

"It's okay, you're here, you're with me now. I thought I'd lost you…" he grimaced. "I'm sorry, I'm selfish enough to be happy that you're here."

Ianto snorted and burrowed into Jack's chest for comfort. "What do I do? How do I carry on?"

"You'll live, that's what. I'll help you. We'll be together, I promise. I'll teach you how to walk and grip and things, just like Greg did for me. You can work in the bar with me…we can watch the ships together…Oh God and I was going to go and submit to stasis tomorrow…."

"Stasis?"

"Yes, I thought you were properly dead, remember, Meroviki said you were. I thought he meant you were never coming back. I buried Dimitri a few years ago too, he was the last person I knew who remembered you. I was alone…" he felt Ianto's arms tighten, revelled in it, hugged him hard and stroked his body and his face and his arms, trying to reassure himself this wasn't a dream. Ianto tried to smile. "Thank you. I really didn't know what to do. I'm only glad you didn't sleep before I got here. I've been going mad since…I can't ever crew again, I'm 80% plastic…"

"You are beautiful. It doesn't matter what you are made of, you are beautiful…you always will be. You showed me that about myself. Join me in the bar, help me, "live with me and be my love and we shall all the pleasures prove". Please, say you will." he smiled and kissed Ianto's lips and claimed him as his own. "Say you'll do this for me."

"If you're sure…" Ianto began. "I'm selfish enough to say yes because I'm afraid…"

"That makes two of us then." Jack grinned. "We'll go to the future together?"

Ianto nodded and held him the harder. "If you don't mind…?"

"Mind?" Jack was incredulous. "I love you…" Ianto looked at him, stunned. "I love you," Jack repeated, "with all my heart and soul, Ianto. You are everything I ever wanted. Please say you'll be mine…we could marry…."

"Marry?"

"Yes, they allow anything sentient to get married here, even cyborgs." Jack grabbed his hand and took a deep breath. "Ianto Jones, I'm asking you to marry me, join with me… be my partner…forever."

"Oh Jack…"

"Please?" he couldn't help the pleading in his voice. The blue eyes watched him, assessing.

"No," he said and the bottom nearly dropped out of Jack's world for a second time until Ianto added "When this doesn't scare me any more…that's when I'll say yes. When I can look you in the eyes and say that I'm no longer terrified of this…" He looked downcast but resolute. "I can't say yes to you when my answer would be driven by the selfishness of sheer fright. That's not a good basis for marriage, specially not one that's going to last as long as ours."

Disappointed, Jack had to acknowledge he was right. Jack desperately wanted Ianto but for the right reasons. "Hang on, did you just say that our marriage is going to last a long time? Does that mean…?"

"Jack, it will last a long time. I know it will. I never said I wouldn't marry, just not right now. For goodness sake…"

Jack's grin split his face. "Come on, Ianto, lesson one in living forever…" he pulled back the covers and climbed in beside him.

"Which is?" Ianto asked.

"Always do as the boss tells you." Jack grinned. "And tomorrow, we have a bar to open. Lesson two in living forever is never keep thirsty spacers waiting and you have a whole lot to learn in serving behind a bar…" and Ianto finally laughed as Jack rolled him over, hugging him close and kissing him fiercely.

Epilogue

Three years later…

"I give you this ring as a token of my unending love and devotion, in the full knowledge that the future lies before us unwritten, our story to be lived. I take you, Jack Harkness, to be my lawful partner in the eyes of all present and in sight of the deities we revere. From this moment on, I am yours." Ianto slipped the ring onto Jack's finger, a duplicate already resting on his own. Jack had vowed to honour and protect, in the traditional Earther way, even if the 'in sickness and in health' part had been a bit of a moot point as far as they were concerned. They were married, a year to the day that Jack had found Ianto in his bed, frightened and lost. Since then, Ianto had served in the bar with him, taken his place as another fixed point in time for the spacers who visited, another constant in their ever changing lives. Far from saddening him, there seemed to be a kind of serendipity to it, a certain peace to be found.

The crew of the SMS (the See Me Smile) 837 tumbled through the door one evening, the captain hanging on to a very young-looking and attractive man in spacer's uniform. Jack was reminded startlingly of Ianto and smiled.

"Evening, you lot just in?"

"That we are, and we're thirsty as all hell."

"How are you, Bilis?" Ianto had come up alongside. "Ready for retirement yet? Long time, no see…"

"My stars, Ianto Jones, as I live and breathe. Some liar said you were dead."

"He wasn't a liar, I am." Ianto tapped the plastic on his body. "Cyborg…they rebuilt me. I work here now. I'm turning into a museum piece as we speak…" he shared a glance with Jack and smiled. It was a long-running joke. They both noticed the young man's mouth was hanging open.

"What's your name, Handsome?" Jack asked.

"A-A-Alonso. Alonso Frame. Midshipman." he stammered, shyly.

"Alonso, this is Soldier, otherwise known as Jack, and that's Ianto, he used to be a spacer, just like you. These two fine men run this place so what they say is law. They serve the best drinks in this sector and I don't expect you to give 'em any trouble, you got that?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good lad, now get the drinks in like a good boy and we'll see you in a minute or three." He looked pointedly at Jack. "Soldier here likes to talk, don't you Jack?" he said slyly, clapping Alonso on the shoulder and abandoning him to his fate.

"So…you're both cyborgs…?" he looked fascinated, not repulsed as some had been.

"Yeah. Both of us. Why?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Curious?" the young man blushed prettily.

"I've heard of you…" Alonso smiled. "You're the poet, aren't you?" he looked at Ianto, who nodded, a slow smile lighting his face. "I have a first edition…would you…I mean…"

"Of course." Ianto grabbed a pen and Alonso pulled out the battered copy of his book. Ianto took it reverently and turned the page. "To Alonso," he wrote, "in appreciation of his appreciation. Ianto Jones." He returned the book. "There you go."

"Wow, thank you…" his eyes were shining. "I never thought I'd ever get to meet you…And Captain Harkness…" his eyes looked away suddenly. "My Grandfather said he knew you, both of you…"

"Oh? I've known a few people in my time…what was his name?"

"He was a spacer too. His name was John Hart."

"Never…" Jack grinned. "Ianto here was First Companion of the WGH456 after John retired and John was a regular patron here, I missed him when he retired."

"He always used to tell me I had to look you up, if I ever found myself here. So…here I am. He asked me to tell you, if ever I spoke to you, you were always real to him. Tell Jack, he used to say, tell him he will always be real to me and nobody ever served a better Hypervodka." Jack laughed appreciatively.

"Thank you for that, Midshipman Alonso Frame. I'd better get your drinks…"

"He told me something else too." Jack paused and looked at the young man.

"And what would that be?"

"He told me to take my chances, not to let an opportunity slip past. He said you taught him that."

"Sound advice. You never know what will come your way." Jack handed a tray over and pilled it with two bottles and six glasses. "On the house," he said, "for old time's sake. Drink to John for me, would you?"

"Thank you, sir. I'll make sure we do."

"Maybe see you later?" Ianto raised an eyebrow and smiled. Alonso blushed again and nodded, hurrying off with the tray. They heard the muted cheer as he arrived.

"Cute…" Jack commented. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Quite probably. Does he remind you of me? All those years ago, Jack?"

"Like it was yesterday." Jack smiled, thoughtful and nostalgic.

They worked in silence for a while before Ianto turned to him and said "Yes, Jack."

"Pardon? I don't recall asking a question…" Jack looked at him strangely, wondering what had prompted his words.

"It's an old one, that's why. What question would I say yes to?"

Jack turned to look at him, a frown on his face. "I…" he paused, his eyes studying Ianto carefully. Then he swallowed and blinked. His eyes were bright, glittering in the lights from the bar. "That question?" he said, gruffly. "You mean…?"

"When it no longer terrifies me. When I know I'm agreeing because I love you and not because I'm terrified of the future. Yes, Jack, I know now. I'm not scared anymore."

"Wait, we have to do this right…" Jack dashed into the back room, his office, and Ianto heard him scrabbling around somewhere. When he came back, he was bearing a small box. Behind the bar, he sank on one knee, and looked up at his lover and friend. "Ianto jones, will you marry me?" he proffered the box, a plain white-gold ring inside, inset with one impossibly bright diamond. Ianto smiled his slow smile again, and raised Jack to his feet.

"Yes, Jack. I will." Jack slid the ring onto his finger and the bar suddenly erupted into cheers and applause and appreciative whistling. Jack kissed Ianto and hugged the young man to him. "Thank you." He whispered and then spotted Alonso looking at them wistfully. Jack crooked a finger and the young man paused, mouthing "Who? Me?" and Jack nodded. Alonso came over obediently and Ianto drew him into their hug.

"Celebrate with us?" Ianto asked.

"Both of us." Jack added seeing Alonso's eyes grow wide.

"You sure?" Alonso couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. These two gorgeous men were asking him to join them. Oh boy, what a first night initiation this was going to be.

"Your grandfather did say you should take your opportunities…" Jack grinned.

"Okay then." Alonso sighed. "He also said this would be the first and last time…tradition…"

"Tradition be damned." Jack said gently, "People like us start traditions, just look at this place. This bar is the biggest Spacer tradition of 'em all. So, from now on, every time you are in port, you come find us. Got that? We are your new tradition." And Alonso couldn't disagree with that.